I feel so lost.
I’ve made homes here and there
Thinking I’d remain safe and loved.
What if I told you that you were my home?
That I used to feel safe with you
And so loved even with my imperfections?
What if I told you that
I no longer feel that way?
Instead of feeling protected,
I feel scared and alone.
You were once my escape,
Somewhere I could go to
When I couldn’t face the world.
Now, you are just a distant memory
That I try to savour
At my every waking moment.
One that I’m trying to forget
While also trying to hold onto for dear life.
It seems like I was meant to
Travel the world all alone
With no place to call home.
—  What do I do now? // S.T.
The key to any relationship is not to hold someone so tightly that they can never leave. It is to love them so well that they never want to.
—  L.A.L.
Blurred

I’m standing here

eyes and mind very clear

Heart choked, been broke

one time too many

The butt of a cosmic joke

It’s alright, in this fight

the darkest always comes

before the dawn

Been wrong so much

burned by every touch

Still I carry on

Heart blurred, voice unheard

and yet I sing my song

Maybe I was wrong about everything that happened between us. Maybe I thought it was you whom I had been wishing for to come into my life. Maybe I was too indulged in the thought of being someone’s special and loved one. Maybe I trusted you too much that I didn’t see that you could hurt me more than the way I had been hurt before. Maybe I was so engrossed that I was the one who saved you when you felt deserted. Maybe I cared for you so much that I had forgotten as well how I should do the same thing for myself. Maybe I fell too much for you and I thought you felt the same way. Maybe you didn’t love me at all because we don’t hurt the people that we love. Or, maybe now I am the only one hurting after all because I genuinely and deeply loved you.
—  Thoughts of Dessa
You can have magic with just anyone if you know the right spell. The question is, how real is it?
—  Valeria Renée
Spiritual Breakfast Sandwich

Apple of my eye
Yogurt of my dreams
Quesadilla of peace and tranquility
Hash of solace
Butter of golden kingdoms
Streets of cobbled nobles
Tang of my ancestors
Gobble of my turkey
Lover to thy love
Witness to the stars
Explosion of my masterpiece
Temptress of my frozen pizza
God of god
Lord of lord
With a sad face drooping
Down
Down
Down
Can you hear the time calling?
Can you smell the plastic burning?
Down
Down
Down
Can you hear the violins playing?
Are you here right now?

I.
My stomach was filled with a thousand moths who have flown too close to the flame. I never knew that you could poison that feeling, that flutter. I convinced myself it was love but it was only ever the treacherous moths - so easily fooled, they flitted at the sight of your ocean-storm eyes, flapped at your curved mouth.
II.
I never knew flowers could drown - I thought that they could swallow a thunderstorm and survive, but you taught me that even the throats of those long-stemmed flower weren’t wide enough to withstand a tsunami.
Of course I convinced myself that you were starlight in my veins and forgot that the stars are made of flame too hot to bear. I couldn’t understand why my veins were on fire, why my body felt like a funeral pyre.
III.
You convinced me that the dying sunflowers inside me were not a tragedy, that all breaths were short, that love tastes like broken glass and honey. I forgot that sometimes lighting makes you feel alive, that the ocean loves to kiss the shore, that diamonds come from coal. You’re gone now. Not much to say, except that grass grows on gravestones and my stomach is a valley of cocoons.

||Moths can be rebirthed||

~ christie

prove! what do i have to prove!

are the sanguine rivers running down my body, not enough? i am alive!
are my quaking, thunderous heartbeats, not enough? i am alive!
are the tangled thoughts drifting through my mind, not enough? i am alive!

even if i have to scream to the world, i am living, i have lived—i lived, i live!

i live, though the air in my lungs is thick with poison
(i am alive!)
i live, though the river i swim is thick with mud
(i am alive!)
i live, though the roots on my legs are thick and heavy
(i am alive!)

and to the world, i still shout, “i lived!” with a triumphant, shining smile, for my greatest accomplishment was drawing its breath into these weary lungs.

for as long as i live and breathe, worlds and words and infinities, i have lived,
for as long as i live and breathe, i have won, i have prevailed, i have conquered, i have lived.

and my dearest mother, i tell the universe with a voice as high and bright as the stars, that is enough.

ANGEL; i sing a song of triumph

Those eyes. Paralyzing. His. Hers. I have been banished into a world of agony because of those eyes. Why must there be so much held there in those miniature universes? Each unique to its owner. Grabbing empty handfuls as I plunge to my dulcet death, never seeing the bottom of those speckled oceans. I hear not what you are saying because of those greens, blues, golds. But a tiger’s eye can speak and I am born again searching those prismatic windows. At times I find souls dying. dead. gone. In response I revive them and and feast upon gleaming pupils. An open gasp, an escaping sigh, parallel to dilation. Yes. Those eyes. And when they roll back in elation I recede to a disoriented state. Help. 


“Death of Me”

-Kylie Lowe

Silence.

I sat there, frozen.
My eyes taking in everything, 
my heart, broken.
Pieces shattered, lying on the floor, 
the breath cold, the mind roared.
The chaos,
it was visible, 
too loudly,
taking in every ounce of my soul.
And still, I sat there without a single word.
A lifeless body, 
a mortal soul.
The knees trembled, 
hands, shaking, 
the heart, broken.
It was just too loud.
Your silence was just too loud.
And I drowned in that.

Make Believe

Take a moment
To enroll in a thought
That we can share.

Of our lovers
In the sunset
Silhouetted is their
Hair.

Seize the only
Thing we know
Cannot be there
An ending with
No quotient
Only love
We couldn’t
Bear.

Feel the waves
Climb your feet
And then tug and then
Ensnare
All the sea things
We are scared of
Even though they’re
Very rare.

Now what is left
Is you and me
In sandy slip-ons
Dirty knees.

With our bodies
Intertwined
Each the other’s
Only need.

It’s been 100 days since you kissed her,
And that doesn’t matter anymore or maybe the fact that I’m still counting means that it still matters all too much

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t hurt like a knife anymore. I can see you without wanting to run as fast as I can (I still haven’t decided whether I wanted to run to you or away from you)

Somewhere during these 100 days my body got tired of being sad over someone who doesn’t deserve my tears, who never deserved me in the first place. So maybe it does still matter, but it doesn’t hurt as much and I guess that means I’m getting somewhere

I want to love so hard that I turn to rain.
— 

Let me wash over you.

-D.K.

You thought you’d never fall in love even though you wanted to.
It just wasn’t in the cards, there was no one right for you.
Your mind was too complex, your personality severe.
No one could relate and soulmates weren’t real.
That’s why it took so long to let that boy inside your head.
And why you felt so vulnerable after everything you said.
But when you told him that you loved him, he said he loved you more.
And for the first time in your life, you had no regrets at all.
You still can’t comprehend how that boy loves you relentlessly every single day.
But you finally understand how hearing someone’s voice can make everything okay.
He taught you what it means to have a person feel like home.
And that being with someone else means you don’t have to be alone.
He knows when to hold you close and he knows not to let go.
He says you mean the world to him but you already know.
He always wipes your tears but he hates it when you cry.
He forgives you when you hurt him because he knows you didn’t try.
You don’t know how you got him and you really don’t know why.
But when he tucks you into bed, you see your future in his eyes.