pulled from the world wide web

lee-bunnii  asked:

how would jumin react to mc showing him cat videos

Author’s note: I love writing crazy cat lady Jumin

Jumin

  • “MC, I don’t know what you’re up to, but I have a meeting in 10 minutes that I cannot be late for.”
  • “This will only take like 3 minutes!”
  • there was a lot of sighing from him while you tried to pull it up
  • bUT WHEN HE SAW YOU TYPE THE WORD CAT
  • he was VERY INTRIGUED
  • “OH MY! Do you think Elly would do something like this?”
  • “Look at this one MC! It just tried to attack it’s own tail!!”
  • “Is that it? Are there other videos?”
  • when you show him the giant collection of cat videos on the World Wide Web you swear he’s going to faint
  • then he reaches for his phone
  • “Jaehee clear my schedule for the rest of the week.”
  • “The WHOLE week???”
  • “Yes. Thank you. Goodbye.”
  • you can’t even sleep without him waking you up to show you his most recent discovery
But what about the muggle born wizards...

…who still go home every summer? Sure they have magic now, but that doesn’t mean they don’t still spend a LOT of time in the muggle world. Are you telling me that muggle borns have had absolutely no influence on Hogwarts student culture?

Think about Gryffindors, full of energy and wanting to play but unable to ride their brooms well enough to ever be coordinated enough for Quidditch. So they play touch football on the weekends. And the Hufflepuff muggle borns are, like, hell yeah! Let’s play touch and make friends! And of course the Slytherins are not about to let the Gryffindors start a league and be competitive without them, so they start to play. And the Ravenclaws join up and some of them get really into how you can retool standard Quidditch plays for football. And by the end the wizard kids have been drawn in too, of course, at first wondering what the hell this sport is and how could it possibly be better than Quidditch, but then everyone starts play tackle because of course they do, they’re teenagers, and suddenly the wizards are like, “Wait, you mean I get to be the Bludger? I’m in!” And the girls play too, of course, because Quidditch isn’t gendered so why should football be? And by the end of the year they have a whole league set up and they even convince Mrs. Hooch to let them transform the Quidditch pitch for games and everyone comes and cheers and it’s all around a good time.


And all the Hufflepuffs who wanted to do drama in middle or high school and suddenly they’re magic and all these new avenues open up. They can do Peter Pan where the characters actually fly! And only a few of their friends come to the first performance, some muggle born, others wizard, but the production is so good that they all talk about it and get the other houses interested to. So the Hufflepuffs hold open auditions for their next performance and they do a version of Beauty and the Beast where they transfigure the actors into actual living household objects. And for that, of course, they need serious help, and they get a bunch of seventh years to help with that and so now there’s just a bunch of drama kids running around talking about how to stage different muggle productions and what spells can be used and Professor Sprouts eventually convinces Dumbledore to set up a theater so that they’ll stop holding their meetings in the Hufflepuff common room.


Or what about the Ravenclaws who want to start a debate team and at first all the wizards think they’re crazy, but then the muggle borns do a demonstration and the wizards realize they can argue about just about anything, from spells to wizard politics and suddenly there’s practice debates going on in the middle of hallways and class, but the wizards get over excited and they turn into shouting matches while the muggle borns try to get them to “Calm down, please, you’re not using sources like I taught and what the hell don’t hex me!” And then a Gryffindor throws in their opinion one day and get’s drawn in, followed by a Slytherin because they always want to get the last word. And the muggle born debaters realize they need help so they recruit a bunch of Hufflepuffs to act as judges and decide who wins and who loses. And eventually they get a professor to hold real debates (rules and all!) and winning teams earn house points, just like in Quidditch.


And finally, the Slytherin muggle borns who are SO DONE with having no electronics because, seriously, they have social media to keep up with back home and who else will create a Hogwarts Pintrest board or blog if they don’t? And so they get a petition going and all the other muggle borns are immediately on board and after weeks of talking about it nonstop they get the wizard students to sign it as well. Then after a few more weeks of well reasoned arguments and some master manipulation they get each of the heads of house to sign it and take it to Dumbledore with a plan for how to keep wizard things separate from the world wide web, but make both accessible to all students and then he yes, finally!, and someone pulls out a gameboy they brought even though they knew it wouldn’t work and a first year pulls out a playstation he didn’t know wouldn’t work and they introduce the rest of Slytherin to Pokemon and Mario Cart and nobody sees any of the Slytherins after that for weeks, except in class, and they’re all mumbling nonsense about Pikachu and turtle shells.

Scribble-Doodle: IKEA Magic

A silly piece. I spent the afternoon assembling furniture - quite a satisfying venture, seeing it take shape - and a Malec bunny was born. 

I think that Alec would follow the instructions step by step. Magnus would throw the manual out and just go at it, he’s the High Warlock of Brooklyn, after all! And here’s the result…


“… I felt like redecorating, doing something I have never tried before,” Magnus informs Alec from the kitchen where he’s brewing coffee - alcohol would make the whole affair funnier, but there will be hammers and screwdrivers involved. Better play it safe.

“You mean putting furniture together with your own hands is a novelty worth exploring for you?” Alec’s voice, dripping with sarcasm, floats from the living room. 

“Of course! That’s why I went for IKEA this time. It’s not like you can assemble yourself an original Louis XVI chair,” Magnus retorts.

Keep reading

Disconnected (Ashton Irwin Oneshot)

[A/N]: This is another song based oneshot from my 5/10 oneshot series with Mickie. It’s based off of the song Disconnected (hence the title) and idk if this is really smut smut but I’m tagging it as smut? Idk man…

You can expect (from me) oneshots based off of Gotta Get Out, Out Of My Limit, and Heartache on the Bigscreen. Mickie will be writing for Amnesia, What I Like About You, SLSP, Beside You, and Unpredicatable. 

Oh! And you can read The Only Reason (Luke Hemmings Oneshot) right here :) Advice: grab a tissue box

 “Babe… Babe, wake up.” A soft whisper of a kiss is placed on my forehead and I grin despite my sleepy state. There is nothing I love more than being awoken by Ashton this way; having him propped up by his arms on either side of my head and kissing my face all over until I open my eyes. “Please get up. We have to do something today!”

            “Why?” I grumble, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down on top of me. He sighs but curls me up in his arms, knowing it will take me awhile before I’m truly ready to wake. “Because – I have to leave tomorrow.”

            The blissful forgetfulness of sleep flows away from me as his words sink in. The sadness that settles over me at the thought of his leaving brings a silence over us, so we simply lie together and listen to the pitter patter of rain falling against the concrete roof of our studio apartment.

Finally Ashton speaks again, his soft voice murmuring into my ear. I don’t think he even knows if I’m really awake, but he says it anyway. “I don’t know if I want to go on tour,” he confesses. “Not without you.”

I frown and twist my body so that I’m able to meet his gaze. His hazel eyes are dimly lit from the lack of light but still vibrant and full of life. They’re my favorite thing about him. “Ash, you know I have classes that I can’t just leave, otherwise I would come with you.” I smile softly. “Plus, you probably won’t even miss me when you’re gone. You’ll be having too much fun with the boys.”

He sighs, shaking his head and burying his face into my neck. The warm feeling of his breath against my skin relaxes some of the tension in my body and I work my positioning so I can nuzzle in closer to him. “I know you can’t leave your classes but I’ll miss you so much while I’m gone.” He whispers. “I love touring, but it’s nothing compared to this.”

I can’t help but giggle at his words; there’s no way he means them. “You’re sweet, but honestly,” I chuckle, “touring is ten times better than wasting the day away in this drab little apartment. I bet the stage is your favorite place in the world.”

“You’re wrong.” Ashton whispers, trailing his fingers up my thighs before grabbing onto my hips. He pulls me forward so I’m sitting on his lap, straddling him, while he pulls my torso back down to his chest, wrapping his arms around me and cradling me against him. “You are my favorite place.”

There is so much conviction in his voice that I feel a blush creeping onto my cheeks. Ashton is an amazing boyfriend, but it’s always hard to pull serious moments like this out of him. He can tell me he loves me every day, and I will believe it, but it won’t have the same effect as his crushing embrace and whispers of romantic notions known only to a lucky few. There are no words to match his, so I instead tilt my head and meet his lips with mine. Sometimes the most important things told are never truly said aloud.

“I mean every word, you know.” He whispers against my lips, leaning his forehead against mine. I watch his eyes as he talks, entranced by the way his every thought is conveyed in them. “My sweet escape is being alone with you. Even here in the city that never sleeps, you turn the static sound down so that it’s just us, like we’re the actors on the dark side of the big screen; we’re the ones everyone is watching and rooting for, but we’re so caught up in each other that we can’t be bothered with anything else.”

My emotions are running high, and I can feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes from his words. I’ve never been good at these emotions, “You sound like you’re writing a song.” The words escape my lips as chuckle as I try to lighten the mood.

“Maybe someday we will make it a song about you.” He giggles, the dimples I love so much forming on his cheeks as a smile spreads across his face. “And you’ll hear it and think about this bed, and this room, and everything I love about it.”

I sigh happily, sitting up slightly and reaching up to run a hand through Ashton’s messy hair. My fingers barely make it through his tangled curls, but I can’t seem to get enough of him, so I trail them along the contours of his face. “Why do you even like it here so much?”

He gives me a look like I might be stupid before speaking, his voice high and nervous. “I like the sound of the rain. I like the sounds you make.” Ashton pinches at my side, smiling happily at the little yelp that escapes my mouth. “You’re my getaway. I just like that, here, we put the world away. We get so disconnected. I’m not ready to lose that to wild screams and the boys stealing my underwear.”

I laugh at the ending of his sentence. “Pack extra underwear, just in case.” My laughing quickly fades as I allow my fingers to travel down Ashton’s neck and too his toned chest, still bare and lined with impressions of our sheets from sleep.

I am not ready to give up Ashton to the outside world. That is one thought I am absolutely sure of. “I don’t think we should go out today.” I whisper, letting my hands drift down to the top of his sweatpants as I play with the string attached there. “I think we should add one more memory to your favorite place.”

Ashton’s eyes widen slightly, but he hurriedly rolls us over so he is on top of me as my words sink in. “God, I love you.” He whispers, pressing his lips against mine. Our lips have moved in perfect synchronization, almost like they were made for each other. His tongue slides across my bottom lip, asking for entrance that I am more than happy to give.

His body hovers over mine, careful not to apply pressure as I slide off his sweats, knowing that there is nothing underneath. I palm him slowly, listening to him groan as he grows in length in my grasp. His fingertips trace lines and shapes along every patch of my exposed skin, leaving fire burning in their wake.

“I love you.” He whispers, lips moving away from my own and trailing down onto the swell of my breasts.

It is less than a second later that I reply, “I love you too.” My hands push him back for a moment, pulling my shirt over my head slowly before reattaching our mouths. And in this moment, we may have become victims of the world wide system, a couple continually separated by the distance that comes with the job, but the tangled web of our story is still being spun around us, wrapping us securely together right in the middle. In this moment, I know that no matter the circumstance, we will always find our way back to each other.

The rain still patterns on the roof as Ashton trails kisses along my neck, eliciting breathy moans from me. As we shed the last of the fabric that separates my skin from his, he pulls the blankets over our heads. “Here on the dark side of the screen,” he whispers, “I like the sound of rain and I like the sounds you make.” He repeats his earlier words, pressing our bodies together as we disconnect for the world one last time together before we have to say our goodbyes.

Hypocrisy In Spades ♠️♠️♠️

How often do people on tumblr pull social media tweets, pictures, and posts about Taylor sightings, CH sightings, Karlie sightings, etc from regular citizens accounts and put them on their tumblr blogs to discuss? 

Answer: EVERY DAY

So why is CH’s family any different than the regular citizen?

Answer: THEY ARE NOT

Pulling the “respect their privacy BS”, when they openly chose to post information on the world wide web is absurd and hypocritical. 

The reality is these Tayvins are only upset because they don’t like the comments from CH’s siblings. Truth is scary stuff.

If Taylor was in that picture or the siblings were talking about how perfect a couple they were, the Tayvins would be all over it.

Psst: Thank you to the Tayvins for sending so many new readers to my blog today in all of your hypocritical hysteria. My follower count increased today. 😘

FFVIII Characters as @dril Tweets
  • Squall: no
  • Squall pt2: please check out my devastating one-man takedown of the thanksgiving day parade, which was given a PG rating by the MPAA due to " sarcasm".
  • Squall pt3: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Seifer: i would love to brutally kick the ass off of anyone who tries to be nice to me or be my friend on here
  • Seifer pt2: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn
  • Seifer pt3: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Quistis: (in really quiet, barely audible voice) hope your dick falls of bitch
  • Zell: the entire contents of the kfc smokehouse angus chicken snacker slide out and fall directly into my shirt. "IM FUCKED" i yell out
  • Selphie: pal the only "meltdown" im having is my ice cream melting down into my hand while I lay on the beach & laugh while thinking about the trolls
  • Rinoa: please read my longform treatise "The Arrogance Of Burger King" available only on my new $70/month content streaming platform "ShitWire Pro'
  • Irvine: when you're sitting on the toilet theres a tiny opening between the seat and your dick/nut area. this is known as "The Daredevil's Spittoon"
  • Edea: jusut dropped 8000000 HKD on a usb-interfaced sniper rifle that blocks one of my insolent followers at random every time i pull the trigger
  • Laguna: one of the things you realize when becoming a genius in many aspects of life is that the world wide web. and the computer, is the same thing
  • also Laguna: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"
  • Kiros: pretending not to be mad while the guy in the next stall over takes a big shit while I try to Meditate
  • Ward: A MERE Musing From A Troubled Husband, Strengthened Through Time: "Let the birds have their bird seed, and unto us boys, the Beer seed"