professor mcg

Innocent... as if.
  • James: Do you trust us?
  • Remus: Depends... Generally, yes. On this... no.
  • James: Let me rephrase that. Are you with us?
  • Remus: Of course I am. This is going to be a riot! And we all know I'm not going to get into trouble because Minnie is going to blame it all on you three.
  • James, Sirius, Peter: ...
  • Remus: What? It's true!
  • In the teachers' restroom:
  • Flitwick: You know what day tomorrow is, Minerva?
  • Minnie: Yes, Filius. I know.
  • Flitwick: How are you going to handle it this year?
  • Minnie: I’m just trying to decide whether I will call off all my lessons and hide in my rooms all day or not.
  • Flitwick: Would be a wise choice.
  • Minnie: I know.
  • -
  • Meanwhile, in one of the Gryffindor dorms:
  • Sirius: [wickedly] You know what day tomorrow is, gentlemen?
  • Remus: [while smirking cruelly] We do. The best day of the year.
  • James: The only day we can do whatever we want without getting punished.
  • Peter: The day the teachers hides in their rooms instead of having lessons.
  • Sirius: The day we can fully use our brilliant, evil and ingenious brains.
  • Marauders: April Fool's Day [dramatic, evil laughter]

Okay so my headcanon about this:

It’s The Marauder’s 6th year at Hogwarts and its the last Quidditch match of the year - Gryffindor v Slytherin. If Gryffindor win, they win the cup. If they lose the cup goes to Hufflepuff. And there’s no way Slytherin are letting The ‘Puffs lose out to a bunch of Gryffindors. So James Potter lines up, determined to be the best Chaser in the history of Chasers. He glanced up to the stands and sees Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily waving and cheering furiously. A few rows up McGonagall is watching tensely.

The game starts, it’s lashing rain and the wind is murderous. Regulus Black is playing Seeker for Slytherin and zooming around the pitch, cause there’s no way in hell Sirius is gonna come home for the Summer gloating about Quidditch again. The game goes on for hours and hours when tragedy strikes - the Gryffindor seeker falls of his broom and is too injured to continue. Slytherin and Hufflepuff are roaring with delight.

The Marauders and Lily are preparing for heartbreak when Remus Lupin has a genius idea. Without a word he drags Lily, Sirius and Peter up to McGonagall, who looks absolutely distraught at Gryffindor’s apparent defeat. Remus then starts talking at 100 miles an hour to her about how it’s against rules to substitute PLAYERS but it never says anything about PROFESSORS. Lily thinks he’s gone mental but “you know Professor, he has a point”. Sirius is jumping with glee and “LISTEN TO MOONY HE’S ALWAYS RIGHT”. Peter could nearly cry with relief when McGonagall rolls her shoulders and nods her head and stalks over to Dumbledore to insist she play because no one comes in between Minerva McGonagall and Gryffindor Quidditch.

Before long McGonagall is mounting her broom to play Chaser for the team and James Potter has been assigned Seeker. After an hour and a half more of McGonagall bossing it and scoring Gryffindor 60 more points - Regulus sees the snitch, James sees Regulus, and a race ensues. The crowd watches with rapt attention as James, who has like 6 inches on the short 4th Year, reaches out and grabs the Snitch, landing on his arse on the ground , but with 150 points to Gryffindor. Sirius and Remus are shouting and hugging with glee, Lily is waving her Gryffindor flag so hard she thinks her arm might fall off and Peter is singing at the top of his voice.

And that’s how Minerva McGonagall became a Gryffindor Quidditch legend once again, years after she graduated, due to the little shit named Remus Lupin, who’s ability to find a loophole anywhere was second to none. James Potter was famously remembered as a Seeker, which annoyed him to no end. “NO NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. IM A CHASER! A CHASER!! PADFOOT TELL THEM. MOONY HELP ME!”.
And then years later in Heaven, as he watches his only child become the youngest Seeker in a century, he is overjoyed.
“Look at that! Harry, my son Harry, youngest Seeker! In a century! He must have inherited his fathers talents! I-“
“Potter you literally played seeker for half a match and then sulked for a month after”
“…shut up, Lils”