promise with oneself

The Parabatai Oath

This may not be news to some of you, but my friend who brought me into the Shadowhunters fandom was unaware and thought it was really cool, so I wanted to write a brief meta post about it. (Thanks, @thethirteenthhouse!)

I should note that I am pretty much a show-only fan (full disclosure view expressed here) so I am only going by that portrayal. One can infer from the Shadowhunters television series that it is going with a worldview that posits that multiple mythologies are real, including one of a Judeo-Christian flavor. The notion of Nephilim is something that is borrowed and extrapolated from the Bible/Torah, etc. Given that, I think it’s fair to assert that Biblical mythology has a place in this world that is pretty solid.

Which brings me to the Parabatai Oath. I was watching 02x03 with thethirteenthhouse and when Jace began to recite the Parabatai Oath, I started to think… this is really… really familiar. And then it hit me.

Cut for length.

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I told myself I’ll stay away from fandoms, writing, all the new movies and books and songs - Everything, until April 2018. But then, even promises to oneself need loopholes, now, don’t they?

IDK when I’ll be posting my art here, but I will - Specially during the next 2 months of holidays. A lot of genderbent fanart (the ones I started when I was still a fangirl). Some random girls, because I can’t draw boys, I’m so sorry for that. But I’ll promise you that my art is worthy of showing others, even if I do say so myself. (I’m trying my best to be positive here…)

And perhaps… Maybe my stories - Only snippets, the cool, well-written scenes, of my fanfictions, or maybe even my original series.

Through art.

As comics.

I need SOMETHING to keep me sane, after all.


[Magazine] Siwon in Men’s Uno HK (March 2015)


Interviewing Choi Siwon who’s in front of me, for every question asked, he’ll crack a joke, then give me a strong and frank answer. Maybe it’s like how he said, as a man, ‘Faith’ is the most important to him; keeping faith, so one can explore the world to one’s content. That is why, no matter what he encounters, how he has to portray himself, he can always face it calmly. In other words, it’s his knowledge when to hold back and when to let go, which allowed him to become outstanding among the men in the new generation.

On Faith

「In this hectic pace of life, whether it’s phone, fashion or trends, everyone and everything is changing by the day; especially Korean entertainment, every week there are newly debuted singers and groups coming to greet me. I guess the only possible constant is ‘Faith’. 」

Don’t have to think much, Choi Siwon can already clearly express what’s most important to a man.

「Faith can come from those around you, family, country or even be innate. In Helios I act as a very patriotic professional weapon handler, for his country he will give his all, really a frank and passionate person」

To be able to train hard before his 20s to become all of Korea’s person to attain the taekwondo fourth rank black belt, we can undoubtedly see how his faith has proven itself.

「We cannot directly compare this generation to the previous, but I think that ‘Faith’ definitely has been consistent.」

On Confidence

「In a globalising world, with developed information, it’s become easier to travel; everyone likes fresh, while focusing on other countries, they tend to forget their own country’s history and culture. I feel that there’s a responsibility, for in future when I’m not living anymore, to ensure that my children and their future generations to inherit our culture.」

Choi Siwon has pride of being Korean, but regarding himself, as a Christian he’s very humble, without the arrogance of the new generation. Even though he’s chased by tens of thousands, his heart only has gratitude.

「Self-confidence exists in everyone, it can be seen as something that varies greatly; but it’s nature is actually the same. I believe in the Lord, I am in awe of him, so I don’t dare to be arrogant. Self-confidence can sometimes be something very dangerous. I will put in effort to avoid it so I won’t be negligent; that is why I think clearly before doing anything.」

Especially in his career where it’s easy to lose oneself, it’s even rarer to have celebrities speak this way.

「If we really have to talk about self-confidence…… I guess I’m someone who really takes the initiative to express myself; when I cannot express my thoughts, it is something that’s painful to me.」

On Movies

「The movies I participated this year are very special to me: I filmed gunplay segment in ‘Helios’, and it was filmed in Hong Kong (Koreans are very addicted to kind of Hong Kong produced gangster films in the 80’s such as A Better Tomorrow); in ‘To The Fore’ I became very good friends with Eddie Peng; in Dragon Blade, besides the interesting chinese-western ancient plot, I got to use various languages to communicate with Jackie Chan, John Cusack and Adrien Brody, it was really a mental challenge. (Laughs) This is a very rare experience!」

From singer to actor, Choi Siwon has progressed to become a big Asian star; but until now, he still has rookie mindset towards the performing arts.

「To me, acting is the expression of one’s innermost expressions; being an actor is to convey stories’ and its messages, using my own heart to reach audience’s hearts. This is why good stories and good roles are very important. I want to act roles that are very twisted and complex, for example like a role which is good for most of the movie, yet at the ending turn out to be bad which shocks the audience. Haha.」

No matter in which generation, a man with stories, or to put it another way, a man who can create his own stories, will always be ideal.

On Growth

From debuting in a big group, to excelling in the Korean entertainment industry where there is much talent, other than faith, there are also important factors that Choi Siwon picked up during his process of becoming a real man.

「Through these years I have learnt responsibility. That responsibility is accumulated day by day, as the years pass. When I was young, when meeting friends, I will say to them “When we have time we should have a meal together”, but maybe everyone slowly forgot it, and it doesn’t really matter. Now that I’ve grown up, the promises one makes to oneself, cannot just be empty promises – once made, they must be fulfilled. I’m honest. This is very important to me, I cannot lie.」

We can expect a Korean man to give us such serious and yet a little cliche answers; but Choi Siwon answered so sincerely, that it makes one unexpectedly convinced……

On Time

「5 years ago, us as Korean artists placed work locally as priority, but now it’s very different. But it’s just 5 years…… Yet enough to create a generation gap.」

Like he said, the world is changing every minute every second. Have you thought of your “10 year plan”?

「Within the next 5 years I’ll be in army, that’s a Korean man’s responsibility. And maybe I’ll become more mature. But I will still work hard, I’ll continue to develop my acting. But it’s very hard to think of 10 years down the road right? Like how 10 years ago I didn’t think of how I’ll be like today.」

On Love

「I never thought of plans of marriage and when to marry. Members are asking, but I really don’t have plans, and haven’t met the right one yet.」

What is your ideal type?

「Sexy! Just kidding! Maybe I’m very old-fashioned, but when I look at women I look at the eyes first. People can train themselves to have nice curves, and dress up well to look glamorous. But the look in their eyes reflects their heart, it cannot be changed easily. This is my personal philosophy……」