protecting your rights


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If an abuser is making you take a ballot selfie, you can still vote the way you want to

If abusive people in your life are expecting you to take a ballot selfie, this doesn’t need to prevent you from voting the way you want to vote. You can fill out a ballot the way they want you to, take a selfie, spoil the ballot instead of casting it, and then vote a new ballot the way that *you* want to vote.

(Note: Taking ballot selfies is actually illegal in several states. In any case, I think taking ballot selfies is a really, really bad idea. But since I know people are doing it, I am writing this to help people protect their right to cast a secret ballot)

Here’s a step by step list of how to do this:

  • Step one: Get your ballot.
  • Step two: Fill out the ballot the way your abusers want you to. *Do not cast it*. Do not put it in the ballot box. (If you are using a voting machine, *do not tap vote* and *do not pull the final voting lever*. )
  • Step three: Take a selfie with the ballot filled out the way your abuser wants you to vote.
  • Step four: Spoil the ballot and ask for a new one (Or if you’re using a voting machine, go back and correct your vote). Draw a line down the middle, and bring the spoiled ballot back to the table where you got the ballot. 
  • Tell the polling person that you made a mistake, and ask for a new ballot. They should take back your spoiled ballot and exchange it for a new one.
  • (If they won’t give you a new ballot, tell their supervisor or call 866-OUR-VOTE for help. You have the right to start over with a new ballot if you make a mistake. *So long as you have not put it in the ballot box yet*. Once you’ve put it in the ballot box, you can’t take it back.) 
  • (If you’re using voting machines and aren’t sure how to start over, ask the polling officials for help. They are required to help you. (But make sure that you don’t press the Vote button or pull a final lever before you fix your ballot! Once you press Vote or pull the voting lever, your vote is final and you can’t undo it.)
  • Step five: Fill out your new ballot the way you want to fill it out. 
  • Step six: Cast your real ballot that you have just filled out. (Put it in the ballot box, pull the lever, or push the Vote button).

Tl;dr If abusers are trying to coerce your vote by making you take a ballot selfie, you can take the selfie and still vote the way you want to. Scroll up for step by step instructions.

Listen up, and I cannot stress this enough, these are 2 things you need to understand  as we head into the next for years is this:


You are a constituent of the people you vote into office.  The Senators and Congresspeople represent YOU, their CONSTITUENT. You have the power to re-elect them OR elect someone else, so your voice matters to them. 

Right now all 435 members of the house of representatives are a year away from campaigning for re-election.  ALL OF THEM. The same goes for 33 of the 100 senators. That means your opinions on issues, your happiness with the work they do, REALLY MATTERS because in just under 2 years you get to decide if they keep their jobs or lose them.  

So when planning action, CALL your senators and Reps and demand action, remind them they are there to work to represent you! If they voted in a way you support, thank them, this inspires them to keep doing what they’re doing.. they are making the people with the power to keep them in their job happy, and keep spreading information, taking to friends and family- especially those that live in places that have reps in opposition.

TL;DR?  senators and congresspeople react to hearing the people in their districts, ESPECIALLY right now because 33 senators and ALL of the house of representatives are up for re-election in 2018 when you can FIRE THEM WITH YOUR VOTE. If you’re pissed? they’re worried.  If you’re happy? They’ll keep doing what they’re doing.  

#2 PHONE CALLS ARE WHAT WORKS (When you can’t stand outside their office):

I’ve seen a lot of discussions about taking action by sending emails, letters, and starting online petitions. Those are great, and you can still do all those things, but first you have to MAKE PHONE CALLS.

Nothing makes more of an impact than a phone call…MANY phone calls….frequent, insistent (but no rude or threatening), phone calls.  It ties up the line, it is direct contact with the people they are responsible for… it’s effective.  The more constituents that call the more likely they are to listen. Emails can be easily deleted, petitions ignored, are more easily brushed aside, Facebook is usually maintained by an intern/staffer/ etc. 

TL;DR  PHONE CALLS, not emails, tweets, Facebook messages, or petitions. PHONE CALLS  make things happen. Trevor Noah explains this best, do all those other things AFTER YOU CALL and BEFORE YOU CALL AGAIN. 

ETA: ok, one thing DOES impact more… SHOWING UP. That.. is not something most of us are able to do but town halls, meetings with constituents, GO, ASK, DEMAND… if you can’t? CALL THEM. 

How to keep your partner?

How to keep your man:

  1. Give him his space
  2. Communicate 
  3. Trust him 
  4. Love him. 
  5. Do not cheat
  6. Don’t ask for too much

How to keep your girl:

  1. Treat her right
  2. Love her
  3. Compliment her
  4. Don’t ignore her
  5. Return her calls and texts
  6. Protect and respect her

Things I wish I knew before becoming a service dog handler.

Buy cat litter. Especially if you have a puppy. And don’t pour straight up bleach on any accidents.

Having confidence in yourself as a handler is one of the hardest things. But you are valid and your dog is hard working. Do your best.

The community is large and amorphous. Never assume people to be on your side. They will judge you for your self confidence. They will judge you for how you train your dog. They will not protect some of your basic rights. But it’s all going to be okay. Find your people, someone to vent to who is compassionate towards you, your dog, and your morals.

People will talk about you in front of your face. They will move to get away from your dog while expressing fear or disgust. It’s worse on the bus. Just remember, it’s their problem.

Never tell a gate keeper exactly what is wrong with you, they may inappropriately spread that information.

People shit on PSD and DPT. Ignore them. You are still valid.

You don’t have to tell randos what tasks your service dog does for you. They just have to deal.

The dogs will try to eat your clothes and the trash. It’s normal dog behavior. Either train them not to or keep them away from these things. Accidents still happen.

Accidents happen. It’s a matter of when not if.

There will be a time when your dog is getting into something he shouldn’t. And you will ignore it because you are too tired. It happens to everyone. Just don’t let it happen too often.

You will worry you are not taking care of your dog properly. You are doing your best. He is happy.

Every once in a blue moon you will forget to feed your dog dinner or breakfast. It’s okay. One skipped meal won’t starve them.

It will be hard. I knew it would be hard. I do my best. So does my dog. And that’s enough.

Pssst…we still have openings for photographing weddings in 2017! Getting married? Email us at or fill out the form on Tell us when, and where, and let’s make this happen. Also, to those of you worried about your ability to express Your love and marry who You wish to marry going forward in this country, know this: I will fight with all I have with you, for you, to protect your right to love and marry. I will never back down. I will never stop. As Bon Iver so eloquently put it, Your love will be safe with me.

this one time i saw a tiny kid trip over her violin case, and someone rushed over, helped her up, hugged her, asked if she was alright, etc. i waited a bit and then asked if the instrument was okay.

i may seem like a terrible human being, but i’m reALLY JUST A MUSICIAN.

Dears, I personally believe the case for Johnlock is still strong, but if you have to lower your expectations in order to protect your mental health, go right ahead. I want to encourage you not to give up hope yet and to direct you to the massive amount of evidence for TJLC, but if you need to protect yourself then do it. Take care of yourself and I dearly wish for you to be happily surprised tomorrow.

You watch from the bed silently, as his hand dips into the desk drawer, this time the money comes out of a wrinkled old Icy Hot patch box. You almost immediately frown.

“You know there’s a better way to protect your money right?” He eyes perk up to you, taking you in as you lie draped over his bed, chin pressed into his soft grey comforter. “Put it in the bank.”

He almost rolls his eyes.

“Right, because that’s where all the drug lords put their money.” The words are dripping with sarcasm, and this time you really do roll your eyes.

“First, you’re not a drug lord.” He scoffs at that. “Second, I didn’t mean here, get an offshore bank account, that way at least you get four cents from interest every month.” 

He’d thought about a foreign bank account once or twice, but he’d never really committed to the idea.

 “Also, just because you know it’s drug money, doesn’t mean everyone else does. If you put a little bit into several bank accounts, it’ll be really hard to trace ti back to you. And even if you do get caught, you’ll be accused of black money at worst and have to pay whatever you owe the government in back taxes.”

He just stands there for a minute, feeling oddly naked as he holds the wad of cash in his fist. Your eyes hold no emotion.

“How long have you spent thinking about this?” He asks slowly, and you only shrug. Turning onto your back as you stare up to the ceiling.

“Someone has to look out for you, it’s not like you have an accountant or anything.”

He can’t help but laugh at that.

How to date Tom Holland according to Harrison Osterfield.

  • He is on his phone. You can possible sneak in a quick snapshot of him looking at his phone.
  • He love the arcade. If you lose Tom Holland, you will find him at the arcade.
  • He is competitive. DO NOT go bowling with him if you want to win a game.
  • He is a show off. You can’t even see him not show off. It’s probably a bonus if he’s acting cute and stuff.
  • He will steal your phone. If you have taken a cute photo together, I repeat do not send it to him because he will compete with you or even “expose” you.
  • He thinks that Spider-Man is better. Hello?! Tom. Billy Elliot is better.
  • He hates people asking him if he was in Billy Elliot. He will tell you to fuck off.
  • He thinks that he’s dog is better. If you have a dog, you will say right about the same thing just to protect your dog. Right.
  • He is allergic to horses. A perfect excuse for you to bring him on a horseback riding date so that you can nurse him back to a health.
  • He likes to cuddle his dog. At this point, what the heck are you doing dating this guy. It’s like your third wheeling along when it comes to his dog.
  • He pranks his brother, Harry a lot. Prank wars? Are you going to be on Team Harry or Team Tom? I’m on Team Holland.
  • He cares. After all of the boys will boys day that he is having, he’ll figure out why you care about him so much.
  • And that my friends, is how to date Tom Holland according to his bestfriend, Harrison Osterfield.

Not feeling very well so have probably the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever drawn (simple colours because I’m not up to painting right now). Dad Sans and Chara getting along is my absolute favourite thing, I need more of that.