protistute

Playing through a campaign and we hear goblins on the other side of a door… we roll for stealth and all fail. The goblins catch site of us…

“Who are you?!” The guards growl at us.
“Ummm we have that male protistute your boss ordered” says our High Elf Wizard.
“We didn’t order any…”
–“I start rubbing my nipples seductively” our half Orc warrior shouts
–“Give me a performance check”
Rolls a nat 20
“Hey this guy’s pretty good!”
And that’s the story of how we got walked straight to the final boss