who should you fight: mystic messenger edition
MC | who wins: ??? ? ??
- she’s unpredictable; she might mom you into submission with love and affection, or she might gnaw on your arm, verbally tear you apart, and then fling somebody out a window. not worth the risk.
Yoosung | who wins: you, but you’ll feel awful about it
- he’s got good hand-eye coordination and is a master at holding grudges, but he’s all bark and no bite. go for the eyes. he’s crying now. look at what you’ve done. you monster.
Jaehee | who wins: she does, but you’ll thank her
- she’s overworked and underpaid, lives off of coffee and two hours of sleep, probably hasn’t eaten real food since 2009, and knows judo. she has nothing to lose; she’ll break your neck, and you should feel honored.
Zen | who wins: cat
- he works out, so he could most likely easily win in a fair fight. he’s old fashioned though, so if you’re a girl, it’ll just take a little flirting to get him to surrender. everyone else, carry some kittens in your pockets. easy win.
Jumin | who wins: you, but also not you
- punch him in the face. just fuckign do it. he won’t expect it, he’s never done physical labor in his life. a twelve year old could take him. zen will help. it’s worth the jail time
Saeyoung | who wins: nobody
- he doesn’t care about himself, he wants you to kick his ass. no one is having fun in this situation.
V | who wins: don’t
- leave this poor sad man alone
Rika | who wins: her, but fight her anyway
- she has a small army of cultists backing her up and she could probably claw your eyes out (too), but she’s done some shit so she needs someone to fight her
Saeran | who wins: he does
- he’s got a gun my dude.