professor ok

trying to write hershel layton's biography
  • writer: so the ferris wheel... chased you around?
  • layton: precisely. you see, it was actually operated by remote control by don paolo
  • writer: ...and who is don paolo?
  • layton: he was my classmate in college, but these days he considers himself my nemesis
  • writer: your... nemesis. okay.
  • writer: let's talk about before all that. tell me about your childhood
  • layton: hmm... would you like to hear about my parents' kidnapping by a secret society?
  • layton: or perhaps the ancient robot mummies i defeated in swordplay?
  • writer: i was thinking we would focus more on your interest in archaeology, professor
  • layton: oh, of course
  • layton: did you know i once took part in a tournament to the death aboard a cruise ship disguised as an opera house which would travel to the fabled island of ambrosia?
  • writer: no
  • writer: i did not know that
  • layton: one of my former students performed the lead role in the opera, though she was actually possessed by the spirit of the composer's daughter all along
  • writer: possessed. i see.
  • writer: ...why don't we take a break
  • layton: oh good i'll make tea
Bio professors are weird

So this year I had my first Bio course in college. I had anticipated interesting statements, but I waited to post them until the last day of class, which was today.

Here is the best of out of context quotes from my biology course:

- Next time you get surgery go to a surgeon who will do it outside because hospitals are a DEATHTRAP

- Male ducks just have to look pretty, it’s their job

- Those two groups aren’t going to be swapping gametes, are they?

- Not all insects are bugs!

- I don’t know your name so it’s not going to help your test score

- Jellyfish aren’t good at making fossils.  They die and in 10 seconds they’re like snot.

- All the genes to make a T. Rex are in a turkey.

- You could probably make a Terror Bird out of an ostrich.

- Years in Earth’s history is like dollars to the American government.

- If you were walking around on the surface of the planet back then, you would be dead.

- If you just pretend you’re not breathing oxygen you can pretend you’re on Earth about 3 billion years ago.

- It has -zoic in it because the people making this up just HAPPEN to be zoic.

- By the end of the Cambrian it’s a party!  You’ve got forests, giant centipedes, lizards…

- They’re multicellular but they don’t have any fancy bits

- You’d feel pretty good walking around in the Cambrian.  At least until something comes and tries to eat you.  Probably wouldn’t feel good after that.

- Mammals show up but they’re these pathetic little egg laying things

- Sauropods are walking around, and they keep changing their names, which is frustrating

- YOU SHALL NOT PASS! *strikes the ground with a tree branch*

- Some volcanos are more oozey and some are more explosive.

- It’s hard to fossilize snot

- I’M A LIZARD!  I’m not a lizard, but if I was-

- Am I gonna die in a swamp or a marsh?

- When Motorola first came out with the Razor -  man, that was such a cool flip phone…

- You’ve gone so deep you’re in Hell or something.  I don’t know.

- You’ve done that to poor, defenseless cats before.  Because it’s fun.

- Three years of this slide and I was clueless as to why people were laughing

- … and if you don’t know what I’m talking about good for you.

- Let’s talk about fly sex!

- Now I’m not an expert on fly sex, but–

- I dunno what’s with science books and sexual behavior but they like that!  Now let’s look at rats!

- Next time you have calamari just remember you’re eating seafood with an I.Q.!

- Plants don’t move they prefer to put down roots.  *silence*  I thought that would be funnier.

- Don’t let anyone tell you that you’ll never amount to anything because you’re single handedly increasing the entropy of the universe.

- When I was a grad student I figured out what the metal in a human was worth on the market and it was about $1.87.  Probably around $5 now.

- You don’t want to take a long nap on the wet forest floor you might wake up recycled.

- Something happened, it was explained, I don’t remember.

- If it’s GREEN, YELLOW, or RED, it’s gotten more acidic! *while pointing at a map of the ocean that is entirely green, yellow, and red*

- If I put you on a NASA rocket sled and accellerated you to 300 mph in 3 seconds you’d be DEAD but while you were dying you’d be saying ‘oh but I’ve been faster on an airplane’

- Maybe we should introduce mutagens to increase our rate of evolution.  Like alcohol.  Or at least that will just make you forget.

Ok so I was watching X-Men: First class

I’m Jewish, and my dad- a goy- was watching it with me.

one of the scenes that really got to me was

because you can see the way Erik’s face changes because Charles just doesn’t understand what he was doing when he said that. 

Think back to the bar scene in the beginning. What does the Nazi say to excuse his actions?

So when Erik heard that? It just reminded him of what he knew and has been saying up until that very moment. Nothing’s changed.

I identified so much with Erik’s plight and I felt a physical ache in my chest when he spoke the next lines

Because growing up, all Jewish kids have heard or seen that in remembrance of the Shoah. Never Again.

My father made it clear that he didn’t understand; “So he’s gonna kill them all for following orders?”

“Dad, following orders blindly, without even questioning them set us up in some really dark times.”

“Whatever, the guy’s just blood thirsty and ready to blame anyone.”

And the thing is, Erik isn’t bloodthirsty, and never really has been. He’s logical and see’s the world based on his experiences of human actions. He’s seen the worst of them and refuses to be lulled into the false sense of security that working with the government had given some of them. Or the never-ending optimism Charles seems to have for the human race.

Because the fact is, Charles didn’t go through what Erik did and that’s one of the biggest causes of their thought differentiation. 

It just showed me how much Erik’s backstory impacted me more than it did goyim. Sure we didn’t experience it like our grand and great-grandparents did. We weren’t actually in the Shoah; But it’s left such an intense impression and stain on our history that we are still triggered by it, threatened by it as ‘jokes’ and forced to see it used as a rhetorical device in arguments with no relation to it.

We didn’t experience it but it is part of us in ways others can’t understand. And I think Erik-an actual survivor- really truly realized that when Charles spoke that line.

anonymous asked:

here's a thought: hoseok carrying yoongi to bed after he fell asleep at his desk. just in general hoseok making sure that yoongi doesn't have to sleep anywhere too uncomfortable

am i finally getting to the point where people randomly send me imagines? I’M LIVING

omg hoseok carrying yoongi in general is so great

but hoseok carrying a sleepy yoongi to bed even tho he’s probably been working with him all that time and is tired as well?? but he wants to make sure yoongi is comfortable?? this is so cute and wholesome bless