-As a part of my paying job that I am hired to do, I had to drive a motorized cart across the front end of the store. I passed the guests, nodding solemnly to my subjects from my throne, puttering along at a reasonable pace. I have never felt more regal, until I crashed the cart into a wall and had to walk away through a crowd.
-An old woman approached my register, asking, “Are you available?” Unfortunately, I am not, as I have been in a committed relationship for over a year and a half, but I will take your interest as a compliment.
-Under my red sweater I had my pug-print button-up. An elderly woman noticed it and, in response, slowly pumped her small fist in the air and shouted “love them pugs!” This is precisely the reaction I was hoping for when I put it on today.
-A woman approached me while on a phone call. I braced myself to be ignored for the duration of the transaction, but instead, as soon as she reached me, she dropped her phone mid-sentence and greeted my pleasantly. It is nice to be prioritized like this.
-A woman in her sixties purchased half a dozen instruments from our dollar aisle. I look forward to supporting her Indiegogo campaign and purchasing her EP as soon as it is released.
-I overheard one guest tell another, “If you want to get back at someone, give them your recycling.” The other replied, assuring her of how ingenious an idea that was. It was not, but it warms my heart to see young women supporting each other on the long road to super-villainy.
-An enormous bug, the likes of which I am unfamiliar with, appeared on my hand in the middle of a transaction, crawling around lightly. I do not know where he came from. I do not know what his plans were. All I know is how loudly I yelped and how far backwards I jumped.
-I stuck my tongue out at a baby. The baby began to scream and cry. I am a monster and I will never forgive myself.
-A man told me about the dog washing vending machine he was on his way to make use of. I wish I had been able to accompany him. There is nothing more in this world I would rather see.
-As a couple entered the store, a man told the woman, “Welcome to Canada.” I refuse to be the one to tell them how lost they are, but I hope they find out before January 20, 2017, for the sake of their well-being.
-I was brought a sangrita frappuccino sample. I had no idea what to expect, but what my mouth was met with was a fantastically fruity delight and I want another batch of samples poured into a venti cup and delivered to me as soon as possible.
-A girl produced a box of Goldfish, asking her mother if they could get them. Upon being told no, she replaced it on the shelf behind her. When I went to put it back in its proper place, I found that there were no other Goldfish in sight. I do not know how this girl made them appear out of the blue, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from history about people who can make fish show up out of the blue, her mother could have saved a lot of money on the wine she was purchasing.
-An older man froze in the middle of payment, staring off into space. After a moment he seemed to return to his body, apologizing and telling me that he was waiting for the woman to tell him what to do. I looked around and confirmed what I had already thought: there were no women in the area whatsoever. Slowly the portrait of the store’s ghost becomes clearer and clearer.
-I informed a woman that she would not be able to sign with the card reader’s pen, but could use a finger or have me print off a paper copy. In turn, the woman asked if she could use the pen. I told her that it was not working, but that she could use her finger or an ink pen. She then asked me if she could use the card reader’s pen. I understand her.
-As I was walking to clock out for the night, I passed a young girl walking with her mother, her hair pulled entirely in front of her face. After a moment’s reflection, I turned to get a second look. The girl’s hair had not been in front of her face, but rather, she was insistently and impressively flawlessly walking backwards, visibly proud of herself to an extent I hope to one day attain myself.
-On my way out of the store, the man in front of me found himself trapped, as the outer motion detector doors had not opened for him. He turned around, threw out his arms, and announced to the store, “Guess they don’t want to let me the hell out of here!” I stepped around him and exited the store, leaving him dumbstruck in the same position, a solid ten feet away from the door, entirely out of the detector range.
throws himself over her lap & gives her a friendly kiss on the cheek as a greeting. "Did you miss me ~ ?" he already knoes tge answer is yes, but tell him in best detail anyway.
“Oh, Baby Venus.” Did she miss you?
The robot’s cheeks are caught in one hand before he could land, tugging him up mid-air just so she could press her lips to his forehead. He’s not left to dangle though, she reclines into the couch and allows him to drop against her, arms draping around his shoulders with a pug-printed blanket (pulled from hammer space) fastening around him. “Not a day went by where I wasn’t wondering where my famous pink burglar was. ♥ Home became so lonesome without you! How dare you leave a lady in waiting? All those nights I passed through with a hopeful heart, expecting to see my beautiful robot laid across the furniture with one leg in the air and a grape bowl cradled like a newborn in his arms, all those nights I was met with heartbreak..”
Oh, but there’s no harsh feelings here despite the dramatic spiel. That’s made plenty clear by the smile lacing across the toon’s expression. Jess tugs him closer and nuzzles her forehead to his, crimson locks spilling over his shoulder. “I missed you very much, Baby Venus. Don’t you ever leave me waiting again.” Nose boop!
last night’s outfit: a lace dress and pug print leggings last night’s event: an open mic night at a creative writing residential in wales last night’s reading: “I Am Wild Noise” by Dajo Jago last night’s response: a standing ovation, cheers, applause, praise, questions upon questions, hugs and kisses