pullout method

New Series: You and I(Chris Evans x Black!Reader)

Summary: Follow Chris and our reader as their love and family grows.

In which our reader finds out some wonderful news.

~~~~~~~~

You paced back and forth outside of your bathroom door. You’ve been waiting for over an hour..well, not really an hour, more like 5 minutes but it felt like an hour.

Over the last month you’ve been feeling like shit. It first started when you went out for lunch for your team to discuss ideas for new movie you’ve been writing. You ordered your favorite dishes but once the waiter sat the plate down in front of you, you nearly threw up right then and there.

Another time was when you threw up last nights dinner all over your new sheets. Luckily Chris wasn’t there to see you in such a state. Not that you cared but no ones going to rock a boner after seeing their wife vomiting. After that, you stated in bed, chopping it up to the weather change in Boston.

Next was when you and Chris decided to have a little get away to celebrate your 3 year anniversary. Once you guys arrived to your villa, you all but pucked on your husbands shoes. After cleaning up, Chris wanted to cut the trip short but you refused to since you’ve been cleared your schedules for the week long trip.

The finale straw was when you had your family come visit from out of town. You stood in the kitchen with your older sister, finishing up the peas and potatoes while your sister tells you another story about her booming business when your mother walks in for her nap.

“Well look who decided to come grace us with her presence.” Your sister spoke first while your mother walks the fridge with a frown, sending a playful glare at your sister.

You chuckle, looking over. “How’d you sleep mama?” You ask as she sits on one of the stools.

“Not good.” She lets out, passing her bottled water for your sister to open.

You stop stirring for a second to look over at her with concern. “How come? Was it the mattress? We just order a new one for the guest rooms.”

Your mother ways her hand dismissively. “No it wasn’t that.”

“Then what was it?” Your sister ask.

Your mother looks between the two of you. “I had a dream about fish.”

Silence falls among your three while you all glance at each other. You take one good look at your sister before breaking out in a fit of laughter.

“Mama you know that’s just a myth right?” Your sister lets out between her fits of giggle. “Lord I thought it was something serious!”

“Laugh ya’llwant but when my mother said the same thing I ended pregnant withcho bed head!”

“You know we have things now to prevent stuff like that.” You say before going back to stirring. “Condoms, birth control, ya know!”

Your sister walks over to your mother, hugging her playfully. “Right? And besides, I practice the pullout method.”

Your mother gasp before taking a swipe at your sister. “Maria Lynn!”

She laughed. “I’m only kidding mama damn! Plus I just started my period so I am anything but pregnant so go question the married one over there!” Says, shooting a finger at you.

You shake your head quickly. “Uh, yeah it’s a no for me dawg!”

“Oh yeah? When was the last time you gotten your period?” Your sister asked.

“Like a couple weeks-“ you pause for a moment to really think about to. You don’t remember getting your period for all of this month and last month but doesn’t mean anything right? You’ve been having irregular periods for most of your life. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

Your sister raises an eyebrow at you. “Mama, did Y/N tell you how she’s been throwing up like crazy recent?”

Her eyes grow wide, looking between you and your sister. “Is that true?”

You chewed on your lower lip before nodding your head. “Yes but you guys know I get sick over the littlest things.”

“You need a pregnancy test.”

“I do not!”

“Y/N, yes you do!”

“How did this convention turn around on me? Mama is dreaming about fish! I’m starting to worried for her well being.” You said quickly but it didn’t convince them at all. While your mother finished dinner, you and your sister made a quick run to grab a few pregnancy test but before you could take them, the rest of your family came over.

That was two days ago so now here you were, pacing in your bedroom. You’ve drank nothing but water since you woke up in order to use all ten test you brought. Your sister called you over dramatic but you just wanted to be sure it was true.

The timer on your went brought you back to reality. “Alright, moment of truth..” taking a deep breath, you walk into the bathroom and decided to flip the pregnancies tests over one by one.

Positive.

“Oh shit..”

Positive.

“Oh shiiitt..”

Positive.

“OH SHIT!”

Flipping over the last three, they all showed up positive.

You were pregnant.

It’s been brought up plenty of times during your relationship with Chris that he wanted kids and to be honest, wanted them as well but you both agreed to take some time to enjoy the marriage life before bringing any kids into the world. Apart of you was nervous to say the least. Like before, you both wanted kids but both of your careers have kept you guys from even being in the same home. Chris had been LA finishing up a press tour before coming home and you just got the green light to start the product on a movie you’ve spent a year writing. So once Chris got home, you’ll only be able to spend a week with him before you had to leave out.

But now, plans may change.

You weren’t sure how long you were in the bathroom but it was long enough for Dodger to start pawing at the closed door. You check your phone for the time and cursed under your breath. Chris was due home any minute now and you haven’t even processed what the hell is going on. You quickly gather everything together and rush out the bathroom with Dodger in close behind.

After getting dinner started you looked over that the box wrapped on the kitchen counter. You wanted to do something special with the good news but just didn’t have the time, plus, Chris is a simple guy.

The sound of keys turning the lock breaks you out of your thoughts as Dodger bolts too the front door.

“Hey buddy! You missed me?”

Just the sound of your husband’s voice rings a smile to your face after all these years. You wait patiently as your favorite boys reunited before his heavy footsteps bring him to the kitchen.

“Daddies home!”

Little does he know!

You rush over and quickly wrap yourself around him while he holds you close to keep you up.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too babygirl.” He whispers.

You share a moment of just holding each other, remembering how long it’s been since you really held each other. After a while, he sets you down before going to the fridge for a beer. You ask him about his trip while he takes a sip of his drink.

“I’m pregnant!”

“Come again?”

You were so sure what came over you but you just couldn’t wait anymore. Sliding the box across the counter, you watch his facial expression change from complete confusion to total shock.

“Babe..”

“I just found out today. Remember how I’ve been feeling under the weather lately, well this is why.”

Chris looks between you and the box full of pregnancy test.

“Holy fuck!” He screams, running around the counter, picking you up and bringing you into a tight bear hug.

“I’m guessing you’re as happy as I am?” You let out in a giggle.

“Happy? I’m fucking ecstatic!” He laughs, putting your down before cupping your face and bringing you into a kiss.

“I knew it.” He lets out after breaking the kiss.

“Knew what?”

“That you were pregnant.”

You look up at him in confusion.

“How?”

He gives you a little smirk.

“Cause your mom dreamt about fish.”

Originally posted by beardedchrisevans

tora42  asked:

Finn and Rey accidental baby acquisition! Or their own baby either way

accidental baby acquisition is literally my favorite phrase in this whole damn world, anyway here’s 1.5k words

“So when things were getting serious with Rey, and I asked if there was any questions you had, anything at all you needed to know,” Poe said slowly, “and you said, ‘nope, not at all, I know everything about sex I could ever need to know—’” Poe spread his hands. Finn had the decency to look sheepish. “That might have been a slight overestimation of your abilities?”

“You can’t know what you don’t know,” Finn said, which sounded almost reasonable were it not for the situation they were in.

“Well, you didn’t know sex led to babies,” Poe said.

Finn laughed, with an embarrassed little nose scrunch that Poe refused to find charming. “Yeah, who knew that happened?”

“Most, uh, most people, buddy.”

And Finn grinned again. Looking a little less sheepish than before. “Yeah,” he said good-naturedly. “That’s our bad.”

Poe brought his hands together and stared at Finn. He wasn’t exactly yelling at Finn. For one, Finn was a grownup—albeit one with, it turned out, a shockingly inadequate sexual education—and Poe wasn’t here to chastise him like a child. For another, how could you berate someone about something they were so clearly overjoyed by? Even if maybe, perhaps, just a little bit, the thought of Finn and Rey as parents seemed maybe—and Poe didn’t want to be judgmental here, he wasn’t here to judge, but he had to say it—a little terrifying?  

“So will you be the backup parent?” Finn asked again. “You know. If anything happens?”

“Yeah, bud,” Poe said after a moment. “Happy to—”

He couldn’t finish that sentence. Finn was hugging him too tight.

Keep reading

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Cygnaut: This is clearly frustrated dad Erik trying to explain his life to childless Charles. 

Unforgotten: Charles makes the mistake of telling Erik he has a beautiful family and Charles would like to start a family someday

Erik: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:(

after two hours of ranting, Charles is like, “well, if it’s that bad then why didn’t you guys stop after you had Anya????”

Unforgotten: Erik mutters something about the pullout method. CONDOMS ARE YOUR FRIEND, CHARLES, USE THEM

Cygnaut: AFTER YOU HAVE KIDS YOURE TOO TIRED TO GO PICK UP SOME CONDOMS. AND THEN YOU HAVE *MORE* KIDS ITS A SELF-PERPETUATING CYCLE

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry if this is weird for you, but I feel like you would be a good help with this.. I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for a while now. we had sex when I ovulated and there has been a few times where I was worried about cum getting inside of me. I don't feel pregnant but it's like lately I've had this constant bloat look & my stomach has been making weird noises. I don't know what to do or how to sneak a test.. is it normal to be pregnant and not exactly feel it?

I hate to get all mom on you but WHY ARE TOU HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX. It’s honestly not that hard to use a condom. If you and your boyfriend don’t want to bring a child into this world then please be responsible young adults and use protection. The pullout method is not effective. Pre-cum can get you pregnant. What you’re doing is not smart. With that being said, do you have any friends that may be a little older and can take you to the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test? There’s also planned parenthood, they can help you. I don’t know if what you’re feeling has anything to do with pregnancy because I’ve never been pregnant and don’t have enough knowledge on the subject to know.

anonymous asked:

Gosh I never knew I could be so obsessed with a couple but I reallly really want Rick and Michonne to have a baby during their two year break. I would even be fine with a pregnancy unplanned and maybe that leads to a conversation about Andre and she tells Maggie who tells her that is wonderful and to hurry and tell Rick because life is precious and no matter what she will be fine.

I’m with you. I’ve already cast the baby, even:

As far as Andre…the more I think of it, the more I think we won’t get that scene, and that the moment a pregnancy moment/scare/whatever happens, it’ll be implied they’ve already had this conversation, which, would make sense.  These two are clearly using the pullout method (if he’s bothering to do that at all–I don’t imagine he did the first time, and after this Negan garbage, I don’t imagine he will then, either), so baby!talk would have had to happen, you know?  

And it annoys the fuck out of me–glossing over something like that (or glossing over Michonne and Carl’s first conversation post the awkward balcony scene with shirtless Rick and braless Michonne and weird “yo, your parents weren’t done banging yet, so I’m sitting here chilling” Jesus), but I just…expect they would.  Doesn’t mean a conversation about Andre won’t happen again; I just don’t think it will be the conversation about Andre, if that makes any sense.

  • Boy: you should come thru so we can chill
  • Me: chill? What's that supposed to mean?
  • Boy: ya know, watch Netflix and shit like that
  • Me: by your definition of chill, which includes Netflix, that we won't really be watching, but instead include us having sexual intercourse I am going to have to pass on that.
  • Boy: man you tripping
  • Me: I am not tripping. Having sexual relations with a fuck boy is doomed for disaster and I am not trying to get pregnant
  • Boy: What you talking bout pregnancy for? Ain't nobody trying to get you pregnant.
  • Me: ok but you the one who brought up chilling and do you know what chilling leads up to? Making chil-dren, that I clearly know you ain't ready for. And if you talk about the pullout method you need to know that your precum has semen in it and I can still get pregnant. Oh and another thing, 820,000 teens become pregnant each year, which means that 34% of teenagers have at least one pregnancy before they turn 20. And guess what? I'm 19. Also, I don't think you are ready for parenthood and raising a black child in today's society, especially with all the police killings. Black children are labeled at birth, thugs and criminals, and the police do not care what age a black child is, they will still be killed. Black children are 21 TIMES more likely to be killed in today's society than whites. Did you know that blacks only makeup 13% of the worlds population and we are the main ones either getting killed or put into jail? Are you ready to fight and protect your child at all costs? Are you willing to stand up for all black lives? and I'm not sure if you can handle the responsibility of raising him/her to be the king or queen that they can be. And I doubt that you stay while I'm pregnant and I am not raising a child on my own. I can't be a mom and dad to a child. They need both parents there for them, especially a strong black men to encourage and show them the ways of how to love and treat a woman, protect them, show them what manhood is, and teach them all the things that a woman cannot. Are you ready for this type of responsibility since you talking about chilling?
  • Boy: . . . . . Uh. . . Man you don't even have to come over it was just a suggestion.
  • Me: that's what I thought. You have a goodnight 😘