I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you, I’m sorry if you never got to read the last poem that I wrote for you, do you still read with your feathery wings and watercolor halo? Do you still ask questions about life? I’m still lost. I’m so lost. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there. I’m sorry that I couldn’t hold your hands. I’m sorry that I’m just here and you’re just there. The dust will leave my heart some day, the fingertips will be shown. You were there.
—  You were always there
These words are the way I care for a heart that isn’t in my hands, the way I thin out the road to your heart. These words are the way I’ve learned to reach for the smiles in your tears, listen for the wind at the bottom of the tenth cup of coffee. Sometimes all you need is someone to read you before you run out of feelings, before we run out of commas to give the clouds to breathe. I’m still learning how to be happy without being in love. Darling, I’ve been staying awake while you’re asleep trying to learn how forgive myself through your dreams. I’m halfway home to nowhere with arms that can never forget the texture of everything I’ve lost, and maybe one day, all this love will be enough. and i spoke to death a few years back, he said that it wasn’t time for such a flatline. while i die to make you out as something more than forever mine, while i write where i can’t forget, poetry won’t save us, but it’s a fucking start. and i won’t love the same after this, and i’m a sinner, aren’t we all? some thoughts ring true, the feelings of yesterday leave us blue. i searched for you in the sky, the sun said to ask the moon. the moon said to ask the wolves. the wolves love to howl like how i love to feel love just to be love while in love to see love to breathe love to taste love to feel love to touch love to leave love, aren’t you my love? aren’t you my baby? aren’t you my everything? aren’t you my flaws? aren’t you my imperfections? why weren’t you there my everything? why weren’t you… and we only have more questions, but never enough answers… and we only ever wonder about you when our minds wander and yeah i never treated you right, but we were never going to make it– shit, it was a nice thought though. we would’ve been wonderful. to this day, i still think you’re beautiful.
—  The Ate & The Bunso
It’s hard to believe 
I was once pure 
and innocent.
It’s the small stolen
moments we don’t realize
we miss until it’s too late
and it leaves us empty.
—  you see my eyes are sometimes filled with darkness that I can’t quite place, considering they were once filled with light. // a.hagar
god, you make me wish i was smarter and funnier, more confident and better with words. you make me wish i was more; i was everything, i was the sun, the moon, the stars and the night sky, because baby you’re a whole universe; with rivers and oceans, valleys, and volcanoes, and secrets and belly laughter. you make wholeness seem beautiful. your happiness isn’t boring. god, you make me want to be ordinary.
—  marina v., the envy of gods.