Imagine Person A beginning to doze off while Person B is holding them. Person B whispers “I’ll protect you” and Person A tiredly mumbles “From what?” Person B thinks for a moment and says “I don’t know. Anything.”
So, I got a lot of really positive
feedback about my post about salt in witchcraft, so here’s another one just for
you about iron!
Iron, like salt, has been used for many
thousands of years as a potent tool in the practices of witchcraft. Iron is one
of the most abundant metals in our planet, and is also a really great metal for
making into tools. It’s tough, hard, ductile and with a high melting point that
makes it ideal for situations in which you might need a tool to work under
extremely hot conditions. It’s also one of only three ferromagnetic metals
(along with nickel and cobalt), making it an essential part of most magnets and
In astrophysics, iron is extremely
important in the life cycle of stars. Iron is one of the most atomically stable
substances in the universe, and it’s also unique because it’s the first element
in the periodic table to require more energy to MAKE it than it gives out from
atomic fusion. This is important, because when a star gets older and fuses
hydrogen to make helium, helium to make beryllium and all the rest, once it
starts fusing atoms to make iron, the star begins to die. So, iron is an
element that signals the death of stars, and any element that weighs MORE than
iron (atomically speaking) can only be made in supernovas - that is, the
explosion that takes place when a really BIG star dies.
In biology, iron is one of the most
important elements in mammalian, reptilian and avian blood, because it’s the
element that we use in the chemical haemoglobin. This is the chemical in our
blood cells that binds to oxygen and keeps us alive. Crustaceans like lobsters
don’t use iron - they use copper, and instead make haemocyanin, which makes
their blood blue! However, just like in stars, iron can mean death for humans
as well. If we overdose on iron, we suffer from iron heavy metal poisoning;
when we get crushed by a heavy object we can suffer a disease called traumatic
rhabdomyolysis or Crush Syndrome, caused by vast amounts of myoglobin (another iron-based
compound, found in muscles, which gives them extra oxygen to use) entering our kidneys and killing them, and as a
result killing us.
Iron in science is an element of life,
death, and of many points in between. But what about its uses in witchcraft?
Witchy Facts about Iron!
Iron is stable. Iron’s stability,
both atomically and magickally, makes it a fantastic magickal conductor, and
also means that magick doesn’t seem to affect iron very much. Enchantments on
iron are never as strong as on other metals, and even the best witches will
have difficulty making an enchantment or other spell anchor properly. However,
this has the advantage that iron doesn’t pick up negative magick from
background sources, and it’s extremely unlikely that there will be issues with
ritual or altar tools made from iron. Keeping your magickal supplies inside an
iron or steel box, or a box that’s been nailed together with iron nails, will
prevent them from leaking out and attracting spirits that might cause harm.
Iron is protective. Along with
silver and a few other little bits and bobs, negative spirits and fae folk
cannot touch iron lest it burn them and cause them pain. Additionally, negative
magicks targetted at someone wearing an iron pendant will be attracted into the
pendant and then dispelled. This makes it an ideal protective charm for
everyday carry or everyday wear. This is why horseshoes are considered
lucky - back in Medieval times, when protection
against negative spirits and magick was much more widely practiced, poor
families would often be unable to afford much iron. However, a horseshoe is
made of iron, and comes with holes already cast into it, which allow you to
nail one over your door easily, which keeps out harmful spirits, magick, and
fae, who might seek to hurt you or your family.
Iron is inconspicuous. Anyone can
carry an iron nail after all, and a little piece of iron wrought and twisted
into a small pendant is far from a traditional witch’s item. Those secret
witches who perhaps do not live with accepting families or within an accepting
community or country can find great solace in the use of iron as a protective
Iron is cheap. Iron nails, iron
rods and iron knifes are pretty easy to get hold of and relatively quite cheap.
They’re versatile and not especially likely to draw attention to you - after
all, nobody’s likely to question why someone has a couple of iron nails twisted
into a pendant, and if they do question it, why it’s just an artistic display!
And of course, easy to replace with $5 worth of string, iron and a hammer.
Iron is ancient. Iron is one of the
oldest protective charms out there, right up with salt and sage. It’s been used
for literally thousands of years to protect people against everything from
wolves to armies to poltergeists. That’s a pretty impressive history!
Iron is practical! The best
cookware I’ve ever used has always been my cast iron cookware set, which makes
better food than I’ve ever tasted, and it’s very easy to clean. It’s also
extremely hardwearing - I wholly expect to one day be able to pass on my cast
iron frying pan and wok to my grandchildren, and it was already been owned by
my mother and father before me. Iron knifes are sharper and cut cleaner than
almost anything except obsidian, and high-carbon steel (an alloy of iron and
carbon) is the best cutting edge known in bushcrafting circles, where all the
best knives are made from it
I hope this helps all you lovely witches and magick users out there!
you’re Kirk’s wife and is close to all the crew, especially Spock, Bones and Scotty. Jim is worried about your safety on the Enterprise so he gets an officer to teach you self-defence. However the officer has a grudge on Kirk and takes it out on the reader who has too much pride to admit what’s going on. So when the boys find out, they go into overprotective mode.
“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Jim asked, holding your elbow as you stood outside the door to the gym. Jim had been worrying over you since you had first stepped foot onto the Enterprise.
“I’ll be fine. Now will you please get back to the bridge before this ship falls into disrepair” you teased, kissing his cheek and pushing him away.
“Alright! Alright! I’m going! Comm me when you’ve finished” Jim chuckled, watching you go through into the gym before heading to the bridge. He did have work to do, no matter how much he’d be distracted until you came back.
“Officer LaRue? I’m Ensign Kirk, the Captain said you would be able to teach me some self-defence classes” you introduced, walking up to the rather large officer. You couldn’t help but feel a little bit apprehensive about the class. He was so much bigger than you.
“You’re the Captain’s wife?” he asked, running his eyes up and down you, sizing you up. It did nothing to help soothe the butterflies in your stomach.
“Technically yes but I think you’re meant to call me Ensign” you corrected, bouncing on the balls of your feet. You always felt embarrassed when people found out your connection to Jim. No embarrassed was the wrong word, nervous. Yes that was it, nervous in case they thought you had gotten into the Enterprise because of your husband. When instead it was because of all your hard work.
LaRue shrugged, beginning to get out some equipment. “I don’t care. We should get started. I expect you to work hard and keep up with me. I’m not going to go easy on you because you’re a girl” LaRue grumbled, as you bristled at that. It was fair though, you wanted to prove that you could handle being on the Enterprise. So if LaRue was your best chance, you would take it.
“So why aren’t you teaching her Captain?” Scotty asked, poking at his salad. Bones had put him on a diet, much to the irritation of the engineer.
“Because the Captain would hate to see Ensign Kirk hurt” Spock replied, going through his data pad.
“More like he’d get distracted too much” Bones scoffed, eating his sandwich with relish as he stared at a gaping Scotty.
Jim rolled his eyes, glancing at his comm link in hope he had a message. “Shut up Bones! I just want to make sure Y/N is going to be okay on the ship. Especially as everyone knows that she’s my wife” Jim shrugged, putting him comm down a little bit too forcefully.
“No one would harm Y/N Captain” Spock assured, typing away.
“Hey!” You greeted, sitting beside Jim in the canteen. Honestly you were exhausted and you felt so sore. LaRue did not go easy on you at all, even considering that this was your first time.
“Hey how was it?” Jim grinned, kissing your cheek as he wrapped an arm round you to bring you closer to him.
You groaned, resting your head on his shoulder.
“Good but I’m aching all over. Like in places I didn’t know should ever hurt” you grumbled, shaking your head. Honestly your arms ached, your legs were killing and you didn’t even want to know what was going on with your back.
“Maybe you should have a medical” Bones suggested, reaching for his drink.
“No thanks, Bones! I’m pretty sure I’m fine” you quickly cried, making Jim scoff into his lunch. It always amused him of your aversion for Bones when he was in doctor mode. It was probably due to how many times you had seen the doctor sticking a hypospray in Jim’s neck.
“Perhaps it would be better for you to keep practicing Ensign. To become more used to the demands of the lessons” Spock advised, raising an eyebrow at your dramatics.
“I know that Spock, it doesn’t make my muscles hurt any less” you groaned, rolling your eyes at him. “Anyway, I should probably be getting back to work. I’ll see you tonight. See you later guys” you murmured, pecking Jim’s lips before waving at the others.
As the weeks went on, you were becoming more and more covered in bruises. You hid yourself from everybody, especially Jim. All your skin was covered to make sure that no one could see the bruises.
You had worked out a while ago that something wasn’t right. That no matter how much self-defence LaRue was teaching you, it didn’t make sense as to the level of force he used on you. So that was why you had stopped becoming intimate with Jim, scared in case he would find the bruises on your body and think you couldn’t handle yourself. Well you could. You just needed to find out a way to knock LaRue the fuck out.
“Ensign Kirk” a voice called from behind you, making you grimace. At the moment all you wanted to do was get on with your work so you could go to your quarters and have a nice warm bath.
“Hey Spock, what are you doing down here?” you greeted, waiting for him to fall instep with you.
“I was wondering if you and the Captain are alright. The Captain seems very tense lately and I wished to know if there was anything I could do to help” Spock told me, following me down the corridor to my work station.
“We’re fine Spock, don’t worry. Jim’s just feeling stressed. Maybe you and Bones should take him for a drink next time we’re on a planet. It might cheer him up” you suggested, feeling guilt whirl in your stomach. You knew the reason Jim was so tense lately was because of you. So to offer a suggestion that you knew would not help, it made you feel 10 times worse about the situation.
“Of course. Maybe you could join us Y/N” Spock offered, handing you your datapad for you to use.
“Thanks Spock, but I don’t think that would help. Besides, it’s a boy’s night out. The clue is kind of in the name” you smiled, pulling up your work before looking up at Spock. It was so good to be surrounded by friends, even if you couldn’t tell them everything.
“Is that seriously all you got? I’ve seen more fight in a Klingon, you’re pathetic!” LaRue sneered, kicking you in the ribs as you tried to pull yourself up for what felt like the 100th time. In fact you were pretty sure it was.
“Well maybe I should have a better teacher” you hissed between gritted teeth as you clutched onto your ribs. Before you had time to say or do anything else, LaRue was gripping onto your elbow and pulling you up onto your feet again.
“You’re the one who wanted this, Princess! Why don’t you stop acting like a pathetic wimp and actually give me a fight” he growled, before punching you in your stomach. The pain almost had you throwing up as you tried to remember how to breathe again. Your mind became fuzzy as you concentrated on standing on your own two feet rather than collapsing at LaRue’s.
Turning to face him, you swung a punch at him but he ducked, landing a blow to your side. You grunted out in pain, landing on your knees. Already your bruised ribs were going to turn into a darker colour, you just knew it.
Dragging yourself up, you faced him, slightly unsteady on your feet. He smirked at you, enjoying seeing you so weak and in pain. Waiting for him to come at you, you timed it just right so you could punch him clear in the jaw. LaRue went down like a tonne of bricks and you felt a sigh of relief escape you. You had managed to knock that frustrating little smirk off his face.
However your victory was short lived as LaRue grabbed you around the waist and tackled you onto the mat. All your breath left you as you were winded, groaning out slightly at how much pain you was in. It felt like you had been hit with a starship.
“That’s enough for today! I’d say learn some better moves but it’s obviously a waste of my time and oxygen” he grunted, holding his bloodied lip. It still made you feel a tiny bit proud of yourself though.
Making your way down to your quarter for a shower, you couldn’t help but notice yourself struggling to breathe. Even though your ribs ached like they normally did, this time it felt like you were getting stabbed with every inhale and exhale. This time you couldn’t ignore it, especially when an ensign accidentally bumped into you and nearly sent your vision white with a burst of pain.
Grunting in both annoyance and pain, you realised that you’d have to go down to Medbay.
Poking your head around the door, you could sigh in relief if it didn’t feel so bad when you didn’t see Bones in the vicinity. That meant he was either in his office doing work or that he was with Jim. Stepping properly into the room, you went to grab the attention of a nurse when you saw your luck go up in smoke. Bones had walked in from his office directly in front of you and had spotted you. Cursing your luck and Bones’s untimely appearance, you turned on your heel before he could call you.
“Y/N? What are you doing in here? That idiot hasn’t got himself hurt again has he?” Bones greeted, reaching out for your shoulder to spin you around. You flinched away, instantly regretting it as you had to breathe out through gritted teeth. “Y/N?” he frowned in concern, eyes raking over you.
“I’m fine, sore shoulder. I was just looking for Jim. Thought he’d be here. I’d better go though” you muttered, keeping your sentences short so you didn’t have to take in as much breath.
Bones took in your hunched posture, clenched fists and slightly sweaty forehead, realising that something was wrong. “Yeah that’s not a sore shoulder. Come on” Bones stated, leading me to a bed.
“Honestly Bones, it’s fine! You don’t need to worry, it’ll be fine once I have a shower and a good night’s rest” you protested, trying to think of some excuse to get you out of this. If they found out about this you knew they would become overprotective of you, not let it rest until they found out who was doing this to you. And Jim would feel so guilty about getting LaRue to teach you self defence.
“You can’t even stand up straight. Now shut up and get on the bed!” Bones ordered, preparing the tricorder he would need to scan you.
“Your bedside manner is atrocious doctor” you complained as you did what you was told. Maybe you could just get away with it being a bruised rib. Yeah… that was the best you could hope for.
“Well I don’t do this job to get friends, darlin’. Now sit still while I actually do my job” Bones muttered, beginning to scan you. He frowned, noticing the incredible amount of white blood cells in your blood stream but no actual cause of illness. He lowered the tricorder over your chest cavity before he stopped, staring at the result. What the hell?
“May I?” he asked gently, hands reaching for your regulation shirt.
You gulped, jaw tightening before nodding. He lifted up your shirt, staring at the expanse of bruises that littered all over your body. There was various colours, indicating the age of the bruises: blues, blacks, greens and browns. The worst was over your ribs and even from here he could see the slight misshape of your lower ribs.
“Who did this?” Bones growled, eyes shooting up to yours.
“Bones, it’s nothing. I can handle-” you started, knowing exactly how this was going to work.
“Like hell you can! You’ve broken a rib Y/N! It’s why you can’t breathe without it hurting. Now who’s done this to ya or do I have to call Jim?” he demanded, getting a hypospray ready to give you some painkillers. Sighing heavily, you told him to call Jim. It would be better if they were all here so you could tell them. You didn’t really want to have to repeat it to everybody.
“Y/N! Hey, what’s wrong? Bones said to come down to medbay at once” Jim frowned, hurrying to your side as Spock followed in after him. Bones quickly shut the divider firmly behind them. You sighed, resting yourself against Jim, grimacing as you did so.
“I uh… I need to tell you something. I didn’t mean to keep it from you but… uh… I mean” you stuttered, nerves eating at your stomach. What if they were mad at you? What if they blamed you in some way? All these questions ran through your head as you tried to find the right words.
“She’s got a broken rib, extensive bruising and she’s lucky to have missed out on internal bleeding” Bones reported, interrupting your stuttering to tell everybody his diagnosis.
“What? How? Are you okay?” Jim questioned, hands coming to skim over your sides and pull up your shirt. He stopped at seeing your bruised body, unable to take in the sight. This is why you had been so distant. Why you didn’t want him to touch you or even see you undress. “Who did this?” Jim whispered, voice deceptively calm.
“Jim, just listen for a minute okay. Don’t get mad” you sighed, holding onto your ribs.
“Don’t get mad?! It looks like you’ve been beaten to within an inch of your life! Who did this to you? Y/N, you have to tell me” Jim shouted, gripping onto your shoulders.
“I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him” Jim growled, jumping up from the bed and storming towards the exit. You knew without doubt that Jim would, the conviction in his voice and the anger which strum through his body would make sure of it. But you didn’t want Jim to do that. It would destroy him if it did. He would lose his Captaincy, get thrown out of Starfleet and lose all that he had worked so hard for. You knew it would kill him to go through that.
“Jim! Stop!” you cried, trying to follow him but you couldn’t. The movement had caused your whole chest and back muscles to spasm, making you crumple to the floor. You would have hit your head on the bed if it wasn’t for Bones catching you and trying to hold you back.
Jim stopped, looking torn between helping you and making sure you were alright. Or paying a visit to LaRue and throwing him out of an airlock.
“Captain, maybe it is best to listen to Y/N. If you try and go after LaRue, I fear that Y/N may injure herself further by running after you” Spock objected, glancing at Jim as Bones helped me back onto the bed.
“Definitely agreeing with you there Spock…Jim, will you please just leave it. If you kill him, he’ll make sure you’ll lose everything you love. Including this ship” you told him, grimacing as you lay back down on the bed.
“He already hurt the thing I love the most” Jim sighed, coming to sit on the side of your bed and take your hand.
“I’m going to give you a painkiller and then I’ll give you something for your ribs. It might knock you out for a few hours but you’ll be as good as new when you wake up” Bones informed, getting everything prepared.
“Does this mean he’s going to stab me with a hypospray again?” you whinged, pouting up at your husband who smiled reassuringly. However, before he could reply back, you felt a flare of pain in your arm as Bones pressed a hypospray into you. “OUCH!” you cried, pulling away as he reached for the spray that would mend your ribs.
“Don’t be such an infant!” Bones scoffed, stabbing you again.
“Jim… you need to fire him!” you breathed, already feeling the medication work. You tried your best to fight it as you could blearily see Jim lean over and kiss your head. The last thing you saw before you fell asleep was Jim smiling at you softly as he cupped your cheek.
Kirk found LaRue just finishing up his shift when he cornered him in a practice room. “So let me guess? You thought it would be a good idea to hurt Y/N, the woman I love, because of something I did” Jim announced, making LaRue jump and spin around in fear. Jim felt a streak of pleasure at seeing the man who had hurt his wife now terrified of him.
“Captain… uh… what are you talking about?” LaRue murmured, glancing behind Jim at Spock and Bones who was blocking the door. They were furious, faces cold and hard with no hint of kindness at all. They loved Y/N like their own sister and they would not tolerate anyone hurting her.
“Of course not! Spock, why don’t you shut the door, this might take a while” Jim suggested, lips quirking up at LaRue.
“Captain! Please! It’s a misunderstanding! I was teaching her self-defence!” LaRue protested, stepping back against the wall.
“Ensign Kirk had a broken rib and multiple bruises over her body. I fail to see how that is efficiently teaching her self-defence” Spock rebuked, raising an eyebrow at the officer in front of him.
“She was bound to get hurt while I was teaching her!” LaRue objected, trying anything to get himself out of this. Surely they wouldn’t hurt him right? I mean after all, there was protocol.
“Good god man! You were meant to be teaching her, not beating her until she could barely breath! What kind of man are you to take advantage of her like that?” Bones snarled, stepping forward, fist clenched.
“Let me see, it was because I passed the promotion to someone else wasn’t it?” Jim smirked, punching LaRue with a right hook on his jaw. LaRue went down like a tonne of bricks, clutching his jaw tightly as he groaned. “Or was it when I refused to pick you for a expedition when you had been drinking? Oh, is it because I had you court-martial because you were drunk on duty?” Jim growled, hitting him again and breaking LaRue’s nose. It sent blood spurting out over the floor.
Jim grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt and slammed him into the wall, hearing the dull metal clunk at the impact. “Or was it because I embarrassed you back at the Academy because I beat you in all our classes? Huh? Is that it?” Jim snarled, kneeing LaRue in the side. LaRue groaned, doubling over onto the floor, clutching his side.
“So when you had the chance to hurt my wife, I bet you jumped at it. I bet there was a place deep inside your sick mind that couldn’t wait to make her feel the pain, the embarrassment that you felt” Jim hissed, crouching down to LaRue’s side. Jim gripped LaRue’s hair, making sure he was looking at him. “Well, just so you know. You’re going to be responsible for getting kicked off this ship, a court-martial back on Earth and knowing you’ll never be working on a starship ever again. Not if I can help it anyway” Jim growled, shoving him away.
“Jim, that’s enough. Come on!” Bones interfered, pulling Jim away from the gasping man. “I’ll get someone to bring him to medbay before he’s transported back to Starfleet” Bones told him, leading Jim away.
“Oh, if you ever touch Y/N again, I swear I will find you and I will kill you” Jim promised, holding onto his bloodied fist.
“Captain, come. Y/N will be awake soon” Spock instructed, ushering Jim out the room while Bones called for some help to take LaRue down to the medbay for a check over.
When you woke up, you felt groggy and confused for a few moments, the medication still in your bloodstream. But at least you could breathe better now, the pain in your body gone. Looking to the side of you, you spotted Jim sitting in a chair next to yours. He had fallen asleep with his head on the bed, snoring slightly. Running your fingers through his soft blonde hair, you looked back at the bright ceiling before looking to your other side.
You gaped, shocked at what you saw. There in the bed next to you was LaRue. He was surrounded by security but he looked like he had been knocked out. Shaking your head, you realised what had happened.
Tugging on Jim’s hair to wake him up, you heard his cries of pain as you spun your head to scowl at him. “Ow what was that for?!” he complained, rubbing his head as he gaped at you.
“You have a lot of explaining to do, idiot!” you glowered, pointing to the bed next to you.
“Oh that… don’t pretend you don’t like my protectiveness Y/N” he smirked, leaning back in his chair.
“Jim Kirk, you are nothing but trouble” you sighed, shaking your head as you couldn’t help but smile at him. Because it was true. You did love how protective he was of you. Even if he didn’t listen to you.
Imagine Person A has an (emotionally/physically/verbally) abusive parent but can't stand up to them. But when they introduce Person B to their parents, it's not long before Person B has something to say...
Okay so me and @eyeloch talked about this AU a lot last night…
There was this idea where Sabine’s parents discover the Bridgers son managed to resist being taken by imperials. But they choose not to help him due to the fact they’re already on thin ice with the empire. But Sabine doesn’t agree. She stands her ground and tries to persuade her parents to help this little kid but they refuse and try to take her away.
Sabine pulls away and refuses to leave without Ezra. After an argument with Sabine her parents give up; and they leave. Leaving there young daughter behind on Lothal with Ezra. Letting her ‘Make her own mistakes’ (I’m still stuck with the idea that Sabine’s parents (or at least mother) weren’t very good parents from the start)
So these two babies basically grow up on the streets together for a numerous amount of years learning all kinds of tricks.
Sabine cuts her long hair herself (Given why it’s quite messy) due to long hair being a target in a fight.
Ezra still collects helmets; while Sabine collects Blasters (Both functional and non)
Sabine still loves art; but doesn’t get the chance to draw or paint very often as paint is hard to come by living on the streets (Ezra may or may not have stolen some for her once or twice)
Ezra doesn’t know that it was Sabine’s parents that are the reason for his parents capture. And Sabine never tells him; or brings it up.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Since they decided not to delve any deeper into Cassian’s backstory (rude), I decided to make my own.
Character / Person: Cassian Andor
Premise: Cassian is protective over you as you go out on a suicide mission.
1st Person Perspective
Between the two of us, we have killed enough people to be considered an army.
But between the two of us, we carried enough remorse for the entire world.
I did not want this life. Nobody did. In the end, though, we did not have a choice.
Join the fight or die.
Well, join the fight and die anyway. But die for a cause, I suppose.
And that’s what she chose to do.
I met Y/N when she was eighteen and I was nineteen. I had been training for several years, both physically and mentally. Which meant that physically, I towered over her - this scrawny, terrified little girl who flinched if you even looked at her. Mentally, I felt no sympathy. If she wanted any part in the revolution, she needed to grow up. She told me once I was a droid. This wasn’t a job for crybabies, I shot back.
God, did she prove me wrong. Her emotion drove her to fight harder, move faster, think deeper. She surpassed me quickly.
Off the battlefield though, she hurt. I didn’t know why, until the first time she killed somebody - or so I thought it was the first.
We were on a reconnaissance mission on Kashyyyk. We weren’t supposed to have to kill anyone, but we weren’t supposed to get kidnapped either.
Ziton Moj had recognized my ship; he followed us from Mustafar. He had a gun to my head and was seconds from pulling the trigger when he collapsed, bleeding from the head. Y/N stood behind him, one hand holding a smoking blaster and the other over her mouth. I grabbed her and ran before any of Moj’s men could decide to return the favor.
As we flew away, she was staring out the window. She seemed worlds away. I called her name, but she didn’t respond. I lightly set my hand on her arm, and she jumped. “Are you alright?” I asked.
She explained that she had only ever killed one person before: her father. He was an Imperial officer whose hobbies included killing innocent people and occasionally beating Y/N and her mom.
From then on, I tried my hardest to keep her away from missions that could involve killing. She argued about it many times, saying that she had to learn to overcome it if she “wanted to be part of the Rebellion.”
“I want to be like you, Cassian,” she said.
That was the first time I kissed her. I was about to leave on a mission, and everything came crashing down on me at once. This girl was one of the strongest, and I needed someone like that in my life. I needed her balance. Her stability. Her passion and emotion and love. I needed her.
I couldn’t help myself; I kissed her. She was surprised, but in a good way, I’d like to think.
And then it became a matter of me keeping her away from the battlefield so that she wouldn’t get hurt. I felt that if I died, she would be alright. But if something happened to her…I don’t know what I would do.
When I tried explaining this to her, she cried. I asked her why. “Cas…” She whispered. “You’re wrong.” That was all she said.
I couldn’t keep her from the fight for long, however. She was a Rebel, no matter what I did. She took on the mission that nobody else would. That’s where this story begins, and hers ends.
I heard the shower turn off and I subconsciously moved over in my bed. Y/N came out of the bathroom with her pajamas on and towel-dried her hair. I glanced up from my book at her, and she grinned at me. She was beautiful.
She crawled under the sheets in the spot I had just vacated. “Cas,” she hummed. “Read me a story.”
I chuckled, “This isn’t exactly fairytale material.” I showed her the front cover: The Origins of the Clone Wars.
“Sounds fascinating,” she said.
“Alright,” I responded, “Make yourself comfortable.” I kissed her head as she burrowed farther down into her blankets.
She slung her arm around my waist and nestled her face into my side. “Ready,” she mumbled.
“A long time ago,” I began. “In a galaxy far, far away…”
When I woke up the next morning, Y/N was gone. I assumed she was in the dining hall, but she was nowhere to be found and I ate my breakfast. I only heard her name, floating around the room in whispers.
A Selonian and a Kurtzen sat nearby me and cast furtive glances my way every so often. They mentioned something about a mission. Curiously, I headed up to the flight bay to see what was going on.
I found Y/N there in her flight gear, and my heart paused for a moment.
“Y/N,” I called, jogging over to her.
“Cas!” She threw her arms around my neck.
“What’s going on?”
She explained, “Mon Mothma has assigned me to a mission.”
She must have sensed my hesitation. “Hey, Cas,” she said gently as she grasped my hands. “You don’t need to worry about me. Really.”
“I’m not worried.” I lied, and she knew it. “You’re going to do great.” She smiled, but it was tinged with a hint of sadness.
“Thank you, Cassian,” she said. Leaning forward, she kissed my cheek before running off to continue diagnostics on her ship. The second I was out of her eye sight, I took off myself, looking for the Mothma.
I found her, as usual, in the strategic defense room. “Ma'am?” I said hesitantly.
“Captain Andor,” she replied. “I know why you’re here.”
I cleared my throat. “With all due respect, ma'am, what is this mission you’re sending Y/N on? Is she ready for it?”
She nodded. “Yes. I have assessed her, and I believe she is prepared.”
“But - ”
“Captain Andor,” she soothed. “I know your opinion on sending Lieutenant Y/N on missions, but she requested to be put on this one.”
I was taken aback. “She…she said that you assigned her to this.”
“Well, I offered it to her, certainly. I was never going to force her to do anything. It was her decision.”
“Where is she going?” I asked.
Mon Mothma glanced down. “Lieutenant Y/N is going undercover on the Death Star base.”
“As I said, she requested to be put on this. She said she wanted to right her father’s wrongs.”
My mind whirled. “Thank you for your time,” I managed. I started back towards the flight bay.
I could tell Y/N knew as I approached her. “Cassian…” She began.
“What were you thinking?” I exclaimed. “You know how dangerous this is going to be?”
She blinked. “Cas, listen - ”
“No, Y/N, you listen.” I took her by the arms. My heart pounded so loudly my head began to ache from the noise. “If you’re trying to prove something, you don’t have to. Not to me, not to anyone else - we all know that you’re brave enough. I don’t want you risking your life for this!”
Shaking her head vigorously, she said, “No, Cas, it’s not about that. I joined the Rebellion for a reason. I don’t want to sit off to the side, watching everyone else save the galaxy for me. And as much as I appreciate you protecting me - ” She brushed her thumb along my cheek, and it was like fireworks followed her fingertip. I shivered. “I am going to help.”
I pressed my hand to hers against my face. “Y/N,” I breathed. “Please don’t go. If something happened - ”
“We all have to take risks, Cassian. How do you think I feel every time you go out on a mission? It terrifies me. But you always come back to me. Now I need you to trust me to do the same.”
Her eyes were full of sincerity. I searched them wildly with my own. “I love you,” I said quietly.
“I love you too,” she breathed. I kissed her - maybe too roughly, but I was afraid. Afraid that this was the last time we’d ever kiss. Afraid I’d never see her again.
I pressed her as close to me as possible, wanting to hold her forever. But eventually, she stepped back. “I have to go,” she said softly.
“Please be careful,” I urged.
A couple engineers waited to the side to disengage her ship. She joined them and took something from one of their hands. “Here, Cas,” she said, offering it to me. It was a radio. “We’ll still be able to keep in contact. Just…not as often as I’d like.”
I didn’t realize I was shaking until I took it from her. I couldn’t say anything; I nodded.
“Okay.” She bit her lip, staring at me. Then she gave me one last hug.
I watched her climb into her ship and begin the takeoff process. Slowly backing away as she began to roll down the landing strip, I clutched her radio to my chest. “Goddammit,” I whispered, panicking. “Goddammit. Fuck.”
I didn’t know then that I would see her again, but not like either of us had ever expected