I feel bad for Yukio and I know a bunch of people hate him/ are starting to dislike him due to how he’s been acting throughout the manga, but this chapter makes me sad for him, Rin and Shiemi.
a few spoilers are below the cut for those who have not read the chapter
He reads and finds out all the stuff Ryuji and lighting find out but he’s not satisfied with it probably because it wasn’t really what he was looking for. He didn’t get the information on his mother he thought he would, just the experiments the order was doing. This causing him to realize the the Illuminati and True cross are equally fucked up organizations.
I cant imagine being in his shoes right now. Starting at such a young age the training and emotional toll he endured for an organization he thought was preventing people like the Illuminati from doing corrupt stuff is just as bad, but more secretive about it.
His whole life dedicated to protecting others and helping in the fight against demons and protecting his brother Rin, being one of the sons of Satan, who inherited his powers and having his line always on that thin line of foe or friend for the True Cross. I can imagine my stress levels being through the roof if the only person I can truly say is blood, is always on the verge of being executed in a blink of an eye.
Even at the very beginning of his training for the True Cross we see that Shiro (vaguely) says “Hey how about joining the fight and getting to protect your big bro”
Which the hatred for rin developed.
Rin never had to stress about exams and physical training to meet the Order’s requirments to become an exorcist. Rin didn’t have that great of a childhood but his bullying wasn’t as great of a burden that Yukio endured. Yukio early on had the idea that “You are your brother’s protector” so even at the end of the Impure King battle the anger and violence towards Rin is kinda acceptical. Yes Rin help defeat the Impure King and he managed to finally get his Powers under control, but Yukio is looking at it almost through the Order’s eyes. Beat one big demon but who’s to say he won’t be conviced by Lucifer and join them? Can we truly trust him and risk his powers be used against us? Maybe seeing how great his powers are scare the True Cross and they rather dispose of him and never take that risk of him turning against them.
Yukio is so burried in multiple responsibilities, being a exorcist, going to high school, teaching exorcism classes, he probably is trying to get all the Meisters titles like Shiro and above all that the constant watching over Rin and the rest of the Exwires (mostly Rin).
With all of this we get to see and understand why he feels so lonely. He didn’t get to go out and get into trouble and do what kids do. He probably had some free time but you have to think about how Yukio always had those responsibilities at the back of his head. He never really got to be innocent and live freely, he always had a goal to reach.
So going to Shiemi when he has no where else to go, her being the one person who I truly believe brings peace to him, it’s sad that he can’t even count her as a friend. He met her through his training cause of the shop that her mother runs and he tells her “ Just for a little”. Then goes to confess his loneliness.
He knows that Shiemi isn’t the best with giving advice, but he still tells her. I doubt he was really looking for her to say some wise words to help him, I think he just wanted some affection, just someone who he knows won’t really pry him for answers on his recent behaviour. Just someone who will let him try to shut out his mind for just a second. Which she does until she tries to comfort him by telling him that her and Rin are there for him. With the recent build up of self hatred and hatred towards his brother he quickly snaps out of his depressed state and snaps at her.
Imma break this up with other posts so yea stay tuned if ya want