listen to yourself and watch your language.
instead of saying “sorry for ranting”, say “thank you for listening to me”.
instead of saying “sorry that i am overemotional”, say “thank you for trying to understand something difficult”.
instead of saying “sorry if i am a burden”, say “thank you for the time and energy you invest in our friendship”.
good things will come when you realize you are not an apology.

I just feel like heaven and hell are a place that’s inside each of us and we’re the ones who choose which one to explore. I mean, like, you know, I think you have to have both to have an understanding of why they exist. Shit wouldn’t be balanced if we didn’t have hell. I don’t think you’d be able to appreciate how amazing it feels to sit on a rooftop with all your friends as you’re watching the sunset listening to your favorite Lorde song if you didn’t want to kill yourself sometimes. You know and I think we’re all like, you know, a step away from both. I feel like both universes are so near to us. I don’t really think that heaven is all the way up at the top of whatever all of this is, and that hell is all the way down at the bottom. I think it’s all right here in front of us. I think they layer onto our realities like filters on an Instagram image. We see our lives through heaven and hell, and I think we always have a say in which one we can choose. You know because, even when your life is dog shit, heaven is just as close as it was before. You don’t really get further away from it, you just lose the ability to take notice of it, I guess. But I know how you feel, man. I feel like God is really quiet sometimes in my stupid life. But I still know that it’s all still right there in front of my face. It’s not really a matter of looking or searching, it’s a matter of seeing things for what they are. It’s all so much closer to you than you think it is. It’s all just a breath away.
A healthy friendship will never force you to compromise your own values, your own passions, and your own little joys. It will always be there for you to inspire you in acting on the things that make you special, unique and most of all worthy of love.
—  Juansen Dizon, A Healthy Friendship

Maybe I’m not sad,

I just accepted

that good feelings

never last.

And so are the bad ones // ma.c.a

And I am starting to learn that when someone says ‘I want to die’ it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re holding a gun to their head, ready to jump from a forty story building or swallow the pills they’re hiding under the bed. ‘I want to die’ could be the same as ‘Look at me. I’m in so much pain. I’m failing my classes on purpose. It has been five days since I last took a shower and my breath smells like too much alcohol.’ ‘I want to die’ could be the very definition of ‘I don’t care about anything anymore, and I need someone to help me’ and of course you’d have to help them because they are tired of life or at the very least—send them to someone you know they can trust.
—  Juansen Dizon, Tired of Living

Sweetie, if one day

the world forgets

to remind you

how wonderful life is,

I hope you’ll have

enough courage

and wait for the sun

to rise up again.

A single spark can light a fire // ma.c.a

𝘉𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳, I told myself. 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘍𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.
—  Margaret Atwood, from “The Penelopiad,” written c. October 2005

So I think

of our old,



as if

they could


bring you

back to me.

Tell me how to stop dreaming about you. // ma.c.a