programed by the system

Cleaning beaches with blockchain.

Almost 8 billion tons of plastic are dumped into the ocean each year. To help fight it, The Plastic Bank began offering people in developing countries incentives like basic necessities and mobile phone charging in exchange for recycling plastic. As the program grew in popularity, they needed a way to scale their incentive system in an accessible and economically-friendly way. That’s when they turned to IBM Blockchain. Learn how we worked together to help turn plastic into a currency for change.

See how they do it ->

if you don’t think tony stark’s security systems aren’t programmed to announce that “winter is coming” every time bucky enters the building you’re dead wrong

Ruin my chances at my dream job, will you? Please, let me return the favor.
(long story. tl;dr at the end)

I am a nurse. When I was in nursing school, I loved my rotation through ICU and wanted nothing more than to be an ICU nurse, because I eventually wanted to become a nurse anesthetist (ICU experience is required for anesthesia school). My first job after graduation was not in ICU, but after 10 months as a nurse, I was offered a position in a Multi-system ICU. It was a training program for new nurses and I was told I would get 16 weeks of training. Fantastic! I was so excited! Then right before I started, I was told, oops, no, you actually only get 6 weeks of training. Um, okay, kind of concerned that that’s not enough time, but I’m going to try my best. I was somewhat apprehensive, but still excited. Until I met my preceptor.

This girl was undoubtedly intelligent and knew her job, but she was so mean to me that I was regularly having near-panic attacks in the few weeks I worked there. She would send huge emails to the educator about how much I sucked, and would ream me out in front of other staff and patients (one time one of the other nurses had to intervene). The other girl who started the program at the same time as me even said how awful my preceptor was being to me. She was also arrogant as fuck, and always bragged about shit, like how her fiancé (who was a practicing nurse anesthetist and made a lot of money) paid all this money for her engagement ring, and paid all this money for his surprise proposal, and how once they were married and had kids if she wanted a thousand dollar baby stroller, that’s what he was going to buy her, and how her wedding was going to be so big and fancy and expensive and perfect. And she was one of those people who was “super Christian,” and was fake nice and passive aggressive when talking to you that it starts to make you wonder if you’re crazy for seeing the vile in them. I hated her with the fire of a thousand burning suns.

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makowolf96 submitted:

One of my favorite sci-fi takes on a modern weapon that I thought you might appreciate, the modified AK-47/AKM in the movie Elysium .

The modified AK-47/AKM takes inspiration from the XM-25 experimental airburst grenade launcher. It has a fictional attachment that combines a holosight, targeting laser, and rangefinder into an advanced targeting system. This targeting system links up with fictional airburst ammunition, programming the distance at which the round will detonate based on the range from the target. Each round has a kill radius of 5 meters, giving each about the equivalent explosive force of your average modern day 40mm grenade round. As demonstrated in the gif, this enables the modified AK-47/AKM to tear enemies apart, whether organic or robotic.

I’m not a huge fan of the AK, but this is perhaps one of my top favorite ballistic science fiction weapons, because it takes an already iconic rifle, and turns it into an absolute monster in an time setting where it is probably almost 200 years old, but without dramatically leaving the realm of realistic possibility in my opinion.

Such an interesting concept, and so easily overlooked during the film itself!

A ‘Forgotten History’ Of How The U.S. Government Segregated America

In 1933, faced with a housing shortage, the federal government began a program explicitly designed to increase — and segregate — America’s housing stock. Author Richard Rothstein says the housing programs begun under the New Deal were tantamount to a “state-sponsored system of segregation.”

The government’s efforts were “primarily designed to provide housing to white, middle-class, lower-middle-class families,” he says. African-Americans and other people of color were left out of the new suburban communities — and pushed instead into urban housing projects.

Rothstein’s new book, The Color of Law, examines the local, state and federal housing policies that mandated segregation. He notes that the Federal Housing Administration (FHA), which was established in 1934, furthered the segregation efforts by refusing to insure mortgages in and near African-American neighborhoods — a policy known as “redlining.” At the same time, the FHA was subsidizing builders who were mass producing entire white subdivisions — with the requirement that none of the homes be sold to African-Americans.

Rothstein says that these decades-old housing policies have had a lasting effect on American society. “The segregation of our metropolitan areas today leads … to stagnant inequality, because families are much less able to be upwardly mobile when they’re living in segregated neighborhoods where opportunity is absent,” he says. “If we want greater equality in this society, if we want a lowering of the hostility between police and young African-American men, we need to take steps to desegregate.”

Space Missions Come Together in Colorado

Our leadership hit the road to visit our commercial partners Lockheed Martin, Sierra Nevada Corp. and Ball Aerospace in Colorado. They were able to check the status of flight hardware, mission operations and even test virtual reality simulations that help these companies build spacecraft parts.

Let’s take a look at all the cool technology they got to see…

Lockheed Martin

Lockheed Martin is the prime contractor building our Orion crew vehicle, the only spacecraft designed to take humans into deep space farther than they’ve ever gone before.

Acting NASA Deputy Administrator Lesa Roe and Acting NASA Administrator Robert Lightfoot are seen inside the CHIL…the Collaborative Human Immersive Laboratory at Lockheed Martin Space Systems in Littleton, Colo. Lockheed Martin’s CHIL enables collaboration between spacecraft design and manufacturing teams before physically producing hardware.

Cool shades! The ability to visualize engineering designs in virtual reality offers tremendous savings in time and money compared to using physical prototypes. Technicians can practice how to assemble and install components, the shop floor can validate tooling and work platform designs, and engineers can visualize performance characteristics like thermal, stress and aerodynamics, just like they are looking at the real thing.

This heat shield, which was used as a test article for the Mars Curiosity Rover, will now be used as the flight heat shield for the Mars 2020 rover mission.

Fun fact: Lockheed Martin has built every Mars heat shield and aeroshell for us since the Viking missions in 1976.

Here you can see Lockheed Martin’s Mission Support Area. Engineers in this room support six of our robotic planetary spacecraft: Mars Odyssey, Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter, MAVEN, Juno, OSIRIS-REx and Spitzer, which recently revealed the first known system of seven Earth-size planets around a single star, TRAPPIST-1. They work with NASA centers and the mission science teams to develop and send commands and monitor the health of the spacecraft.

See all the pictures from the Lockheed Martin visit HERE

Sierra Nevada Corporation

Next, Lightfoot and Roe went to Sierra Nevada Corporation in Louisville, Colo. to get an update about its Dream Chaser vehicle. This spacecraft will take cargo to and from the International Space Station as part of our commercial cargo program.

Here, Sierra Nevada Corporation’s Vice President of Space Exploration Systems Steve Lindsey (who is also a former test pilot and astronaut!) speaks with Lightfoot and Roe about the Dream Chaser Space System simulator.

Lightfoot climbed inside the Dream Chaser simulator where he “flew” the crew version of the spacecraft to a safe landing. This mock-up facility enables approach-and-landing simulations as well as other real-life situations. 

See all the images from the Sierra Nevada visit HERE.

Ball Aerospace

Lightfoot and Roe went over to Ball Aerospace to tour its facility. Ball is another one of our commercial aerospace partners and helps builds instruments that are on NASA spacecraft throughout the universe, including the Hubble Space Telescope and the New Horizons mission to Pluto. Ball designed and built the advanced optical technology and lightweight mirror system that will enable the James Webb Space Telescope to look 13.5 billion years back in time. 

Looking into the clean room at Ball Aerospace’s facility in Boulder, Colo., the team can see the Ozone Mapping Profiler Suite. These sensors are used on spacecraft to track ozone measurements.

Here, the group stands in front of a thermal vacuum chamber used to test satellite optics. The Operation Land Imager-2 is being built for Landsat 9, a collaboration between NASA and the U.S. Geological Survey that will continue the Landsat Program’s 40-year data record monitoring the Earth’s landscapes from space.

See all the pictures from the Ball Aerospace visit HERE

We recently marked a decade since a new era began in commercial spaceflight development for low-Earth orbit transportation. We inked agreements in 2006 to develop rockets and spacecraft capable of carrying cargo such as experiments and supplies to and from the International Space Station. Learn more about commercial space HERE.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

anonymous asked:

What part of the US constitution allows Bernie Sander's programs? Why should we have a single payer system when the VA is a single payer system and lets down our veterans?

This is the age-old argument about the limits of the Constitution.Does the Constitution grant power to government or grant rights to people? 

In this case, I would argue that it does not matter, In the preamble of the constitution it reads:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. (x)

We establish this Constitution to promote the general Welfare, it is explicit in the text. People may argue what general Welfare means. to better understand the framing of those words at the time, let’s look at Dictionary of the English language by Samuel Johnson (1768). To place some context of timing, The constitution was written in 1787 and would be ratified by 1788 and would be put into effect by 1789, making this the dictionary closest in time-period to the Constitution.

General: the whole, in totality

Welfare: happiness, prosperity

At the time the Constitution was written, those words would have been perceived to mean to promote happiness and prosperity of the whole of the People of the United States of America. 

Do those two things not promote the prosperity of the whole, if they are given to all equally?


On the VA, Republicans have consistently cut funding to Veterans programs, including the VA.

So it seems disingenuous to call into question why the VA is failing while there is a history of lack of support. It is also interesting how you do not bring up the largest single payer healthcare system in the US, The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services(CMS).

This is likely because it is difficult to find a compelling argument for your side here:

It seems to me that a single payer system is still superior, especially since the Kaiser Family foundation concluded:
  • In most local markets, providers have monopoly power. Consequently, private insurers lack the bargaining power to contain prices.
  • In most areas, two or three dominant insurers dominate the regional market, limit competition and make it extremely difficult if not impossible for new insurers to enter the marketplace and stimulate price competition.
  • Medicare Advantage, which enrolls seniors in private health plans, has failed to deliver care more efficiently than traditional fee-for-service Medicare. Both the CBO and the Medicare Payment Advisory Commission (MedPAC), the commission which advises congress on Medicare’s finances, have calculated that Medicare Advantage plans covering the same care as traditional Medicare cost 12 percent more
  • Karen Ignagni, who heads America’s Health Insurance Plans (AHIP), the insurance industry’s trade association, has admitted that private plans cannot bargain down provider costs and has asked Washington to intervene.

Even private insurers are looking for the government to step in and help them on their pricing, why not just cut the profit centers out of the deal and save that money?

- @theliberaltony

Random Anthropology Stuff

I’m studying for my Anthropology final tomorrow and one way I study is copying my notes down on paper and/or on a virtual document. So I thought I’d use Tumblr to write down some of my notes while also sharing with you guys some random Anthropology stuff.

Enjoy!


Medical Anthropology

  • It’s the study of health, illness, and healing across the range of human societies and over the course of human experience, with an emphasis on how members of the community direct their behaviors, articulate their ideas, and organize their resources in these realms.
  • Medicine: Any and all practices that are intended to address or alleviate what a given group of people consider to be an affliction in need of attention.
  • Biomedicine: The medicine of hospitals and mainstream doctors of the industrialized world.
  • Health: A dynamic condition combining individuals, society, and an adaption to the environment.
  • Sickness: diseases and illnesses
    • disease: a condition that is objectively identified with a medical label or diagnostic name, based on externally established signs. 
    • illness: the more subjective perception of the individual experience of suffering.
  • All medical systems, including our own, are shaped by culture.
  • Two Broad Divisions in Medical Anthro: biocultural and cultural
    • biocultural approaches: an anthropological view of the ways in which people adapt to their environment and change that environment that makes healthy conditions better or worse.
    • cultural approaches: emphasizes the role of ideas, beliefs, and values in creating systems of illness classification and medical programs for curing.

Language

  • Human communication by means of shared symbols which can be linguistic or non-linguistic 
  • No one is intrinsically superior (no language is better than another)
  • Sociolinguistics: the study of linguistic diversity; looks at language in its social context, examining relationships between social and linguistic variation.
    • style shifts: how you may talk to your boss vs. how you may talk to your best friend.
  • Gender differences: there is a linguistic variation between men and women.
    • Women are more likely to speak Standard English
    • Language reflects position of power
    • Women end sentences with an intonation of uncertainty. 
  • Linguistic variation reflects social, political, and economic forces
  • “Proper Langauge” is a strategic resource
  • Black English Vernacular (BEV): Ebonics is a systematic and rule-governed linguistic system.
    • there was a national debate about it in the mid-1990s
    • Standard English is not superior to BEV as a linguistic system, but they do have different prestige
  • Sign language: a complex, culture-laden system of communication.
    • a manual communication to convey words and thoughts.

Social Inequality and Control

  • Social Stratified Societies: contain social groups that have unequal access to important advantages.
    • economic resources
    • power
    • prestige
  • Egalitarian: contain no social stratification
    • bands or tribes
    • tribes have “Big Men”
    • no differential access to power, prestige, or economic resources
      • same opportunity to gain prestige through sharing
      • same access to hunting areas
      • etc.
    • men hunt and women gather
    • younger men/women provide food and older men/women carry the myths and wisdom
    • the ecological base of hunters and gathers and tribes leads to an egalitarian society
      • must share - cannot hoard
      • everyone dependent on the other for survival
      • cooperation essential between members
      • environment dictates cooperation and sharing
  • Rank Societies: usually are agricultural or herding societies.
    • primarily found in chiefdoms
    • chiefs are different from “Big Men” in many ways
      • this position is ascribed even though it’s still kin-based
      • chiefs are full-time political specialists in charge of economic production, distribution, and consumption
    • slight inequality regarding prestige (aka @ the ascribed role)
    • Ecological base:
      • larger and more sedentary
      • have a surplus - can save up
      • have redistribution from different ecological areas
      • still kinship
  • Class Societies: unequal access to power, prestige, and economic resources.
    • found with states
    • Ecological base:
      • extremely sedentary and have large populations
      • much surplus
      • extreme specialization
      • nucleation, centralization of power, and diversification of labor
  • Social Control in Kin-Based Societies: social control is the responsibility of the kin groups.
    • kin act as mediators
    • personal intervention
  • Social Control in Class-Based Societies: punishment meant to be impartial and impersonal
    • more formalized
  • Four Types of Social Control: law, gossip and ridicule, witchcraft, and the threat of the supernatural.
    • law: a social norm whose violation is punishable by threat of or application of physical force by a legitimate official or body
      • focus is on harmony
      • not necessarily codified
    • gossip and ridicule: found in all societies and is especially important in kin-based groups
    • witchcraft: used to harm other people
    • supernatural: fear of punishment (hell, karma, etc.)
  • Power of the States: coercive powers, hegemony, appeasement, the anthropological other.
    • hegemony: the power of solidarity of the state as created by the consent of the governed.
      • it is in a stratified social order in which subordinates comply with the domination by internalizing its values and accepting its “naturalness”
      • the positive outcomes of development and “progress” are highlighted
      • the costs and inequalities are masked
      • often promises are made - “if you are patient, the costs of progress will eventually pay off”
      • often is it wrongly assumed that those suffering from inequalities are really to blame or that they just need to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps”
    • appeasement: an industrial class base society gives the basic necessities to the poor/needy; meant to help control.
    • the anthropological “other”: lack power, legitimacy, and validity
      • their knowledge is dismissed
      • suffer from cultural poverty
      • dichotomy of otherness leads to mistreatment of the “other

Religion and Worldview

  • Religion: the belief in the supernatural and behavior for dealing with it; whether that power is forces, gods, spirits, ghosts, or demons.
    • religion is a cultural universal
  • Supernatural: power believed to be not human or not subject to the laws of nature.
  • Probably dates back to the time of Neanderthal (religion)
  • Not all religions have a belief in a god or gods
  • Why is Religion a Cross-Cultural Universal? - Some Theories…
    • the need to understand: religion originates in people’s speculation about dreams, trances, and death
      • animism: belief that there is a physical body separate from a soul
      • Tylor’s student argues instead for animatism
      • animatism: the belief in impersonal, supernatural forces
    • reversion to childhood feelings: we look to religion to fulfill the role that our parents filled when we were children
      • all knowing and all powerful
    • anxiety and uncertainty: we turn to religion during times of anxiety and uncertainty.
    • the need for community: focus is on social needs
      • religious beliefs and practices affirm a person's’ place in society, enhance feelings of community, and give people confidence
  • Types of Supernatural Forces and Beings:
    • mana: a supernatural force that is impersonal and is thought to inhabit some objects, people, or animals, but not others
    • taboo: persons, objects, animals, or places that are not to be touched because their power can cause harm
    • gods: supernatural beings with non-human origins and are named personalities
    • ghosts and ancestor spirits: supernatural beings that may act in a guardian way doing good deeds
      • others act in mischief
      • they were once human
      • were born of a human woman
  • Structure of Supernatural:
    • monotheistic religions: have one supreme or high god with other lesser supernatural beings
      • the gods/spirits are ranked in power and prestige
      • ex: Christianity and Islam
    • polytheistic religions: recognize many important gods with no one supreme god
      • ex: Ancient Rome, Greek, Egyptian, Mayan religions
  • Non-Western Worldview
    • can’t separate natural and supernatural
    • equality between humans and their environment
    • personalized relationship between spirits, nature, and humans
    • power is manipulated through ritual
    • nothing happens by chance
    • based on origin narratives
  • All humans engage in rituals 
  • Ways of Interacting With the Supernatural:
    • prayer: asking for supernatural help; can take many forms
    • altering the body or mind: i.e. Yanomamo use of ebene, Native Americans and peyote, Native Americans and vision quests, and Kung San drumming and dancing
    • trance: common altered state, can be possession trances
    • stimulation: where one thing stands for something else; black magic voodoo
    • divination: getting the supernatural force to provide guidance
    • sacred meal(s)
    • sacrifice: some of value is given up to the gods, whether is be food, animals, or people
  • Magic:
    • magic vs. prayer:
      • magic- compelling
      • praying- pleading/asking
    • sorcery and witchcraft: both invoke the spirits to work harm against people
      • sorcery: may include the use of material, objects, and medicines to invoke the supernatural malevolence 
      • witchcraft: accomplishes the same ills as sorcery but by means of thought and emotion alone
      • Most seen in societies as a social control when the population is far too large for gossip and ridicule and when the population is much too small for judges, juries, and police
  • Ritual: a repetitive social practice composed of a sequence of symbolic activities in the form of dance, song, speech, gestures, or the manipulation of objects, adhering to a cultrually defined ritual schema and closely connected to a specific set of ideas that are often encoded in myth.
    • four elements to rituals: repetition, set off from everyday life, adheres to culturally defined ritual schema, and connected to ideas encoded in a myth
  • Rites of Passage: going from one status to another
    • a ritual that serves to mark the movement and transformation of an individual from one social position to another
    • three stages: separation, transition, reaggregation
3

On an overcast late-spring afternoon, a group of bird lovers from the Earth Conservation Corps are in a boat on Washington, D.C.’s Anacostia River, and point out an osprey circling overhead. “This is like their summer vacation spot and where they have their young,” says Bob Nixon, in the boat. “Then they spend most of their lives in the Amazon.”

It wasn’t so long ago that the ospreys – and other large birds of prey known as raptors – avoided this place. The Anacostia, often called Washington’s forgotten river, was too polluted to support wildlife. Nearly nine miles long, the river flows from Maryland into the Potomac, but became infamous in the second half of the 20th century as one of the most neglected, trash-choked waterways in the United States – a blighted river amid blighted neighborhoods.

But in recent years, the Anacostia has seen a rebirth. Thanks to the efforts of the Earth Conservation Corps — which Nixon, a filmmaker and conservationist, started 25 years ago — there are now four osprey nests on the river’s Frederick Douglass Memorial Bridge. “We’ve turned this into a raptor hotel,” says Nixon.

In 1994, two years into the Earth Conservation Corps’ work, Washington was in the midst of a crack epidemic, with a murder rate topping 400 a year. At that low point in the city’s recent history, Nixon had the idea to bring the bald eagle back to the nation’s capital. It had disappeared decades earlier.

Between 1994 and 1998, members of the corps raised and released 16 bald eagles. Anthony Satterthwaite and Burrell Duncan fed the very first eaglets – hatched in Wisconsin and delivered to Washington to start the reintroduction program – by hiding in the woods and sending fish via a clothesline pulley system into the boxes where the baby birds were kept high up in a poplar tree. They couldn’t let the young birds see them, for fear that they’d imprint on humans.

When the birds were old enough, the boxes were opened.

“To see these birds fly away from this box they were in for three months – just joy, man,” says Satterthwaite. “Just joy.”

They named the eagles in memory of their fallen friends — Monique Johnson and the other corps members they’d lost over the years.

“We wasn’t supposed to live to see the age of 21,” says Satterthwaite. “We was just as endangered as this majestic bird. So it became very powerful and we connected the two, and that’s why we started our raptor education program with Rodney Stotts.”

This year, there are three eagle’s nests in Washington. A naming contest was held for one of the eaglets, which hatched March 15 in southwest Washington. The winning name: Spirit. Its parents are Liberty and Justice.

“We no longer have to name them after dead colleagues,” says Nixon.

In Washington, D.C., A Program In Which Birds And People Lift Each Other Up

Photos: Claire Harbage/NPR

i see your “neil takes over the foxes” headcanons but since thats canonically dan’s dream it makes me feel a little uneasy putting neil in that role so i give to you another option: neil starting a charity for underprivileged kids to get to play exy

  • it starts with neil volunteering teaching kids exy at an after school community center program
  • but then he starts noticing this girl who always watches the practices from the bleachers but never plays
  • so one day while the kids are cleaning up neil goes over and talks to her and is like “you know we could always use more players, the more the merrier”
  • and she explains that she would but she couldnt afford the gear. or at least she’s too worried to ask her parents about the price
  • and neil gets really sad and mopey about it because everyone should be able to try something they’re interested in
  • eventually andrew is like oh my god just buy the girl a damn racquet im so sick of you being annoying about this
  • so neil does. he gets the gear and he realizes by now that she probably cant or wont except it as a gift so he decides to get some extras as loaners for other kids so she wont feel bad about it
  • and this inspires him so he starts talking to some local youth groups about donating racquets and armor like around christmas and stuff
  • and soon the other OG foxes and some of neil’s pro friends hear about it and are like yo how can we help
  • so he gets like memorabilia signed, a racquet by kevin and posters by matt and thea and jerseys by jean and jeremy and goalie shit signed by andrew and stuff and has it all auctioned off for insanely high prices and uses all the money to give low income and at risk kids gear and donations to schools and community centers and stuff who want to build exy courts
  • and allison might not be pro but shes rich af so she helps out by making matching deals like if we raise x amount at this fundraiser she’ll match it by a certain amount
  • and it soon becomes a Thing, he’s suddenly not just known as the smart mouth who makes reporters cry hes now the smart mouth who is mean to reporters but apparently has a heart of gold because now he’s a major philanthropist
  • and he just loves being able to do this so much?? so it gets bigger and bigger so he visits the childrens hospital aaron and katelyn work at to make the kids smile and he talks to physical therapists about how practicing exy drills can help patients (kevin did it so could others) and gives them whatever they need for that
  • and he gets contacts with a bunch of social workers and foster care departments and works with juvie systems to get exy programs there with andrew in mind
  • and through renee he gets americorps and programs who help kids at risk for gang violence and for dan he finds programs for minors who because of economic reasons get into sex work and for matt drug prevention programs
  • and after he retires from being pro he does this full time and it feels good
  • but he never stops teaching at his community center

hi everyone! some people are starting school soon, meanwhile, others have already started. i’ve noticed a lot of people who are freshmen, or upcoming freshmen, and i’d like to give my own advice from personal experience! i seriously wished i followed some of these tips.

1. whether or not your current friends will be at your high school, this is a great time to make new friends. you may not think so right now, but you might become really close to them in the future.

2. just a psa, you might lose some friends in high school. that is fine! the reasons can range from unnecessary drama to just having no classes together. you will find better friends, i promise.

3. people say that high school isn’t what you see in movies, but cliques are still very real. you will probably have your own clique-like group at some point, but do be open to people. don’t just focus on your friends when that new kid could use new friends too.

4. you might have a teacher that will ruin your grades/gpa. i genuinely mean that you might end up with a teacher that ruins your 4.0 gpa or your goal for straight a’s, no matter how much effort you put into the class. do not underestimate yourself, learn what you can yourself and move on. you will do better, trust me, those teachers exist for a reason other than to make you suffer, i swear.

5. sign up for electives, clubs, sports, etc. that you want to try out. you will find people with similarities to you, and you will need that time to have fun and not study relentlessly.

6. while it doesn’t hurt to learn a language, instead of taking a foreign language class for colleges, take it and apply what you learn. foreign languages are really helpful and fun too, especially if you get to study abroad or go travel to foreign countries!

7. remember that you can talk to your guidance counselor at school if you have any problems. they want you to have a good school year too. teachers, parents, and even close friends can be good people to go to.

8. please, don’t take an ap class (or any class with college credit) if you aren’t willing to work hard in those classes and actually study. i see freshmen do this all the time, and it only wastes your time. it might be better to delay those classes for sophomore year or later.

9. the only reason why upperclassmen seem like they dislike freshmen is that some freshmen are too immature (and frankly, some of them can truly be a nuisance). otherwise, most of them will not bite, so don’t worry!

10. it is important that you do well in your freshman year, so try not to slack off. those grades are your foundation to your gpa!

11. if you do slack off freshman year, it’s okay, colleges like to see students who improve their grades. start sophomore year off with awesome grades. ☆

12. don’t stress so much over college, because you have time to slowly prepare for it! unlike the seniors who are in their second semester, you can plan on what to do to help you prepare for college.

13. don’t have time for something? make time, or find time. you have “time”, you just prioritize certain things over others, that’s all. time management is very important in high school.

14. you might want to improve those bad habits (ahem, procrastination) now. it will help you when you have three tests on the same day, and nobody wants to finish an essay at one in the morning the night before it’s due.

15. don’t take a class just because your friend will take it, you will probably regret it. i did this and i got my schedule changed by the school, so i had a class with none of my friends. it was tedious.

16. this is practically the opposite of #8, but don’t refuse to take a college level class because you think you will fail. (unless you’re contemplating ap calculus when you struggle to graph algebraic functions, then, you know, maybe not). it’s good to challenge yourself sometimes.

17. don’t feel pressured to do something just because it’s mainstream, or that certain people do it. try to learn to stop caring about what people think of you, or at least ignore any negative prejudice around you. their opinions are irrelevant.

18. learn to find your identity, it will take a while. that’s fine, but have fun, make new friends, do fun activities, work hard, and most importantly, be healthy and happy!!

19. do not put school over health. i beg of you, do not pull all nighters either. your physical and mental health is the most important.

20. if you get sick, contact your friends to know what you missed. or have them get your work and give it to you. or even better, email your teachers. i hate doing work when i’m sick, however, it might be better than making up your work while working on your current work after you go back to school.

21. i know people say “don’t stress” which is much harder said than done. you will probably have days when you procrastinate on so many assignments, or when you didn’t do an assignment and you need to finish it as soon as possible. break it down to little pieces and work on it. take breaks. if you are truly stressed, leave your work alone and relax because that is the most important.

22. when you are having a conversation with someone, listen to them rather than wait to reply to them. it’s amazing how many people don’t do this with their own friends. this isn’t exactly related to school, but people do this with their own teachers too, so grasp the directions teachers give you.

23. do the extra credit, especially if it’s small. it might help you from getting an 89.4% in the class.

24. i won’t elaborate on this, but it does help to take certain necessities to school. gum, extra pencils/pens, makeup, brush, etc.

25. unless it is required, don’t take a class just because you want to look good for college. getting into one can be very competitive, and sometimes taking a class you despise might put very little effort into getting into college.

26. learn what you study and apply it, and review it in the future. don’t learn to study, study to learn. if you have never needed to study, start now. even if you still don’t need it. because at some point you will, and if you develop good habits now, you will thank yourself.

27. figure out what kind of learner you are. it helps if you get a teacher that confuses you. do you learn better from pictures? audio? textbooks? figure that out now, if you haven’t. study smarter, not harder!

28. small advice: don’t talk in class and don’t block the hallways. sincerely, someone who walks all over the school five days a week while focusing in seven classes.

29. take advantage of what can help you study better! apps/programs, ambient music, reward systems, pomodoro, etc. figure out what works for you so you can study efficiently.

30. most importantly, work hard and study, but not too hard to the point where your health and mind suffers. good luck to you all.  ♡

PSA: For hackers still on 11.3, you can still play online with ctr-httpwn.

For anyone using Soundhax on 11.3, you may have noticed you are blocked from going to faraway towns or Club Tortimer. When attempting to access these features, you will be told that you need to update. However, you can still use these features without updating! The answer is ctr-httpwn.

What is ctr-httpwn?

ctr-httpwn allows hackers to prevent their 3DS from forcing them to update. As simple as that. This handy-dandy tool is included in the standard homebrew starter kit. If for some reason you do not have ctr-httpwn in your homebrew launcher, you can download it here

How to use ctr-httpwn.

To use ctr-httpwn, follow these simple steps:

1. Launch Homebrew (Cannot be used with browserhax! Soundhax is okay!)

2. Scroll down to ctr-httpwn icon as seen below and run it.

3. Press A when given the prompt. 

4. Wait until it says “Done.” and press start.

5. Once back on the Homebrew menu, press start and then press X to return to your 3DS menu without rebooting. (This is important!)

6. And finished! You’re ready to play online! 

Reminder: ctr-httpwn will deactivate if you turn off your system. You have to run this program following the above steps every time you want to play online in acnl after restarting your 3DS. 

Open letter to the medical system:

I should not have to repeat my story and my history to numerous people. It is hard enough to say it once. Then you make me say it to the nurse, and the psychiatrist working in the ER, and the psychiatrists and social workers up in the psych ward. Then I come to PHP, and have to tell it to the admissions person, the doctor, the nurse, and the social worker there.

I’M TIRED OF REPEATING MYSELF. I sign releases of information so that you can get info from my outpatient providers. And within institutions (like hospitals) there should be some level of communication! I saw the nurse entering stuff in the computer, and yet I have to go through it again with the social worker.

Sincerely,
An exhausted patient.

Powerful Self-Love Affirmation

Today is the day I set myself free, I let myself go forward,
I let people in, Realizations in, Growth in,  Awareness in.
I educate myself to sense resistance, emotionally unlearn conditioning I’ve been brought up with Unaware, asleep.
I break down the programming, build a system of beliefs for myself from the ground up. I feel the weightlessness of my Being now I have dropped the baggage of labels. Labels of gender/ conforming / settling/ but this is what is expected of me/ I can’t do this/ that/ the other/ because *they* said so.
I understand “they” don’t know what makes me happy, what keeps me up at night looking for direction, on a quest for inspiration.  I will keep seeking for myself - WITHIN- myself. I know the questions and answers and the galaxies are all within that beautiful mind and soul of mind. Source: www.instagram.com/banij

To know more about my personal law of attraction coaching, click here. 

The Emoji Movie Script

the world we live in. it’s so… wonderous. mysterious. even magical. no… no no no.. not that world. i meant this one. the smartphone. each system and program app is it’s own little planet of perfect. technology. all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. look who just sent me a text! addie mccallister? it must be a mistake. or a joke. or a scam! don’t send her your social security number. she’s right there! that’s our user, alex. and, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. and, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster… phones down in five. and attention spans get shorter and shorter… and… you’re probably not even listening to me right now. who has the time to type out actual words? and that’s where we come in. the most important invention in the history of communication! emo gees. that’s my home! textopolis. here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. merry christmas! it’s still september, tim! and princesses… i am so pretty. they just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. we are so pretty. devil, poop, thumbs up, they just show up and they’re good to go. but for the faces, the pressure is on. cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. hurray, i’m a millionaire! laugher’s always laughing, even if he’s just broken his arm. ahh!! ah! i can see the bone!! ah ah ah ah ah… and me, i’m a meh. so i gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? like meh, who cares. which is not as easy as it sounds. i gotta be mehhhhhhhhh i GOTTA! be! mehhhhhhhhh morning misses D, i see you have the little minis with ya! oh, they’re so… cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN’T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! it’s hard to only act blasé. when, living in textopolis is…. just so exciting! hah low good simeans! those ah some shalp attach shays! yes, well we have business to attend to. whot kind off business? monkey business. ha ha ha ha, i sounded british. meh… Oh, that was really good.. meh ? meh … meh ha ha… what the freak ya doing there, mate? practicing. today is my first day on the phone. oh, droit. i’m gonna be so.. meh. what are you going to do? blah! me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! woo! puh-zow! gooday, mate! hey, koh knee chee wah! sorry emote icons!! oh, I hate knocking over the elderly.. let me help, let me help… oh, my colon!!! ducks… hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! woo ooh hoo! woo hoo! right on time! and last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! huh? huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? ho ho ha ha ha! now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. gene, please tell me you weren’t laughing just now. gene so help me i swear oh, he was, I remember. let’s go see if you can get it right. i have some bad news, gene, and i’m afraid that you’ll have the wrong reaction. ok, what’s the wrong reaction? anything other than meh. come on! i don’t want to be late! i’m not letting you go to work today. wait, WHAT? you’re just not ready, son. come on!! working in a cube is an Emoji’s whole purpose in life! everybody my age is working on the phone except for me! oh sweetie, that’s not true. ow! YEAH! i’m going to work on the phone and I’m only ten! that’s because I believe in you! should we wash our hands? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! we’re number two! we’re number two! see? i, i know i’m different, ok? but, i need to… i can be meh… i just… want to be a working emoji, you know, like… everybody else… and then… i would finally fit in, you know? ah, you fit in, honey. no I don’t, mom. I never have. but I could change all that if you just let me! just give me a chance! but what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? no dad, i’ll make the right face! look! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah? you’re so handsome when you make that face. i think he’s ready, mel. meh. come on, dad. let me prove it to you. if you really think you’re ready… YES! yes i am! i promise i won’t let you down! wow! Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you! oh, it’s really her! oh, pizza! first day on the job, hi, hi! don’t be nervous! i won’t bite! hi, i’m smiler! ho ho ho ho ho… DON’T TOUCH ME! Hi! i mean.. hey.. as you know, i’m smiler, i’m the system supervisor here, because I was the original emoji. here’s how it works. it’s nothing fancy! wait a minute… it’s really fancy! you each have your own cube on the emoji bar! if alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up! it’s showtime! the scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to alex’s text box. and let me tell you guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. a har, you’re gonna love it. now over here is the favorites section, where you’ll find all the most popular emo gees. and of course, you’ll find my cube here. whoo. you are smooth. just doing my duty. ha ha ha! what did i say? come on, tell me you aren’t just a little bit tempted? steven, for the last time, i don’t want to buy a timeshare. come on, man, it’s high five! you know me! i’m a favorite! Alex hasn’t picked you in weeks. when he stops picking you, you’re no longer a favorite. there’s gotta be some sort of mistake, i mean, look at me, i’m an attractive, hand-giving high five! oh! fistbump! come on in! hey, ladies! FISTBUMP? he’s a knucklehead! literally! look at him, I can look like that! ugh, ow, cramp.. big mistake.. oh… help me.. help up a hand.. oh… here you go… thanks mate… hey, little man, how about you create a distraction, and i’ll just slip under the rope! uh, oh, is someone lost? smiler, hiya, just leaving. yeah, you know, just killing time before i go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can’t even See Me ANYMORE! you may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place, in a cube! yeah, in the nosebleeds… uh, i’m standing right here? words hurt. the most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself… basically, happy itself… i am always smiling… places, please! emo gees to your cubes! attention, we’ve got incoming! gotta be meh, gotta be meh. oh my gosh, my own cube! i can’t believe it… oh, i could put a plant over here, and over here could go an inspirational calendar, okay, gotta be meh… look at our son get on there, i’m beaming… with pride! you don’t think he’ll actually get picked, do you? heiroglyphics. heiroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. does that remind anyone of anything. hello. a language of pictures… anyone? early heiroglyphics back in ancient… i gotta reply to addie’s text! what should i write? nothing! nothing? words aren’t cool. ok, be cool, be cool… alright, alex is not sure how he wants to play this… oh! i would really love it to be me! beam me up! beam me up! i need thumbs up on standby! oh yeah! thumbs up is going in! wait! alex is changing his mind! he’s moving! ok, looks like it’s gonna be meh… i’m so nervous, i could almost shrug. we are go for meh! initiating scan! okay, you can do this. ah! i can’t do this! i can’t do it! stop the scan! i can’t, it’s too late! oh! what’s he doing? he’s making the wrong face! good for him, little… wait, what? ugh. abort, abort! oh, shi… shut it down, shut it down! ah! what is that emoji? all the emo gees present, evacuate the cube! evacuate the cube! i gotta get out of here! i’m trying! oh, jeez. sorry, everybody. that is not what i meant to do! i kinda.. i kinda panicked.. are you even a meh at all? uh, who, me? like you are, is a malfunction! a malfunction? no, i can be meh, just give me one more chance? you know what would be really fun? a board meeting, where we can find out what to do with you! i just wanted to be useful, you know, fit in! now everybody’s calling me a malfunction. i am a malfunction. even if you are a malfunction, gene, your mom and dad still love ya. i knew you weren’t ready. let’s get you out of here and take you home. one day, all of this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. wait, you’re gonna hide me away? you’re embarrased of me. it’s for your own safety. we’re trying to protect you, son. gene, where are you going? i’m not going to run away from this. i’m an emoji, and, even though i’m not exactly sure which one… i’ve gotta have some sort of purpose here, i know it. gene, no! sweetie, please! so, how’d it go, gavel? hey, lightbulb, tell me what’s going on in there. what… poop… what is it? tell me turd, tell me truth. what happened? i know it was an accident. we all have accidents you’re so soft, poop. not too soft, i hope. i came up here to defend myself, but, uh, you seem pretty happy. so, good news? i’m always happy. oh, right, yeah, truth. but the only thing that could ever make me unhappy, is if one of our emo gees has made a mistake. which would cause alex to lose faith in the phone… and then, our whole gets wiped out! smiler, i devil pinky swear promise to you that i will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. oh, we know you won’t, gene. we know you won’t! ha ha, you know, the first time you said it it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and, and then, now it’s weird. we’re setting you up! with our best anti virus bots! so they’ll, like, uh, they’ll just, they’re gonna fix me? actually, delete you. but yes! wait, what? if you get deleted, you don’t have to worry about department heads, or the future, or lying about being a malfunction! because you’re deleted, right? right! good job! bots! no! stop, he’s escaped! party time! oh, wait a minute… the air is better here! beer, tea… i’m coffee! sorry… ish… so ish e. my old cube! ugh, pinkeye. mike! my name’s not mike… ah! there’s AV bots coming! what, me? just because i’m in the wrong section? holy toledo! what do we do? quick! this way! let’s go! don’t tell anyone you’re about to see this. they’ll never find us down here. where are we? the basement? nope. welcome to the loser lounge, where the emo gees who never get used, hang out. go fish! fishcake with swirls sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. i almost got deleted! me! high five! hey, what’s up high five? they weren’t trying to delete you, they were trying to delete me. you? what’s so important about you that they’d send out an entire team of bots? they say… i’m a malfunction. gasp oh, you bringing malfunctions in here now, high five? for crying out loud, abandoned luggage, that had better not be my leftover chinese food… uh… what chinese food? huh ha! do you have any idea what it’s like to be living large? hashtag blessed? the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? here, will you hit my callouses for me? at least you’re a working emoji, that’s all i ever wanted. well, if that’s all it will take you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. it’s not that complicated. where would i find a hacker? in the piracy app, duh. ugh. and who took my clear nail polish? piracy app? to get there, i mean, i have to leave textopolis. so? i’ve done it. would you be a brother. one of the princess emo gees left the phone altogether, now she lives on the cloud… mmm… ooh, that is good. i’m sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name’s jailbreak. jailbreak? that’s great? reprogrammed. i just need to get reprogrammed, and then i can finally be the meh i was meh to be! help me find that hacker high five, will you? please? maybe this hacker can help you, too? like, rewrite some code? get you into the favorites sections? wait a minute! ow. i’ve been trying to use my charisma and sensitive entitlement to get me back on top when all I need is a hacker! today’s your lucky day! let’s roll! hey, can i come too? talk to the hand, bretheren. i thought i was… bye, felicia. ciao, fishcake with swirls. daddy’s headed back to the VIPs where he belongs! wait, what about the bots? good point, good point. ow, ow ow, ow… hey… i shouldn’t have picked the cactus. i shouldn’t have picked it. you didn’t even try to get the tree, it’s baffling. let’s go. high five? hello? high five! where are you? i’m right here! here we are! end of the text aisle. no way. come on, gene, it’s perfectly safe! ah! gene, help me! high five! oh no, this is all my fault, high five, I… i’m just messing with you! it’s just one of those rubber finger monster puppets from the eighties, i collected the whole set! alright, you coming? uh, what do i do? what do you mean? just take a step through the other side. this, is it. the next time i come back here, i’ll be a real meh. high five? woah! are you finished? where, where are we? welcome… to the wallpaper! wow. this place is incredible! each app is a whole new world. ow, that’s my face, get off my face, thank you. what is this place? WeChat! it’s like a whole other world! oh, it is. what are they? they’re bubble pups, they might be cute, but man, are they clean. bubble pups? they’re stickers, gene, try to get with the program? this is so cool! wait, what’s in that one! everybody’s talking about themselves! how does he know so many people? none of these people know him, but they like him, and that’s what matters in this life, popularity. uh, i, i think i’d rather just have a real friend. a real friend? how’s that going to get you anywhere? what you need are fans! they give you complete and unrelenting support! as long as you’re on top. poor gene, i blame myself. i blame you, too. i just wanted to be supported. you just wanted a vacation. you take that back, mel. bots, they haven’t found gene by now. he must have skipped town. you mean the wallpaper? our boy’s on the run. how about we find him ourselves? yeah, sure. tell those bots to follow those mehs. i’m sure they’ll know about all those freaky deaky apps Gene would hide out in. i’m really good at making plans, you guys, right? here we are, the piracy app! this is where we’ll find jailbreak. um, but this is, the dictionary app. that’s just what alex wants his parents to think. this is called a skin. really? what could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? just try to keep up, this place can get a little rough. ahoy mateys, look who’s back! high five! i’m a bit of a celebrity here, always welcome. ow! loser! come on, follow me. oh, great, emo gees! i thought the conversation just got dumber. ugh, internet trolls, just ignore them. eventually, they’ll get a job, or a girlfriend, or some sort of purpose in life, and then they’ll stop. virus, we’ll just, we’ll just walk over this way… hi! it’s so great to see you again! do i know you? it’s spam! just sign here and i can get you special discounts on vitamins and coupon offers that can save you up to 25 percent! 25 percent? nonono no no, don’t get sucked in! back off, spam! it’s the only way to do it. back off! thank you very much! you can illegally download our CD right here! hey, trojan horse, how are you? yeah, what’ll it be had? i’ll have a bottle of… hack, daniels, hmm? maybe with a plate of… cheese, and hackers, kapeesh? you try to buy a hacker, you can just ask, you know. oh, sorry, um, yes. we’re looking for a hacker named jailbreak. oh, i know a guy who could hook you up. right over there. oh, yes. patable. no, not him. her! wait, he’s a she? hey! jailbreak! mind if we join in? yes. that’s the thing about the internet, is that you never know if someone’s being ironic or sincere. i sincerely, unironically want you to go away. ha ha ha ha, so good… so here’s the thing, my friend gene here has a little problem. well, see, i’m supposed to be a meh, but i don’t really feel… yeah, yeah, and we thought that you could help… the princess, you know, off the phone… woah, hold up, that’s not a meh face. bots, they’re after me! how are you doing that? look, it’s just something that i can do, can you help us? follow me. bots, delete my history! i need to wipe my entire hard drive! i made the most delicious cinnamon buns! maybe if there was something to uh, jog my memory? come on! move! hey trolls, wipe our mailbox wearing a tuxedo! hi, it’s so great to see you again! this tunnel will get us out of here! move! get us out of here! move! did that cloud taste sweet to you? ow. ow. ow. help me. help, i’m stuck! sweet motherboard! where am i? candy crush! get me out of here! hey, cornface! try getting him out the top! already on it! hold tight, gene! woah! woah! this feels very off.. and smells. i mean, it smells delicious, but, i still don’t like it! the game obviously thinks you’re a candy, even though you’re, weirdly misshapen, you know? what do i do? stay very still! don’t worry, we’ve got your back! right, high five? hey, fingers! you wanna focus? for your information, i happen to have a sugar addiction, and it’s a very, serious… hey, finger head, we have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up! i don’t want to blow up! we have to match up the candies so that Gene will drop to the bottom. and we can’t match him with any yellows, or else… oh! don’t do that, please don’t do that. watch. got it? knock 3 in a row, don’t blow gene up, got it. and, we have to be careful. yeah yeah yeah. careful! woo hoo! candy! yo! no no no! don’t do yellow! do NOT do the yellow! i said careful! hey, addie! i… i was just wondering, if, you are… tasty. what? um… delicious. excuse me? sweet. hey addie! uh… hi nikki. see you later, alex sugar crush. ah! i’m so over this. Wireless Repair Service, how may I help you? i’d like to make an appointment. it’s like this phone is playing games with me! woah! hey, what does this do? get me out of here! ooh… suck it in… stop it… stop it… ow ow ow… it’s not working! well, there’s one option left. we line you up with the yellows. but you said not to do that! special candies get transported to that jar. the game might think that you’re a special candy. and… what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? well… ah! jailbreak, hello? hello, jailbreak? uh, sorry. what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? oh, i’m not too worried about it. alright, just do it. gene, gene! you’re alive! you were trying to see if i had somehow turned into candy, weren’t you? yes i was. and you have not! hey, looks like something popped up on alex’s calender. ah, i’m sure it’s nothing. uh, alex made an appointment at the phone store? calm down, everyone, calm down. don’t worry, everything is fine. maybe alex just wants to buy some accessories. uh, his appointment is with techinical support. well, i’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to figure this out. uh, his appointment is for tomorrow. then maybe it’s just for some routine maintenance? uh, actually, it’s to erase the phone. listen, gene, i’m about to become your knight in shining armor. you are? oh yeah. but first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. that’s where we’ll find the source code to reprogram you. the… cloud? isn’t that off the phone? ding dingding ding! you got it! mmhm, yeah, the cloud! off the phone! uh! we’re in candy crush, oz, i know a shortcut to just dance, which is right next to dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. mmhm, of course, just go dive into the dropbox and vroom! hold up, here’s the stinker. before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this… firewall. the firewall uses face identification. it’s really annoying, because i’ve already tried to get through. guessed wrong once, and now i’m locked out for life. locked out for life? you’re thinking, because i can make different faces, the firewall will think i’m different emo gees! yeah, i wanted to say it, because it was my idea. you know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. you know what, well, let’s hit the road. high five, you coming? i’m coming! why do i always think i’m going to come around on black licorice? ah! oh! my precious… move it! sudden death, here we come! let’s try this one… you tube? wow, what an original treat, and i don’t even need a remote. that guy is so expressive. he reminds me of gene. yes, something’s really wrong here. our son is a malfunction, and you should have never let him go into that cube. don’t blame me for that now, i am hopping mad at you. see? mary, i think we’re being followed, but don’t overreact. uh oh. i told you not to overreact. what are you doing now? i could be in there for hours. hey, where are you going. i think we should go our seperate ways, mel. i thought i knew the meh that i married, but maybe i don’t. but, mary? this tunnel will help us avoid the bots. thanks for helping us. it’s really, really nice of you. NPD, dude. you’re helping me! move along, move it, why so slow? high five, stop, why are you getting so close? back off. i can’t stop now, i’m having a sugar rush! i’m going to go around you. if i stop moving, my heart’s going to explode! coming through, jailbreak! watch out! hey! watch it, knuckle butt! i can’t feel my face! ha ha! jailbreak, you said back there that i’m… helping you. i’ve been trying to get past that firewall for months! ha ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, the faster we go, the faster I can become a favorite! ah ha ha ha ha ha! woo hoo! look at me i just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud! hee hee! ow! what just happened! you know, you don’t like it here? there are so many rules here! what is up with that? the cloud’s supposed to be amazing, it’s full of dreams too… oh, sugar crash. i can’t hold on anymore. catch me, gene, catch me! and you can be whoever you want! thanks. we’re free! come on! oh, oh my gosh, my hands are sweating. you know what, come to think of it, i don’t really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. oh, um, you know, you’re taking too much of my brain space, let’s try to keep the chit chat to a minimum. ooh, someone likes you. what are you talking about? this just like when peace sign gave me just one finger, i knew she was in love with me. let’s go! ugh, i’m never eating another piece of candy ever again… high-five, don’t do it! don’t you do it! it’s already been in there once. don’t do it. wow. move it! are my fingers getting fat? i’ll tell you what, this bandage wasn’t so tight before. okay, we get through this app, and dropbox is right on the other side. we just need to keep it super DL in here. and no matter what, we can’t, turn it, on. OMG this turned it on! what? i’m a hand, it’s a big red button! woah. no no no no! what’s happening! welcome to just dance! follow my moves and you get to move forward! do the wrong moves and you get an X! three strikes and you’re out! out? what does she mean by out? digital death. thanks to you, fingers, now we’re going to have to dance our way out. which is alright with me, because I can shake it like michael. or michael’s glove, anyway. Are you ready to daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnccccccee? this is bad, gene, i can’t dance, i got no groove! come on, everybody can dance! not me, okay? i’m really stiff… see? you don’t… understand? okay, no no. stop, stop. you have to stop. i see now what you are saying? just follow her moves. ready to dance in three! this i can’t do! two! dude! just shut up and… dance! i’m just doing it! hee hee! shamon! jailbreak! i got you! look, just do the music, express yourself! dance? yeah, you got it! now throw some sauce on that dance burrito! woo hoo! i’m doing it! i’m finally nailing this dance! you got it! hee hee! oh ho ho! great job! now you’re moving on to free dance! impress us with your moves to move forward! more dancing? you’re killing it, gene! nice! take it gene! you can break it! wait a minute! i’ve never seen that dance before! what’s it called? the emoji… bob? i love it! you do! everybody! do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! ha ha ha! woo! oh! princess! woah! you’re the princess emoji! you never got off the phone! new player! who? oh no! we gotta go! no worry, they’re robots, they can’t dance! downloading thought protocol… can’t dance, he says. heh. hey alex, you gonna dance for us? alex, that’s extra homework for you. yeah, alex’s getting wicked, ha ha ha… alex must be deleting the app! watch out! we gotta get out of here! come on! hoo! this song is my jam! high five! come on! let’s go! hurry! gene! i got you! gene! gene… hey, wait a minute, where’s high five? alex trashed the app.. and high five right along with it. wait, what? wait, trashed? high five is in the trash? he wanted to dance… but, i knew it was a bad idea… i’m so sorry… we gotta get him out of there. gene, dropbox is right here, we have to get to the cloud! and the trash is on the other side of the phone! we don’t know how many other bots are out there! i’m sorry! no, wait! i can’t go without high five. i don’t care how far away it is. gene… that’s my friend down there. i’m not going to just let him get deleted. what, what is it? i’ve always just thought, you’ve got to look out for number one… but what good is it to be number one, if there aren’t any other numbers? wow, okay. i’m sorry, this is, this is my malfunction, i just, i can’t be meh about anything, this is why i’m going to be reprogrammed. well, actually, it’s kinda cool. wait, really? no, i think i know a shortcut. we can take the music streams in spotify. let’s go give that big hand a hand. come on! now it’s trashed the just dance app, and our bots are offline, and it’s giving me a real headache… i am so angry! i really need to stay happy. can we please lighten the mood? no one can resist la fiesta! ole! not that happy. ow! we’ve only got four hours before alex’s phone appointment. if they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all going to be wiped! she said wiped! aim higher, steven. i didn’t want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. the illegal upgrade! now that makes me happy! ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! i just want to dance.. dance… argh! quiet, you saucy gypsy. ugh, where am i? hi! it’s so great to see you again! you’re in the trash, fingers for brains! get away from me, troll! hi! it’s so great to see you again! i’ve got to get out of here. you can’t! and at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we’re all going to die! oh no, no, no! this is the last face you will ever see! this is spotify? yep, every one of those streams is a different song. is it safe? are you sure that this is a good idea? that’s the point of the wave, dude! can we at least pick a… a colorless stream? okay buzzkill… alex, a bunch of people are hitting the promenade, and i think addie might be there, too… that’s perfect! i have an appointment down there, anyway! i’ve got to get this phone fixed! hey, bubble butt! yeah. ah, much better. so, i gotta ask, is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies.. hello, stereotype, that is a complete and total myth! i’m sorry. did you realize that in the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess, or a bride? that’s why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whatever you want to be! get ready! whale song coming! wait, wait, whale what? whale song! from alex’s biology DVD! woah! wow! woah! ha ha ha ha. you’re not going to see that sitting around in a cube. funny, you went out of the cube, and I went in. gene, that means you can’t be yourself. what’s the point? you know, i think you’re pretty cool just the way you are. we’re, we’re going to need this. nobody knows, the touchscreen dramascene. nobody knows my screenshot… trash? me? i used to be somebody. here i am, in an old email Alex never sent. addie, blah blah blah blah blergh… and then there’s me! high five! right there! doing my job! FYI, nobody cares about you. just leave me, troll, and let me die! in this dump alone! let me look for the world’s smallest violin in here, so that you can play it! is that the hand angel of mercy? has she finally come for me? give me your hand! i mean, give me yourself! take my hand, angel! i’m ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. it’s me, gene! gene? the one and only. gene! i got him! take me with you! high five! let go of me! you’d leave me down here? you were wrong, troll, people do care about me! and i’m not upset, troll! do you see how not upset I am? gene! you came back for me! you saved me… it wasn’t just me, jailbreak helped, too. she’s a hugger. give her a squeeze. oh, nonono no. not really, nothing great. i’m not feeling your feelings, relieve me! you filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, and I was once one of you, so I feel your pain. so now, go. be free! smooth sailing from here. huh ha ha! ugh. gene! gene… gene? are you insta gramming? oh, where is my gene… oh, mary, you’ve really done it this time. no, you haven’t. mel? what are you doing in alex’s trip to france album? i was looking for you. none of this is your fault, mary. it’s mine. what do you mean? is that a tear on your cheek? it’s my fault gene is the way he is. i have other expressions, too. i think they’ve just been buried away. but with gene going missing, and thinking i might have lost you, too… oh, mel, why didn’t you tell me? i didn’t know myself. right now, i’m so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red hot flame. oh, i like it. let’s go find our son. together. we’ll always have paris, mary. so you’re a princess. so you have a little tiara, very fancy. is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly that’s what i said! no, guys, that’s a stupid myth! what awkward virgin haven are you living in? go read an e-book! educate yourself! uh, jailbreak? what the? what is that? smiley must have upgraded her bots! let’s get out of here before it… hi, do you remember me, it’s smiler! i’m coming to you live from the amphitheater, why don’t you come back to textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? my friend here will escort you, alright, i’m gonna see you soon, buddy, bye now! we’re actually going to delete them in front of everyone. psst, it’s still on. it’s still on? oh! jiminy, attack the frauds! seperate! take a look! jailbreak! gene! this way! it’s still onto me! over here! let’s go! we have to make it to dropbox! yes! no! go low! woah! don’t worry, it can’t get in. it’s illegal malware, and this app is secure. come on. welcome to dropbox! you are about to leave the phone. remain seated, please! permanecer sentados por favor! might want to hang on! why do they call it dropbox, anyway? oh, this is why! i see why now! i’d better not see that candy corn again! we made it! you guys, chill. we still have to get past… that. oh… shaw. welcome to the firewall, how may I help you? alright, here goes! what should I do? sit in the corner, and don’t say a word. keep those soft fingers to yourself. yes, your majesty, princess of nightmares! now gene, step onto the password icon, and i’ll feed you the passwords. okay. okay. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ow. cough. access denied. okay, try a different expression. is it going to blast me every time i messed up? yeah, kind of. what do you mean kind of? ready? welcome to the firewall. his favorite food. chimichangas! chimichangas? ow. access denied. huh. this might take a while. oh boy. krav maga! krav maga. major lazer! major lazer. what did i do now? ow. skate, or die! access denied. denied. denied. denied. i don’t get it! we’ve tried all of the important things in alex’s life! his favorite pet, his sport, his favorite grandma… i’m sorry, gene. i let us all down. now, if I had to come up with a password, I’d probably use the name of a girl I like. i’ve been all over the phone! he’s never mentioned a girl. yes he has! hi. when I was in the trash, I read a very interesting email, but, i’m just a dunce, in the corner, forbidden to speak… what email? sorry, what? what email? uh, took it out, at school, he was declaring his feelings of love for her, i guess instead of sending it he tossed it in the trash. high five, this is very important. what is her name? her name, yes! excellent question. it… was… tina. karen. marge. lint, lindsay. ack, allison. sarah, or, lupita. i want to say lupita, but that doesn’t feel right, now i’m saying it out loud. ugh.. gotta find that email, i think i can access the trash. i got it! addie! yes! yes, that’s it, addie! i knew i’d get there! dear addie, you and I, we are like diamonds in the sky. you’re a shooting star I see. a vision, ecstacy. shining bright like a diamond. he used a high-five, see? guess now we know why he trashed it. ooh, shade. guys, should we try this? addie! access granted. oh snap. this place, is, amazing. wow, i can’t believe it. woah. one little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. i… i guess we should, make you, a meh before that bot comes back home. oh, oh, so we’re gonna do that now. we had a deal, right? yeah, okay. right. i, uh, guess i’ll start hacking. ha! we did it, gene! all our dreams are coming true! i’ll be alex’s favorite again, and you’ll be a real meh! ha ha, yeah! do the hand dance. do the hand dance. and pinky. pop it with the pinky. pop it with the pinky. yeah, but this all seems kinda super fast now, doesn’t it? i didn’t expect to be having these feelings right now. well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. so, uh, i’ve been thinking, um, ever since we. jailbreak, you’re the coolest, most interesting emoji i’ve ever met. and, after all the adventures that we’ve had, i’m just not sure that i want all of that to go away. because, my feelings, right now, are, like, huge. i just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way that I am. if it means that i could stay here, with you, like, forever. forever and ever. and ever. maybe longer than that, even? like in the fairy tales. uh… wait, wuh, what is that? gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then, i am all about that. i like you just the way you are, but i had a plan. right. i’m not just some princess, gene, waiting for my prince. i mean, uh, what you said was beautiful, but, gene… ha ha ha! you’re all… meh! the source code worked! turns out I didn’t need it. for the first time in life, meh is all I feel. oh! gene! i have an appointment. i’m a little early. no prob. i can take you right now. jailbreak! ah! don’t do that! that freaking huge bot has got gene back inside the phone! what? he left being more meh than the meh-est meh face i’ve seen! what did you say to him? it’s what I didn’t say. we gotta go get him. how are we going to get there in time before he gets deleted? ugh.. i can’t believe i’m doing this. you tell anyone you saw this and I’ll crack more than those knuckles. woah. birds do like princesses! it’s not a myth! it’s not a myth at all! what happened with becoming a favorite? because i’d rather have one real friend. let’s go get him. i can’t wait to see that emoji’s face! look at that expression! is that for realizing that you’ve put all of textopolis at risk? causing Alex to question our reliability? hmm? hey, now that’s going too far, even for me! if we could delete this malfunction, before he gets dissapointed, Alex will realize there’s nothing wrong with the phone. and any last words? meh. well, it’s too late for that. delete him! wait! you delete gene, you’ll have to delete me, too. what? i have the same malfunction gene has. dad? oh gosh, i don’t know what to do! yes i do! BOTS! sorry misses meh. wow. i did not see that one coming. smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. oh really? how about you’re next? i was wrong, gene. i should have believed in you all along. oh, what a touching daddy son reunion moment! it reminds me of the time I deleted you both! oh wait! that’s this time! delete the two malfunctions! How’s that for an entroof gasp oh, great. I can’t reach! oh no! what did you do to my beautiful monst Ow my tooth! hand, button! jailbreak? oh, gene… you really are a meh… what happened to looking out for number one? being number one doesn’t matter if there aren’t any other numbers. alex’s appointment! he’s deleting the phone! nononono no no no no! show me alex. are you sure you want to delete everything? do it! red alert! alex, no! game over. fellas, i’m afraid this is the last call. dude, addie’s here. you should go over. every time I try, i screwed up! i don’t even know how to tell her how I feel! if we help alex connect to addie, maybe he won’t delete us. i might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. but we’ll only have time to send one. maybe I should go! he has love in his eyes. send me! alex looks nervous, too! he’s more shy than nervous! stop! it’s gene. he’s all of those things! emo gees should only be one thing! oh, really? gasp the princess! linda? not now, mom! gene, you got this. that’s not me anymore. but I have to try. it’s starting! no! it’s ending! almost in? working on it! mom? dad? no.. i’m in! last time I was in this cube I screwed everything up. gene, why do you think I came back? it’s because of you. me. it’s all inside of you, gene. just try to bring it back. and do you. high five! i don’t want to wave goodbye! it’s now or never, gene! jailbreak, now! woah! she got this emoji! no way! hey, i got your text! that’s one super cool emoji! i know, right? a lot of feelings in one! i get it! i like that you’re one of those guys who actually expresses feelings! yeah, that’s me! so, do you think you cou yes, i’d love to go to the dance with you. we made it! oh, i could have lost you, peter pinky finger… oh, you wretchy ring finger, even you, tiberius thumb… change your mind? yeah, maybe it’s weird, but i’m going to hold onto it. gene, you did it! you saved us all! oh, mel… gee hee eene! gee hee hee heene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! and us! and high five! and high five! and high five! and high five! hey, what happened, gene? slap me some skin! and a little orange for the pinky! hey high five! save a little hand for later! unless you know the hamburger! back on top of the hand pile! you’re not on the list! wait, what? what’s going on? ha! from now on, everyone is welcome! wait, what is all this? it’s for you, gene! everybody! the emoji bob! this is so jazzy… go eggplant! go eggplant! go eggplant! we are out of Alex’s pocket, emo gees! this is not a butt dial! to your cubes! are we up and running? roger that. good, because we got incoming! looks like it’s gonna be gene. hey gene, ready to try out your new cube? in 3, 2…