Hey guys I was bored so I wrote the intro to a zombie story that I think I’ll set in Binghamton. It’s pretty bad. Enjoy.
Back before the world turned to shit, people used to love to point out how impossible a zombie apocalypse really was. They’d always go on and on about how the reason we never see the beginning of the zombie apocalypse is because it simply would be put to a stop before things got out of hand. What our ethnocentric, first-world selves failed to realize was that it would never start in a country where we could just watch movies and discuss random crap like the realism of a hypothetical Rapture. It started in places where people didn’t know what brand names were and the most valuable commodity was water. If we ever bothered thinking about it for one second it would’ve made sense. These places are breeding grounds for disease with almost no relationship with first world countries and have never been taught “the rules” of zombies. To make matters worse, it As these countries begin to realize what’s going on, the more radical ones, perhaps Somalia, Afghanistan, or Iran thought that they had just been handed the greatest weapon of all time, something that could change society. Naturally, instead of attempting to contain the disease, these geniuses decided to devote all their resources into inserting operatives into key locations who would inject themselves with the virus in areas that would maximize the damage. Others went to hospitals to inoculate patients, ensuring that all possible relief areas would be overrun. While this was happening all over the world, the twisted fucks that started all of this failed to keep their own countries safe and were never able to implement the stages of their attack.
By the way, the reason I’m being this vague is because the events I just described purely conjecture. It turns out investigative journalism tends to take quite a hit when the age of information comes to an end. All we know for sure is that when the world fell into ruin, it happened everywhere all at once and that specific research facilities and relief centers were targeted. Six months ago, I never would’ve believed that Binghamton would be one of the east coast’s last sanctuaries for humanity. However, looking back, I couldn’t have picked a better place to be when shit hit the fan. Low profile enough not to attract attention from the initial attack, located in a fairly mountainous and hard to reach region, enough food to feed tens of thousands of ravenous college students and a focus on sustainable energy, Binghamton really was the complete zombie survival package.
I’d like to think that 100 years from now some kids will be going to school to study humanity’s darkest period and how it recovered from the brink of extinction, but right now the only class I’m taking here is Zombie 101.