puff puff i smoke it all

Witchy Items for Your Altar

I share a very small room with my sister, and obviously don’t have much room for an altar. I use most of my space for my Hellenic shrines and altar. I keep my witchy stuff on my shared bedside table. Here is what I use, and how I store/display it. This is element based, but you can use it however you like.  

North (Earth)

  • Small Himalayan Rock Salt Lamp - This is a tool I use all the time. It detoxifies my room, and cleanses the space. I feel so much more at ease with it on, like it’s washing everything away!
  • Crystals - You might want to move these or switch them out depending on what spell you’re doing, as all energy contributes to the working, but while you’re in your room, or even while you’re away, you can leave these here to represent Earth. 
  • Salt - Little packets of salt work, or you can place a bowl with some salt in it on your altar. I use my rock salt lamp. 
  • Dirt - A literal baby jar of dirt works, or you can put a plant on your altar if it’s by a window. I have a succulent!
  • Earth Imagery - A mini globe would be pretty cool! Or even a little eraser or what not. Having an actual picture of the Earth would be amazing, especially if the clouds were visible, and maybe if it had the sun in the background. Then it could be all encompassing of the elements.
  • Herbs, Flowers, Plants, etc -  As with the crystals, you may want to change these out or put them away during spells, or switch them out. However, they would look really cool as you went with the seasons!
  •  Fossils - I think fossils are awesome Earth representations. They have been in the ground for a very long time! I used to have some really cool fossils I used to represent Earth on my altar.
  • Tree Slice - Have you ever seen those little wooden slices that come from a tree stump? The ones that definitely had huge roots? Those would be perfect to represent Earth! 

South (Fire)

  • Birthday Candles/Tea Lights - You can colour code! These are great for short workings, or even to call the elements. To make these stand up, place them in a bit of clay and let it harden. 
  • Matches -  Double whammy here-  light your candles and have a representation!
  • Ash - I used to have volcanic ash, which was perfect. It got spilled, but for the while that I had it, it was awesome. Collect ash from incense, a fire, etc, and use it (just wait for it to cool!!!)
  • Charcoal - I always thought charcoal looked kinda witchy. I think a dish of it would make a good rep.
  •  Charred Wood - If you have a bonfire, or just so happen to light a piece of wood on fire, you could let it cool and use it for your altar. 
  • Lamp - If you have a secret altar, a little lamp could be an inconspicuous representation for fire, as it does produce light and heat. 
  • Lantern - You can buy super cute mini lanterns at the Dollar Store. I love them, but haven’t gotten one yet. I think they would be fun to use for Fire.  

West (Water) 

  • Glass of Water - You can use whatever type of water you’d like; moon water, rose water, purified water, gem elixir; take your pick!  Just make sure it doesn’t get moldy and stay moldy. Change it out each day/week. 
  • Sea Shells - You can get these in super small sizes! Or, you can get them big and bulky. 
  • Sea Glass - These little stone-like fragments are so pretty! They look just like crystals, and can be found on the beach or in the store!
  • Sea Salt -  Sea Salt could work to represent Water, especially if you pour it into a seashell or add in sea glass to it. It could be like a little potpourri of water related objects!
  • Rain Cloud - You can create clouds out of things like stuffing for toys, cotton balls, and sometimes led lights. It could be a fun project, or you can buy one of them off of etsy.  
  • Mermaid Image - I have a mermaid book mark made of metal, and it sits with my other water-related objects. I feel like it adds that feel of majesty to my water representation. 
  • Drift Wood - This is so pretty! The pieces are smooth, have a fun shape, and definitely capture the essence of water!
  • Sand - If you go to a beach, collect some sand, and place it somewhere on your altar! Be sure to put it in a bowl, though, because it is hard to clean up. 
  • Sea Weed - You can hang this somewhere, or put it directly on your altar. Either way, it looks great.
  • Coral - If you find some coral, you can place it on your altar. It looks so neat!
  • Starfishes/Sand Dollars/etc. - These are a little harder to find on the beach, but if you do, place them on your altar. 

East (Air)

  • Wind Chimes - These add a little decoration to your altar, as well as give you an air representaiton. You can even listen for the tinkling of bells to see if any fae are around!
  • Bells - If you ring a bell, it disperses stagnant energy, and helps to cleanse a space. Having one on your altar is a great way to keep it fresh!
  • Feathers - This is a pretty obvious one, an oldie but a goodie. If you have some feathers, you can use them, but make sure there are no laws against collecting them in your area. Alternatively, you can use fake ones from a craft store. 
  • Empty Glass or Bottle - Air is all around us. Use that to your advantage! 
  • Dandelion Puff - This is what I immediately think of when I picture the wind. You can collect some puffs and put them in a glass. 
  • Bird’s Nest (fake) - You can buy or make a fake bird’s nest. They look pretty real, and have this awesome rustic naturey vibe to them!
  • Leaves - They were once high in the sky! Collect them during the fal season or after a storm. 
  • Incense - Another well-known one. You can burn this and use the smoke. 
  • Tornado Making Jar - You know those little jars that you can shake up, and they make a tornado? Those would be a fun water-air duo!


  • Small Jewelry Box - This can store crystals, herbs, essential oils, etc. I use to use mine to cleanse my crystals becuase it played music!
  • Multi Colour Light-Up Candle - I found mine at Five Below! It lights up in tons of different colours, but is pretty large. However, it takes up a lot less room than a bunch of different coloured candles.
  • Your Wand - Having your wand on your altar makes it a sacred, special tool. It will be charged by the witchy items you have there, and will feel natural inn the environment. 
  • A Mini Besom or Real Besom (Broom) - I use a paintbrush as a mini besom, as I can’t have real one. However, it would be nice if I did, and I’d keep it near my altar!
  • Your Grimoire/Spellbook/BOS/etc - If you aren’t hiding it, you could keep it on your altar! 
  • A  Fire-Safe Dish or Cauldron - If you water scry, burn things, or just like to include your cauldron in your spells, you can keep it on your altar. 
  • Incense Tray - Incense can’t be burned without somewhere to place it. Keep your incense holder handy!
  • Altar Cloth - This ties everything together! It can be switched out for sabbats/festivals/seasons/spells. 
  • Chalice - I’m not Wiccan, but I use the chalice in my workings every once in a while, usually for water-related magic. You can get these beautiful metal ones at antique stores, or regular old wine glasses at the dollar store!
  • Mortar and Pestle - For practical use and an awesome vibe! You can keep this near your herbs.
  • Coloured/Enchanted Salts - They display beautifully,and are really good to have on hand.  
  • Spirit Vessels - These can go in their own little corner if you like. They could also be the center of your altar, especially if you work mainly with spirits.  
  • Tarot/Other Cartomancy Cards - Find a nook for your cards to be kept safe and clean. They will be charged by the other objects all around it, which makes it an awesome idea to have on your altar. 
  • Scrying Mirror - Make this the main attraction, or perhaps just a piece of the puzzle. If you have an ornate mirror, it could be a very drawing part of your altar! 
  • Crystal Ball - Like the scrying mirror, it could be a background piece or the focal point. 
  • Runes - If you cast runes, you can keep your bag or box of them on or near your altar. 
  • Other Divination Tools - You cans store these, or just la them throughout your altar. Whatever you choose, having your tools close by will be awesome! 
  • Twig Shapes - You can make sigils out of twigs and hot glue! Add a ribbon or piece of twin in the shape of a loop, and you can hang them above your altar as decoration and as a little energy booster!
  • Circle (Embroidery Hoop) - I know most people use salt to cast circles, but I actually use an embroidery hoop. I cast one around myself, and one around the items I am working with (ex: what’s in the hoop).
  • Knife - If you use a ritual or practical knife in your workings, it’s good to have on hand. I can’t have one, but I like my wand better anyway, personally. 
  • Fae Garden - You’ll have to have plenty of sunlight near your altar for this one, but it will definitely be fun to have some Fae living on your altar!
  • Spell Supplies - Random bits and bobs, like egshells and ribbons, can be kept on your altar as well. 
Quiet Lover

(Pretty long Fanfic,, 1617 words)

Game night, the best night of the week for these two besties. And no, not football or something like that. Every Saturday, Jeremy races to Michael’s house and have the night of their lives together. Video games, junk food, smoking weed, everything the two bond best together with. They’ve been keeping this a weekly tradition for the past 4 years, and along the time they have spent, Jeremy has grown weak for the Filipino guy. The look of excitement in Michael’s eyes when seeing Jeremy in his doorway makes Jeremy’s heart flutter. Michael is, with no doubt in his mind, the one Jeremy couldn’t live without. And that’s why he could never express his feelings. Though he knows Michael is a flamming homosexual, he’s never shown any signs of romantic attraction to him or if he did, Jeremy was completely oblivious.

Tonight was they’re game night but Jeremy decided to go the extra mile to show he cared by buying a few little gifts with the help of Jake and his very mature looks. Taking a deep breath with the bags in hand, he knocked at Michael’s front door.
His heart raced a bit faster than usual and his palms grew moist. The door quickly swung open and before Jeremy could react, a shorter body slammed into him with a tight grip around him. Looking down at the one who glomped him, he sees the widest smile on Michael’s face with a small scent of pot in the air. “Heh.. Starting without me, huh Mr. Smokey?” Michael giggled at the nickname and released the taller male. “Yeah, you were later than usual, dude! You know how easily I get antsy!” Then Michael noticed the many bags in Jeremy’s hands, making him raise a brow. “What’s all this?” Jeremy, somewhat sheepishly responded. “These?? W-Well uh.. I just thought I’d pick up some stuff for tonight. Snacks, soda, and I got ya a little gift too..” He couldn’t help but blush as Michael’s eyes practically had stars glimmering in them. “R-Really?! Dude, you didn’t have too! Let’s go downstairs and unload our munchies and stuff!” The excited, bouncy young male dragged along Jeremy as they headed into the basement, which Michael basically lives in.

Everything was already set up. Beanbag chairs in front of the TV, some chips and mountain dew on the coffee table, and a big blanket fort with a mattress inside for them to sleep together on. And not to mention a few joints beside the food. Michael plopped onto his red beanbag chair and looked up to Jeremy to sat down in the blue one, placing the bags in between them. “So, why did you get me something? My birthday isn’t for a few more months.” He grinned over to Jeremy, trying to calm his excitement. “Well.. You’re always doing shit for me and just being there for me-.. Even though I hurt you.. But I wanted to show in some way that I care, y-ya know?” He rummaged through one bag and pulled a box out from the bottom. “That is the mooshiest, most dorky thing you’ve ever said to me.” The comment made Jeremy blush as he handed him the box. Thrilled to have the box in his hands, he quickly opened it up, tossing the lid across the room absentmindedly and his eyes quickly lit up when seeing a Bob Marley t-shirt and a bowl with little weed designs on it.

Setting it aside carefully, he practically tackled Jeremy and held him tightly. A bit too tight. Air is lovely to have and Jeremy lacked it. “Holy fuckin shit dude!!! Ahh!! I love it!!” Michael ecstatically nuzzled Jeremy, making Jeremy go red as ever as he hugged back as well as he could. “I-I’m glad you like it- but I need air dude-..!” He let out a weak laugh before taking in deep breaths on his release. “Sorry, I just- Ah!!” He couldn’t stop smiling and giggling. Grabbing the t-shirt, Michael strips himself of his huge red sweater and undershirt. Jeremy averted his eyes for a brief moment but couldn’t help but stare at Michael’s body. He’s never actually gotten to see it before or at least this bare. Michael then slipped on the shirt and looked down at himself and then Jeremy. “It’s so baggy- I love it!!” Words couldn’t describe how seeing Michael so happy made him feel. He ended up somewhat spacing out while looking at those big brown eyes of his. After a few moments, he snaps back into reality as a hand waved in front of his face. “Jeremy, you in there buddy?” Jeremy ruffled his own hair a bit and smiled. “Yeah sorry, kinda.. Zoned out for a bit.. I-I’m really glad you like it, Michael.” Michael sat back in his beanbag chair with a happy sigh. “You’re great, dude. Wanna get stoned and play video games?” He picked up his new bowl, still in shock how Jeremy managed to get. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

The pale boy had did some research on bowls and bongs in the past and how they give a better, smoother hit than joints. Now will he not smoke a joint if offered? No, weed is weed is weed. Michael dug under his beanbag chair and pulled out a small nug of weed. “This isn’t a lot of weed to do it puff puff pass style sooo.. Wanna try shotgunning?” “Shotgunning??” Jeremy raised an eyebrow, having heard the phrase but never asked about it. “Basically, I take a hit from the bowl and instead of just blowing into the air, I blow into your mouth and you get a hit as well.” Wait, into Jeremy’s mouth,, meaning.. They are gonna get all up close and personal?? Jeremy nodded despite his mind making him flustered at the thought. As Michael was packing up the bowl, Jeremy was trying to make himself calmed and relaxed. He didn’t wanna fuck up and make this all awkward, but knowing himself, he always finds a way to embarrass himself. First with Christine and now Michael.

“You ready dude? She’s all packed.” Michael examined Jeremy’s face for a moment. He’s so red right now.. And that sweet nervous smile on his face made it all the better. Lighting his lighter, Michael began taking his hit as Jeremy scooted a bit closer for an easier transition. Michael turned to his friend before slipping off his glasses, his own cheek having a dust of color as he leaned in, his mouth opened ever so slightly. Jeremy’s heart was pounding like when he has to do a mile jog in P.E.. He eyed at Michael’s lips as they grew closer and if he didn’t have more control, he would try having a taste of those full lips but nevertheless, he opened his own mouth and inhaled as Michael blew out the smoke. Holding in the smoke for a few moments, he blew it out softly with a small smile. He can /definitely/ feel his high growing. Michael lightly bit his lip before going back to giving Jeremy his space, a bit reluctantly. “So, how ya feeling dude?” Michael eyed his bestie and Jeremy chuckled softly. “High, but I mean.. I could go for another try. Maybe this time I can shotgun you..?” His words grew softer as his sentence ended, just wanting another chance to get that close to Michael again though as teasing as it felt.

“Oh sure, I’d never pass up a stronger high.” He passed Jeremy the bowl and lighter, turning to face him so it’d be easier. Jeremy did the same as Michael did, taking in the smoke like a pro stoner. With a small trace of hesitation, he leaned in close to Michael, both their eyes closing slightly. Jeremy got much closer than Michael did with their lips almost grazing against one another as he blow out the smoke and Michael took it in. Jeremy’s hand was gently placed on the other’s neck whist Michael’s hands rested on Jeremy’s chest, lightly griping the blueish toned sweater.

Once Michael blew out the smoke, the two didn’t dare to move as they both didn’t want to lose this moment. This utterly blissful moment. Michael’s now reddening eyes gazed into Jeremy’s bright blue eyes. “I.. I uh..” He felt as if something was holding him back from saying a word. But words weren’t gonna be able to express his feelings. Only actions. Before Michael could attempt to udder another syllable, soft lips had gently pressed onto Michael’s. On the inside he was shocked but he didn’t dare to waste another moment. With their lips pressing and moving together, Jeremy’s heart has slowed the once rapid beating, feeling better now that his desire was fulfilled. After a few minutes flew by like seconds, the two had ended up on each other with Michael laid back on the beanbag chair and Jeremy on top before they both broke the kiss panting. A weak chuckle came from Michael as he covered his wide spread grin with his hand. Jeremy pressed a small kiss on Michael’s forehead, feeling the most content then ever before.

Michael moved his hand, sighing joyfully. “I.. Wow..! And here I thought my day couldn’t get any better.” Jeremy cupped Michael’s face, thinking why he didn’t realized how amazing Michael was when he was all upset about being alone and without Christine. Things worked out for the better as Jeremy laid his head on Michael’s chest, listening to the soft rythem from his heart. The two spent the rest of the evening cuddling together on their beanbag chairs and whispered small compliments and sweet nothings to each other.

currently-imagining  asked:

Fayeee!! I'm going to the museums with one of my guy friends on Thursday and he said he might bring some weed to smoke. It'll be my first time! Any advice for a newbie? Lol. (Also I hope you're having a great evening!! 💙💙)

Awww, this sounds like such a good time! I honestly love going to the museum high.💜💨 I definitely have some words of advice for.

  • You’ll see a lot of people talk about how they didn’t get high their first time smoking weed, I can say the same for myself, and the same may happen to you. Not everyone gets high the first time they smoke weed and that’s totally okay that’s why there’s session two!
    •  This is your first time smoking weed please be patient with your body. Have your first session an hour or two before you go to the museum so you can a) see if you get high and give it the proper time to play out b) have a second session before the museum in case you didn’t get high the first time. Give it at least an hour.
  • You need to smoke it, right? Your smoking options are as follows: joint, blunt, bowl, bong, vape and another myriad of devices that probably aren’t fit for a first-timer. A joint or blunt is probably the easiest way to smoke, but rolling can be hard if you’ve never done it before, bong rips may be a bit too harsh and heavy, and so I’m recommending you go with a bowl. But ultimately this up to you and your friend if he can roll you a blunt do iitttt.
    • I’m going to assume this won’t happen but just in case please don’t smoke out of make shift bongs that include aluminum or plastic. Smoking out of an apple is fine but plastic and aluminum will hurt your lungs!
  • Take it slow. Sometimes one hit from a bowl still gets me stoned and I’m a habitual smoker, take one hit wait 20-30 minutes and take another, and then just waaiiitttt. If time passes and you’re not feeling it take two hits and have a ball.
    • Do not feel pressured into smoking more, your buddy has smoked before and knows his limits maybe he can smoke a whole bowl and be okay but that doesn’t mean you can. Take it slow - sorry I’m being a helicopter mom but seriously.
    • You can’t get too high, some bored soul on 4chan made a video of him doing all the math and you’d have to smoke 12 tons of weed in a hour to over dose. If hours pass and you’re still not high just keep smoking till you can meet me in the clouds.
  • Remember to “puff, puff, pass.” This may sound trite, but it’s important. Don’t hog the weed. Don’t give your buddy a/try to smoke a cached bowl. The term “cached” means the bowl or bong no longer has any smokable bud in it. 
  • It’s honestly kinda ballsy you’re going to be outside the first time you’re high! I know I was super paranoid my first time around so be prepared for that. Bring a stone, piece of jewelry, fidget spinner if that’s your thing, something to fiddle with and keep you calm if you start getting paranoid about cops. I swear this was me all through high school and now I’m just like stoned everywhere I go and no cop cares but hey, we all start somewhere.
    • On a side note, sometimes if I feel “too high” I get anxious. A good way to combat anxiety about being high is to have a snack and a water bottle being hydrated and shoving your face can bring you down from your high so it’s something good to combat anxiety and feel proactive about it. Also, it’s good to have munchies on hand.
  • A roll of thumb I have when smoking with men who aren’t my boyfriend is to have them hit the bowl first even if I’ve known them a while. I’ve had male friends of years try to lace that shit and knock me out. I’m sure your character judgement is great but you can never be too safe.
  • Maybe you’ve heard the nasty cottonmouth rumors floating around. Well, they’re true. Your mouth will definitely get dry, it’s okay, it happens to everyone all the time. Just drink that water I suggested you have!! And some chapstick doesn’t hurt.

.Everything’s going to feel a little weird, time may feel slow, but it’s cool just appreciate everything! Have a great time and try not to get too caught up in your thoughts. I hope you have a beautiful time and remember to smoke responsibly dear! 💖

True Outlaw

You sit in the clubhouse, looking out the window. There was one man you were waiting for. He was brunette with sun bleached hair, tall, broad, and the very reason why you were seen as a ‘clubhouse whore’. Those girls who were waiting, and waiting, hoping to be picked up by one of the Irish Brothers of Mayhem, becoming an 'Old Lady’.

Keep reading

               * ( Act ) - ( Starter Call )
                    * ( @askjazhellcat )
            ;; Let Paps hug the fluffy cat 2k17

* So…

Papyrus lets out one last smoke puff, before bending towards the snow and putting the cigarette out in it. He then keeps it in the hand, instead of just throwing it away - he’s a good smoker, him. And he’s pretty sure Sans would kill him if he finds out he dirtied Snowdin. Again.

* … first of all, welcome home.
He smiles at her, opening the door of his house and getting on a side, to let her enter.
* Don’t mind the socks here and there, I’m sure my bro will clean ‘em as soon as he gets home.

It’s not like these are your socks and YOU should clean ‘em.

* Make yourself home, buddy.

Puff of Smoke Update!

to celebrate turning nineteen, i am giving YOU something– CHAPTER EIGHT of Puff of Smoke! this chapter is focused more on other characters as we creep closer to chapter nine, which is ryan and brendon’s first “date”. this chapter takes you right up to the first moments! hope you enjoy.

love y’all xoxo


so uh… found a game breaking glitch creepy uh… ending? this is one of the weirdest glitches I’ve had. so I did a hard mode run by making the fallen humans name Frisk, went through hard mode like genocide mode, waited for a long time and did the whole phone calls where Toby steals the ingredients and her phone, until it started repeating the snoring, then went and did more genocide mode, got the whole nobody came thing, slowed down music, and the signs like the mirror (which made it even creepier when you think about it because thats Frisk saying its them that is evil). 
now here is the glitch, first time around I killed Toriel one hit, got the hard mode ending gag, then when it ended I was brought back to where I last saved. went through it again, this time I tried to talk to her first. the game said “Not worth talking to”  and then suddenly I head the puff of smoke noise and Toriel got tiny in a puff of smoke, like when you spare Tsundereplane and she gets tiny. the whole battle interface is gone, but the special Toriel Battle music continues playing. hitting buttons does nothing. I wait and nothing happens, the music loops all with Toriel staring at me with this “you know what you have done, my child” look. then my game crashed eventually.

open game again, play, back at where I last saved, this time I try to spare her, does the same exact thing except my game doesn’t crash after 5 minutes, so i have to manually quit. try again, kill her one hit, and the genocide one hit kill death and hard mode ending happens fine.
 so yea, I sort of broke the game… and got the “Toriel creepypasta-material” ending. I had previously completed true pacifist, then genocide, sold soul, then got a neutral ending, then restarted and tried this. no idea what is causing this. 
@fwugradiation you might want to look into this, I’m sure you can think of some funny ending to put in for this… or maybe the ending is just being judged eternally by Tiny Toriel (or is that supposed to represent her just being far away? kinda hard with the solid door behind her and me standing 5 steps from the door).

If I get computer recording software maybe I’ll record it. 

Stoner Rants Part I

* I appreciate people who know how to smoke
-don’t waste my weed
* If the blunt is still going, hit it
-why not finish it? We can roll again
*Always prepare food or a drink…or both
* It’s puff puff pass…not puff puff puff puff puff…you get the point
* My weed I take the first hit
- if I offer you the first hit, take it…it’s rare
* Keep rotation
- I can’t stand when the rotation is messed up
* If we’re not cool and you ask to smoke…you’re putting down $ or matching up
* If you’re smoking bowls, don’t torch all of the weed up top…hit the side. Be a friend…share a fresh hit.
* Don’t wet the blunt or joint…
-you’re not making out with it. That’s gross. No one likes a slobbery blunt.
* Don’t be a lame ass person to smoke with
-if not I should have just smoked alone
* Don’t be a pussy…no skips…get high with me
* Give me good conversation
- I need to smoke with those who have a brain
* Don’t be overly paranoid
-I want to enjoy my high
* It’s never too early or too late to smoke!
-haven’t you heard of “wake and bake” …if you’re awake bake.


Smoked salmon, cream cheese and cucumber hand pies

Smoked salmon ain’t cheap, but if you can get the off-cuts or buy a large pack, it’s actually a reasonable way of getting an extremely tasty treat, some healthy fish oils, and a good dose of protein. A £4 pack usually lasts me 6 meals worth of protein, and that ain’t bad (use the leftover salmon with pasta and cream cheese, or bread rolls/bagels with cream cheese)!

These are really easy to make, nearly no chopping, and leftovers will keep until at least the next day or two. My recipe made 4 pies (two meals on their own, or four meals if you have some carbs and veg on the side). Adjust depending on the size of your puff pastry pack.


  • Ready-rolled puff pastry (I used a 375g pack)
  • Roughly 70g smoked salmon
  • Half a cucumber
  • Half a pack of cream cheese/Philadelphia
  • (Optional) 1 egg OR some milk, to brush on top


  1. Lay your pastry out flat and cut into squares or rectangles, as many as the number of pies you want to make. Then cut those in half again so you’ll have a top and a bottom for each pie.
  2. Cut the smoked salmon into pieces and lay those on top of one half of the pastry, leaving a 1cm gap all around the edge.
  3. Cut slices of the cream cheese and place these on the smoked salmon
  4. Cut the cucumber into slices and place these on top of the cream cheese, about 3 slices per pie
  5. Lay the other half of the pastry on top, stretching if necessary, and gently press down the edges. Use a fork to seal the edges.
  6. Using a pastry brush, baste the pastry tops with a beaten egg or a small amount of milk.
  7. Cook in the oven for 15-20 minutes, until the pastry is cooked and golden brown. Leave to cool slightly before serving.

Original recipe: http://portandfin.com/smoked-salmon-cream-cheese-cucumber-hand-pies-with-fresh-dill/

Meet &greet (Omaha squad/Skate Maloley imagine) pt1

You finally got tickets for Omaha squad meet&greet. You were so happy! When you got them you screamed and your parents thought someone was killing you.

2 weeks before….

You made your best friend go to hundreds of stores so you cold find a good outfit. You didn’t want to look too slutty but you still wanted to stand put of the crowd. You finally settled black ripped jeans, black crop top and red plaid shirt. You also bought yourself a pair of black heels. Not too high but just a bit sou you wouldn’t be the smallest there.

2 days before….

You were barely listening to anyone or looking at anything, your mind was already on meet&greet.
You were imagining millions of different scenarios, but you knew they would never happen. You were too ordinary Nd you knew they wouldn’t see you.

At meet&greet…….

You were finally here! You could barely stand still from excitement. When you got there you saw there were already some girls there but you weren’t the last one.
You waited for 2 hours and when you finally could see the boys girls started to shove you back. You saw Jack Johnson and Skate looking at all the girls pushing and trying to get in front of the row. You were now last but you didn’t care. At least you’ get to meet them.

You waited for another half an hour when only 3 girls were before you.

Finally it was your turn to meet them.

First were Kenny and Sammy.

You took a deep breath and went up to them.

Sammy’s POV:

Damn finally the last girl today! And I must say this girl is hot like fire! Dayumm!

Your POV:

“Hii!” I greet them happily. Kenny hugs me first snd asked me a few questions. I took picture with him and them with Sammy and both of them together. I was talking to Sammy a bit and he followed me on Instagram and Twitter! I almost screamed! I said bye to them and went to Jack and Jack.

“Hi guys! Omg I can’t believe I can finally meet you!” Johnson hugs me first and them Gilinsky. We talk for a bit and I saw Gilinsky looking at my boobs (cuz let’s be honest, they’re mot the smallest lol). We take a lot of pictures and they both follow me. I swear this is the best day of my life.

Next I go to Skate. He is my favorite! I take a deep breath and walk up to him.

“Hi” I say and smile at him.

“Hi.” He says not looking at me but at his phone. I was a little bit disappointed.

“Umm could I get a picture?” I ask him. He finally looks up at me.
“Y-yeah” he stutters and blush.
“ I’m sorry. Of course! Anything for a beautiful lil ma like you” now I blush.
I step next to him and we take many pictures.
“Wow these are amazing! Send them to me?” He says
“Of course. On Twitter?” I ask him.
“Nahh here’s my number.” He says and writes his number. I can barely talk now.
“But give me your Twitter too so I can follow you ma” damn I blush so hard. I type my Twitter in his phone and he follows me.

“Hey I normally don’t do this but do you wanna hang out backstage?” He asks and I stood there shocked. I can’t believe he’s asking me this. I just nod.

He takes my hand and leads me backstage. There are already other boys and they whistle when Skate walks in with my hand in his. I blush and look down.

I see they have beers in their hands and that Sammy is rolling one. He trys to hide it.

“Sammy I see what your doing and it’s okay.” I laugh. He looks at me like I’m crazy.
“You don’t mind?” He asks me surprised.
“Nah why would I?”
“Damn you’re hot and you don’t mind smoking. Full package.” Sammy laughs and ai see Skate glaring at him. Skate pulls me in his lap to sit.
When Sammy rolls it up he asks me “want some?” And they all look at me waiting for my answer. I say why not and they just look at me smirking.
I take a puff and I see them looking at me.
“What?” I ask them. “Nothing, we just thought you would choke on smoke or something. You don’t look like a girl that smokes.” Johnson says.
“I don’t smoke regularly, just occasionally. But I don’t look like I do many things I do.” I say and take another puff.

We spent a few hours there just smoking and talking.
After that guys start packing up and I say bye to them. I get to Skate and he says “where do you think you’re going?” “Home?” “No babygirl our night just started.” He says, grabs my hand and leads me to his car.

Part 2? Yes/no/idk? Let me know what you think!!

              * ( Act ) - ( Starter Call )
                   * ( @care-for-a-cup-of-tea )
           ;; Goatdad needs more friends and I’LL BE HIS FRIEND!!
              Everybody should love goatdad.

* King Asgore?

The bone fingers knock at the big doors of the Ruins once again, and wait for an answer. But silence is the only response he has.
He knows Asgore is there - yet, he doesn’t talk, and he can’t understand why. It doesn’t necessarly have to be a bad reason, maybe he’s just making tea, but… the skeleton can’t but be a little worried for his (best?) friend.

* Hey, are you okay?
* Do I need to knock the door down or…?

Perhaps there is some truth to memory, that one by simply smell, can feel so much.
I had a cigarette today and stared at the sky, wondering how in the world I could attribute something so vile and unhealthy to you but I realize that you weren’t the healthiest either. Yet I can still remember is the smell of cigarettes you smoked and the taste of you was nicotine.
Every time I breath out a cloud of smoke I imagine all the times spent on your balcony, huffing and puffing and watching those clouds disappear into existence and my heart breaks open all over again.
To say I miss you is an understatement, to say I hate you is an overstatement. It’s true that smoking will never be the same and that whenever I hold a cigarette and look at the stars I think of you.
Most of all, I imagine whether or not you light one and watch the stars on that same balcony, and think of me and how each puff vanishes and along with it, a bit of us.
—  nicotine diaries. Krys Kazik.
Forrest Green Forrest Blues (Ch.2)

Pairing: Castiel x Dean (High School AU)

Words: 4k

Warnings: Not much. Smoking? Drinking? Some partying? Straight Dean… is that a warning? I don’t think so. But if you’re here for some destiel action, it’s coming, I promise.  Tiny bit of smut but its not destiel…

Notes: Whoa. I did not expect to make this chapter this long… I just was listening to Frank Ocean the whole time and I couldn’t stop typing! Thanks to @castielohcastiel and @joanne-egberp for helping me with some details!

Ch.1 Ch.3

Originally posted by destieltime

Originally posted by charliejamesnovak

“Yup. So I am stuck with the guy for the rest of the year,“ Castiel explained to Charlie.

“And you gotta pretend to be his friend and everything? What is Ms. H thinking? It’s Dean freakin’ Winchester for Christ sake… he doesn’t need much help in the friend department. I mean he’s the damn quarterback of the football team. Comes from a rich family… the whole package truthfully. Complete opposite of you to be frank.” The two friends walked down the hall lazily since they both had a free period next.

“I’m just going to take what she said with a grain of salt. I mainly just plan on tutoring the guy. And the year will be over before we know it,” shrugged Cas. He honestly didn’t really expect much from this. Maybe he’d give the guy a couple books or show him a few study tricks.

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Magcon Preference - Cute/Not-so Cute Sneezing

Cameron: You’re cuddling on the couch, interlacing and disentangling your fingers as if it were a competition. Cam looks over you, both love and lust in his eyes, and you blush. He gently cups you face and kisses you softly. His lips smooth as silk, so warm, so inviting. He licks at your lips for entrance and you allow it. He pulls away immediately and let out cutesy sneeze, like the sound a kitten makes. “God, I’ll never get over that.”

Nash: He’s electric, running all over the apartment, checking every cabinet for food. You hear him mutter something under his breath but can only make out a name, Cam. “I got it!” He yells at you, “C'mon. How could I forget? There’s food in the unpacked boxes.” This ought to be good, you think to yourself as you follow him into another room. He’s digging into the boxes like a puppy looking for a bone. He sneezes, and then sneezes again, and again. He shakes his head and continues to search inside the boxes. Exactly like a puppy. You cover your mouth to not laugh too hard, getting a questioning look you wave off.

Shawn: He’s in the middle of filming a cover. You smile at how happy he seems. How angelic. His love for music always made your heart skip a beat. He now looks over to you, intently. “Well, now I have to start all over.” You raise your eyebrows and get up, he rushes after you. He grabs a hold of your arm and spins you towards him. His body pressed to yours, moving toward the nearest wall. His hips crashing yours. Not so innocent now. He starts to trail your neck, sucking just enough at each kiss to turn you on but not leave a mark. His mouth already is on your jaw, you want him. He trails back down, teasing. Ah, ah, choo. You close your eyes in disgust and, later, open them to a blushing Shawn, staring at the floor. “You’re so adorable when you sneeze,” flinging your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

Aaron: “Get going,” You tell him before he starts the car. He holds one finger up, suggesting you stay quiet. You cross your arms and look over to his phone. As much as you’d hate to admit it, the one thing that attracts you the most about him is how caring he is towards his fans. You take out your own phone to record him. Staring at him through your screen, you see that not all of his beautiful features can be seen on camera. You stare at him in awe. How did I manage to get such a gorgeous boyfriend? Then you hit record. Three seconds have passed when he sneezes. You stop the recording, “Now that is great Snapchat story.”

Jack Johnson: You’re currently at the Meet and Greet, waiting in line. You sigh. The long line seems to be shorting quickly, which worries you. You think it must mean that you don’t get enough time to talk to the boys. As you near the table, your heart starts pounding like it wants to rip itself out of your chest. You get to the table and Jack is looking for bottle of water under the table. He takes a quick sip and then looks at you. His smile bigger than it had ever seemed in pictures. You manage to say hi without breaking down; you want to hug him, feel his warmth. You ask if he could take a picture with you and says, “Of course, that’s what we’re here for.” You’re focusing your camera and when you hit the snap button, he sneezes. His face all crinkled up in the photo. You let that slide and lean in for a hug. He nuzzles to your hair and the cameraman takes a quick picture. You mouth the word thank you and he winks at you.

Jack Gilinsky: He leads you to the top of the building. Your eyes quickly adjust to the view, the sun setting. He asks you if you’d like to sit on the edge and you shake your head. “I’d rather stay in the middle, where it’s safer and where I have less chances of falling off the building.” He shrugs and stands next to you. “Isn’t this most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” You ask not waiting for a reply. “I’ve seen better,” you turn to face him. He leans down, you lips barely centimeters apart, and he sneezes. Your eye twitches and he starts laughing, “What are you laughing at? Your sneezing sounds like your nose is giving birth to an elephant.” He gasps and continues laughing; you’re left with no other option than join him.

Hayes: You two have been out quite a few times, your thing wasn’t exclusive but it still felt special. You hadn’t even had your first kiss with him yet but you wanted to. He sits across you at the table. He laughs at something and stares at you as if he’d asked you something. “Sorry? I got distracted.” His smile fades, “I wanted to ask you something?” He’s now slightly serious. “We’ve been out quite a few times. I was wondering if you’d like to make it off- achoo.” He’s wiping his nose when you speak. “Your sneeze is so cute, I could kiss you.” As soon as the words left you mouth you regret saying them. “Well, um, why don’t you?” He rubs his neck and that’s how you know he’s nervous, which means he was quite serious about you kissing him. You just bite your lip and shrug.

Taylor: “Bae,” He’s running his hands over his new car. “Taylor, you own plenty of cars. Stop groping them; they’re just cars.” He’s gasping now; you know you’ve hit a nerve. “Just cars? And you’re just a girl.” You furrow your eyebrows at him. “And you’re just an idiot,” Your blood is boiling. “Just an idiot? I expected worse.” He’s chuckling as if you had just made a joke. “Taylor, I’m done. You act as if cars were everything in the world. Good luck finding a car to have sex with you.” You turn away from him. “Wait, no. Baby, I’m sorry. I love you, I really do. Just not as much as cars. We’ve been together for three months, maybe in time I’ll love you more.” He has that goofy smile plastered on his face. You sigh, “Look I love you, too, but I’m not going to compete with your expensive cars. That’s stupid.” He pulls you close and grabs you by the waist, “Baby, I’ll do my best to put you before the baes.” You roll your eyes at him and stares at you, waiting for your approval. As you nod, he turns around and lets out a massive sneeze. “Goodness gracious, if I had left I would’ve miss that cute sneeze.”

Jacob: “You think you’re gonna make me like you more by serenading me?” You smirk. “Oh. So you do like me; why would you use the word more if you didn’t. My serenade is working quite well.” Now he’s smirking. He looks at you from head to toe with a desire that makes you want to throw him to nearest flat surface in the apartment and do the unspeakable. “Maybe, maybe not.” Now, you’re teasing. You play with the rim of your shirt. He bites his lip and gulps. “I’m leaning more towards the maybe.” He’s flushed and you smirk. He lets out four repeatedly, short sneezes, “I sneeze when I’m nervous.” That ruined the mood, you laugh.

Matthew: “Don’t,” You already know what he was going to say. “Slaaay.” Not again. The word slay has become a prominent part of his everyday vocabulary and it drives you insane. At first you didn’t mind, even you said it frequently but it became more abundant until it made you want to slay someone. Matt says it all the time and as much as you love him, you still want to kill him every time he says it. “Honey, please, stop.” You plead. “You’re so adorable when you’re angry. Slay. You could slay all the kittens in the world with how adorable you are.” He softly sneezed like a whimper; it wasn’t even an achoo, it was more of an achee. “Slay, Matthew, slay all the adorable kittens in the world with your sneeze.”

Carter: “Dude, stop talking about Justin for a minute.” You say, “Honestly, if competing against every pretty girl wasn’t enough, I have to go against Justin Bieber. It’s not healthy.” He’s sticking his tongue out at you. “Careful, I might just bite it.” You smirk. “Maybe Justin wouldn’t threaten to bite my tongue,” he replies, “You’re such a loser. I love you.” You smile. He begins wailing his arms, “It’s stuck. The sneeze is stuck. Oh my goodness, this is so annoying.” You burst out laughing and he bursts into a sneeze, the sound of it rebounding from the walls, like a massive echo.

Sam: “Can we smoke?” He asks. “No,” You quickly answer. “Can I smoke?” You glance at him and imperceptibly nod. “Cool,” He smiles. “I should advise you of the consequences of smoking, but you must know about them. After all, every year there’s that conference on not doing drugs.” You say worriedly. You’ve been present while he smokes twice or three times so you know he doesn’t care. Once, you had seen the two Jacks so high they plummeted face first onto the concrete ground. Sam lets out a large puff of smoke, you hated to admit it but stoner him turns you on. He sneezes and a puff of smoke comes out of his nose, “Woah.” You laugh at how dumb he looks. Why did I have to fall in love with this idiot?

Dillon: “Please, stop duck facing.” He was about to talk when you continued, “I know you do it as a joke and look awfully attractive but try and smile a little.” You take his phone. “You’re lucky you have me.” You smile and he just shrugs whilst pouting. “Dork,” You say. “But I’m your dork.” He sneezes. “My cute, sneezing dork. Indeed you are.”

Mahogany: “Come on, we’re gonna be late.” You wake your best friend up early since her photo shoot’s today. She just waves you off and you drag her off the bed by her legs. “Don’t do that,” She whines.           Forty minutes later you arrive at the shoot. Mahogany gets her makeup done and her first outfit, “How exciting is this?” She was oozing happiness. “It’s great!” You smile, “C'mon, let’s get going. The photograph’s waiting.” She nods with enough enthusiasm to make her hair move and suddenly, she sneezes. “Oh my God,” You begin to laugh at her. “My makeup,” She hyperventilates. “That was one huge snotball.” You continue to laugh at her misery; I might be a bad friend.

I’m accepting preference requests…  

Nixon Noir AU Fanfic

~I place blame ENTIRELY on ladyhistory for this post.

Smoke filled the office with shadows as he stared at her. She held her clutch purse tightly against her lap, her eyes filled with anger. She was breathing sharply, her gloves becoming slightly wrinkled.

“The fact of the matter remains that you have no proof, Mr. Nixon.”

He inhaled the cigar again, never taking his eyes off her. “Quite the contray, Mrs. Kennedy.”

She laughed then, rough and shrill. “You can’t be serious. You? Of all people. My husband has evaded you for all this time, and you think him stupid enough to slip up now.”

Nixon only stared. He blew a puff of the cigar at her. The puff of smoke caused her to real back into her seat, forcing her out of her carefully coregraphed posistion.

“Mr. Nixon, if you please!”

“I’ve never forgiven your husband for what he did to me.” Nixon growled. “He’s evaded me for so long. I’ve lost so much. Time, money, credibility. Oh Mrs. Kennedy, the things I am going to do to him-” He stopped. He stared at the woman across from him. She was still glaring. But he noticed her hand shaking.

“But you are right, Mrs. Kennedy, your husband hasn’t been stupid enough to give himself away.”

She didn’t say anything. Slowly, he reached his hand to a drawer in his desk. He brought a long rectangular machine out of it. At the sight of it, Mrs. Kennedy went pale, but only just.

“Is this supposed to frighten me, Mr. Nixon? Fake scare tactics to slip me into saying something I shouldn’t? Please. You’ve tried that before.”

“Oh, I don’t need you to say anything Mrs. Kennedy.” Nixon said. “You’ve already told me everything I needed to hear.”

“You can’t-” A button on the machine was enough to silence her. The room filled with a crackling noise. She watched as the tape moved forward, and a voice, her voice, filled the room. And she talked. 

Nixon leaned back in his chair, never breaking eye contact with her. Mrs. Kennedy shook violently. She couldn’t move. She could only watch as her voice told everything. The murders, the money, the set-ups. The schemes.

“I would like to know where your husband has holed himself up in Texas now, ma'am” He said, after a time. At his words, she jolted in surprised. Her face, normally a perfect mask, was covered in tears.

“You… you can’t think you can possibly get away with this!” She screeched. “This… these are private conversations. This can’t possibly be legal.”

“Neither are the actions performed by your husband.”

“But this is immoral! How could you possibly think that this was the proper procedure! I could sue you!”

“For what? Tracing down a known criminal by attempting to stop future crimes?”

“For illegally tapping into my private line!”

Nixon laughed. His jowls bounced up and down as he threw his head back. Mrs. Kennedy only stared at him. “The thing is, Mrs. Kennedy, there isn’t anything you can do. In a court of law, who are they going to believe? Whose actions are justified?”

Mrs. Kennedy opened her mouth to reply, then thought better of it. Mr. Nixon knew. At last he had won.

“Never forget one important fact, Mrs. Kennedy.” He breathed.

I am not a crook”

when will you go

Hannah writes poetry and Grace watches her work and Hannah might like Grace a little bit.

Title from when will you go by the Dodos

I don’t know what really happened here and it’s too rushed and sigh sigh sigh but you know it’s finished for the time being so.

Other things I didn’t think through: hartoo.tumblr.com/fics .


It’s the light tap of her keyboard filling up the small room, the sound unfurling from its slumber and stretching, drifting until it reaches Hannah’s ears to pause and sleep again. It’s this constant back and forth, this constant waking and napping and tapping and silence of the end of one sentence and the start of another that keeps her on edge. The words that form on the page, unexpected and unarmed, but prepared and steady and she loves it, enjoys every aspect.

Grace, however, hadn’t witnessed that yet, so, “And that’s why I’m not allowed in the Knitting Club again.”

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A/N: k so this is one of my favourite songs right now and I really dig punk 5sos so this kinda just happened. Hope you like it <3


“18, crazy, pulled up in your daddy’s car you wanna move in with me. Guess we’re off to a heavy start”

You pulled up to Ashton’s house with your dads maroon BMW. You honked the horn once to let Ash know that you were outside before stepping out of the car, in you black combat boots, suitcase being tugged behind you.

You were halfway up the steps when Ashton swung the door open, his ever present easy smile on his face.

“Hey babe! Wait, what’s with the-” you cute him odd with a deep kiss and his hand came up to cup your face.

“Ash, dad kicked me out and I was wondering if I could stay here for a while?” You asked, smiling sweetly and batting your eyelashes up at him. He knew you just wanted to make your father even more angry with you, but he couldn’t resist the way your lips felt against his skin and the way your body felt pressed against his.

He dropped his right eye in a wink and gave you the cheesiest smile he could muster.

“Sure thing babe, I think I have a welcoming gift for you…” He said slyly, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into the house.


“So if you wanna piss of your parents, date me to scare them, show them you’re all grown up.”

Your mother had you pegged as “the good girl” ever since you were born. She bought you every pink, frilly, outfit she could find and put as many bows as possible in you hair. You were an A+ student and daddy’s little girl, but then Michael came into the picture. He’d had his eyes on you since freshmen year, you were explaining something about chemicals and he didn’t really remember much after the first word. But he remembered the way you pink lips moved and the way you fiddled with the end of your dress when you caught him staring at you.

In the beginning you were absolutely terrified of him. But soon you learned how different he was… And how much your mother wouldn’t approve.

On the first date, you snuck out your window and he ate you out in the backseat of his car.

On the second date, your mother caught him fucking you on your pink, floral bed spread with your school books and trophies lining the wall.


“And I know it’s just a phase, you’re not in love with me, but if you wanna piss off your parents baby, piss off your parents that’s all right with me.”

The door bell rung twice and our mother opened it, expecting to see the milk man. She was dry disappointed when she came face to face with Luke, the name of her existence and your boyfriend.

“Y/N! The good for nothing pink is here for you!” She yelled up stairs, and Luke chuckled behind her. You rushed down and your mothers eyes widened to the side of large pancakes.

“Y/L Y/L/N! What in gods good name are you wearing?!” She screeched.

“Looking good, babe.” Luke said from the doorway he was leaning against, red scanning you up and down and lip ring tugged between his teeth. You bit your lip at him and winked, feeling quite proud of your choice of short black dress and black studded pumps.

“You are grounded!” You mother screamed from the door.

“I’m 18, you don’t own me any more!” You called back, not even turning to look at her as you and Luke walked to his car.

“You know, pretty soon you’re gonna grow out of this phase and turn back into daddy’s little princess.” He said, revving up the engine of the car just to piss your mom off even more.

“As if!” You scoffed and he shook his head, smile still on his face as you drove off.


“I drink, I smoke, you ate it up from the very start.”

Yet another party, yet another night you were sneaking out, wearing a dress your parents would faint at the sight of seeing.

You were currently grinding with your boyfriend that your parents would also pass out at the sigh off, tattoos and piercings being the “scariest” thing ever.

Calum had one hand on your body, gripping at any and every part, and his other hand holding a cigarette. He was leaving hickeys on every part of expose skin he could reach and talking a drag in between kisses.

“Cal? Can I have some?” You asked, twisting our body to look at him as he took a long drag and blew it in a big puff.

“I don’t know, princess, you might not be able to handle it.” He leaning down and nipping at your earlobe. You shivered and he chuckled darkly at your reaction.

“Can I please just have a bit?” You asked, pressing back into him and causing him to groan softly, fingers digging into your hips and you smirked triumphantly.

“Damn, I have corrupted you.” He grunted, pressing into you, desperate for more friction. With him distracted, you grabbed the cigarette from him and took a long drag, not coughing or flinching at all as you blew a puff of smoke into his face. His jaw dropped as he watched you and his eyes wandered your body.

“Fuck, that is so hot.” He said, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the bathrooms on the opposite side of the club.