there is a possible world where i don’t go on tumblr that day and we never meet, and i drop out of college with no motivation and join the army. i die in combat. you decide living really isn’t for you. there is a possible world where i am married with two children and we bump into each other at a coffee shop and i know it’s too late for us but somehow i still need you. there is a possible world where we have healthy childhoods and we’re the trophy couple, prom king and queen, perfect. there is even a possible world where we are safe in our love. but this is the alpha world, we are who we are and we are here together. we only have each other and i am content with that. i don’t want any other world but this one.
- Skipping class
- Bj’s behind the bleachers
- “Mom wants you to come over for dinner”
- Most well known couple but not bc you’re popular bc you’re always in trouble
- Detention make out sessions
- “Y/N you need to tutor me”
- Dreaming about your future together
- “Everyone thinks we’re going to break up after school but we won’t okay? I won’t let you go”
- Holding hands ALL THE TIME
- PROM KING N QUEEN (or 2 kings or however you want)
- You basically are in his family and vice versa
- “Karen said you can’t dye your hair.”
- You dye his hair
- “Our kids would be pretty…”
- “Let’s graduate high school first Mikey.”
- Being the lead couple in musicals
- Late night walks without your parents’ permission
- “We’re in trouble”
- “Aren’t we always sweetheart?”
-Stiles and lydia seeing each other in the hallway and like kiss each other not caring a thing about the world
-Holding hands in the hallway
-Having a dinner with lydia mom and stiles dad
-kissing in stiles car
-Visting his mothers grave together saying how happy he is with her
-Going to prom together be king and queen
-Lydia is the first thing he sees when he comes back
-Hugging each other
-Lydia realising how much he means to her and her saying to stiles for ones
-Go iceskating lke a date
-Holding hands under lunch table
-Study date in the school libary
-Them in the background giving eskimo kisses so cute
-Lydia laying to stiles in his bed cuddeling
-Stiles watching Lydia sleep
First you were childhood best friends, then you were still best friends as you got older, then he asked you out and you were your High-school favourite couple. Voted cutest couple. Prom king and Queen both your families loved the other, making jokes about your future kids and inevitable wedding.
You and him were the ultimate American high school sweethearts.
Everyone in your small town thought you were going to be together forever,do did he and back then so did you.
Justin Wheeler lived the American dream. He was tall, dark, handsome. Athletic, to the point he was soon Captain of the Football team. He could have any girl be wanted and he wanted you. Only God knows why, up until he asked you he was just your best friend. You didn’t have any romantic feelings towards him but when he asked everyone expected you to say, yes, so you did. As you progressed through your relationship you grew to develop the feelings he obviously had for you. Sure, you fell in love with him. But when he said it to you the first time, you lied. He never could tell though.
You think you stayed so long because he brought you comfort. He was your best friend and you had fun. After high-school and when you moved away he reminded you of home.
You were always an over-achiever. You liked working and you knew what you wanted to do ever since you are seven. It was careers day and one of your classmates brought their Grand Uncle in who was a Captain in the Philadelphia Police Department. Everyone else in your class ignored his speech and asked about his gun but you listened. He helped people everyday, put away bad guys and no one day as a police officer was ever like another. You feel in love.
After high-school you both moved to Philadelphia to attend Penn State. You on a academic scholarship and him on an athletic one. You took Criminology and did it in three years over the usual four. Which meant dispute living together you barley ever saw each other. You knew Justin had hoped that after it all out would have gone back to how it was in high school but as soon as you finished joined the police department. Much to Justin’s distain. He didn’t like the idea of you becoming a cop, he wanted you to do something else, something safe. He also assumed that after college you would move back home which was something you didn’t want. Your town was too small for your big dreams.
While you were in the academy he constantly told you that you could have done something better with your life considering how smart you were. Always trying to get you to reconsider becoming a cop in the big city and moving back home with him. His Dad ran a successful Car business throughout the state and he was planning on taking over.
But you couldn’t just be his housewife.
You reasoned with him and he eventually gave in. He took over the Philadelphia division of his families business and by that time you are a Patrol cop.
Things died down after that. Things got better between you two. You both actually spent time together again. You wanted to make things work. You thought he was your forever.
Things got better and then they went bad again. Your supervisor had suggested you take the detectives exam after only four years on the job, which was practically on heard off but he said you had talent and were wasted as a uniform. You took the test definitely expecting to fail, but you passed with flying colours and were officially a detective.
He celebrated with you. Buying you presents and throwing a party. You were so happy but as soon as you became a Detective. Things went bad again. You spend more and more time at work because you had to. He didn’t understand that being with a cop meant adjusting. He was unwilling constantly arguing with you about the fact you are always at work and never at home with. You tired to reason with him but he was unfazed and unwilling to change.
That was two years ago. You took on one less tour at work to appease him. From that point is when you realised you weren’t in love anymore, though looking back you don’t think you ever were. You realised only dated him because every expected you too. You never liked him romantically despite how much as you wish you did. You just didn’t. You fell in love with the idea of being in love with your best friend. The fantasy of falling and spending the rest of your life with the person who’d grown up with. Who doesn’t want to spend their life with their best friend? You certainly did but not now. You weren’t in love with him and you weren’t even his best friend anymore. He wasn’t the same person he was bitter, resentful and belittling but he was still in love with you, apparently.
You spent the rest of the next year, trying to work up the courage to break it off. You tried but whenever you’d start to talk about your relationship he’d shut you down. Distract you, do anything for you to stop talking about it. He’d bring up weddings, marriage, kids and the future. Even bringing in your parents, who loved him and reminding you that they were so excited to see the two of get married. Looking back on it now, you realise that what he was doing, he was making you feel guilty about even thinking about leaving him. Reminding you about ho long you’ve been together and how much he has sacrificed for you. Making sure you’d never leave him.
Ever since you both left College he’d been trying to propose but you always made a big deal of being too busy for anything. You knew however he proposed, it would be big,extravagant and public. You couldn’t reject him like that.
So you lived in misery up until last year. That’s when you were offered a transfer to Manhattan SVU in New York. You met Lieutenant Benson and Sergeant Tutuola after they came down to liaison on case. Someone who they had put away had been realised and seemed to have resurfaced in your neck of the woods. They were impressed by you and you had left it slip to Lieutenant Benson that you weren’t exactly happy. So she suggested a fresh start in a new city with new people. You took it as soon as she finished her sentence.
You put in transfer papers that evening.
That same evening, you went home adamant on telling him it was all over. That you were leaving and not planning to ever return to your childhood town, a dream he clung onto and often referenced. You got home and told him everything, how you were feeling and what you planned on doing. You said your part only to be met with a blank look and then a smile. He laughed and said you were talking nonsense. That you was moving was fine, he was willing to try long distance. You argued back saying that wasn’t what you wanted.
He insisted though that you were saying such ‘idiotic’ things because you had assumed that he wouldn’t want to try long distance but for you, he’d do anything. Then he grabbed your arm, a grip much harder than usual,reminding you that you’d never be alone your entire life. How would you cope, survive,live. He was circling you, breathing heavy, shooting these questions at you so fast that you couldn’t give him answers. Then he smiled, gave you a kiss on the cheek and told you everything will be okay because you had him.
Yes, you had him and he had you, under his control.
You moved to New York and it was the best decision you had ever made. You got yourself an apartment in the city and officially transferred to Manhattan SVU. Five out of the seven days in the week, you were free from him. You had agreed to go back every weekend, but for five days you got what you wanted.
On your first day at SVU, you feared that you wouldn’t meet the standard and get sent back. Manhattan SVU was infamous department, it had apprehended some of the biggest criminals on the east coast. They were one of the only departments in the whole country to actively try and almost succeed at getting rid of their rape-kit backlog. They had high expectations and you could only hope you could meet them.
Liv had explained to you the dynamics of the squad. You had met her and Sergeant Tutuola, though he insisted on you calling him Finn. Their were four other people on the ‘squad’ that hadn’t met. Their was Detective Amanda Rollins who was Finn’s partner, their was ADA Rafael Barba who wasn’t technically on the squad but was close enough, then their was Sergeant Mike Dodds, who was technically your Sergeant and finally Detective Dominick Carisi Jr, your partner and preferred to be called Sonny.
You were nervous about meeting everyone but especially nervous about meeting your new partner. You had always had good partners in the past and you feared what would happen if you didn’t get along with your new one.
Despite your fears, you got along with everyone when you eventually started. You fit perfectly in to the squad, though you soon realised that it was more of a family. Everyone had each others back. They were more than just a police department, they were a unit bonded by the drive o deal with the most sordid crimes in existence.
You got along with everybody but you really got along with your new partner.Sonny. He wasn’t anyone you’d met before. He was kind and sensitive but he could be scary and intimidating when he wanted too which was rare. He loved his family like you did yours. He loved kids as much as you did. You were a bit cold when you first met but you soon relaxed and became what he describe is a ‘complete and utter weirdo’. The two were great partners and had even better chemistry. You won’t say that you don’t find him attractive. He was extremely handsome.
The first year at SVU was one of the best years in your life. You finally found a home and that sense that the Captain you met when you were seen talked about. Despite still being in a relationship with someone you didn’t love. When you were in New York, when you were with Sonny, you forgot all about him.
Being partners meant you grew extremely close. Working at SVU meant lots of late nights which meant a lot of late nights at the station with Sonny. Doing paperwork, just talking to make sure each of you were still awake.
You waled about a lot things during your late nights. You childhoods, dreams, ambitions and yourselves. You were from a small town that no one has ever heard and he was from one of the famous cities in the world. You both were super close to your mothers. He had three sisters while you were only child. You soon learned everything about each other, he was your best friend.
As weeks and months passed your ‘liking’ towards him grew and grew until you felt something towards him that you hadn’t ever felt before. It took a while but you soon understood, realised what it was. It was love. True love. You didn’t know how he felt but you certainly knew how you did.
As much as the two of you talked their was one thing that you never went into detail about. Your relationship. Sonny knew you had a boyfriend and that was only because you had a picture of you two on your desk. He’d given it to you, a gift, so even when you were away, he was still with you. You never brought him, Sonny always did and when he did you’d stop, taken aback. You think he figured out that their wasn’t something, right about the two of you. He tried getting it out of you but you always resisted, trying to gloss over the topic as soon as possible, so you could go back to pretending.
You were always tense on Fridays. Friday night is when you took the train back to Philadelphia to go back to him. Every weekend. You found yourself curing every Friday morning as you packed your bag, promising this would be the last but it never was. You knew Sonny had realised that you were always different on Friday. You assume he’d grown tired of you being tense and miserable every Friday.
It was late one Thursday night at the office when he finally asked you about it. You were talking about something random when you suddenly caught sight of of the clock. Just gone midnight. You took a quick look at his picture and you sighed.
“What is it with you and Fridays?” Sonny asked causally having just watched your little realisation. “What do you mean?” you questioned, playing it off.
“You’re always weird on a Friday.” he elaborated.
“How so?” you asked playing along casually.
“You’re tense.” he continued.
“Well I’m always tense. You know how stressful it is working with you? ” you joked dryly in your usual fashion.
“Yeah, but you know most people relax on Fridays. It’s the end of the week, everyones looking froward to the weekend. But not you. Which you assume you would be considering you go see your boyfriend every weekend.” he explained.
“Sonny, I am fine.” you reassured with a smile looking up from your paperwork.
“Yeah, you are on everyday that isn’t a Friday.” he commented, studying your face.
“Have you got a problem?” you accused extremely uncomfortable.
“Yeah, I do because you have one. You’re my partner Y/N. If you’ve got a problem then so do I” he countered as if he’d been holding onto these feelings for a long time.
“How many times do I have to say ‘I’m okay’ before you believe me?” You asked with a sigh.
“Until you stop saying it and tell me what’s really going on.” he countered.
“There is nothing to tell.” you defended.
“Okay so why do you always so tense on a Friday? Why do you never talk about your boyfriend? And most importantly why do you flinch when someone mentions him? Why do you flinch when you see his picture?” he ranted as if asking these hurt him physically.
You couldn’t come up with an answer. You mumbled inaudibly unable to give an answer. You were helpless.
“What does he do to you, Y/N?” Sonny asked suddenly his voice sincere and worried.
He was looking dead at you. Pain in his eyes. You think he thought Justin was beating you. The look he gave you was hurt and heartbreaking.
“He doesn’t hit me. I know you think he does but he doesn’t. He’s never hit me, he’s grabbed me a few times but never hit me.” you reassured.
“That’s good.” he nodded, “What is it?”
You looked around cautiously ensuring , "It’s hard to explain.”
"I’ve got time.” he smiled sadly.
You both moved into the lock so no one could overhear. He also pushed a chair against the door so no one could come in. And you talked for what seemed like forever.
You told him about you guys met, how you got together, the life you’d had, how’d you tried to leave. Multiple times. You told him about all the things he said to you. How constantly insulted you and belittled your life choices. Always telling could have done better, be better. You told him that you had tried to leave, so many times but he’d get you to stay. Remind you that you needed him and how deserted both your families would be if you left. How sad your little town would be to see their golden couple broken after all this time. You told him that you don’t think you were ever in love it was just convent to be together, safe, familiar but now you felt trapped. Drowning, even. you told him that you kept telling yourself that this would be it, the last weekend but it never was. You kept going back because he controlled you and you didn’t know how.
“Y/N, he’s manipulating you.” Sonny stated leaning forward head in hands.
“I told you he doesn’t hit me.” you argued.
“He doesn’t need to. He’s using your emotions against you. trying to make you feel guilty about not being in love with him anymore.” he explained.
“No.” you whispered unable to believe it.
“Y/N. He only tells you that everyone will be disappointed in you and that you can’t live without him so you don’t leave.” he continued, looking back at you.
“No.” you repeated.
“Y/N, he’s controlling you.” he pleaded with you.
“But I do this job. I know the signs…” you fumbled unable to comprehend.
“You can see it everyday. You can deal with it and get people out of it everyday. But when it happens to you. You can be blinded. It’s not your fault. He made you think this way.” he explained.
“How could he do this to me? People don’t do this to people they love? How can he do this? He told me he loved me, how can do this?” you questioned, tears spilling down your face.
Sonny grabbed you and pulled you in. You sobbed into his chest as he placed kisses on the top of your head. He rocked you, gently.
“I don’t know. I don’t know how anyone could do this to you. You’re the funniest, strongest most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I don’t understand how anyone could do this to anyone let alone you. Only monsters do this. ” he comforted.
“Strongest?” you scoffed in disbelief.
“Hell yes, strongest. You’ve been doing everything you can to get out of this relationship. Your surviving it.” he reasoned.
“I’m surviving it but I’m not getting out of it.” you reminded, shaking your head.
“Y/N, you’ve dedicated your life to helping people, saving people from situations like these. Let someone help you. Let me help you but I can only do that if you want me to.” he informed but he was begging for you to agree.
“Please.” you agreed.
“Okay, good. Really good.” he nodded, flashing you a smile of relief at you.
‘What are we going to do?” you asked.
“First off you’re not going back their today and not ever.” he stated, “You didn’t leave anything of yours their did you?”
“No,” you informed, “I brought everything with me and whatever I take, I bring back.”
“Good, save me a trip.” he said standing up and beginning to pace.
“Sonny, if I don’t go. He’ll call and ask what I’m doing.” you mentioned.
“Then you won’t answer the phone.” he replied.
“But if I don’t answer he comes to my apartment here. Last time I tried, he came to my apartment and I lied and told him I was at work when he found me there.” you explained.
“You can stay at mine for the weekend.” he offered.
“I couldn’t do that to you…” you went to dispute.
“No, please. You won’t be any trouble or inconvenience. You can stay as long as you need.” he insisted.
“Are you sure?” you questioned.
“It’s the least I can do for you. You’ve done so much for me. For everyone.” he nodded.
“Thank you.” you said standing up.
“Don’t thank me. I would do anything for you. You’re…” he sighed.
You gave him a sad smile, understanding. You both went home after that. He told you to pack a bag and bring it to work later and you’d go home together. For once you felt normal on a Friday. The day seemed to go in high speed. Soon enough you found yourself staring at the clock, the bad by your feet, stewing yourself out. Then you felt Sonny’s hand on shoulder and he lead you to apartment.
It was exactly liked you’d expected. A man cave but due to all the women in his life it was well kept and clean. He insisted you sleep in his room while he crash on the couch. You protested but he won. you got settled for an hour. Sonny had taken your phone so if he did call you you wouldn’t get the call. Later he called you out of your room for Chinese on the couch while you watched a cheesy movies. One of your favourites.
He kept you entertained, making you laugh, smile. You kept catching yourself watching him laugh and just admiring and how wonderful he was and how lucky you were. You felt that overwhelming feeling, you wanted to tell him but refrained afraid he wouldn’t feel the same and even he did would he want to after all this.
You’d finished eating. You were both at other lying on the sofa. Legs on other ends but meeting each other in the middle, relaxing in silence.
“Hey Sonny, whats going to happen after this weekend?” you asked suddenly.
“What do you mean?” he replied.
“After this weekend, after next week, next weekend. What am I going to do? I can’t come here every weekend.” you elaborated.
“Break up with him.” he suggested.
“Tried that.” you reminded once again.
“Not with me.” he corrected.
“What do you mean?” you questioned.
“I mean this time around. I’m going to support you. Make sure you can get out and stay out. Hopefully, it will be easy. He lives in a different city, you haven’t got anything to go back to in Philly. You’ve got a home here. Though, since he knows where you live, you might need to get a new apartment but you can stay with me until you find one. And if does bother you, here we can get a restraint order so he doesn’t come around you. If we can’t get him on the abuse will get him if he harasses you after.” he explained.
“You’d do that for me?” you asked staring at him with wide eyes.
“How many times do I have tell you? I’d do anything for you.” he reassured taking your hands.
“I know. It’s just hard to believe sometimes.” you smiled sadly.
“Y/N, can I tell you something?” he asked.
“Of course.” you agreed.
“I know this is bad time. Ma, always said I gad awful timing but I don’t think I can go another moment without telling you this. I’ve always liked you, you know that. But for the past few months it’s grown into something more. I had a crush…What I’am trying to say is i really really like you and not in a friend way. In a romantic one and to be honest I don’t just like you. I think I’m in love with you.” he admitted.
“You love me?” you whispered.
“I know this is really bad time and you don’t need this right now. But yeah. I’ve known for a long time and I didn’t say anything because you were in a relationship and I didn’t think you’d like me back. And I don’t want you to think I’m doing all this to win points. i’d do it even if I wasn’t because you’re so nice to everyone. You don’t deserve it…” he began to ramble.
“I love you too.” you interrupted.
“What?” he questioned taking a deep breath.
“I said I love you too. For a long time. For almost nine years I thought I was in love but then I met you and I finally realised what love was.” you explained.
“You love me back.” he rejoiced, grabbing you and pulling you towards him.
He pulled your face close to his. His hands on his cheek as you held his wrists. With his thumbs he was wiping tears.
“You love me back.” he repeated, his own tears spilling.
You nodded. He leaned in about to kiss you before stopping.
“We shouldn’t.” he commented.
“Why not?” you questioned inching closer.
“You’re still in a relationship even if it’s with the scum of the earth.” he reminded.
“That relationship was over two years ago. You helped me see that. Today, it’s not even a relationship. You have to want to be in a relationship and I don’t want to.” you explained befriend kissing him yourself.
The force and surprise of it caused him to fall backwards, you on top of him. You were still kissing. You hands all over each other until he suddenly pulled away and grabbed your face again.
“Are you sure?” he asked for reassurance, “You’re emotional right now. I don’t want you to regret our first time. I don’t want to take advantage.” “Sonny, if their is one thing I’m sure about it’s how it’s how I feel about you. Someones been taken advantage of me for the last few years. I know what it is like. For once I’m making this decision, for me. And about regrets. I wouldn’t regret anything with you.” you reassured.
He gave you a quick smile before pulling you in again. You continued to kiss as he tugged your shirt off and you his. He picked you up, whispering he didn’t want to do this here. He carried you to the bedroom, kicked the door shut behind him.