protective-gear

Space Australian Medicine

Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, something truly nasty escaped Earth. They call it giardia, a microscopic organism that their Planetary Protection Officer called “pretty dumb” and “not too bad, really, a week of digestive upset and then it’s over.”

Yes, Earth has a Planetary Protection Officer. They have a Planetary Protection Office, and have had one since they were sending probes around their own solar system. Doctor Ma-et had found it a bit silly, like a child concerned about the cleanliness of their toys, until she learned that the job of the Planetary Protection Office had always been protecting other worlds from Earth.

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🐝🐝OWW's Bee Tips🐝🐝

Alright I love bees. And honestly I have idiots at my school who kill them. So let’s get some stuff straight.

🐝Bees are Harmless. They won’t sting you randomly. I’ve had a few crawl over my skin out of curiosity. Not a single sting. They will sting, if provoked. Even if it was an accident. (I hit one with my bag at six flags and didn’t know until I got stung.)
🐝Bees work hard for our environment. Please, stop killing them. They pollinate and help plants we need grow and flourish.
🐝If you see a bee struggling to fly or move, its most likely dehydrated and give them some sugar water and wait until they can fly on their own. They may come back for more as they have done that with a few of my drinks before.
🐝If you’re allergic to bees, DONT SWAT OR HIT THEM AWAY! That’s the worst thing you can do. Stay still. Gently push them away if you feel you won’t provoke them, and they won’t freaking sting you. I’m tired of seeing that as an excuse to kill them too. THEY ARE HARMLESS
🐝Bees get curious when they smell something sweet/sugary like perfumes and drinks. They also tend to be attracted to colors. They’re just curious. Looking for things to pollinate and stuff to get nectar. DONT SWAT THEM AWAY.
🐝Find a local BEE KEEPERS NUMBER THAT COLLECTS BEES FROM HOUSES AND PLACES if there are bees at you’re home and you’re worried. DONT CALL AN EXTERMINATOR! You’re just helping them become more extinct.
🐝Bee Keepers know what’s best. Please ask them questions if you are really curious.
🐝"Wait but Bee Keepers where those body suits to protect themselves from bee stings. Doesn’t that mean that bees will jus–“ No. They wear that suit when they’re going in to check on the hive, collect honey, feed them and everything that can be seen as provoking them. When a bees hive is in danger, they swarm. So yes. They have protective gear, but you don’t have to worry because they don’t do that UNLESS PROVOKED!
🐝BEES ARE HARMLESS UNLESS PROVOKED!
🐝STOP PROVOKING THE BEES AND MAYBE YOU WONT GET STUNG
🐝STOP KILLING BEES JUST BECAUSE YOURE SCARED OF THEM OR SIMPLY DONT LIKE THEM
🐝THEY WONT INTENTIONALLY HURT YOU LIKE OTHER STINGING INSECTS
🐝BE NICE TO THE BEES THEY DO SO MUCH FOR US AND YOURE ALL ASSHOLES BY BEING RUDE TO THEM
🐝SAVE THE BEES!!!!
~Moon Child

Another thing that really bothers me about the conversations around ‘riots’ is the amount of people who have a binary image of ‘big capitalist store’ versus the romantized ‘honest local store’ and think they can tell the difference from a photo. 

A lot of local stores feel the need to compete with the big stores and treat their employees like shit. There are so many ‘local’ stores out there exploiting teenagers and undocumented people, paying them less than minimum wage, pushing them to work without breaks and to unpaid overtime. And local activists often know exactly who the worst bastards in town are. 

When I was young I worked at a cute little local bakery that exploited a hand full of underage workers, denying us basic workers rights and minimum wage and exposing us to constant emotional abuse. We worked long shifts on ovens placed much to close together without proper protective gear and we burned ourselves almost every day. We were given minimal time and no proper supplies to treat burns. I once burned myself very badly and dropped the bread I was holding and the boss made me sit through a ten minute shouting before I could treat my burn. I still have clear scars from that work after many years. 

So if the riot ever comes to that town, you can bet I’ll be right in front leading the charge to burn that cute little local bakery. 

Reminder: Check your gear regurlarly!

Tuesday this week I went to training. I know I held my new mask in one hand and my old, dented one, in my other. The thought of taking my new one to training crossed my mind but I didn’t: “No.. It will only get dents and then I will not be able to compete with that mask.”

I put my old mask in the bag, the bag on my back together with Bengt (my sword, that is) and went to training on my bicycle. Just like any Tuesday I and Carl held our training for kids. It went pretty well, the kids being more focused then they use to be.

After the kids training I realized that our training would be full of people. More than it has been in quite a while. Of course I love when our trainings are crowded with people. But, I don’t like too many human beings in a restricted area. I’m not saying that our training hall is small, it’s just not really large either. Anyhow, I wasn’t in the mood for all that people that day. I sighed, tried to get that feeling of me and started to warmup along with the others. We went through some basic thrusting techniques. Carl adjusted my hip movement and told me how to thrust together with my hip. This was a real eye-opener, in a moment it was so much easier for me to thrust! Cool. I repeated a couple of times. Then Carl said: Put your gear on!

I didn’t really felt like it to be honest. It was one of those days when everything was a big “Meeeeeh”. I went over for my gear anyway. Put everything on, pointed out a sparring partner and began at Carl’s command. The first round went ok. I wasn’t frustrated and quite relaxed, despite my lack of motivation. After the first round we had like 30 seconds pause to find a new partner to spar with. Said and done. The bell rang again. If I remember it correctly I won the first exchange, but to be honest I don’t really know. I went to my corner, turned around for the second exchange and faced my opponent. I went in, trying to find a hole in his defense. It didn’t take long at all, BLAM. A hard oberhau against the top of my head. I know I said: OUCH. Something didn’t feel alright. He looked at me and asked: Are you okay?
I thought I were, that the hit was only a bit harder than I expected.

I went back to the wall. Feeling something warm dripping in my face. I looked down and saw some blood drops on the floor, dripping slowly from my mask. I thought to myself: Well, it’s just a scratch. Not so bad, maybe I need a plaster. I thought it would take off. It didn’t.

My mask with the blood inside

The blood started to pour down with increasing speed. I realized this was bad. First I stood alone turned against the wall. Others came next to me, looking at my face. Someone yelled: CALL AN AMBULANCE repeatedly. I saw a big pool of blood on the floor, but at the moment I was pretty calm in the situation. Someone told me to lay down, I did. I saw Carl who looked at me and said: That needs to be sewn. Then he went after the first aid kit. At that moment I had very hard to realize what actually happened. I said something like: COOOL. Now I will get a badass jacket, with blood on it! Just like Carl’s! And a nice scar to, like Harry Potter. But the words stitches rang in my head: Nooo it can’t be that bad.

My bloody jacket.

One guy held my legs high and the guy who hit me try to stop the blood pouring out of my forehead. Someone put a bandage on my forehead with the help of my sparring partner who asked me how many fingers and noses he held up. I almost started to laugh, thinking he was silly. Had to tell him that: It’s ok. I can see! By this time they also made the decision that an ambulance wasn’t needed and that someone could drive me to the emergency center.

Someone helped me out of my fencing jacket, my new white jacket, while I was laying down.

They collected my training stuff as I was laying there. I went up, saw the blood on the floor that had been pouring out while I was laying down. It looked like a lot.

Before we went I wanted to have Bengt with me. Carl looked at me and said: No, he can stay here this time.

Unwillingly I gave Bengt to Jesper. Jesper looked at Bengt in a somewhat distasteful manner. I looked at Bengt and understood why, it was blood on him as well. Everything happened fast, but still very slow. Like everything were moving in slow-motion.

Carl drove me there.

Me at the emergency center

They took a look on me after like, 30 minutes or so. Took the bandage off and gave it a look, put some new bandage on and showed us to the waiting room. We sat there for 2-3 hours before it was my turn to get stitched up. We were supervised to a treatment room, the doctor came in and asked me what had happened. I explained. She looked at me like I was some kind of lunatic. “But you had a mask, right?”

Me after they put on some new bandages.

Of course I had!
She were still a bit skeptic. “Aren’t they supposed to take this kind of hits`?”
Carl explained that these kind of injuries never occurred in our club before, and maybe just 1-2 times during competitions. The doctor explained she had to check if I got a concussion by checking out my nerve system. Had to follow her finger with my eyes and things like that.
Luckily I was fine, I just had a big hole in my head. Now it was the time to stitch me up.

They started to talk about which needle to use. Shit just got real.
I started to feel sick and began to sweat. I told them that, and they put a bag next to me if I needed to throw up. They took a needle up to give me some anesthesia straight to my forehead. This was very uncomfortable, I felt the needle all the way through. It was like something try to rip the skin of my forehead away. Euck. Until it worked, then I didn’t feel a shit. It was just nasty and a very bizarre situation. Especially when they both stick their finger in my wound to see if my bone was crushed. Then they started to sew. I just wanted to go home now. It took forever. And I was certain that it would be like 2 stitches. I ended up with five. Carl told me in beforehand that the wound was like his thumb, 5 cm or so, in beforehand. But I still didn’t think that it would end up with five stitches.
I felt like I was going to faint or something while they were sewing, but I didn’t. When they were done they gave me some lemonade and I could get home.

The stitches will be removed on Monday. I’m ok and most of all: I’m happy that it didn’t got worse.

With this story in mind I want to tell you all:
Check your gear. Take care of each other and always wear a mask. Don’t ever take things for granted. Ok? 

My mask after the accident. It had massive dents in beforehand and I will never, ever train with a dented mask again. Neither should you. 

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: Keep still, it sees you.

Taurus: Trace the coils in the air, they will lead you to what you seek.

Gemini: The moon is right, give it the old college try but wear protective gear.

Cancer: The stars say to eat. You need it.

Leo: Move to the river. Drink deep. It will all be over soon.

Virgo: The answer brandishes a pool cue. The answer has had too much to drink.

Libra: Suit up. You are needed. Bring the rain.

Scorpio: The lights are hotter than they look. Dress lightly. Wear antiperspirant.

Ophiuchus: Ignore the rocking chair.

Sagittarius: Leave for now. Recompense is coming. Know that they understand.

Capricorn: Lingerie does wonders.

Aquarius: Play close to the chest. You are watched.

Pisces: The answer lies within the ground beef. Wash your hands.

Aliens Vs Menstrual

Re-posting this so folks actually see the damn thing.

Please forgive the length… the plot bunny got away from me… very far away from me…


There was blood on the floor.

Avrex blinked and stared at the red droplets on the floor. More red caught xer eye. There was more just under the edge of the seat. As if someone had tried to wipe it up but hadn’t thought to get under the very edge. Only one species on board had red blood.

This had to belong to one of the humans.

But why would blood be here in waste room of all places? Granted, humans were an odd breed, and used the waste rooms for more than the elimination of waste. Some even installed mirrors and extra lights and spent an hour or more in there! But blood? Why here? And why on the waste reclaimer lid? Surely if one of the humans was injured they would go to the infirmary….

…wouldn’t they?

Avrex shook xer scaled head and stalked out of the waste room. Xey would get to the bottom of this.


The humans had been hired three months prior. Two at first. Then another two a month later. And a fifth one a month after that. They were extremely useful, and didn’t really take up much space.

Hunting down any of said humans was a challenge.

Three of the humans were mechanics, and could be found shimmying their slender bodies between various components of the ship to reach the part they desired to work on. Even with an extra set of large eyes, Avrex would often walk right by the little beings, missing their little oil and grease smeared bodies in amongst the equally oil and grease smeared engine components. At a hulking ten feet tall, Avrex often missed the little monsters because they were under something or other.

The massive first officer dismissed the mechanics as a viable first target for questions. Searching through the entrails of the ship for crew members that xey may or may not find was not an effective use of xer energy or time. Xey could always catch the mechanics at the designated meal time if the other two humans couldn’t answer xer questions satisfactorily.

The fourth human was no easier to find. He was a security guard, and could be anywhere on the ship at any given time. Despite the fact that he wasn’t a mechanic, he seemed to share their proclivity for climbing on things, and for crawling into spaces that were inaccessible to most of the rest of the crew.

That left Carl.

Avrex made xer ponderous way down to the metallurgy lab. The human designated as Carl was not like the others. He was much older. The kind, gentle being had been the first human the ship had taken on, and had paved the way for the four other humans that followed. The others respected him greatly, turning to him for wisdom and advice. Surely Carl would have some insight into why there was human blood in the waste room.

Carl was right where he was supposed to be.

Avrex pressed the alert button and patiently waited to be granted entry just outside the lab doors. The request was swiftly answered, the doors sliding open with a soft hiss to admit the ship’s first officer.

Carl had put his work station into a safe position, and turned in his seat to give the hulking alien from Jarrok his full and undivided attention. Avrex had always liked that about Carl. While the human ability to multi-task often came in useful, it was sometimes disconcerting to hold a conversation with a being that never once even glanced in xer general direction while they spoke.

Carl smiled as he stripped of his protective gear. “Avrex. What brings you down here?”

The first officer assumed a parade rest position. “I have a query about human behavior, and had hoped that you could explain.”

The human chuckled and ran a hand through his graying hair. “Well, I’ll do my best. Go on and fire away.”

Avrex paused, then decided to ignore the odd turn of phrase. Experience had shown that large amounts of time were wasted when human parlance was questioned. “I discovered a small amount of blood in one of the communal waste rooms. I am aware that humans use waste rooms for more than their intended purpose, but I am at a loss as to what form of task could take place in a waste room, and possessed the potential to cause injury. The blood was red, thus it can be safely assumed that such belonged to one of the humans on board. But none of the humans have sought out medical aid. If one of my crew is injured in any capacity, as first officer I am entitled to know, so that I may account for such injuries when drawing up the duty roster for the coming cycles.”

The elderly male frowned thoughtfully. “There are a couple things it might be. But I’m not going to stir up panic by picking the wrong one. Which waste room was it you found the blood?”

Feeling dread curdle in xer gut, Avrex gave him the correct room number.

Carl nodded. “Melanie was supposed to be working up near that sector. More’n likely it’s her blood you found. Come on, I’ll walk up with you and help straighten this mess out.” Avrex started to protest. Surely xey could manage without taking Carl away from his work if given the pertinent information. The elderly human shook his head in seeming amusement. “Trust me Avrex, it’s better if I go along. If this is what I think it is, you’d just end up with a very angry or hurt mechanic on your hands.”

The first officer shut xer maw, frilled ears pinned back against the sides of xer head. What could possibly be going on that would result in a human being injured or angry?

Xey walked back down to the correct deck with Carl, deciding to wait and see. If what Xey had heard from other ships was true, an angry human was something to be avoided if at all possible.


Despite the consistent trouble the rest of the crew had in locating the mechanics while about their work in the engines, Carl seemed to have no problem tracking down the correct human.

At his call, she crawled out of a space so tight Avrex wasn’t sure xey could’ve gotten a paw in.

The second human the ship had taken on, Melanie had been hired barely a week after Carl. She was by far the smallest of the humans, and the quietest. Her peers took shameless advantage of her small size, leaving work in the tightest spaces to her. She didn’t seem to mind, preferring to work alone rather than with her group as most humans were purported to do. In fact, with the exception of Carl she seemed to avoid all of her kind for the most part.

The raven haired female flashed her teeth in the odd threat gesture that humans insisted denoted welcome, amusement, or joy.

Melanie wiped her hand on a rag and stuck it out to Carl for a traditional human greeting. “Hey Carl. Did one of your do-dads break down again?”

“Not this time dear.” Carl assured. “The first officer swung by with a question, and it seemed you’d be most likely to have the answer. Seems Avrex swung by the restroom and found human blood on the floor. Any chance you’d know something about that?”

Melanie paled.

The elder human nodded and patted her shoulder, seeming to have derived his answer from her silence. “It’s alright dear, no need to worry. I was married for thirty-five years before cancer took my sweet Belle, and she and I raised six beautiful daughters. There isn’t a thing under the sun I haven’t seen, and I’ve made more trips to the store for feminine things than I could probably count! Do you need any help, or do you have everything in order?”

The young female slowly relaxed at his kindly manner. She shook her head, asserting that she had ‘it’ covered. Avrex shifted xer weight, subtly drawing the humans’ attention back to xer question.

“You’re the only woman on board, Mel. Would you like to explain? Or would you rather I did?”

Melanie’s cheeks started to change color underneath the grease. “I can do it.”

Carl seemed pleased by the answer. “Go get ‘em then. And if you need anything, you go ahead and ask me or Cal. That’s the lad over in security, in case you didn’t know. Lord knows he’s young, but he won’t give you any grief if you need something and can’t get it yourself.”

Calling a farewell, Carl patted Avrex on the shoulder and headed back to his lab, leaving the massive reptilian being towering over the tiny female.

Avrex slowly squatted down as low as xey could manage in an attempt to put her at ease. Xer experience with humans was still somewhat limited, but observation had shown that humans tended to be slightly intimidated by a difference in height.

Her cheeks were changing color again. Looking down, the human female mumbled something at the floor.

Avrex cocked xer head. “Could you repeat that more clearly please?”

Melanie seemed to gather her courage and finally looked the massive officer in the larger pair of xer four amber colored eyes.

“I’m on my period.” The admission made, she seemed to lose some of her discomfort. “It started a few hours ago while I was up in the machinery. I had to climb down and run to the rest roo-damnit, waste room to clean myself up. I’m sorry about the blood, I’ll be more careful in future.”

Avrex cocked xer head. “I do not understand. I was under the impression that ‘period’ is a form of punctuation denoting the end of a sentence. How then, can you be ‘on’ it?”

She stared at xem for a long moment, eyes widening as she slowly seemed to realize that xey genuinely had no idea what she was talking about. “Ok. Um… the word ‘period’ also means a length of time. Human females use the word as slang to talk about a specific time. It’s… God, I can’t believe I’m giving an alien the talk. Ok, so basically…”

Avrex listened in growing astonishment as the little female described a process by which one of her internal organs partially deconstructed itself once a month unless she put it to use in forming a baby. If she was to be believed, it happened once a month from approximately age eleven to age forty to fifty. Admittedly, compared to the amount of blood in the human body the amount lost during one of the episodes she described was relatively small. But, she explained that other fluids were expelled as well, along with pieces of the organ that was shredding and rebuilding itself. The entire process took place approximately every three to four weeks.

Avrex shook xer head. “Shouldn’t such a process be painful?”

Melanie shrugged. “Well yeah. I know some women who stay in bed the entire time they’re on because it hurts so bad.”

The first officer reared back in alarm. “Are you in pain?!”

Another shrug. “My uterus is shredding it’s inner lining because I’m not knocked up with a baby. Yes, I hurt.”

Avrex had to work hard not to snap xer teeth in xer anger on Melanie’s behalf. “If human females require bed-rest while experiencing one of these ‘periods’, why are you not in bed? Surely if you explained the situation to the medical officer he would have given you medical leave. We do not require a crew member to return to active duty immediately after surgery, surely an internal organ coming apart cannot be so different!”

Melanie laughed. Laughed!

The little human caught xer hand and gave it a squeeze. “I said some humans Avrex. Some. Most don’t experience severe pain. If it gets bad, it means that more than likely something else is wrong. Most of us wear special liners in our clothes or inserted into our bodies to catch the blood so we don’t get it all over the place. And we just go on with our daily routine. Grin and bear it. We’ll be alright.”

The first officer wasn’t convinced. “At least tell me that you have spoken to the medical officer about something to relieve the pain.”

She shook her head, holding up a hand to forestall xer protests. “Some women do. I don’t like using pain medication for something I can tough out. Humans have this thing, where we can slowly build up an immunity to certain drugs through prolonged use. I avoid pain medication so I don’t build up an immunity. That way, when I do need it I know it works really well. As soon as I realize my period is starting, I start drinking more water. The human body is about sixty percent water, and making sure that I’m properly hydrated speeds up the process and makes it hurt less. Instead of dealing with it for six to seven days, it only lasts three to four. Seriously Avrex, I’m fine, and I’ve got a handle on the rest of the symptoms. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Avrex felt as if xer head was spinning. “Other symptoms?”

The human bared her teeth in another smile. “Most of us get moody because our hormone level fluctuate a bit. It hits every woman a bit differently. Some women turn into a weepy mess. Me? I turn into a grouchy, irritable, cow who avoids everyone like the plague. Other women will get angry at the drop of a hat and bite the head off the nearest individual that annoys her.” She must’ve seen the look of shock and horror on xer face because she immediately backtracked. “Shit, not literally! I mean they just get overly aggressive, usually verbally.”

She waited for a second, to make sure xey understood, then went on.

“Aside from the moodiness it’s a grab bag of ways your period will affect you. Some people get cravings, some people get back pain, or their breasts”, she put her hands illustratively on the soft mounds on her chest to be sure that there wasn’t any miscommunication between them about what ‘breasts’ were, “get sore. Most of us get cramps in our lower abdomens right about here.” Again the illustrative touch, this time to a spot just below her belt. “Some of us have an increased sex drive, while others just want to roll themselves up in a blanket like a burrito, and a lot of us are fatigued. Every woman’s different.”

Avrex slowly shook xer head, completely dumbfounded by the sudden influx of information. “Is…is there anything you currently require? I know that Carl already asked, and you informed him that you were sufficiently prepared, but…”

Her face softened. “I’m fine Avrex. Really. I just…”

“Hey! Melanie! You gonna keep up with the men today, or are you gonna have a tea party with the dinosaur all day?”

Avrex almost responded.

Almost.

Instead, xey remained stationary, watching as a strange change came over the female before xem. Where before she had been timid and shy, at the sudden derogatory call from the newest of the five humans, a male named Dave, her face suddenly became calm and smooth as granite.

She slowly turned and cast a threatening, and yes Avrex was sure that this smile was definitely a threat, at Dave and the other male mechanic Josh. Josh had been the fourth human taken on, hired within days of Cal the security guard.

As Dave was the one who’d spoken, Melanie seemed to focus most of her attention on him. “Care to run that by me again smart mouth?”

Josh, older and more mature than Dave, seemed to understand the unspoken warning. “Dave…”

The younger human ignored him. “Ooh, someone woke up on the bitchy side of the bed this morning. What’s a matter sweet cheeks?” He made an expression that Avrex would later learn was called a leer. The male grabbed her by the arm. “Maybe you just need a little action to settle you down, yeah? How ‘bout it babe? I bet I can get that stick out of your ass. Hm? Maybe put something better…”

A large wrench whistled through the air and stopped within a micron’s breadth of the young human’s nose. It was easily the length of the male’s forearm, and had previously been occupying a loop on Melanie’s belt. He stared at it, cross eyed and pale, then looked at the diminutive little female who could’ve easily broken his nose if she’d had less control.

“What’s a matter?” She parroted the question back, voice tight and dark. “What’s a matter is that I started my day in a fountain of my own blood, and that’s how you’re going to end yours if you ever call me ‘sweet cheeks’, ‘babe’, or any other cutesy nickname again. And as for keeping up with you ‘men’, I’m already three days ahead of schedule. You’ve barely been on this ship a month and you’re already two weeks behind. So I’d say it’s you who aught to be keeping up with me, because it seems anything you can do I can do better and faster while bleeding.” Her dark eyes narrowed. “And lastly? If you ever lay hands on me again? I promise you, they will never find your body.”

She slid the wrench back into her belt, cast a respectful nod to Avrex, and calmly crawled back up into the machinery.

Dave stared after her for a long moment, then pointed. “Josh! Did you see what that bitch just…”

The older male cuffed him over the back of the head. “You’re an idiot. Never piss off something that bleeds for seven days a month and doesn’t die. I haven’t got to know her all that well yet, but Mel is worth ten of you. That woman works her ass off. If you ever go after her again, and she doesn’t kill you, you can bet that I will happily beat you black and blue!”

Avrex bared xer teeth, allowing a tiny warning growl to rumble deep inside xer barrel chest. The reptilian first officer slowly stood to xer full ten foot height, looming over the miscreant. “Consider yourself warned.”


An additional talk with Carl yielded a few ‘pearls of wisdom’ concerning ‘feminine’ needs.

With the thunderstruck captain’s blessing, Avrex ordered small metal receptacles installed in each of the public waste rooms on board at their next stop. Carl had suggested small boxes, but given the frequency of meteor showers and pirate attacks, evasive maneuvers were engaged fairly often. Avrex thought it better to have the receptacles affixed to the wall and a basic bolt lock placed on the lid so that the ‘feminine’ supplies wouldn’t be thrown around the waste rooms when the ship had to duck or roll suddenly.

Upon having the situation explained, the other alien members of the crew who hadn’t been released for shore leave were more than happy to help. They liked Melanie, and the discovery that she spent a week in pain each month and gave no outward sign was disconcerting to say the least.

Other changes included stain proof bedding, a heating pad, a new fluffy blanket, and a few earth sweets being slipped into her room.


Dave, the human who had harassed her, was not invited back to the ship.

Instead he was replaced with a male creylight from the Andromeda system. While not as small as the humans, he was still flexible enough to reach most of the components without taking a piece of the engine apart, and he was much stronger. The humans wouldn’t have to drag the lifting equipment out as often.

He was also made aware of how his predecessor had been fired for his disrespectful, inappropriate, and frankly downright threatening behavior towards Melanie.

The crew was not going to tolerate such treatment towards their favorite human.


Melanie nearly burst xer ear drums with her grateful calls upon returning from shore leave and discovering what xey had done.

She had been dreading coming back to work and having to deal with Dave. And then to find out he’d been fired, and to see what ‘sweethearts’ the rest of the crew had been…

As xey crouched down to receive the strongest ‘hug’ the little human could muster, Avrex couldn’t help but marvel at the change in her attitude. While she still treated Josh a little coolly, Melanie seemed much less guarded than she had before. She made friends with Cal, and Carl, and slowly started to get to know Josh. She was more outgoing while socializing with the rest of the crew. The timidity faded, an air of preparedness that the crew hadn’t even realized was there fell away. Leaving her relaxed and free. For the first time since she’d boarded the ship, she seemed truly happy.

She felt safe.

And Avrex couldn’t help but feel both saddened and enraged at how surprised she seemed that they would go out of their way to make her feel safe and comfortable. That she was so used to relying on no one but herself. So used to being stepped on and living in fear of the male half of her species taking advantage of her.

No more.

Avrex took care of xer crew.

Expedition to Sol2487-3

Here is my first “earth is space australia and humans are space orcs” post. Have read those and got stucked on the “poisonous oxygen breather”. If other races would breath less deadly (and less energetic) gases for their cell functioning, their bodys were bound to have quite inefficient growth compared to us. So basically, oxygen breather are just fricking huge to aliens. Oh, and I think human’s and bird’s eyes are quite the thing, our eyesight goes beyond most sentinent race’s imagination, but that’s a later term. It’s planned to have several episodes, hope you enjoy it. Please don’t mind my english and leave a comment.


That puny little Planet in System Sol2487, the only one with liquid water there, was indeed a scary one. Our ship was sent to investigate, take some specimens, and leave. No extraordinary thrilling task. The atmosphere was breathable, enough C02 to keep our bodies running, and nothing eminently deadly in there. The oxygen content was somewhat high though. And the sun’s radiation, too. This planet was so tiny in comparison to our homeworld, but much nearer to this system’s sun. Better not risking anything and taking the full protective gear with respiratory support. And those interferences with our ship’s navigation system bothered me. Some mysterious electromagnetic radiation, maybe signs of a sentinent race’s culture? But here? Oddly enough there was life on this overcooked lump of spacerock, but sentinent one? I doubted it. Must have been the planets magnetic field.

The gravitation was stronger than expected of that little planet. Not that far off to my own homeplanet. That was at least twenty times larger, though. How was this possible? We landed on a flat, grey and solid hard surface. At the horizon we saw near endless forests, except for two opposing directions, where this weird grey soil reached til the line of our sights and probably far beyond.
“Is this an empty river’s bed?” I remember asking my first mate, Xato Nexgrra. He was Pakoralean, a race of rather slender built, but quite of the bright site of the universe, capable of some serious multitasking with his fifteen flexible limbs.
“Negative, Captain” he had replied. “It’s stone, once liquid and now hardened again.”
“A vulcano?”
“No, Sir, I examined it with my tactile knots and it feels sort of, I don’t know, artificial to me. A Street. Of hardened tar.”
“Ok, a sentinent race on this planet. Well, that’s unexpected. But who in Xaleates’ damn universe would build a street in the middle of nowhere, wide enough to fit two of our expedition space crafts next to each other, on this puny planet?” It wasn’t like me to use our races deity’s name that informal, but for all that I knew, this was weird. Not even the Morians, the biggest of the known sentinent races, would be in need of streets that wide.
“Captain!” It was Loxxar Kraes, my head of security, an Ukraera, quite smart for his race, but his biggest trade was his speed and agility. Must be down to the fact that they use five of their seven limbs for running.  “We secured the landing zone to the edge of that forest, but… uhm, that ain’t no trees. It’s grass.”
“Grass? You mean, like a meadow?”
“Kinda.”

We gathered in front of the “grass”. Nothing uncommon about grass. In one form or another, it was fairly common on all habitable ecospheres in all universe. But this one was fricking huge.
“That is no meadow” proclaimed Dr. Proaxl, she was a female Qzaor and with her bodyless, misty physique and her unique mental skills she was fit to be in command for both our medical and scientific squads. “That is a field. It is indeed a subtype of grass, but I believe it’s a cultivated form, meant for feeding of thousands of individuals of an organized culture. Or dozens. It depends.”
“Depends on what?”
“On the size of that sentinent race’s individuals” she closed.
“How big can they be? I mean, this is a teeny weeny planet.”
“You are aware there are known microbiotic life forms in explored universe, that not like ourselfes breath carbon dioxide, but pure oxygen? Imagine there would be higher lifeforms, even sentinent ones, breathing oxygen.”
“That’s nature’s legitimate killer, the cause of every known destruction over time. How could a sentinent race breath that? And how’s that related to one’s size?”
“In contrary to our CO2 burning cells, those primitive oxygen breather are capable of extracting food’s inherent chemical energy up to four times as efficient. And in experiments it was clear, that the higher the atmosphere’s content of oxygen, the faster the growth of that cells. I do believe, if there is a higher life foarm based on this kind of cells, it’s size would be physically limited by the surrounding oxygen. And just think of the plants your race has cultivated for food, that grows in fields. How big is that compared to your own size?”
It felt like a glass of liquid oxygen was poured into all of my six breathing holes. This planet couldn’t be for real.

Humans Are Weird: Repellent

What if Earth wasn’t the only planet with mosquitos? Mosquitos are like a scourge to aliens, drinking blood and swarming around. Not to mention the possible diseases you can contract. So most planets with mosquitos were labeled uninhabitable and forgotten about, as they are nearly impossible to completely purge from a planet. That is, until humans come and start exploring all those “uninhabitable” planets that are perfect for them.

The Sentinel was a C-class explorer star ship, one of the first to explore the Beta Quadrant. It was part of the new Inter-Human Inclusion Program to help integrate humans into alien societies and familiarize species with one another. As such the Sentinel’s crew was roughly half and half, half human and half other aliens.

Today they were exploring planet S-00202B74, an organic planet with life and an atmosphere reliant on oxygen. The human crew had taken to nick-naming the planet Soo, saying the previous name was too long. The excursion crew contained two humans, Anna and Martin, and three aliens, Ja'rin, Urt'arg, and Kyr.

Soo was a swampy planet, 92 percent water but filled with life. Less than a minute after being on the planets porous surface, Anna suddenly smacked her arm angrily. “Why did you do that?!” Kyr exclaimed. A red handprint was forming on the woman’s bicep, but she smiled smugly. “Not to worry, just got a bloodsucker is all.” She wiped her palm on her leg. Ja'rin looked up fearfully, “A what now?” Martin waved his hand, “You know, mosquitos. I figured after leaving Earth I’d never have to see one again… .” He grimaced as he thought about it.

Ja'rin frantically looked at their exposed tentacles, “Oh no, we have to go back! These things eat you alive!” Anna came up to him, “Hey relax buddy, it’ll be fine! All we need is some bug spray.”

“Some what?”

“Insect repellant. You know, this stuff,” She said as she dug a small bottle out of her back pack. She uncapped it and sprayed the contents over her clothes, arms, and legs. “Pass it here,” Martin called. He repeated the strange ablutions. The normally quiet Urt'arg watched closely with their six blue eyes. “What is that?” they snorted. Martin replied, “It’s a chemical that repels bugs, makes it so they don’t want to bite you.”

Quite quickly for an alien with tentacles and not legs, Ja'rin was at the human’s side, “Could I borrow some? Please?” Martin resisted laughing, “Sure sure, but, hmm,” he looked at Ja'rin’s purplish tentacles, “maybe don’t use it directly on your skin. You absorb stuff really easily, and this might hurt you if you absorb too much.” Ja'rin hesitated now, “Hurt me? Why would that hurt me?”

Anna piped up, “I mean, it is poison after all. I think if you just put it on your uniform you’ll be okay.” Urt'arg’s globular eyes turned yellow and they garbled, “You- You put poison, just, all over you? To keep bugs off? Are you insane!?” Anna shrugged, “Hey, it’s a common thing on Earth. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want.”

None of the aliens took the offer to use the spray, but instead grabbed special suits from the ship. Oddly they didn’t touch either human until they returned to the Sentinel and washed.

The crew made their report to the Captain, Eisa and Muir, but Kyr stayed behind. “Captain, I have a report to add to the Human Manual. When in a hostile environment, more specifically one with aggressive insects, instead of fleeing or even putting on protective gear, humans will cover their bodies in poisonous chemicals to protect themselves.” Eisa blinked, and Muir asked, “I’m sorry, but what?” Kyr nodded, “On the mission, the planet had mosquitos! Instead of turning back, they just pulled out bottles of poison, like it was normal, and covered themselves in it. I guess it worked, they didn’t get bit after that, but I can’t believe they’d do that. It seems dangerous,” Eisa-Muir stood up with a sigh, their two heads having a silent conversation and sharing a look. “Thank you for the report,” Muir said. “You are dismissed,” said Eisa.

After Kyr left, Muir thought to Eisa, “What have we gotten ourselves into?”

(If anyone wants to, you can add to this. I know my writing is below par, sorry)

The Runaway Ballerina

Pairing: Dean x sister!reader, Sam x sister!reader, some Cas 

Warnings: Fluff

Summary: Reader has been hexed by witch that turned her into a toddler, and a jealous Dean becomes very annoyed. 

A/N: I hit 100 followers, so in honor of that I’ll be posting some imagines so if you guys have any request send them down and I’ll try my best.


Part 2

Originally posted by helvonasche


Sam and Dean sit in baby staring at their once 25 year old sister who was now 4 years old in a ballerina outfit because that’s what she picked out at the store when they needed to buy her clothes. The previous hunt they were on Y/N got hit by some weird powder by a witch and Dean woke up the following morning to a tiny hand on his face.

“Why do you guys keeping wooking at me weird?” She ask looking between them. “You’re just so tiny.” Sam smiles. “She’s so cute!” Sam adds looking at Dean. “Yeah, I remember.” He mumbles as they get out the car to go food shopping for the bunker.

“Come on Y/N.” Sam chimes as he opens the back door for her. He holds her hand as they cross the street to the store. She lets go and runs to the shopping carts to grab one. They stand there watching her struggle to get one cart out because they were stuck together. (Don’t you just hate that) “I got it.” Sam chuckles getting it. As they walk in store Y/N skips ahead next to Dean to hold his hand but he keeps moving his hand so she can’t grab it.

“I don’t wanna hold your hand, thanks. I don’t wanna hold your hand.” He argues. She frowns and grabs a hold of his hand and grips it tight. “Ow, ow, let go of my hand.” He growls. “That hurts.” He glares down at her. She whimpers and peeks over to Sam who looks down at her. “What’s wrong bug?”

“Dean won’t hold my hand.” Y/N pouts. Sam gives Dean his signature bitch face and Dean grunts and grabs her hand. “She always did this before.” He mumbles but Sam just chuckles shaking his head. “Why did you choose a costume?” Dean ask looking at her ballerina outfit. “It’s not a costume it’s my protective gear.”

“How’s a ballerina costume suppose to protect you?”

“Are you crazy who wants to hurt a ballewina?” She protest. “Other ballerinas.” Dean shrugs. Once Dean had enough he throws Y/N in the seat of the cart and she rambles to Sam who too eventually has enough of her talk of Princes and fairies and he gives her his iPod. She bops her head and swings her hanging legs accidentally kicking Sam once in awhile listening to music as they get to the register. “Can I has some lime jerky?” She ask pointing down below to the candy and jerky. Sam is about to protest remembering her eating habit but Dean holds his hand up to stop him. “Your remember how she was when she didn’t get things. She whined and whined.” Sam grabs the jerky and puts it down with the of stuff and Y/N smiles. The ride to the bunker is an half hour away and Y/N becomes very impatient.

“Are we there yet?” She grunts tugging on her seatbelt. “We get there when we get there Y/N.” Dean answers annoyed. “Why do you have to be such a meany?” She yells. Sam stops Dean before he can even talk back. “Hey princess let’s play a game.” Sam says turning around in his seat. “Okay!”

“Let’s play the license plate game.”

“Yay okay!” Y/N props herself on the seat and looks out the window. There isn’t much cars on the road and she eventually falls asleep from boredom. When they arrive Sam carries Y/N down the stairs seeing Cas sitting in the war room. “Who’s the child?” He questions noticing a sleeping Y/N in Sam’s arms.

“Cas it’s Y/N.” He chuckles. “Y/N isn’t two feet tall.”

“She got hit by some mumbo jumbo powder and now she’s four years old so we need to find a way to reverse it.” Dean explains as they walk to the kitchen. “Cas would you mind taking her to her room?” Sam ask. Cas hesitates at first and nods. Sam passes her gently so she doesn’t wake up. She stirs in Cas’s arms for a moment and becomes still again. He takes her to her room settling her down on the bed. He admires her small body seeing fully that it clearly was Y/N. He remembers Y/N showing him some pictures of her and boys when they were younger.

An hour goes passed and the boys sit in the library reading some books. “Do children usually nap for this long?” Cas questions. “You have a point totally forgot. She’s too quiet now that I realize.” Sam intervenes. “Oh no.” Dean mumbles getting up. “What? What is it?” Cas questions following them to the kitchen.

“Whenever Y/N was quiet it meant that she’s was either hiding something or she’s going through the pantry for cand—”

Sure enough when they reach the kitchen they see a stash of candy wrappers opened along with other snacks, but that wasn’t the problem. This was Dean’s secret stash. “Son of bitch.” He stomps his boot. “If she throws up, I’m blaming you!”  Dean scolds at Sam with a pointed finger. They go into the hallways to look for her. “Y/N!” Dean screams. He goes to her room not seeing her there and is about to leave till he hears shuffling from the closet. He slowly walks up to the closet grabbing the door knobs and swings them open spotting the little ballerina with a chocolate stained mouth.

“THERE YOU ARE!” She screams crawling through Deans legs and makes a run for it in the hallway.

“Sammy get her!” He screams. Sam sees a small body dart across the hallway. He runs after her but loses her once he turns the corner. Five minutes go by and Dean doesn’t find her. “I’m tried of playing games Y/N come out now or it’s time out for you!” After three minutes of searching he meets in the war room with Sam. “She’s in so much trouble!” Dean grunts. “Dean, why are you so mad at her?”


“She ate my stuff!”

“No, not that. I mean ever since she turned you’ve been a meany like she said what’s up with that?” Dean doesn’t answer and looks away. Sam stands there waiting for the answer. Dean mumbles something inaudible he can’t hear. “What?”

“I said she likes you better then me.” He confesses. “Dean, what are you talking about?” He sighs before he answers.

“Every since Y/N was little she always liked you best. She was stuck to you like glue.” Sam stands there in shock. “Dean, she loves you a lot you know?” He raises an eyebrow hearing this. “Anytime you and dad were gone Y/N never shut about you. Asking me all these questions about cars and bugging me when you were gonna be back and how excited she was to learn  how to gank monsters from her big brother. Besides you too spend a bunch of time together now. Why is this affecting you?”

“Is that true?”

“Yes, I was kinda jealous because I thought she liked you more. And to be honest I’m a little jealous. You guys have a closer bond than I have with her now.” Sam admits. Suddenly Cas emerges into the war room carrying a crying Y/N. “What happened?” Sam ask. “Well when I was chasing her down she fell and hurt her knee.” He lifts her leg up showing the ripped pink unitard with a cut that is now bleeding just a little and the torn tutu. He goes to hand her to Sam’s out stretched arms but she whimpers rejecting him.


“I want Dean.” She whimpers crying. Dean lifts his head up hearing this and gets a good look at his baby sister. Her arms reached out for him leaning away from Cas. Her eyes puffy and red from crying. Dean realizes that he’s been so stupid that he didn’t need to be jealous, because him and Y/N get along perfect now when she’s not a toddler. She whimpers putting her arms down thinking her big brother yet again is rejecting her today until he reaches out for her and she quickly wraps her arms around his neck. “You okay?” He ask softly wiping her tear stained face. “No.” Y/N croaks shaking her head and he takes her to his room. He sets her down on his bed and helps her in one of his t-shirts after cleaning her face.


“I’m sorry I ate your candy.” She apologies in her small voice. “No, I’m sorry for being a meany today, I was just jealous.”

“Why?” She ask with a tilt of her head.

“It’s a long story. But let’s get a bandaid on this shall we?” He gets the first aid kit and cleans her scratch up. “Tank you.” She says once he’s finished. “Dean.” She calls out to him when he puts the stuff away. “Yeah?”

“Can we watch some cowboy movies?” He smiles at this and nods his head. “Sure thing sweetheart.” He sets the movie in his room while Cas helps her pop the popcorn. Half way through the movie Y/N starts falling asleep. He looks down under his arm seeing Y/N falling asleep with a piece of popcorn hanging of her bottom lip. “Getting sleepy there?” He lays down with her pulling the blanket up. “Frectles.” She mumbles. “What?” She puts one tiny finger in his face and says it again. “Frectles.” He frowns then gasp realizing what she meant. “You mean freckles.” He chuckles. “Yeah you has those.”

A/N: Would you guys like a Part 2?

imagine surviving a zombie outbreak with jungkook.

Originally posted by donewithjeon

—obviously inspired by dead days.

  • the day they announced it a pandemic jungkook rushed home from school and waited for his parents to come home; they never did.
  • he’s among the first to realise if he wants help his best bet is to go out there and find it.
  • also he’s hopeless at rationing food, so he has to get moving soon.
  • having observed the undead from his window, jungkook knows he’ll have to kill to survive, and after seeing what they’re capable of he quickly comes to terms with that fact.
  • meaning his neighbour’s beagle somehow got out on day three, so on day four he drops his dad’s bowling ball from the balcony onto the head of the zombie that killed it.
  • and after his first kill spends the day dissociating and dry-heaving.
  • when over a week has passed he packs necessities and what little food he has left and straps on a few pieces of protective gear, left over from sports he’s played over the years, opting for maximum mobility.
  • those necessities include: all the wet wipes, antiperspirant, toothbrush, toothpaste, clean shirts, soap, first aid kit, his mother’s perfume.
  • jeon jungkook, nicest smelling boy in the entire zombie apocalypse.
  • because that’s how he clings to his humanity, to the remnants of civilisation: hygiene.
  • he’ll eat actual garbage but he’s gotta feel clean while doing it.
  • everyone’s got their Thing, and that’s his.
  • anyway after the chaos of that first week a deafening silence settles in the building you live in. so when you hear one of the doors to the stairwell open, you immediately rush to the peephole to see who’s stupid enough to venture into the stairwell.
  • of course it’s jungkook.
  • you go to the same school as jungkook, and while he may not know you, he has quite the reputation himself, as far as beating almost every sporting record he set his mind to goes, except archery.
  • when he passes by you call out to him through the door and the poor boy nearly shits himself. he’s still there though, when you open the door and tell him you know him from school.
  • you let him in and, much to your surprise, he seems to recognise you, he even gets your name right on the second try.
  • you’re in the same situation as him, all alone and beginning to lose hope that help would eventually come, you had even begun preparing to leave.
  • your dad had taken the bike to work that fateful morning one week ago and now you hold up his car-keys for jungkook to see, “can you drive?”
  • “i can try,” jungkook never got the chance to pass his test, but he’s your best bet, just as you’re his.
  • and that’s how you two end up more or less driving off into the sunset together, to survive another day.
  • “wait, was it you who dropped that bowling ball on mr. evans from 81b?”
  • you’re in charge of rations, because jungkook is not to be trusted around the food and he’s not too proud to admit it.
  • he deadass wants to go live in the mountains until all this has passed and you’re like ?? i’m not starving to death jeon forget it.
  • you constantly have to remind him he’s not bear grylls.
  • which isn’t easy because he’s somehow got eagle scout level survivor skills despite only having been camping like once when he was five.
  • and honES TL Y the legs on this boy, good luck keeping up with him it’d be quicker if he carried you everywhere.
  • on that note he carries you on his back whenever you’re tired or injured.
  • and he still finds time to be childish and playful. 
  • there’s a tree in your path? you bet he’s gonna fucking climb it. passing an abandoned playground? before you can blink he’s on the jungle gym like “look at me!!!!!!”
  • will insists he’s “scouting.”
  • and it’s the little things that keep you sane. jungkook wanted to be a singer and when he feels safe has a tendency to hum and sing to himself.
  • insists he needs less sleep than you so he always takes first watch, and when you can’t sleep you coax him into singing for you.
  • just kinda vocalises his way through the lyrics he doesn’t remember, because he has no way of looking them up. and also through the sexual lyrics because welp awkward.
  • eventually you know his entire repertoire and can even make requests.
  • he exercises to stay awake. like, you wake up in the middle of the night because you think you heard a zombie groan but it’s just jungkook doing sit-ups next to you.
  • senses you stirring and starts muttering “hundred and six, hundred and seven, hundred and-” but let’s be real he only did like, eleven.
  • also otherwise doing press-ups whenever he finds a flat, uncluttered surface. where’s jeon ?? probably on the ground around here somewhere like “ah, this is tiring.”
  • and you’re like “how?? why?? you’ve only had a can of tuna to eat in two days, where do you even get the energy??”
  • “gotta stay in shape if i’m gonna keep saving your clumsy ass.”
  • he’s so apprehensive of the other survivors you cross paths with some of them genuinely thought he was mute.
  • until they try to separate the two of you because jungkook is not fucking having that no way do you wanna wrestle or what
  • imagine you get to shower for the first time in a while and jungkook insists you go first because he’ll just use all the water, so you suggest you just shower together and make the best of what little water you have.
  • can’t look you in the eyes for a while after that because he’s seen you naked now and you smell nicer than you have in weeks.
  • imagine huddling for warmth, and cuddling for comfort.
  • or patching him up after another close call.
  • you have to be the responsible one, the decisive one, but in return jungkook will be your rock, your protector, steadfast and strong, never cracking under pressure, not even the weight of the world ending can faze him when he has you to worry about.
  • it doesn’t take long for him to realise that he could never leave you behind. he’ll carry you to the literal end of the world if he has to, doesn’t matter if it kills him; he’s not facing the apocalypse without you.
  • after almost losing you once, he confesses that the way he sees it he has no reason to carry on without you. he lives and survives to protect you.
  • never whines that he’s hungry or tired, because he knows you are too. he might complain that his clothes smell, or that he hasn’t washed in a while, but whenever you ask if he’s alright the answer is always going to be that he’s “okay if you are.”
Expedition to Sol2487-3 Pt. 2

The first encounter with life on Sol2487-3 - we called it “weeny wacky mudpot”, at least for the time being - would proof itself as one of the most gruesome experiences of my life.
We enterd the “field”, as Dr. Proaxl named it, but in fact it was a jungle. The stems of that cultivated grass reached far into the sky, almost as far as anyone could see. The soil underneath was brown, crumbling, muddy, and smelled like a space corps’ field latrine in Pjörecian summer.
Our expedition platoon consisted of in total four security squads members, including Loxxar Kraes, respectively two members of both medical and scientific squad, on top of that Dr. Proaxl, my first mate Xato Nexgrra and myself. Eleven trained and experienced ambassadors of the Intergalactic Federation of Peace in Space, half of our ship’s crew. The other half stood behind and secured the ship.

As we ranged the woods, suddenly a creature stepped out of the shadows. Our first encounter! Following the protocoll, we stayed alerted, but calm and peacefully. The creature was about our size, quite round and, well, fluffy. Its skin looked like it was covered of billions of the Grdklean Firewrappers poisonous prickles - hopefully it wasn’t as toxic as them. But our protective gear should grant our safety.
The creature approached us on all four of its limbs, and began to collect grains that were scatterd around the ground and nibbled peacefully on them while it peered at us. Its eyes were dark and round and full of… nothingness. Did it even see us? Did it even comprehend the fact that it had encountered life from outer space? This one clearly couldn’t be one of this planet’s sentinent races. I at least couldn’t remember of any sentinent race that used the same limbs for running as for eating. And this empty glance, uninvolved to anything on this planet and propably the entire universe and… for Xaleates’ sake, just how many of that grains could this thing fit in its cheeks?!
“Look how it’s stuffing itself” smirked Loxxar Kraes, “those grains must be quite delicious. Maybe we should take some, to…” As soon as he reached for one of the grains, the gates of Xyrrhos hells opened. The creature, just a second before dispassionate as a rock, jumped at him like a rabid Rjurcean Brooax. Fangs as long as my head burrowed into Loxxar Kraes’ breastplate. Fortunately it was designed for and tested in outer space, so there was no way it… it just broke. That beast just bit through one of the toughest armors the IFPS could provide.
Loxxar Kraes screamed in pain, but was soldier enough to take his gun and shoot the damn monster in the face.
I nearly had forgotten my position, as I pulled my gun and screamed on top of my breathing diaphragms “Fire! Fire! With all you’ve got!”
Beams of blazing hot plasma and bolts of concentrated electric energy whooshed through the air and hit the creature hard. It squeeked in such a high pitched tone and absurd enormous volume, that three of our team’s members - one security and both of the scientists - fainted immediately. But thank Xaleates the beast fled, leaving a scent behind that was even worse than the latrine soil we stood in.

“Status?”
“He is alive” answered Dr. Proaxl, “at least for now. If we returned to our ship, we could stabilize and propably save him, unless…”
“Unless?” I asked nervously.
“Unless those spineless worms that prefer crouching through the mud rather than helping in medical care of a wounded comrade can’t pull themselfes up again!” she vituperated against the collapsed crew, especially her own squad members.
The scolded ones flinched concerned, regardless the circumstance that Dr. Proaxl was the only one around who as a matter of fact had not a spine.
“Ok everyone” I commanded, “return to the ship! Weapons at the ready and all organs of perception at work!”

We retreated as fast as Loxxar Kraes’ condition allowed. But as we reached the edge of the street, the next monster awaited us.
Right on top of our ship sat - IT FRICKIN’ SAT! ON MY SHIP! - a monstrousity unheard of. Not even the scariest tales of my homeworld’s pitchblack mythology would have prepared me for this nightmare. A creature, covered in dozens of long spikes, each of them encircled with black filaments, like leafs of a tree. And its size. It was as tall as half of my crew stacked over each other. Its two limbs each branched into four roots, three in front and one in the back, wrapped around the ships hull and left screaching deep scratches, for the giant claw at the end of each root, that would have put the ceremonial weaponry of the IFPS’ guards of honour at blank shame. Its head alone was formed like an ancient weapon, a gigantic spear, meant to impale one’s body at whole. And its eye. It was gigantic, wide opened, deep as the wide darkness of space itself, but nothing compared to that earlier one’s eyes. This here seemed terrific intelligent. It fixated us with its cold, taxing glance. Suddenly, from one second to the other, the giant turned its head and showed us another eye, identic to the other one. It even bent its neck and stared down to us. It was horrific intimidating. Through the windows of the ship I could see the rest of my crew, shuddering of fear.
Then the beast unbended two additional limbs one couldn’t have expected, it stretched those extremities as if it wanted to cover the sun and bring neverending darkness upon us. We could feel how the ground was shaking and from afar rumbling thunder approached to us. This was an incarnation of Xyrrhos himself and he was about to bring us doom. Then with a clash of its gigantic black limbs it jumped - No! It pressed the air beneth it! - it flew! It genuinly flew! Without any recognizable device, it flew! Away.
“What at my progenitor’s lappets was that?!” whispered Xato Nexgrra.
Then, the doom struck.

A mountain, taller than you could see, faster as you could think, with deafening uproar scorched through, black and silver linings hasted through my sights, a screaching noise of ripping metal echoed in my ears. Blazing storms dragged me along, hundreds of steps away from the point I stood before. When I could pull myself up again, the unimaginable had happened. My ship was gone. Obliterated. Pulverised. Half of my crew, shreds in the blasting winds. Exterminated by a might incomprehensable to my thoughts.

“This isn’t weeny wacky mudpot any longer. This is… Devil’s Playground.”

live-action batman adaptations rated by bat-ears

an old-fashioned bat, before he had the tech to make actual protective gear and roamed the streets of gotham in true cosplay. ears a bit flimsy and asymmetrical, but endearing. 6/10

a significant increase in protection and durability, but the miniscule ear length leaves this cowl lacking in battitude. also looks like someone drew eyebrows on it with a sharpie. 2/10

say what you want about the lack of mobility, this cowl has some nice ears! who cares about turning your neck when you can just stab your opponent with these babies? 9/10

the fancy ears are the only saving grace of this unnatural disaster, and even that’s not enough. 0.00001/10

mediocre. though certainly evoking the classic image of the dark knight, this cowl with it’s short ears and rounded features makes for a less prominent batman profile. 5/10

disappointing in every aspect, especially ear length and shape. 0/10

ok, I know I said this was about live-action batman adaptations but listen,, these adorable micro-sized ears are attached to the purest batman in all of dc history. just look at that smile. I’d walk through a lego minefield of those tiny deadly ear spikes just to preserve this man’s happiness. 50/10. please tell him I love him.

“I don’t like to be handed things.”

Can we talk about the implications of those words? Like, what happened to Tony that made him weary of taking something from someone else’s hands? Is it just a weird quirk, one of those things that people have but can’t explain? Or is it something more.

Like just imagine:

Young Tony Stark, so desperate for his fathers attention, would do anything he could to spend time with his father. So imagine young Tony, helping his father in the lab, but because Howard is Howard he doesn’t treat Tony like a kid, he just treats Tony as he would any other genius assistant.

“Here, hold this,” he says, as he holds out a soldering iron by the hot end. Howard had never given Tony any protective gear and Tony don’t want to irritate his father by pointing this out and risk getting kicked out of the lab, not able to help anymore. So he takes it. It burns like nothing he’s ever felt before, and he fights against the reflexive urge to drop it, to cry out and cradle his hand. He puts it down calmly and uses his shoulder to wipe away the tears before Howard can notice. Howard has already moved on.

Jarvis tisks over the burns as he bandages them later, pursing his lips, but he doesn’t say anything because he knows Howard would never listen and this is one of the few ways he’ll spend anytime with his son. And it’s not his place because, unfortunately, young Master Anthony is not his is child.

Tony’s older now. Fourteen. Away at MIT, away from his fathers disapproving stares, away from Maria’s despondent smiles as she lays in bed, unable to gather the energy to face the day, away from that look Jarvis gets on his face whenever Howard starts to talk about Captain Rogers again.

He’s at a party, surrounded by people, surrounded by girls - and some boys - beautiful people who give Tony attention, affection, something he’s never had before so he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He’s already had a few drinks and is a little tipsy, but he’s fine. A few drinks never hurt anybody. “Puts some hair on your chest,” he remembers his father saying when he was younger, eleven maybe twelve, pressing a glass of iced amber liquid into his hand.

A boy comes over and presses a drink into his hand. Stone, he thinks his name is, Tiberius Stone. He seemed nice, had been kind to Tony when he first arrived a couple months ago, younger than his peers and afraid of rejection. “Drink this,” Ty says, “it’ll make you feel better.” He takes it and drinks and the rest of the night is a blur, he doesn’t remember much after that, but he does remember waking up in a room he doesn’t recognize with no memory of how he got there.

It’s the little things that add up, he thinks, when suddenly one day he’s looking down at the file in his new assistants hand - Pepper, he thinks, but he knows that’s not her real name - and he can’t bring himself to take it. It’s harmless, a simple paper file and all he has to do it sign it. And he knows he can trust this girl, hired her himself after she barged into his office with - or technically without - the threat of pepper spray to his security. But the thought of lifting his hand makes his stomach turn, makes his body grow cold, and he can’t figure out why suddenly reaching out and taking a file from someone’s hand is now such a struggle.

“I don’t like to be handed things,” he says slowly, eyeing the file and trying to relax his body.

Pepper doesn’t seem to notice his struggle, simply putting the folder down on the desk by his hand, moving on to the next item on her list. She brushes it off as one of those weird billionaire eccentricities and doesn’t question it again.

~

Weird billionaire quirk or learned aversive behavior stemming from a subconscious fear of being harmed by those around him? I think about this all the time.

Two Can Play - Jaehyun

*Competitive nature takes a turn into something more intense.


anon request

Characters: Jaehyun, Reader

Pairing: Jaehyun/Reader

Genre: Smut // M

Word Count: 5.1K


“I’m going to make you eat fucking dirt, Jaehyun,” you growled, setting your feet apart and bending slightly, ready for the set that you were sure would come your way.

He stood just opposite to you, only a couple of feet away and blocked by the hatch-marked lines of the decrepit volleyball net. His smirk was a concoction of tantalizing and infuriating, one dimple caving in his cheek with a description only definable as ‘cute’. It pissed you off. He raised his eyebrows at you, cracking his fingers in theatrical preparation.

“Please, sweetheart, we both know you’re at a disadvantage,” he chuckled, reaching across and upwards to twist a fraying string with his two fingers, the white straggler wrapping around the pale, lithe digits.

Keep reading

How to protect yourself from chemical agents, and what to do if you’ve been pepper sprayed.

Are you counterprotesting racists this weekend? Be prepared for pepper spray.

An excerpt from “Defend the Territory! Tactics and Techniques for Countering Police Assaults on Indigenous Communities”.


Protective Gear for Chemical Agents

“A minimum defence against chemical agents is the use of eye goggles and a covering over the nose and mouth (such as a bandana or mask).   This is greatly improved with a filter mask in place of the bandana.  The most effective protection against chemical agents is a military issue gasmask. 

Goggles:  Goggles vary from those used in swimming to skiing goggles or workshop-type eye protection goggles. Swimming goggles and other types that form a tight barrier around the eyes, thereby keeping out chemical   agents,also have a tendency to fog up. Those with small air holes along the side and top rim fog up less, but can allow small droplets of chemical agents into the eye area.

Bandana:  Improvised protection against tear gas has included goggles (the type that seal around the eyes and have no small airholes) along with a bandana soaked in apple-cider vinegar. The bandana can be carried in Zip-loc bags until needed.  A bottle of apple-cider vinegar should be carried in a group, as the bandana can become dried out.  Any piece of suitably sized cloth can be used in place of a bandana.

Filter mask:  These are usually half face masks that cover the nose and mouth, with filters that can be replaced. They can be acquired from hardware and industrial supply stores, for uses such as aerosol painting, renovations, or jobs producing large amounts of dust.  An average cost is $25.  A recommended mask is the 3M half mask filter with a P100 filter (P100 is a recommended rating for CS, CN, and OC chemical agents). Goggles must be worn with a half face mask to protect the eyes. Full face mask versions are   also available, although more expensive.

Gas mask:  The best type of protection against chemical agentsis a full-face gas mask,such as those found in military surplus stores ori ndustrial supply stores.Common military gasmasks available include the Canadian Forces issued C4 version (no longer in production),as well as Israeli civilian gas masks.  Prices are usually around$50 or more for a military gas mask in surplus stores. 


First Aid for chemical agents


Eye/face   wash:  The  most  common  and  readily available treatment for chemical agents is flushing the eyes and face with water.  A water bottle with a small cap and which is squeezable is recommended, as this produces a stronger stream of water. (Note: do not use hot water as this will open the skin pores and increase severity of chemical agents - eds.) When flushing the eyes, the head should be tilted to the side so that contaminated water can flow off the face. Street medics often use a diluted liquid antacid solution,usually Maalox. The mix is half water, half Maalox.  It is placed in a squeezable bottle, and used in the same way as water. Along with the eyes, it is also important to wash off any chemical agents that has landed on exposed skin. Failure to do so can result in blistering of the skin.Sudecon is a decontamination wipe produced by FoxLabs (who also make pepper spray), often used by police and paramedics for CS, CN, and OC agents.  It comes in a small foil pouch and opens to a towelette 8 X 12 inches in size. The manufacturer recommends two wipes be used per casualty, andclaims to enable recovery after 7 to 15 minutes.  A Sudecon wipecosts approx. $2 each. Vexor produces an OC First Aid towelette that is similar to Sudecon.Fresh air: The casualty should be removed from the area if possible, and preferably placed in a cool, windy location.

Decontamination:  Any contaminated clothing and gear should be removed as soon as practical and placed in a garbage bag.  Contaminated clothing can later be cleaned in a washing machine, while packs etc., can be scrubbed with soapy water. If this is not done, wherever the casualty  and/or their gear goes   will become contaminated with the chemical agent (such as vehicles,rooms, tents, etc).  If possible, the casualty should also shower as soon as possible to remove chemical agents from the skin and hair.”

(Note: when removing clothing, if possible do not lift shirt over eyes, as this may increase eye exposure to chemical agents. Cut off shirt instead. - eds.)