I have to tell you something - Jeff Atkins
Request: If you are comfortable with this can you do an imagine
where Bryce rapes the reader and Jeff (her boyfriend) wasn’t there to save her
and he beats himself up for it? 💙If not I understand
A/N: Before you start reading this I would like to say please don’t be too hard on me, I tried to put all my emotions into this and tried to give you a story as good as possible. I really cried writing this. Sorry if it’s not what you expected or wanted but I couldn’t do better.
Word count: 1468
All you wanted was to take a nap because you couldn’t walk straight anymore. Just a nap. But now you were sitting in the corner of the dark room where you became someone else, you became a victim. You were numb, you couldn’t even cry. You knew you were drunk but you experienced every single second of it. You started to question yourself. Did you say no enough? Did you send some wrong signals? But you couldn’t find an answer, this was not your fault. You didn’t deserve this. Why did you drink so much, otherwise you could have fought back. You were staring at the bed. The sheets were wrinkled because of the movements he made on you. You felt disgusted and dirty with the thought that there was still something left of him on you. You missed Jeff, all you wanted right now was for him to take you in his arms and let you cry as long as you needed without asking questions.
With all your power you got up and started to stumble down, your shoes in your hands. Without getting noticed you walked out the door and went straight home where you showered for 2 hours and scrubbed your body multiple times. But the feeling of dirt didn’t go away.
It’s been two weeks since the party. You were still numbed and not ready to go to school. All day you lay on your bed staring at the ceiling, replaying what happened that night over and over again. As much as you wanted to tell your parents or tell Jeff, you couldn’t. They would look at you differently. You kept faking a headache but you were sure your parents knew something more was going on. Jeff past by a couple times, he brought ice cream to make you feel better but you weren’t hungry. All you did was cry in his arms when he came. He was really concerned about you so after the first two times you cried your eyes out without saying 5 words he started to come daily, just to be there for you. He also texted you every morning letting you know he loved you and he would always be there for you. You weren’t able to talk so when he came over he always talked about what happened at school to keep you updated. You knew he tried to take your mind of whatever you were going through not knowing he dropped the name of the person who made you like this, your rapist, a couple times. Jeff was a really good guy, he always took care of you and he didn’t push you or ran away when you were at your lowest. But you were scared for his reaction. You were scared he wouldn’t believe you and leave you or something like that.
Another week went by and Jeff was cuddling with you on your bed. This was the first time since he started to visit daily that you weren’t crying. You decided a couple days ago you were going to tell Jeff what happened and since you were so calm right now you thought this would be a good time.
“Jeff..” you said whit a shivering voice. Jeff shook up because it had been 3 weeks since you let a word out. He knew that something was coming, what he didn’t know is how wrecked he was going to be after.
“Yes baby, what’s up?”
“I have to tell you something..” and with that you replayed the scene once again but this time out loud what made it even harder.
“.. and that’s why I’ve been like this.”
Jeff’s eyes started to fill with tears while he takes you in his arms and holds you thight.
“I’m so sorry y/n, I should have been there for you. I should have protected you.” Jeff said while tears were streaming down his face. You could see he was blaming himself for all this.
“No no no Jeff this is not your fault, the only one to blame is Bryce himself.” This was the first time you called him by his name, not ‘him’ or ‘somebody’.
Jeff looked up. “Bryce?”
You felt a lump in your throat. You regretted telling this already. You saw Jeff clenching his fist. He stood up and started to pace up and down your room.
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” Jeff asked
You just looked at him with your red puffy eyes. Your shoulders hanging to the floor. You regretted telling him already. Jeff always wanted to protect you no matter what and in his mind he failed the moment he left the party before you.
I failed, y/n is the one person I care about the most and I let her down. How could I be so stupid to leave her at the party while I saw she was drunk. I should’ve stayed I should have taken her home. How could I be so stupid. I’ll never forgive myself for this. Y/N is the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. The only thing I can do to make this right is never let her down again. I just can’t let her down another time.
*3 weeks later ( back y/n pov)
Since you told Jeff you started to feel better again. Jeff took you to your secret spot and talked with you for hours about how much you were worth and how beautiful you were. He did everything to make you feel happy again. You even smiled again sometimes. The first time you smiled again Jeff almost started to cry. He saw the old you was slowly coming back and he couldn’t help but get emotional about is. What on planet earth made you deserve someone like Jeff you asked yourself multiple times. You never thought someone could love you so much, you never thought you could be loved like that.
It was a Friday evening and Jeff went to a party to celebrate their win with the baseball team. He asked you 10 times if it was okay but you wouldn’t want to make Jeff a prisoner so you said he had to go. The only thing you asked him was to stay calm around Bryce, again. You asked him every day, you knew it was hard for him but the last thing you wanted was for the school to starts rumours or to find out about what happened. Every day when Jeff came to your house he asked you again why he should stay calm. All he wanted was to punch Bryce but he held it inside, just for you.
You were watching a movie when suddenly your phone rang. It was an unknown number.
“y/n? it’s Justin I got your number from Jess, you have to come and pick up Jeff right now, he drank too much and went crazy on Bryce. Come please? Bryce already went home so I think he’s calm but just come please.”
“What? Now? Where is it?”
“At Mont’s place.”
You put on some pants and ran to your car. Even tho you wouldn’t want to face Bryce, you had to make sure Jeff was safe. You arrived at Montgomery’s place and ran to the backyard immediately. You saw you boyfriend hanging in a chair. His fists were bleeding. You walked up to him a kneeled down in front of him.
“y/n? You’re here? Why?”
“Justin called me I had to pick you up, he said you went crazy on Bryce?”
“He deserved it, I really tried to stay calm babe really but he came up to me and started to make some sick jokes about how fit you were. I couldn’t help it anymore. Please don’t be mad I just..”
“I’m not mad Jeff, I just want you to be safe. Let’s talk about it tomorrow I think you you could use some sleep” You said while standing up and giving Jeff a shoulder to lean on.
While stumbling to the car Jeff suddenly says:
“We’ll get through this y/n, I promise.” And for the first time you believed his words. With Jeff by your side you really believed you had a chance to get through this.
Let me know what you think and thanks for reading xxx