proof that girls are evil

Your fave is problematic: BtVS Addition.

Buffy Summers:

- Perpetuates the myth that blondes have hand-eye coordination
-Ageist (Calls Giles old and gross.)
-Into Necrophilia
-Slut shames (Calls girls like Cordelia skanky-hos)
-Wants to date and shop more than she wants to save the world. Who does she think she is, a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL?

Rupert Giles

-Tricked me into thinking that librarians would be hot
-Spends too much time with underage girls
-Cleans glasses with tweed, probably scratching the lenses
-Relationships never work out
-Most likely to have a drink with the ex-boyfriend who tried to kill him and his pretend daughter several times, BUFFOON. 

Willow Rosenberg

-Reveals the secret that all witches are lesbians
-Broke a crayon, once
-Looks like a crazy birthday cake in that one shirt
-Addict
-Invited her best friend’s boyfriend into her room when she wasn’t wearing a bra, so scandalous. 

Xander Harris

-Tricked me into thinking that boys could be funny
-Read Latin in front of the books
-Demon fetish
-Didn’t go to college
-NEVER REALLY UNLOCKED HIS TRAGIC BACKSTORY.

Cordelia Chase

-Popular girl aka proof that she’s evil
-Had money, wtf was that all about
-Too bitchy, we only like quiet girls here
-Too much confidence, how dare she
-Dared to date around instead of committing herself to eternity with the first boy she liked, that harlot.

Faith Lehane

-Showed up, looking hot, and WASN’T Buffy. 
-Tried to be friends with Buffys friends, who tf does she think she is, Buffy???
-Comes from a broken home and doesn’t trust easily. So unrealistic.
-Too much sexual tension
-Was loyal to the mayor after he was genuinely nice to her in the way that no one else was, what was that about, who cares if he gives you cookies, he’s EVIL Faith.

Angel

-Too broody and moody
-Cradle-robber
-Didn’t enjoy being a vampire, wtf, you get to be IMMORTAL
-Stalked Buffy for a while
-Too cryptic. Just fucking tell them who Spike is, don’t just vanish for the AESTHETIC you fanged fuck. 

Spike

-Hair probably smells like bleach and cigarette smoke
-Perpetuates the myth that all, hot vampires will leave their girlfriends for Buffy.
-Also stalked Buffy
-Never dated Xander
-Had a weird man-crush on Angel, calling him his yoda, even though Angelus is a fucking prick to him.

Drusilla

-Loves her dolls more than she loves people
-Somehow got both Angel and Spike at the same time
-Notorious plant killer
-Talks like she mixed up a bowl of alphabet soup and is just making sentences out of the words she sees.
-Helped attack Angel. Who cares if he murdered your family, stalked you, drove you crazy, and turned you??? He’s a good guy now!

Oz

-Didn’t talk enough
-Didn’t let Willow kiss him in the van JUST because she was thinking about Xander.
-Werewolf, so possibly has fleas
-Made Willow earn his trust back after she cheated, wtf, just forgive her.
-Hair is always different.

Amy Madison

-Had the nerve to eat brownies.
-Didn’t respect her mother’s wishes. Like, she birthed your body, let her use it from time to time.
-Started doing witchy stuff, even though magic was scary.
-Turned herself into a rat, which is PROOF THAT SHE ALWAYS WAS ONE.
-Takes forever to come back.

Dawn Summers

-Comes from out of fucking nowhere
-So whiny, like she’s a teenager or something
-Mystical ball of energy but probably failing Algebra
-Resents Buffy, wtf, get your own life Dawn
-Kisses Vampires like it’s a family tradition

Anya Jenkins

-Capitalist
-Never came to grant my wish when I was cheated on
-Sexually liberated. Ew, how can we let our children watch this???
-Socially awkward
-Somehow got both Xander and Spike, instead of putting Xander and Spike together. 

Jenny Calendar

-Fake AF. No, really, her name isn’t even Jenny, what a snake
-Was totally stalking Angel
-Showed more loyalty to her family than to the people she’d known for like a school year, wtf was that about???
-Avoided Giles after going through a trauma that he indirectly caused. Ice cold bitch, amirite?
-They put ‘Jennifer’ on her grave stone, so she’s fake in the afterlife too.

Tara Maclay

-Her too pure for this world act did not fool me for one second
-Probably a Satanist
-Rebellious child who ran from her family
-Made Willow gay
-Had the nerve to break up with Willow when she picked the magics over her, like who do you think you are???