proud to be british

summary of britain :

-elaine the pain
-dave just saved money on his car insurance and now he feels epic
-carpet right
-woolies
-dfs sales
-raven
-the “I like old movies,” match.com couple
-sick one m8
-wanker
-losing ur nandos virginity
-bogies!!!
-such fun
-vicky pollard
-greggs amirite??????
-top notch banter
-there ain’t no party like an sclub party
-feeling out of place wearing trackies in waitrose
-lad points
-should’ve gone to specsavers
-jezza kyle (ledge)
-webuyanycar.com
-the isle of fernandos
-d of fucking e

What It's Like To Be British....

• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”


• Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”

• Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best


• Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door


• Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit


• Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand


• Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home

• The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector


• The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”


• “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it


• Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands


• Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck


• Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change


• Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again


• Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested


• Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”


• Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon


• Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it


• Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave


• Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible


• The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about


• Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake


• Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot


• Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink


• “You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit


• Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it


• “I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house”


• Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever


• Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever


• Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’


• Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether

• Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing


• Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again


• The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up

• Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again

I see no lies here
10

so as the most recent series of ITV’s Endeavour finished lately and we will be on hiatus until series 5 comes out, I felt the need to make this for you all to enjoy, also please go watch this if you haven’t it’s such a good show :3 

if you like Sherlock you will like this, I promise

also @howmuchpieisleft contributed a little bit so thanks for filling the holes in my brain <3 

summary of britain:

-dave just saved money on his car insurance and now he feels epic
-simples *meerkat noise*
-vicky pollard
-d of e
-the “I like old movies” match.com ad
-the isle of fernandos
-losing ur nandos virginity
-lad points
-woolies
-jezza kyle (top ledge)
-raven
-greggs
-any type of insurance advert
-sick one m8
-elaine the pain
-there ain’t no party like an s club party
-should’ve gone to specsavers
-feeling outta place in trackies in waitrose
-such fun
-carpet right

9

I made another one of these dumb things, because I feel like this show has kinda fallen off the radar and not enough people know about it’s hilarity. 

I love this show so much, it never fails to make me laugh :3

Ok, what the fuck?

Have you guys ever felt attacked by your main celebrity crush? Like… you’re finally starting to see other handsome actors and suddenly they come back with lots of photshoots or some new trailer and just pull you back in a “You’re not going anywhere” kind of way?

BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THOMAS IS CONSTANTLY DOING TO ME.

Back when I was starting to crush on Sebastian, all the Kong shiz happened. Now i am really trying to stick with my guy, calm, zen, flowery Keanu, where everything is peaceful and he’s a gentle guy, AND HERE HE COMES THOMAS STOMPING WITH NEW LOKI SHIZ, AND NEW PHOTOSHOOTS.

I JUST… CAN’T.CATCH.A BREAK.

YOU SHUT YOUR FACE, WILLIAM.

There’s not a lot to be patriotic about as a British person. We’ve done some terrible things.

But one thing that will always, always make me so proud to be British is our absolute unfailing ability to simply brush ourselves off and continue after tragedy.

Blow up a tube train and a London city bus? People are on the tube the very next day. Waiting for busses.

Today Manchester city centre is still open for business. Signs saying ‘I love Manchester’ are all over the city.

We do not let fear break us. The blitz spirit really does live on. That’s one thing that makes me proud to be British.

To quote someone on twitter ‘Fuck terrorism, stick the kettle on.’

I don’t think there’s been a better time to be a wrestling fan and to be British. I’m proud….

Originally posted by kevinsteen


Originally posted by mith-gifs-wrestling


Originally posted by prowrestlingnow


Originally posted by wrestlingsmarkmatty


Originally posted by samizayn


Originally posted by baleesi


Originally posted by champnaomi


Originally posted by that-prowrestling-girl


Originally posted by totaldivasepisodes

some of the best moments of my life are at concerts. there’s no feeling like being at a concert, watching someone you admire sing the songs that get you through the day. concerts are a safe place for fun and entertainment and feeling absolutely invincible.

no person of any age should have to go through what happened last night. i’m so proud to be british because we always come together beautifully after events such as these and we remind ourselves of the importance of solidarity and just being kind to one another.

the world isn’t an ugly place, it’s the people who try to make us believe it is that are the ugly ones.