Overhaul at the Daily Prophet
Following last week’s firing of infamous reporter Rita Skeeter, the Daily Prophet continues to demonstrate its commitment to change by revamping its ancient premises.
The crumbling brick and marble building at 20 Diagon Alley has been demolished and rebuilt. The result: a sleek, glassy affair, its entrance emblazoned with the Prophet’s redesigned logo.
All members of staff have been issued staff passes and colour-coded business cards, which they must carry on their person at all times.
This is in keeping with the newspaper’s newfound commitment to journalistic integrity. For the first time in three centuries, a company motto has been adopted: Renewed, Ready, Responsible.
In another canny PR move, head honcho Jeremiah Cuffe has manoeuvred retired Holyhead Harpies player Ginny Potter into place as the unofficial face of the new establishment. It is rumoured that she only agreed to this on condition of Rita Skeeter’s immediate termination.