Sirius: Lily, I think it’s time we talked about how you shouldn’t yell at Harry at stores.

Lily: *Turning her head slowly* Whatever the bloody hell do you even mean?

James: He means when you shouted and asked Harry to put the candies back Sirius got scared, dropped whatever he was carrying and ran to Remus.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again since no-one has yet given me a valid reason as to why James Potter, lacking a wand, didn’t just transform into Prongs when Voldy turned up and like… fucking spear him. Why didn’t he do that? Like I don’t care how astonishingly powerful a dark wizard he was, no-one could ever be prepared for walking into a house and there’s just… a massive fuck off stag staring you down? How could you possibly react to that? 

You couldn’t, giving said stag the opportunity to put an antler through his eye and save the day. Not to mention, can you imagine the Prophet headlines if that was how it’d gone down?

Concept: Sirius convinces the Marauders to do a “Family Portrait” in their animagus form.
  • Except for Remus, obviously.
  • So Remus is the one human who has to go into the photographer and ask for the picture.
  • Remus is a mixture of embarrassed, exasperated, and amused.
  • “Hello, yes, I’d like to take a picture with my, er, pets.”
  • And this photographer is just astounded that Remus has these very manageable and obedient pets.
  • In all fairness, it’s a VERY good picture.
  • James: [to the Marauders] Mates, I don't know how to say this, so I'll whisper it in Padfoot's ear and he'll blurt it out in astonishment.
  • James: *whispering to Sirius*
  • Sirius: LILY IS PREGNANT?!

Sirius: PEEEETERR give a kiss to your new girlfriend!!
Peter: aaaah! Get that thing away from meeeeeeee!!!!!




Bonus: 

i think that the marauders would buy howlers in hogsmeade and then start sending them to the hogwarts staff, can you imagine mcgonagall getting a howler that says, in sirius’ voice, “minERVA YOU’RE SUCH A QUEEN” and then just tearing itself to shreds because i can