honestly there are two kinds of people who make history posts on this blue hellsite, and they’re all either
“LISTEN HERE MOTHERFUCKERS LET ME LEARN YOU A THING ABT THE MOST BADASS HUMAN THAT GRACED THIS PATHETIC EARTH WITH THEIR PRESENCE AND WHOM EVERYONE SHOULD ADMIRE BC THEY ARE THE BEST AND MOST HEROIC PERSON TO WHOM WE AS A SOCIETY ARE ETERNALLY INDEBTED: john jay.”
“okay so unlike you basic bitches who can’t read, i’ve been doing some actual research so guess what? i, a 20-something in my first year of college, am now the only and leading expert on my chosen topic. yall better listen to me bc i’m right and you’re wrong, you uneducated babies. my interpretation of the source material is now absolute truth and yours is stupid and yall should be happy that i’m even telling you this, you worthless slime people, so fuck off. i despise my audience”
It’s defined as a lack of sexual attraction, with the exception of where strong emotional bonds are present, or only experiencing sexual attraction once a strong emotional bond has been formed.
But apparently this is a really difficult concept for some people to wrap their head around, and lots of different arguments are made about how it’s “not a thing”…
“Demisexual isn’t a thing! Where’s the science? Where’s the psychological research? It’s just something tumblr made up!”
I hate to break it to you, but things exist, whether a scientist has validated them or not. Up until the 80s there was legitimate scientific research done by highly esteemed scientists which suggested homosexuality was a mental illness and unnatural and damaging to individuals and society. That was a scientific fact of the time. So was that the truth then?
If you think that the bias of science is a thing of the past, you’re either incredibly naive or just plain ignorant. Science is not some all-seeing, constantly objective force in society. It is influenced by and used to justify sexism, racism, ableism and multiple other forms of oppression. So I literally couldn’t care less if no scientist has a written a paper titled “Science now says Demisexuality is indeed A THING.” Queer and transgender identities have existed for as long as people have, but they’ve only very recently been ‘validated’ by science. Do you think that queer and trans people suddenly popped up into existence as soon as the first scientific paper in support of them was published? Of course not. Do you see where I’m going with this?
A group of people discovered they had a shared experience with their lack of sexual attraction and the way they experience it. So they put a name to it and told other people about it. Now it’s clear that a multitude of people experience the same thing, and were grateful to find that there was a word for their experiences, and they weren’t weird or broken.
“Everyone is basically demisexual because most people won’t sleep with someone unless they’re emotionally attached to them.”
No, what you’re taking about is how most people wait until an emotional bond is formed to act upon already existing attraction. Most people, for reasons ranging from religious, to cultural to simply personal preference, would not have sex with strangers and/or would only engage with somebody sexually after they’ve got to know them or got close to them (for a lot of people, that means forming a romantic bond). But that doesn’t make them demisexual. If everybody was demisexual, one night stands, porn, sexual advertising and hypersexualisation/objectification wouldn’t really exist.
If you’re still struggling with it, imagine them as asexual, until occasionally, after they’ve fallen in love or got close to someone they might start to experience sexual attraction. People who are demisexual do not experience sexual attraction. Zip, zilch, nada. The only exception to that would be some occasions when they’ve formed an attachment to somebody - maybe they’ve become close friends, or maybe they’ve fallen in love. And it doesn’t mean that everyone you form emotional bonds with you become sexually attracted to either; just like allosexual people aren’t attracted to everyone in the world, it’s just as hit and miss with demisexuals. Once an emotional bond is formed - that is when the possibility for sexual attraction opens up.
Some demisexuals might only ever experience sexual attraction once, with one person they’d formed an emotional bond with. Others might experience sexual attraction with almost everyone they’ve become romantically attached to. They’re a very diverse bunch of people.
“Demisexuals” are just special snowflakes! They just want to feel special / they’re not oppressed / they’re not queer.
I’m getting really tired of this “special snowflake” bullshit, particularly being aimed at the asexual spectrum community. I have been a part of this community for about a year, and have been on tumblr, still sharing and seeing posts about the asexual spectrum before I realised I was asexual for almost 3 years now. In all of that time, I have never come across people using lesser known acespectrum identities, like demisexuality, to get people to feel sorry for them or to claim they’re being so oppressed. The overwhelming majority of people respond to finding a word that accurately describes their sexuality and experiences is ‘omg I’m not a freak, there’s actually a word for me!’
i joined the club and it’s all on there are fights for being my best friend and the girls get their claws out there’s something about hanging out with the wicked kids
esfj - ribs
you’re the only friend i need sharing beds like little kids and laughing ‘til our ribs get tough but that will never be enough
intp - magnets
uh-oh, dancin’ past the point of no return let go, we can free ourselves of all we’ve learned i love this secret language that we’re speaking say it to me, let’s embrace the point of no return
entp - tennis court
don’t you think that it’s boring how people talk making smart with their words again, well i’m bored because i’m doing this for the thrill of it, killin’ it never not chasing a million things i want
isfp - bravado
i was frightened of every little thing that i thought was out to get me down to trip me up and laugh at me but i learnt not to want the quiet of the room with no one around to find me out
esfp - no better
i’ll pull the trick if i want to i’ll pull the trick and it comes true i’m chewing gum and it’s killing you we’re getting dead and it’s the right way to do it
intj - royals
my friends and i—we’ve cracked the code we count our dollars on the train to the party and everyone who knows us knows that we’re fine with this, we didn’t come from money
entj - million dollar bills
we can leave the house lead the party let the people know go drown the colors of our minds and watch the cars go it’s not about just being out with all our people ‘cause we can get in trouble just by going free throw and now i’m letting you know
infj - 400 lux
i love these roads where the houses don’t change where we can talk like there’s something to say i’m glad that we stopped kissing the tar on the highway we move in the tree streets i’d like it if you stayed
enfj - team
we live in cities you’ll never see on screen not very pretty, but we sure know how to run things living in ruins of a palace within my dreams and you know, we’re on each other’s team
istp - glory and gore
delicate in every way but one (the swordplay) god knows we like archaic kinds of fun (the old way) chance is the only game i play with, baby we let our battles choose us
estp - yellow flicker beat
and now people talk to me, i’m slipping out of reach now people talk to me and all their faces blur but i got my fingers laced together and i made a little prison and i’m locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me
infp - a world alone
all my fake friends and all of their noise, complain about work they’re studying business, i study the floor and you haven’t stopped smoking all night maybe the internet raised us or maybe people are jerks
enfp - buzzcut season
the men up on the news they try to tell us all that we will lose but it’s so easy in this blue where everything is good
and i’ll never go home again favorite friend i live in a hologram with you
istj - still sane
all work and no play never made me lose it all business all day keeps me up a level all work and no play keeps me on the new shit, yeah
estj - white teeth teens
if you want we’ll help tonight to split its seams give the bruises out like gifts you’ll get the picture of your dreams i won’t be smiling but the notes from my admirers fill the dashboard just the same