pstd

6

Now, don’t you worry about my strength. I have plenty.

  • brain: you know that terrible thing that happened a long time ago?
  • me: Of course, wow, that was years ago
  • brain: I'd like to think about it
  • me: why?
  • brain: because it's time to suffer!
  • me: NO...NO....I don't want to...
  • brain: too late :)
  • me: *spends hours reliving a terrible experience and crying*
  • hours later...~
  • brain: Okay, we're done! Now let's dissociate and make some poor choices that you're going to regret!
vine

v letting a fan touch his cheek, damn lucky. how to not die a little inside?

YET MORE DOODLES of Bucky and his PTSD service dog FUBAR because I fucking LOVE THIS HEADCANON LIKE IT IS HONESTLY MY FAVORITE HEADCANON I’VE EVER HAD AND I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

Top Left and Right: Sometimes Buck gets bored with his usual workout routine so he’ll do something fun and “low-impact” like one-armed pushups with his 260 lb service doggo on his back! FUBAR is fucking thrilled

Center Left: FUBAR accompanies Buck on a super cute date with Steve! Honestly one of my absolute favorite things about service dogs is their ability to blend into their surroundings, regardless of their size. (In lots of cases they’re always with their humans, so I bet it’s a super essential skill in service dogs. I’ve known people who have huge service dogs that just faded into the woodwork while maintaining constant vigilance! It’s really cool! They’re freaking incredible!)

Center Right: Bucky finally gets a new bionic arm and FUBAR familiarizes himself with it by SNOOFING

Bottom Left: Bucky sometimes has rough days where his head feels Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition and needs something to hold onto to ground him to remind him that he’s safe and doesn’t need to hurt anyone 

Bottom Right: Grocery shopping! FUBAR GOES THROUGH A SHIT TON OF PUPPER FOOD OBVS

3

Rain on My Sunshine

Thank you all for the kindness and encouraging words on my last post. I spent the past 3 weeks getting therapy and focusing on myself. At times I would feel like I am getting better before falling into despair again (and a stalking incident last Sunday that involved police removal did not help the healing process…), but overall, I am getting better.

Sometimes I wonder which side of the reflection I stand on. The one holding a raining umbrella when the sky is clear, or the one holding onto sunshine when it rains? Between the unfortunate things that happen in life, and my own reaction to those things, I can’t tell if I am responsible for my own unhappiness.

My therapist will be treating me for PSTD on the things that happened in my past, starting from my childhood. I’ve been reflecting a lot on my life, and incorporating the experiences into new projects. I want to understand my life through my art. 

While I haven’t been posting these past 3 weeks, I have been busy writing out the new script for a remastered version of Knite, doing new character designs, and researching new techniques to speed up the comic making process. Knite is a story that lies close to my heart. It’s heavily influenced by my childhood, and while I never got to finish the old story, I am determined to finish the new one.

I hope to continue both Knite and Fisheye Placebo at the same time. I can’t realistically draw it all by myself, so I will be making a post in a few weeks about hiring helpers. I’m not completely back yet, but I’m starting to heal, and I look forward to all the amazing things in 2016.

Thank you all again for always being here for me. I hope I can give back as much as everyone has given me.

2

i’ve been hesitating posting this but i feel as if it will make me feel a whole lot better. 

My whole entire life I’ve grown up as the stereotypical “girly girl”. Nobody really understands me, besides this man. This is a picture of my Great Grandpa Cornelius. My Pop Pop. This man is my hero. My Pop Pop was in the Army and served during WWII. I used to spend a lot of time with him and he used to tell me such amazing stories. When i was 13 he showed me the shrapnel in his shoulder that he got from an exploding tank nearby, and in that exact moment I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I knew I was going to join the military. I knew that I wanted to give back and serve my country. My Pop Pop is now 91 years old, and his health is depleting. He’s not all there mentally and suffers from PTSD. It’s sad to see him the way he is. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll have him in my life. So I cherish every second I have left with him. He’s the only one that believes in me. Whenever I talk about joining with my parents or my friends they shut me out. Nobody wants to listen and they tell me I’m stupid and throwing my life away. Well the way I see it, I’m doing the most amazing thing any person in the world could do. I just cannot wait to prove everyone wrong. 

Sorry for rambling, and this may not mean anything to anyone on here, but it means so much to me. I just really want to make him proud.

vine

omg look at this, jimin teaching jungkook to sabotage his hyung

Yang has PTSD let’s stop denying it folks and accept it because apparently a few people don’t see or get that Yang has PTSD.

I didn’t notice this the first time so I had to go back and re-watch this scene again and I will admit that one thing I found weird about this scene is how in the world does glass breaking triggered her PTSD and have her relive her event with Adam for a quick second?

Not sure what the glass got to do with her getting her arm cut out by him because the glass had nothing to do with her traumatic event and honestly I feel this may be a inconsistency.

Am I missing something here?
vine

suga being a diva.

She’s [Felicity] really grappling with this new reality that she is, in some ways, from certain points of view, responsible for the deaths of 20,000 people. How is she going to come back from that? I mean, it’s very hard. I think it will give her a new understanding of the agony and the brooding that Oliver’s gone through over the past four years.
vine

hoseok is just afraid of everything. hoseok is beaten by a single dragonfly. //crying bc this is still gold after all these time//

There’s a whole side of Felicity that she cannot show this man. She has to keep secrets. She cannot share her entire life with him.[…] For the first time, Felicity is feeling the burden Oliver has carried for years. It certainly doesn’t excuse all the times Oliver has lied, but perhaps it will give Felicity a better insight into Oliver. Everything in Felicity’s arc right now is something Oliver has experienced. She is walking in his shoes for a time. Whenever we walk in someone’s shoes it leads greater understanding, which makes us more compassionate and forgiving
— 

@jbuffyangel [Arrow 5x02 Review]

Originally posted by jhopq

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is very common after psychological & emotional abuse. And it can take months, even years to kick in. Even long after the abuse has ended, the body’s stress response remains heightened in anticipation of future threats. This ultimately leads to extreme agitation and exhaustion in the body, often resulting in insomnia, depression, anxiety, fatigue, isolation, weakness, or hopelessness.

Like your mind, the body must also go through its own healing process, and it’s often a much slower (and less logical) process. If you’re suffering from any of these issues, a licensed & compassionate therapist can make a world of difference. Be patient and kind with your body as it works hard to process and heal from the encounter.

source

What John Watson had to go through

1. War.

2. Getting shot.

3. PSTD and fruitless therapy.

4. Loneliness.

5. Losing the closest person he has ever had because of his suicide death.

6. Eye-witnessing his friend’s violent death.

7. Grief.

8. Emptiness again.

9. Shock after his “dead” and mourned friend came back to living.

10. Anger that he was the only one who didn’t know a bit about his friend’s fucking elaborate plan.

11. Abduction and life threatening adventure while being placed in a bonefire.

12. Almost losing his friend again due to a nearly (or actually) lethal shot.

13. Realizing it was his pregnant wife (and a professional killer) who have almost deliberately killed his friend and was ready to do that again.

14. Seeing his friend killed a man for him, making himself go on exile and certain death all the same.

15. Having to say goodbye to his friend, the only person he could trust, the only man that really cared for him going on a deadly mission without even possibility to express their feelings to each other.


It’s such an emotional rollercoaster, I don’t know how John even stayed sane.

vine

i shouldn’t laugh but this is life. maknae vs hyung. maknae wins. btw, thank you Lord, Merry Christmas everyone~!!