promises

I lied. You leaving me wasn’t okay and it will never be okay. But you lied to me too. You made promises to me that will never be kept. Those promises vanished into thin air just like how our forever did. When you left me, you took everything…
They call me foolish for still loving you. For letting those three blissful words slip through my lips and into the dark lonely air longing to reach you.
But how can I move on when you still have my heart and your voice still resonates throughout my body and your smile still lives in my eyes and every time my mind wanders it goes directly back to you.
I still remember everything and my god I wish I could forget because maybe I wouldn’t hurt this bad. I still remember the sound of my crying breaking the unbearable silence as we sat there. I remember the way your hands felt on my cheeks as you wiped away my tears. I remember that look in your eyes and the way your voice sounded as you said you loved me for the last time…
I miss you more than anything and it’s killing me…
But if loving you kills me tonight, then I was ready for death the moment you said hello.
—  and suddenly all the love songs were about you 
I know you deserve so much better than me. But I promise you that no one wants to wake up to your face more than me.

Something that has been put on my heart lately is how as a woman who grew up going to church and in a Christian home you hear lots of Gods truths and promises and be come so familiar with them that you become numb to the impact of His promises.
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Emmanuel means God with us. Too often have I heard these words and read Matthew 1:23 but not fully listened. Not applied this truth, not fully embraced this promise in my everyday life.
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Today I was challenged to strive “to remain conscious of His presence on even my busiest days.”
By 1. Studying His word. And
2. Talking to Him about what is on my mind (what delights me or what upsets me)

#delightinthelord #godisgood #godislove #godwithus #emmanuel #love #truth #promises #hope #bible #jesusfreak #jesuscalling #challenge (at Home Bro)

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