professional wingman

Souharuweek Day 7: Olympics

Rating: G

More fluff.  Representing your country in the Olympics is a lot of pressure.

“Haru….?” Sousuke calls, frowning as he steps inside the dark apartment.  He’d texted Haruka twice that he was on his way, and the door had been left unlocked, but there’s no sign of him inside.

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Things I need in season 2
  • episodes where they actually patrol at night jesus christ you’d think they’d have one by now since that’s what the goddamn theme song claims
  • MOAR DJWifi MOAR. 
  • An Adrien/Chat Noir centered ep where he gets to break the akumatized object
  • Adrien meeting Master Fu 
  • Alya getting super close to figuring out who LB & CN are
  • Chat Noir bringing up the “are we ever going to reveal our identities to each other” topic again
  • Ladybug realizing Chat is actually serious about his feelings half of me thinks she thinks he’s just playing 
  • kwami swap
  • new miraculous holders for real this time hawkdaddy
  • love square kiss in any of its combinations preferably sin ships
  • marinette’s birthday
  • ball/gala/prom-like event episode
  • jelly adrien/chat noir
  • KNOWING NINO’S LAST NAME is he an orphan or what
  • akumatized natalie
  • jagged stone, professional wingman 
  • gabriel actually trying to be a father for once

these are very high expectations yes i know let me dream

Lent Sucks.

It’s time to let everyone in on a little secret about my religious preferences…

I hate Catholics.

It seems like every Lent season they go nuts, giving stuff up like them not eating chocolate for fourty days is a “get into heaven free” card. These people have no care for the people they hurt around them, namely me. 

Maybe what I should hate is that dumb movie, 40 Days & 40 Nights which proposed giving up sex for lent. You’d think most men would be smart enough to not try this, but then you’d be wrong.

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And anyone who thinks they can hang out with sexpot Shannon Sossamyn and NOT bang the crap out of her sexy pixie-cut hair face is a liar.

Yet still, inevitably I have little to no work in this trying time. People are too on edge from giving up coffee to want to be out in public, others are trying to be holy and not chase after tail, Pussies stop Yankin’…. it’s like Sexpocalypse. Every Year.

Thankfully like all horrible one night stands, this farce ends soon enough. Now that it’s all said and done I can go back to my real job and tell the asshats at Starbucks to suck it. They may have let me go preemptively, knowing that I was too cool for them, but I still think of it as me quitting. 

Side note: I hope none of you have been visiting the Starbucks in Cherry Hill, NJ for the past 40 days. If so, you might want to get checked. I was very angsty while I worked there.

Wingman Resumes