pug-on-horse

Not Your Girlfriend [Sirius Black – Marauders Era] [Part 8]

Originally posted by cha0sgoddess


PROMPT ♥
After discovering the mysterious contents of the love potion, Y/N L/N and the Marauders get to work on catching the one responsible.
♥ A/N ♥
I’M BACK! Time for another part of Not Your Girlfriend. Btw, I’m so, so sorry, but this is just a filter chapter. In the next part there will be a LOT of uninterrupted smut. Maybe there will even be a reveal of the culprit? ;) Who knows! If y’all couldn’t already tell, I fucking hate Peter—so he’s never featured in the story! Sorry, not sorry.
WARNINGS
Swearing, Fluff
WORD COUNT
1000

Y/N L/N was so bloody embarrassed.

“I always knew you were infatuated with me,” Sirius told her, nursing his lips with a fond, suggestive look on his face. “Heart-eyes, lovey-dovey cuddles… why don’t you give me those everyday instead of once a fortnight?”

She punched him in the arm, hard enough to leave a bruise. “Shut the bloody hell up, Sirius, or I swear on Merlin’s grave I will shove my foot up your arse!”

Sirius winked, not even fazed by her threat. “Kinky.”

This time, she merely stomped off. She took note to never again experiment with love potions, especially around that twat.

——————–

Y/N L/N was bloody suspicious.

“I think we’ve got another mishap on our hands, fellas,” said James, turning to look at Y/N and Remus with wide eyes. “Look at him, fawning all over her like a sodding puppy!”

“Am I the only one starting to realize how all the people being love-induced are blokes?” asked Remus, giving James and Y/N the side-eye. He almost looked… afraid.

Y/N stayed silent for a moment, then suddenly burst out— “Why the bloody hell has it all been Purebloods?”

Remus and James turned to look at her, both bearing befuddled expressions. “What?” they asked together.

Instead of answering the two Marauders, Y/N merely took out a pad of parchment and a writing utensil. The sound of her quill violently scratching against the yellowed paper freaked out the pair even further.

“You’ve gone mad, haven’t you?” Remus asked, eying her warily.

James sighed. “I’ll be the one to break the news to Sirius, I suppose.”

“I haven’t gone mad, you imbeciles!” Y/N finally snapped, tearing her eyes from the parchment long enough to glare at James and Remus. “Listen, alright? Sirius is a Pureblood… the boy that was fawning over Lily is a Pureblood—Ravenclaw, if you didn’t know—and that boy there is one of the Crabbe brothers… also a Pureblood. This can’t just be a coincidence. Three is the magic number—and that means there’s something fishy going on here.”

“It can’t be a Slytherin,” insisted James, waving his hands around dramatically. “It must be a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor.”

“Why couldn’t it be a Slytherin? No one likes the Crabbes, including other Purebloods,” Remus said, giving James a disapproving look.

Y/N nodded along in agreement, which only caused James to pout stubbornly—almost like a child would when being scolded by his mum. “It can be someone from any house. My guess is that it’s someone with a vendetta against bullying gits. See, Sirius is notorious around the school for being a prat, and like Remus said, everyone fucking hates the Crabbes—and that boy who wanted to bed Lily is a snobbish git. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Could be a coincidence that they all have purebred blood, or maybe it’s just someone biased towards Muggleborns and Halfbloods—”

“You’re looking a little too far into this, love,” Sirius said bluntly, coming up from behind and wrapping an arm around Y/N’s waist. His hair was wet and tickled the left part of Y/N’s throat. He looked past to where Jonathan Crabbe was chasing after some poor Slytherin girl with a pug nose and horse-like neck. Sirius smirked, letting out a low snicker. “Well, that’s not a sight you see every day.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow at him. She took the parchment and quill in her hands and shoved them quickly into the depths of her robes. “Sure,” she said dubiously. “Crabbe’s feelings for Parkinson are almost as blatant as James’s are for Lily.”

“I resent that!” yelled James. He bore a rather affronted expression on his face. “To be compared to a Crabbe…” He shuddered.

An amused smile tugged at Sirius’s lips before he turned and looked at Y/N. “I gotta borrow you for an hour… two max,” he said with a smirk. By that tone of voice, he definitely wasn’t leaving any room for an argument.

James and Remus knew where this was going. “So… avoid the dorm?” James asked, looking like he was hoping for an affirmative no. Sirius smirked. “Bollocks. Guess I can go and flirt with my Lily-flower then!” He frolicked off, looking like a damned girl.

Remus didn’t even bother saying anything. He just gave a small smile and ran off in a different direction than James.

“So… your dorm, huh?” Y/N said with a grin. She nudged Sirius in the arm and gave a light kiss to his nape. “Very romantic.”

Phil’s Livestream // 1.26.17

He’s wearing his blue California hoodie

Lots of hi’s so at least one would work for YouTube

He’s quite hungry 

Snack discussion

“Squishy rice is not where it’s at”

Toggles

We all listened to the mating call of a kangaroo I love education

Tb to the kangaroo that tried to punch Dan in the face

He had more of the green watermelon powder so his tongue is still green

He the La La Land soundtrack was stuck in his head all night

He had to put socks on in the night because he was so cold

#Globalissue

Dab the toddler is possibly the cutest of all time

“I would still love my baby if it looked like a mountain goat. I kind of look like a mountain goat and my mum took care of me well.”

Wtf is the dinosaur toy please help

Mangos would not be in a Phil’s Fruit Favorites video soz

“I’ll rub myself in a mango before I eat a mango”

His sock choices today are pugs and sharks

Don’t trust horses man

“You can all spiritually be Dab’s godmother and godfather and godfriend”

Drill man is now buzz saw man and he’s ruining their lives 

The Biggest Smile He Could Muster

They’re going up north for birthday and he doesn’t really know what the plan is but he really wants a red velvet cake

They’ve been chatting with Martyn about pastel-y merch 

danandphilshop.com not there yet but check it out anyway

Dan completely smashed a glass filled with ribena in the kitchen at about 2am it was a mess

He cut his hand but not his foot thankfully he jumped to safety #pray4dan

His favorite song from La La Land is either the opening song or City of Stars

“Don’t blame me. That was a certain Mr. Howell” in regards to Dil’s outfit

His favorite song from Absolution is probably Sing for Absolution 

“This is why I shouldn’t have children or animals” after dropping something

He’s hatching the emu egg he got in the Australian ditl

“Send some birthing vibes please”

He’s not doing a livestream from the whole emu hatching mainly because at some point he’d have to pee

He got a new houseplant that should yield some nice blue flowers which was named Lawrence

Daddy

They’ve been doing lots of filming lately

He’s filming a new AmazingPhil video tomorrow

Their latest sims video is one of his favorites

He loved The OA

He’s also loving Steven Universe

“I’ve been having good vibes recently. It’s been good.”

He doesn’t like pineapple on pizza #unstanned (but maybe he’ll try it again)

When they went to San Francisco they couldn’t find the sea lions so he had to ask something 

Teacher chat

“I am a stupid head” in German 

He really liked art and geography classes 

He always had to play goal when they played football at school it was awful

He wouldn’t clone himself one Phil is enough and he would probably really annoy himself

“Do you think I would be as annoying as I am to Dan when I eat all of his cereal”

The wife rumor is #real her name is Janice (from the shop) and she’s holding the laptop and she wants a divorce

“Stop laughing at my life’s voice”

“Wait who’s Sabrina”

He named someone’s rock Rocky

They will be attending Vidcon Anaheim 

Lots of exciting things will happen in 2017, but it’ll be chill

Goodbye via plant

“It’s like you’re waiting for a tiger to emerge during a nature show but it never ever will”

Mentions of Dan: ||||| ||||| 

iskrowrioutha  asked:

Omg I thought I was alone on the Arabian horse thing I HATE HOW MALFORMED THEY LOOK. They're like the pugs of the horse world and as someone who actually OWNS a horse and had ridden for years it makes me really sad. Arabians are also super prone to anxiety and stress and something tells me Bad Genetics have something to do with that too 8(

YES YES YES exactly. They are the extreme/exotic/overinterferedwith breed of the horse world. It’s literally too much. I can’t even LOOK at them without feeling how nervy they are, like they literally bug me just to see them because they EXUDE anxiety with that facial expression.

And the FUCKING NOSE.

But everyone thinks they are the Mercedes of the horse world and will protect those ugly horse-swans to the death. They need to fucking quit breeding them like that. Thanks to following @craigslisthorses I’ve seen some nice, normal looking Arabians so I don’t hate all of them anymore but ugh.

They look like fucked up fetal horses that grew an adult body and they are horrible.