professional skier

  • scott summers: i think i get it. logan is popular because he's brash and anti-authority and all loner and can afford multiple leather jackets, which is what many people long to be when they're stuck in the monotony of their own life.
  • scott summers: being aggressive, even if you're an asshole or doing it for bad reasons, is rewarded because most people badly want to be aggressive themselves.
  • jean grey: scott, you're not going to try being "cool for the kids", are you?
  • scott summers: why would i want to impress kids?
  • scott summers: this is for me.
  • later that year, at a winter resort
  • scott summers, kicking in a door to a den full of professional skiers: WELCOME TO DICKSUCK VILLAGE
  • scott summers: I'M THE MAYOR
Hetalia Characters' Human AU Jobs (Part 2)
  • Sweden: judge
  • Finland: nurse
  • Denmark: bartender
  • Norway: professional skier
  • Iceland: refrigerator technician
  • Estonia: I.T. guy
  • Lithuania: literature teacher
  • Latvia: office assistant
  • Netherlands: debt collector
  • Belgium: waitress
  • Switzerland: banker
  • S. Korea: auctioneer
  • Taiwan: model
  • Vietnam: construction worker
Simon's Got 99 Problems But Aging Ain't One

1. He’s a Vampire.

2. He can’t practice his religion because he’s damned.

3. He never has time to rehearse with his band.

4. Maureen’s probably still mad at him.

5. He might need to get a new keyboard player if she doesn’t calm down.

6. It will be difficult to hold band auditions as a Vampire.

7. He hasn’t changed his band name in ages.

8. He probably doesn’t even remember what his band is currently called.

9. Raphael is mad at him.

10. And is threatening to burn off his junk…

11. But he seems to really want to be Simon’s band manager.

12. His mom now thinks his band is actually successful.

13. And has formally invited Raphael into their home.

14. He has probably missed all of his financial analysis classes.

15. How will he ever get a college degree?

16. Without a degree, how will he get a job?

17. If he doesn’t get a job then he will get no ladies.

18. His mother has no idea he is a Vampire.

19. It’s hard to hide being a Vampire from your mom.

20. As well as your sister.

21. He’s so fast that he has to slow down for his friends.

22. He can’t eat anymore.

23. That means never having chicken cacciatore ever again.

24. In fact, he can now only drink blood.

25. He doesn’t need glasses anymore, but they were part of his style.

26. He loves movies, but now he can only go to the evening shows.

27. He is completely in love with Clary.

28. But she doesn’t even know it.

29. Clary keeps calling him her best friend.

30. She kisses him on the cheek instead of on the lips.

31. Clary still has feelings for her brother.

32. He has to help save Jace to seem like a nice guy.

33. Even though Jace is kind of his competition.

34. He craves human blood.

35. He doesn’t want to kill any humans.

36. Blood stains are a nightmare to get out of fabric.

37. He can never try Izzy’s delightful cooking ever again.

38. No one appreciates his jokes.

39. One of his best friends is a Werewolf.

40. He lives right next to a Werewolf pack who aren’t big fans of Vampires.

41. He has to sleep in a canoe sometimes.

42. Canoes were not designed for comfort.

43. Meanwhile, the NYC Vamp clan get caskets made of 14 carat gold.

44. The NYC Vampires hate him because he released Camille.

45. And they won’t let him stay at the Hotel DuMort.

46. He was sired by Camille, who isn’t known for her consideration or compassion.

47. She tried to kill him before he turned.

48. Now she has completely abandoned him.

49. He has no Vampires on his side.

50. He’s scared of elevators.

51. He’s scared of clowns.

52. He’s scared of snakes.

53. He’s especially scared of fire-breathing snakes.

54. When he broke into Camille’s house he got attacked by a fire-breathing snake.

55. He BARELY has a grasp of his vamp powers yet.

56. He can only encanto animals so far.

57. Being able to encanto humans would be way more useful.

58. He has to wear a lot more black now to blend into the shadows.

59. Aldertree won’t let him stay in the Institute.

60. Aldertree strong-armed him into finding Camille.

61. Raphael has also been threatening him about that.

62. Camille is really hard to find.

63. His mom might have a drinking problem again.

64. He has to lie to his mom a lot.

65. She can tell that he’s lying, most of the time.

66. He really sucks at portaling.

67. He never gets to see any of his old friends.

68. He gets burned in the daylight.

69. He will never be able to go on a summer vacation.

70. He will never be able to get a tan.

71. He will never become a professional water skier.

72. Or beach volleyball champion.

73. Or surfer.

74. Or… well, you get the idea.

75. All of his vampire mentors have let him down, so he has to rely on Luke and Magnus.

76. He still doesn’t have one of those cool Vampire motorcycles.

77. If he did his mom probably wouldn’t let him ride it.

78. He has to worry about wooden stakes.

79. If he goes to a restaurant he has to have rare steak. Really rare.

80. He owes Raphael a bunch of new jackets.

81. He doesn’t have any way of making money.

82. He never got Camille’s recipe for Blood Marys.

83. He has made out with Camille and Maureen, but not the one girl he really likes.

84. Alec is always mean to him.

85. Jace is always mean to him.

86. Jocelyn told him to go away that one time when she was talking to Clary. Rude.

87. He keeps getting kidnapped and hung upside down.

88. He never got to try the inexpensive cocktails at the Jade Wolf.

89. Alec, Magnus, and Izzy are definitely furious that he spoiled the ending of ‘The Graduate’ for them.

90. Lots of Shadowhunters hate Downworlders.

91. He never really got invited to Alec and Lydia’s wedding.

92. No one invited him to Izzy’s trial.

93. No one invited him to Jace’s trial.

94. He never gets invited anywhere.

95. He looks really pale and ill all the time now.

96. But he can never visit the doctor because they will freak out.

97. He doesn’t have his own blood fridge like Raphael.

98. He doesn’t even know the combination code for Raphael’s fridge.

99. His fangs sometimes pop out and scare people.

Peace out.

Arialene's Fanfic Masterpost

Here you are, all of my works to date! And I will come back through and try to update this whenever I post something new! 

Frostbitten Universe:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9923311/1/Frostbitten

Frostbitten: My first fanfic, and the most ‘famous’ of my works. This work is completed.

What if Jack hasn’t been completely alone in the 300 or so years since the Moon granted him his powers? 11 years after Jack receives his Guardianship, he finds himself telling Jamie about the true tale of the Snow Queen, and of their love story that has been lost to time and much more fantastical legends.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9998427/1/Frostbitten-The-Full-Story

TFS: This is a follow up fic to Frostbitten, not a sequel. Frostbitten is written as a story that Jack is telling to Jamie. TFS is the novelization of that fic, where I’m (slowly) going back and filling in the holes and adding lots of details as well as lots more interactions between all of the characters.

Three years after Elsa’s extraordinary wintry summer, Anna convinces her to take a vacation back to her old haunt, her Ice Palace. While there, she meets a figure from her childhood that she has only ever dreamed of, sending them both on an amazing week of adventures that morphs into a lifetime of love, adventure, laughter and, eventually, heartbreak.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9978808/1/Frostbitten-Vignettes

The Vignettes!: These are all one-shots, each chapter is something new that I’ve thought up that is in the Frostbitten universe but isn’t necessarily in any particular order. Some are funny, some are romantic, some are feelsy. 

This is a follow up series of shorts to Frostbitten of varying character points of view as well as events that Jack didn’t tell Jamie about. Little fun drabbles, serious looks at during their lives together, and sweet glimpses into the lives of Jack, Elsa and their family.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10170374/1/Iced-Renaissance

I.R.: This could probably be considered a Frostbitten sequel. This takes Jamie and Emma and follows their relationship. Emma may be an OC of mine, but she’s awesome, if I do say so myself.

With he and Jack’s eventful trip to Arendelle over, Jamie keeps in touch with the outgoing, headstrong and beautiful Princess Emma as he returns to Pennsylvania. He’s in for a long and wild journey as their relationship grows with haughty relatives, an ocean between them and private security to deal with, it certainly won’t be an ordinary courtship. 

Modern AUs:

 https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10039689/1/Everlasting-Heliotrope 

Heliotrope: This fic starts out as a tragedy and then slowly builds to having a nice happy ending. It has your healthy dose of feels, humor and love. You also get three storylines in one, which if you haven’t read you’ll just have to check out to see what I mean!! This fic is completed.

Jack and Elsa are in a car crash, and Jack is hurt pretty severely, causing him to be sedated while he recovers from his injuries. While Elsa waits at his bedside, remembering and recounting their first meeting and their courtship, Jack dreams of a wild adventure with winter powers, Guardians and talking Snowmen.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10257743/1/Freefalling

Freefalling: Inspired by Slopestyle skier Nick Goepper, Jack is a professional athlete training in Norway when he meets Elsa, a native college student and starts doing his best to try and woo her. This fic takes place mostly in Norway, Bergen to be exact and the Hemsedel Ski Center. 

Jack, a professional skier, finds himself given a couple of days off from his training due to a training exercise and manages to meet Elsa, a college student at a local bookstore. He convinces her to go out with him, not being entirely truthful about his identity in the process, which quickly leads him into hot water. Can he manage to turn things around, or is he out of his element?

One-Shots, Modern AU: 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10201911/1/Say-Something 

Say Something: An alternative ending to Everlasting Heliotrope, or a stand alone one shot, either one works well. This one is short, the actual story is under 1,000 words, but be careful as it will hit you hard in the feels.

Elsa awakes from a bad dream, remembering a terrible car accident she and Jack were both in, and takes a few moments to gain her composure and spend a few heartfelt moments with her beloved husband.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10202264/1/Kiss-and-Tell

Kiss and Tell: Two close friends, living in the same building have a weekly hang out arrangement that gets messed up in this fic, and Jack gets rather jealous in the process. 

A little mis-communication between close friends leads to a little brooding, moping and misunderstanding later on when some Friday night plans get interrupted between Jack and Elsa. However, based on the outcome, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to have afterall…

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10213067/1/Miscued

Miscued: Another bit of a misunderstanding in this fic, that is cause for some awkward hilarity. Throw in some cosmos and some pizza and it’s certainly the stage for amusement.

An Actress and a Make-up artist working together for months on the set, each devoted to their work and talent to make the movie a success, decide to have drinks together one Friday night after a long day on the sound stage and find out a thing or two about each other. Will it be success, or disaster?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10250086/1/Torment

Torment: What happens when Anna convinces Elsa to take a picture to send to Jack while he’s at work?

When two sisters get together, the possibility for devious things always arises. But when Jack is working and Elsa is spending the day at home preparing and packing for a trip abroad, Anna comes up with a particularly tempting idea involved Jack’s favorite sweatshirt and his wife wearing it. Will this work out well for Elsa, or will Jack be mad for taking his lucky sweatshirt?

Collab Fics: 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10269903/1/Breaking-The-Wall

Co-written with Miki Fubuki. A lazy weekend day turns interesting when Jack finds a mysterious file folder full of pictures on his computer, and has Elsa come to look with him. It’s a surprising, shocking and amusing adventure as something happens that causes a breach in the fourth wall.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10241072/1/What-Snow-Does-In-Summer

(Rated M) Written with StarMageAsuka/HenriettaSkylink, ForeverDelighted, Clear Blue, Wickedgreenphantom, Miki Fubuki, Rokusan23

It’s a hot summer day in Arendelle, and everyone in doing their best to beat the heat in the best way they know how. Most of the town has retreated to the Fjord, while our favorite couple, Jack and Elsa, have decided to head to the North Mountain in their attempt to stay cool. Will they succeed, or will things heat up there too? Written by 7 of your fav authors, read more!

Original Stories:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10097793/1/Siren-s-Overture

The story of how a mermaid is made, from a life of hardship and disappointments and then eventually given a rather different happy ending and a place where she belongs.

Abigail Monroe led a hard life, doing her best to please her family as first a jeweler’s daughter, and then wife but when her husband’s sudden death leaves her penniless and with no family to turn to, she decides to take drastic measures to try and change her life. Little does she know that those decisions will lead her to the biggest change of all.

7

Man Floats In Sky Tied To 90 Balloons, Channels Iconic ‘Up’ Scene

It turns out that floating into the sky with the help of balloons isn’t just something that happens in the movies.

Erik Roner, a professional skier and avid BASE jumper, pulled off exactly that last month. 

Watch the full video to see his thrilling descent as he shoots each individual balloon with a gun.

(GIF Source: Rockstar)

So basically, the meds I take to help me sleep at night give me wicked weird dreams and last night I had a dream that Hijikata was a professional skier and Gintoki, who is also on skis, runs into him and they have one of those crashing-into-each-other meetings. But Hijikata gets pissed off and yells and they’re both covered in snow. Gintoki laughs it off and brushes snow off Hijikata and Gintoki is the worst skier in the entire fucking world. So Hijikata has to help him get down the huge hill because it’s the most difficult/dangerous hill of the whole place. So Hijikata helps Gintoki get to the bottom and of course Gintoki is flirting with him the whole time. Once they’re at the bottom, Hijikata flips Gintoki off and skis dramatically away to do more training because apparently he was warming up for a competition or something, I don’t really know what the fuck was going on to be honest.

ANYWAY! It kinda skips or something and goes to Hijikata really struggling on the same hill because again, it’s the most difficult/dangerous and he has Kondo and Sougo with him and they’re all skiing and struggling, then Gintoki fucking comes out of nowhere and he’s going really fast and doing jumps and moves in the air and everyone stops to stare at him because what he was doing was really fucking incredible. Gintoki stops when he sees Hijikata and comes over to say hi and they’re all standing with their jaws dropped and when Gintoki makes it over to them, he’s smiling and says to Hijikata, “Didn’t I mention I’m a snowboarder?” Because he didn’t have skis anymore, he was on a snowboard.

And then I woke up.

I love my dreams.

10

GoPro: Longest Jump Story

“When I woke up the morning of jump day, I called my wife and told her that I had a bad feeling. I’ve traveled the world for motorsports and seen hundreds of crashes - multiple car pile ups at high speeds, race cars rolling end-over-end, sometimes on fire." 

James Kirkam, the 4 Wheel Motor Sports Creative Team Leader for GoPro Original Productions, wrote of the experience on the scene that day. 

Professional skier and rally driver Guerlain Chicherit attempted to beat the world record for longest ramp car jump. The result was not what he had hoped for (min:sec that starts the teaser video), and the video that came from it was not just a crash video. 

"The life of a professional stunt athlete is rarely without consequences,” James explains. “We see them fall, crash, get hurt and, yes, sometimes they die. But what we captured inside of Guerlain’s car was very different than a crash video — it was a deeply ethereal, intimate human experience. We captured ‘that moment’ - A look on a man’s face and a light in his eyes when he realizes, ‘this is it. I am going to die’. Three or four seconds that seem like minutes, without time. Where I expected to see fear, panic, contortion, and pain, Guerlain shows us a deep existential calm." 

It was a record of one man confronting his own mortality, and ultimately experiencing a moment of what we can only describe as grace.

2

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10257743/1/Freefalling 

Jack, a professional skier, finds himself given a couple of days off from his training due to a training exercise and manages to meet Elsa, a college student at a local bookstore. He convinces her to go out with him, not being entirely truthful about his identity in the process, which quickly leads him into hot water. Can he manage to turn things around, or is he out of his element?

 

BIG thank you to strongyu for the wonderful photo edits for this story!

Check out Nick Goepper as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fB9lBAv-qc, the inspiration for this story.

Ski Trip ❄ Benji and Belle.

Benji had walked around the ski resort already, watching the professional skiers practically flying down the hills at such an incredible speed. Benji had always been pretty athletic, but growing up in California had him spending more of his time at the beach, surfing, rather than in the snow skiing. He was quick to learn new things though, so he could only that he wasn’t going to fail at attempting to ski today. It was only added pressure having Belle with him too. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the girl.

After collecting their ski equipment and gear Benji stepped out from the lodge and headed over to one of the beginners courses; only because the professional hills were a lot more rough grounded. He set his snowboard on the ground beside himself as he eyed the course below “Oh god, I can already see me breaking a few bones today..” he laughed, looking over at Belle as he pulled his gloves onto his hands and adjusted the zip on his jumper “You ready to do this, babe?” he raised a brow. { @belle-austen }