punching obama

And to everyone in this Congress who still refuses to raise the minimum wage, I say this: If you truly believe you could work full-time and support a family on less than $15,000 a year, go try it. If not, vote to give millions of the hardest-working people in America a raise.
—  President Barack Obama State of the Union Address Jan. 20th, 2015

I recently stated in an interview that I was prepared to go ‘nuclear’ over that whole Crimea business. By which I mean I was prepared to punch Obama square in the face. Because my left hook is so goddamn powerful it requires 14 hours of fuelling and multiple authorization codes before it can be launched.