punch way of the dragon

Ya’ll asked for it.

Basically, my assignment for English class was that I had to write a new ending for the short story “The Last Leaf”, instead of just doing it the normal way I decided to add in a dimension punching George R R Martin, dragons, and some gay, I recommend reading that story first before reading this, it will make it at least slightly less ridiculous.

I present to you all….

….Why I hate myself.


A writer sits within a room in his home, writing the last bit of his newest short story, also known as “The Last Leaf”, it was a sleepy afternoon, and everything was still and calm, a perfect time of the day to finish and hopefully send the story to a publisher.

When suddenly, there was a burst of light, as if somebody had pummeled reality itself with its big, fat, strong fist.

And within the room, right behind the chair the writer was sitting in, a glowing crack had appeared. And within it, a single, somewhat aged hand burst through, before another had appeared, both hands trying to make the crack expand.

The hands had succeeded, reality itself could not stop the fury of GEORGE R. R. MARTIN.  

O. Henry looked behind him so quickly one could have confused him with a whip, the sudden appearance of the genocidal writer had left him thoroughly bewildered. George pointed at O. Henry, and suddenly a large FIGHT!     Had appeared on the screen of their lives,  O. Henry got up and quickly changed to a fighting stance, raising his fists and ready to DUKE IT OUT. George swiftly punched O. Henry in the face, making him topple over and land on the ground, rendering him defenseless, within that moment of inability George had grabbed a pillow and started to use it to smother O. Henry, whispering “Sssh, no tears, only sleep now…” to the now passed out writer. He gave him a quick peck on the forehead and got up and looked at the typewriter He cracked his knuckles like a flippin’ pro and said “It is time.” Before sitting down, and beginning his work on the new and “Improved” version of the story.


Sue had finished getting insults thrown at her by Mr Behrman about Johnsys’ condition, it appeared that like most of the people she had begged, nobody was willing to help, she finally gave up and glumly walked back to the hospital, sighing deeply and looking up at the sky, as if it could hold some form of an answer, but despite her great wishes, nothing had occurred. Sue would be returning after a fruitless mission, and Johnsys’ death was, without a doubt, going to happen soon.Sue returned to the bed of her lover, Johnsy(indeed, over the past months of Johnsys’ illness they had bonded, at least, whenever she was not stuck in some sick sense of stupor.), but her condition was slowly getting worse, especially due to the fact that a malevolent wizard had appeared in the room just a few days ago, binding Johnsys’ soul to a leaf. Oh, did I forget to mention? Johnsy was now a leaf. A pathetic leaf. Barely hanging on to the tree for its dear, dear life. Just the sight of her now leafy lover brought tears to Sues’ eyes, the pain was inconceivably hard to keep in for the past few days, but she had to. She simply had to. If not for her, for Johnsy, for that giant flying lizard in the sky, for the doctor- ….Wait. What? 

Sue looked outside of the hospital window, only to immediately be greeted by a furious ball of fire. Needless to say, she died. And so did the tree.

Mr Behrman, the disgusting lout that he was, actually tried to draw the majestic beast, but once noticed, it flew down upon him and crushed his head with one of its gigantic and clawed hands, Behrman’s last words were something along the lines of “TAAAAKE MEEEE!” because he was ultimately suicidal, and was planning on ending it all when her actually got around to it.

The dragon flew off, its’ front paw now covered in blood, and landed atop the hospital, bringing down a rain of hellfire, once the city was nothing more than ashes, it roared triumphantly, flexing its’ wings and flashing a monstrous grin.

Humanity: 0 Dragons: 1

((I am so sorry I forced myself to write this. I genuinely hope I fail.))

@lilbanana666 @shibolet3

  • Woman: The Grey Wardens just saved my life from undead! Aren't they great?!
  • Inquisitor: They ARE pretty great.
  • Solas: [slightly disapproves]