pun ler

anonymous asked:

21 with (platonic) sans and papyrus for the ficlets please?

Now accepting drabbles!

“SANS! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?” Papyrus raised a brow-bone at his brother and sneered, almost concerned at what the answer might be.

Sans chuckled to himself and wiped away the moisture from his eyes. “Aw man, bro, just this killer joke I thought of. Wanna hear?”

“IF IT’S ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR TERRIBLE PUNS, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST IN-”

Ignoring his brothers dramatic declarations, Sans interrupted. “Whaddaya call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?” Cut short, Papyrus narrowed his eyes at his brother, tapping his foot impatiently against the floor. Sans smirked and delivered the punchline: “A condescending con descending.”

Papyrus sighed heavily. “WOWIE! THAT WAS ACTUALLY WORSE THAN I EXPECTED.”

“Aw, c’mon. It’s funny. You’re smiling.”

“I AM NOT!”

Sans rolled his eyes. “Fine then. I’ll make you smile.”

“AND JUST HOW DO YOU PLAN TO–ACK!” There was a rattling of bones as Sans lurched forward and tackled his brother to the floor. A short scuffle ensued as Papyrus tried and failed to free himself, ultimately ending up with his legs pinned firmly down by the weight of Sans’ body. “SANS! THE GREAT PAPYRUS CANNOT BE DEFEATED BY SOMEONE WHO TELLS HORRIBLE JOKES ALL THE TIME.”

“My jokes are great. Admit it.”

“NO!”

Sans flashed a feral grin. “All right, you’ve forced my hand. Or rather, both of them…” He raised both his hands and wiggled his phalanges menacingly at his brother. Before Papyrus had time to offer even the slightest plea for mercy, Sans dug his fingers into the taller skeleton’s rib cage, occasionally moving to wiggle a few fingers into the curvature of his spine.

“NYEHE! S-SAHANS! STAHAHAHAP!” Papyrus’ smile stretched ear-to-nonexistent-ear as Sans’ devious fingers drew loud laughter and snorts from him. “AS THE FUTURE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD, I- NYEHEHE, NOT THEHEHERE! I ORDER YOU TO STOP THIHIHIS!”

“If you want it to stop so bad, just admit my jokes are great,” Sans teased, leaning forward and blowing a dry raspberry on each of Papyrus’ lowest rib bones.

“NYEHEHEHE! ALL RIHIHIHIGHT! YOUR JOKES AHAHARE T-TOHOHOLERABLE!” Papyrus gulped in air as his brother withdrew his hands and shot Sans a glare without a single ounce of venom behind it. “I WILL BE GETTING YOU BACK FOR THIS, YOU KNOW.”

“Heh. Sure, bro. Just make sure the pun-ishment fits the crime.”

It was all Papyrus could do not to scream out of frustration.