It’s weird how people who are the least close to me or who’ve never even met me purport to be experts on the real me; and then, sadly, there are those who could be in touch with me but prefer to gossip with strangers about me instead.
People will talk , people will Hate 🙏 Now, you gonna stop leaving your Life because of them??? Cuz Im 🏃💨🔥🔥🔥 after my Goals and no one is stopping me 😉 #dedicated #provethemwrong #bodybuilding #gainz #igers #fitfam #fitlstyle #fitness #gymrat #pump #theGAINScompany #GAINSCo #weLIFT #bouldershoulders #fitnessmodel #noflexzone #commitment #successful #picoftheday #photooftheday #goals #neversettle #neversatisfied #trainer (at Dedicated 👊💥)
People will tell you you can’t do something, that you aren’t good enough, and a million other things that to you can be extremely devastating, but that leave their mouths with less thought than a cough.
Leaving you to set out to prove them wrong only to find out they weren’t really invested in your situation, and probably don’t remember or care that you have done so. I’m not saying don’t prove them wrong. I’m saying don’t prove them wrong for them…prove them wrong for you.
Another Newt Imagine! This one may be my favorite yet! There is some Newt fluff but the main point of this image was to show how strong and determined girls are and that we are equal to boys. I hope you like it.
Music: (Listen to these songs while you read if you want): Fight Song by Rachel Platten; Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance; Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance
Summary: Your the only girl and you find peace in running. It gets out out of your head and away from the fact that you can’t remember. Why not do what you love as your job? There is only one problem. Your loving boyfriend, Newt, doesn’t want you out there in the maze. And the other boys don’t believe in you. Well almost all of them.
You will show them all just how strong and determined girls can be.
Your eyes snap open as the visions of fire and burns fade away. You blink and their burnt faces flash once again into your mind.
Yet another nightmare has stollen your sleep from you and there was no way you could force your eyes shut again. You feel Newts arm’s wrapped around you holding you close to him.
This was the third nightmare this week, he was there every time holding you till you calmed down. You didn’t want to wake him again. Slowly you detangle yourself from his embrace successfully without waking him. You plant a kiss to his lips and get to work.
You pull your long hair into a quick bun and slip off Newt’s shirt you use as a nightgown. Quietly you slip on your shorts and a tank-top. Looking out the window as you tie your old worn out sneakers the moon still shone over the glade and the stars were still visible, but the sky had lightened slightly.
Probably two hours till sun rise. You estimated.
You look at sleeping Newt one last time he looks so cute his lips slightly parted and his hair sticking up in all different directions. You wished you could take a picture remember this moment of peace. You smile then tiptoe out of your little hut and start on your run.
Running was your escape. The wind on your face, your heart pumping fast, the world blurring around you as you went faster and faster, you loved it. You ran till the nightmare images that invaded your mind swam away, till the pain of not knowing faded away, till you weren’t scared anymore. Then you kept going.
Minuets turned into hours and soon the runner were up and getting ready to go. You stopped and watched them, Minho and Ben tying their special runner sneakers. They looked over at you and Ben smiled while Minho waved. You waved back then they were running off into the maze.
You sighed. You couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to be with them.
Head down you walk to the gardens.
Might as well get started on my work. You thought to yourself. Yet again you look at the entrance to the maze and can’t shake the longing to be running in there looking for your way out, of all of the gladers way out.
“Hey love! Where were you this morning?” You turn around to see Newt as he wraps his arms around you. You smile and give him a kiss.
“I couldn’t sleep so I went for a run.” You say smiling at him. He just smiles and places a long lingering kiss to your forehead.
“You still having nightmares love?” He whispers in your ear, you nod closing your eyes and wrapping your own arms around him. You place your head on his chest and listen to his heart. Newt had the most kind heart out of everyone in the glade and you loved him for it.
“I’m so sorry love. Wake me up next time ok?” He says pulling away sightly so you look at him. He looks back at you with so much love in his eyes you can’t help the blush that slowly sneaks back to your cheeks. You nod once again.
“Alright. Come on lets get to work.” He tickles your sides causing you to giggle then lets go and walks off.
All of the sudden the desire to be a runner comes back. Its like the maze was calling to you begging for you to solve it.
It wasn’t just for you, to feel good to feel in some strange way free. No, it was for him. You think back to how Newt jumped from those walls. A part of you died in a way that day, the one person you loved more then anything wanting to die. You cried that day. Newt hated seeing you cry and promised he would never be the one to cause you such pain ever again. You loved him so much. You wanted to get him out of here, you wanted your family to be safe.
“I want to be a runner.” You yell to Newt. He stops dead in his tracks and freezes his muscles clenching.
“What did you just say?” You hear him whisper His hands form into fists.
“I want to be a runner.” You repeat your voice strong and clear. Slowly he turns around to look at you.
He looks stunned, sad, but mostly angry.
Uh no. You think all the sudden not feeling confident anymore.
“if you think I’m letting you in the maze, your insane!” He yells running a hand threw his hair, something he only does when he is upset or angry.
“I…I want to run N..newt!” You say stumbling a bit.
“Over my dead body!” He shouts towering over you. You feel yourself shrink. You didn’t expect him to yell… ok you did but he has never yelled at you before… not like this.
Don’t back down You tell yourself. You stand tall once again
“You don’t understand I love it Newt! I love to run and I want to find a way out of here for you! For all of us!” You yell starting to find your voice back.
“No. I said no and thats final!” He shouts.
“YOU don’t get to chose! Minho does!” You yell back. He realizes he isn’t getting anywhere by yelling so he takes a step back and run his hands threw his hair the anger in his eyes for a moment flickers away and sadness fills them instead.
“Love don’t you like working with me in the fields? Its safer and your… your with me.” He says almost pleading you to stay.
“I love being with you, but the gardens are not my thing and I… want… to… run.” You say clearly not backing down. Newt’s eyes go dark once again and you can see anger start to rise once again.
“You want to run! Ha thats a laugh!” A voice behind you says. You turn to see Gally laughing.
“What is so funny?” You say putting your hands on your hips. “I can run just fine for your information.”
“Please. Girls can’t run. Girls aren’t as fast as boys. Besides your nothing but a weak little princess.” He says mocking you and laughing at the nickname Newt had given you. He called you his princess all the time and you found it sweet but the way Gally said it with so must spite and sarcasm in his voice made you want to punch a wall or better… his nose.
You try to speak but nothing comes out your too mad too frustrated. You turn back to Newt expecting him to stand up for you but he just looks at you then Gally and says.
“He has a point.”
Thats it you lose it.
“Who do you think you are!” You scream you walk up to him. “I’m going to be a runner just you watch!” He looks at you shocked.
You take one step back and say three words you never though you would ever say. “We are threw.”
And with that you turn and storm away shoving Gally as you past.
You will show them. You will show all of them.
You run deep into the forest ignoring the shouts form your now ex-boyfriend.
Finally once your far enough away you let the tears come. You sob loud not caring any more. You hated Newt. You hated that he didn’t believe in you, you hated that he didn’t stand up for you, that he though you were weak, you hated the fact… that you still loved him.
He was always there when you were sad or scared he loved you. He promised he would always love there and be there for you. He promised you he would never cause you to cry again yet here you were crying for the second time in the glade over a boy. This was twice now. He broke his promise and you could feel your heart breaking.
“Y/n?” You hear someone call. You ignore it not wanting to talk to anyone but then you feel someone tap your shoulder so you whip around ready to yell at the person.
“Ben what are you doing here?” You quickly wipe the tears away.
“I got back early. Are you ok? Are… are you crying?” He asks raising an eyebrow.
“What? No!” You whip the tears away and look at him.
“Aw come on. I’m not stupid. What happened?” He asks sitting on a fallen tree and patting the spot next to him. You sit next to him and take a deep breath.
“I broke up with Newt because he said I couldn’t be a runner because I’m too weak.” You say a tear running down your face.
“Stop crying.” Ben says annoyed and you looked at him shocked. He stands up and starts pacing something he only does when he is mad.
Ben and you were friends. Good friends. He treated you like a little sister always looking out for you, it was sweet.
He looks at you and sees your expression and gets even more angry.
“Stop it right now! You should be mad pissed even!” He yells. “That son of a…” He grumbles still pacing.
“Ben whats wrong with you?” You ask just confused at this point.
“Ok look. Stop with the tears if your not weak then prove it.” He snaps at you. You stop crying.
“Y/n you are like a sister to me and I hate seeing you upset but you are stronger then this. Then them. Ok here is what we are going to do. I’m going to make you a runner.” He folds his arms and you stair at him.
“Really!?” You jump up. Excitement fills your entire body.
“Hold up. I’ve seen you run. Yeah your fast but you can be faster.” Your heart sinks, “Don’t worry I’m going to train you then your going to challenge Minho to a race and show everyone what your made of!” He yells pumping his fist in the air. You can’t but laugh.
“Alright. When do we start.” You say no more tears in sight.
“Tomorrow morning. Every morning you are to run around the glade no more then an arm length away from the wall twice. That should be about a eight mile run more or less.” Your eyes widen. EIGHT MILES.
“I’ll do it.” you say not hesitating. You want this. You wan this more then anything.
“At the end of the weak. You and I will race while everyone is asleep and if you can beat me I think you may just be able to take on Min.” He places an hand on your shoulder and smiles at you.
“Come on lets head back to the glade. And smile will ya, got to show him you are strong without him ya?” You nod and smile he slings an arm around you and together you walk back to the glade.
You hold your head high your brother at your side.
You walk past Gally who smirks at you. You roll your eyes.
You past by Newt and he stairs at you his eyes saying a million words, he looks sorry but you just look ahead and hold your head high like Ben told you too even though you are breaking inside.
That night you couldn’t sleep.
Nightmares plagued your mind of times before the glade and the horrors that may await you in the maze.
You couldn’t get Newt out of your mind. All you wanted was to be wrapped in his arms like you were just the night before. You hated yourself for it but you missed the blonde.
Then there was the doubt. Thats what made you lie awake the most. You began to doubt if you could be a runner. What if you weren’t fast enough? What if you broke up with Newt for nothing? What if him and Gally were right?
You couldn’t take it anymore. Glancing at your watch Ben gave you, to cheer you up and for a stop watch to time you running, it was 3:00am three hours before you were meant to be up to run anyway. You swing your leg out of the bed and sit up.
There was no use just laying here. Might as well run. You tie your hair up and slip on your old worn out running shoes.
Your hut feels empty without Newt there and you shudder. Fighting the tears you jump up and run out. With each step the pain starts to go away.
As your heart beats faster the doubt slips out of your mind.
You can do this.
Your are going to be a runner.
You smiles and speed up flying around the glade.
The week was the hardest week you have ever had and you weren’t going to lie you thought you were going to die a few times.
Eight miles was not something you have ever ran before and the first three days consisted of almost fainting, vomiting and having to be carried by Ben back to your hut.
But the forth day you began to find a nice pace and ran all eight miles without fainting! Ben said he was noticing improvement but it your time still needed work.
So every morning you continued your long run around the glade.
Everyday was the same. Wake up. Run. Garden. Eat. Run. Sleep. Repeat. You were filling up with excitement as the end of the week neared. You weren’t sure if you could beat Ben let alone Minho. But you ready to try.
You missed Newt terribly and from what you could tell he missed you to. You rarely saw him around the glade and when you did his eyes were red and puffy. He snapped at the boys more often and never spoke to you. You hated seeing him this way and hated for being the cause of it, but you were trying to prove something and you needed to do it without him.
Everyday you got stronger and faster but everyday you felt a piece of your heart break away.
You needed to become a runner, maybe then Newt would see you are strong and you could… take him back. If he still wanted you.
Tonight was the night. Ben and you sat by the bonfire and watched as each boy slowly went off to bed. You laid you head on his lap and looked at the stars. He drank moonshine. It was nice. Like two siblings just hanging together enjoying life… it felt strangely normal.
“You ready?” He asks. You lift your head up and look around. Everyone was gone.
“Born ready!” You say swinging yourself up. Together you walk to one of the far walls.
“Ok. So from this wall to that one. Thats it. One mile.” He says chugging the rest of his drink.
“Alright.” You feel your nerves getting to you and Ben senses this.
“Hey its alright its just me. If you lose you just keep working I’m not going to hold it against you.” You smile and nod.
Together you take your stances both your heals touching the wall behind.
“On the count of three.” He says looking ahead.
“One.” You start.
“Two.” He says.
“Three!” You yell together and your off.
You are running right next to each other and you push hard but not to hard you learned this your first day. Push hard and you lose energy. Save your energy for the last sprint.
Ben seems to glide along the ground next to you his strides much longer then yours.
Soon he starts to pass you and is a a good yard in front. You don’t get discouraged and continue your pace.
Soon you see that the wall is getting a lot closer and you decide its time to sprint. You pump your legs faster and faster slowly catching up with Ben then… passing him. You pump your arms and leg even faster and soon you feel that joy bubbling up in you again. Soon its not a competition anymore its you and the wind in your hair you feel like your flying.
You touch the wall just before Ben.
“I won!” You yell jumping up and down Ben laughs and bends over.
“Yeah… you did.” HE looks surprised but smiles.
“Ok. you can’t tell anyone about this” he says laughing. You laugh and jump and down happily.
“I won!” You jump and hug him and he grunts.
“Yeah yeah good job.” He wraps his arms around you and laughs.
In that moment there is only happiness.
He pulls away and you skip around.
“Y/n is falling behind! No wait! Here she comes!! She is passing him she’s winning folks!! She won! Y/n faster then a cheetah! Quicker then lighning! Has won it all!!” You shout like a spokesman and laugh.
Ben smiles its nice to see you this happy, this alive.
“I have a present for ya.” He reaches behind a tree and pulls up a box and hands it to you.
You open it and there was a brand new pair of running sneakers.
“Ben thank you so much!” You say admiring them.
“You deserve them.” He winks at you.
“So you ready to take on the big guns y/n?” He asks and you freeze. Minho
You look up and Ben expects to see a hint a fear in your eyes like you had when you were about to race him, but you didn’t it was pure determination.
“You bet I am.” You say.
This was it.
The next morning you can feel the butterflies in you stomach. This was it.
You knew the plan. So did Ben. Today both him and Minho were to take the day off to look at the maps. This was your window of opportunity to ask him to a race.
You walk into the dinning hall your new sneakers on your feet and grab breakfast from Frypan. You eat next to Ben and don’t say a word. Minho comes and sits across from both of you along with… Newt.
You can feel the awkward. The two of you haven’t spoken since that day and you felt tears start to form in your eyes but you can’t have them fall not now! You blink them away and smile.
Time to get things started.
“Hey Minho.” You say giving him a sweet innocent smile.
“Yeah y/n” He asks not taking his eyes off his food.
“I want to race you.” You say raising your chin a little higher and smirking.
“What?” He asks choking.
“What?” Newt says eyes wide. You shoot him a look and he looks down.
“I said I want to race you.” You state once again.
“You.” He points at you. “Want to race me.” He points to himself.
“Thats what I said.” Ben tries not to laugh proud of your dominance.
“Let her race you Min.” He says giving you a boost. “Unless you scared of being beaten by a girl.” Minho rolls his eyes and laughs.
“Me scared. Please.” He scoffs. “You want to race. Sure lets go.” He pushes his food away and wipes his mouth with his sleeves.
You stand with Ben and follow him.
“Boys!” Minho yells, “Y/n the princess of the glade whats to race me. You are going to want to see this.” He says smirking at you.
“Y/n wants to race Minho!”
“Girls can’t run.”
“This should be funny.”
“Go easier on the little princess Min.”
You hear the boys mock. You feel heat rise in your cheeks.
You turn to Ben who smiles at you and nods. You can do it. He tells you with his eyes.
You turn to Newt who just stands watching you.
Then he says…
“You got y/n! Beat the shank!” He cheers you on along with a couple other gladers who are your friends and a smile creeps up on your face.
Suddenly it doesn’t matter what Gally or the other boys think you can do this.
Ben knows you can.
Newt knows you can.
And most importantly you know you can.
Time to show these boys what girls can do.
The boys line up at the far wall. Its the same run you ran with Ben. One mile. All the way across the galde.
One mile, easy. You knew you could do it, as fast as Minho… well you were about to find out.
You and him both put your heels on the wall and get ready.
Gally and his builders laugh and mock you but you look straight ahead.
“Why don’t we make things interesting?” You tell him and Minho smiles liking the challenge.
“Sure.” He says folding his arms.
“If I win you make me a runner.” You say smirking.
“And if I win?” He asks.
“Your not going to.” You say and the boys howl with laughter.
“Alright Princess. If I win you won’t need to give me anything because I’m such a nice person ok?” You roll your eyes.
“I’ll go easy on ya.” He says and you laugh.
“Don’t you dare.” He raises an eyebrow at you and give you a look as if to say.
What are you doing. Minho and you are friends and for you and him its all fun but he knows if he lets you win others will make of him but if you don’t he would feel bad as a friend.
“Don’t go easy on me Min. I want to be a runner.” You say to him while extending your hand to him.
He takes and shakes it.
“Your one determined princess aren’t you?” He asks laughing.
“You know it.”
“Alright! Here we go. On three.” Ben yells threw the cheers.
The world seems to slow down a bit.
“One.” You look over to Ben and he nods.
“Two.” You eyes meet Newt and he smiles at you.
“Three.” Your off.
The cheers of the gladers slowly fades from your ears and all you hear is your own heat pumping and your breathing.
Keeping your steady pace you turn to see Minho still next to you.
You pass the half mile mark and you are surpised to see you are both still running side by side.
You are equal with Minho.
The keeper of the runners.
A sudden boost of confidence surges threw you and you pump even faster faster then you ever have in your life.
You lungs burn and you legs feel numb not used to the quickened pace. You’ve never felt better in your entire life.
The wall gets closer and you once again glance to the side.
Minho’s not there.
A smile creeps on your face as you run and slap the wall. You won.
But you don’t stop.
You turn and start running back.
You run past a panting Minho.
A shocked Gally.
A smiling Ben.
You run till you see the blonde and don’t stop till your right back in his arms.
“I did it.” You say smiling arms wrapped tightly around his neck. You feel him tighten a bit shocked by your actions but he immediately hugs you back and your smile grows bigger.
“Yeah you did. I’m so proud. Y/n i’m so sorry I was a shank. I’m so so sorry.” Newt says rocking you back and forth in his arms. “I love you so much princess I’m so so sorry. I love you. I love you.” He repeats over and over again like a prayer.
“Shh I know.” You say running a hand threw his hair.
“Your shucking amazing you know that.” He says laughing.
“I know that too.” Your beaming as he pulls away and pulls your lips onto his. You get a bunch of whistles from the boys and you can’t help but smile into the kiss.
“Geez y/n.” You turn to see a defeated Minho panting.
“Aww Minho.” You throw an arm around him.
“When did you get so fast?” He asks still shocked.
“Well I had some help.” You turn to Ben and give him a hug. “Thanks bro.”
“Bro?” He asks smiling.
“Yeah. Your the closest thing I got to one.” You hug him again and whisper in his ear. “Thank you Ben.”
“My pleasure princess.” He says pulling away and bowing and you giggle.
“How does it feel to lose to a girl?” You hear Gally mock Minho and you whip around.
“Excuse me!?” You walk up to Gally and suddenly all of his builder buddies stop laughing.
“Girls can be just as fast and just as strong as boy if they want to be!” You yell at him your hands bawled up into fists.
“I…I was just…kid…” Gally stumbles.
“Boys are not superior to girls Gally! Beside if I can beat Minho I can guarantee I can beat your sorry ass. Now why don’t you go and grace someone else with your presents.” You mock giving him a fake smile and a little wave.
He goes beat red and you know you’ve won.
“Well would you look at that Gally!” You hear Newt yell as he wraps his arms around you and pecks your cheek.
“Our badass princess just scared you.” You giggle and put your hands over his own.
“I like that” You say as Gally stomps off.
“Your my badass princess y/n.” He kisses your nose and you smirk grabbing his collar and pulling him down to your lips.
“Alright y/n.” Minho says smiling. “You won far and square so starting tomorrow. Your a runner.”
Your smile grows huge as he says the words you’ve been waiting to hear for weeks.
You turn to Newt and he looks down at the floor. Your smile starts to fade.
He looks up at you and sees your face.
“I’m so proud of you y/n. You deserve this and I support you a hundred percent just be safe and promise you will always come back to me.” He says kissing your nose.
Your smile grows once again.
“I promise!” You jump up and wrap your legs around his waist and the boy along with Newt laughs.
“The badass princess of the glade!” Ben cheers patting you on the back once you get down from Newts embrace.
You showed these boys thats for sure.
Now you get to run for you, for your family, for Newt.
Today I was verbally attacked by someone who did not know me. And sadly he was too uneducated to realize I had agreed with him in the first place. Regardless the circumstance he proceeded to call me fat and obese, and then brought my daughter into it basically calling her the same. (Mind you he does not know me and only knew I had a daughter due to my profile picture) He then had the audacity to say he was a personal trainer and could give me some tips and I needed to learn “how to put the fork down”.. but what he didn’t understand is that calling me fat or overweight is not an insult… I am in fact fat and overweight, but that’s not all of who I am.. I am fat and I am beautiful, I am fat and I am loved, I am fat and I am a great mom, I am fat and I am active, I am fat and I am happy. Now when it comes to my child that’s where you cross the line. (luckily she is too young to be on Facebook and see what was said.) But I am here to reassure her that when people like you say hurtful things, that they are simply unhappy people. That the only thing that can bring them up is by tearing other people down. And that is truly sad… she will grow up having compassion for people like you , even when I just want to break out my mama bear claws and rip you a new one. She will never become anorexic, or depressed over ignorant words being thrown at her without thought. And she will always be a better person than you, regardless of what any scale says. Cause I will teach her that she is not only her weight, she is so much more,
I’ve done 21 days! Now I gotta keep going doesn’t feel that much like a habit but I’m getting there these 21 days have been tough but I’m determined. To show veryone and prove them wrong. Cuz I’m doin this with no special shakes or videos or weightloss program just eating healthy and smaller portions and the gym which is now my 2nd home! #weightloss #wls #determined #provethemwrong #motivated #21days