professional photo

Aliens are so used to humans wanting to pet the most deadliest creatures they find because PUPPER that they have prepared on every ship with a human crewmate. They have human sitting duties and at least 2 chaperones when going planet-side, just in case they get any ideas.

Then a crew gets a human for the first time and it’s everything like what the Human Care Manual says. The human is loud, but pleasant, always joke around with the crew and was tremendous during that Flokkut Raid on Sector 6. The human even brought a camera with it to take pictures on the ship (it’s bigger than most, downright obnoxious in shape to some of the crew, but the human is happy with it, and a happy human is a bonded human)

So then they go down to a planet, letting the human explore with his chaperones. After walking for a while the group stumbles on a herd of Dwetts, elks with fish eyes and flippers. The aliens sigh cause it was bound to see creatures sooner or later, and turn to give Acceptable Reason #6 from the manual, when the human disappeared! They freak out because how did the human leave??? Does it have invisibility??? That wasn’t part of the manual!! But they hear their human saying “guys, stop moving! You’re going to upset them!”

They look down to see the human lying on his stomach looking through his camera, taking pictures. They were shocked, but did as they were told and sat down. For hours they watched the human taking photos, being as quiet as still as possible. This couldn’t be the same human??

When the human was done, it got up, stretched, and headed back for the ship. The chaperones followed suit. When they got back the captain was surprised that they returned without a creature (even with 2 chaperones, he suspected that the human would win anyway) but was astonished to hear what had happened.

“You didn’t want to take one as these ‘pets’ for the ship??”

“No???? Why would I? They aren’t domesticated, they need space to live which the ship wouldn’t supply.”

“But aren’t they cute in human terms?”

“I mean, I would say more interesting than cute. But seriously, how would we take care of it? How to feed it, groom it, keep away from all the sensitive equipment? It would be dangerous for us and it if we take one from the wild. You really want one that badly?”

“Wha- No! It’s just…you seemed to like them?”

“I mean yeah, it’s a new animal species, and I did take pictures, but not as long as I hoped for. Honestly you have to look at the ecosystem here before getting any animals on board.”

The captain immediately notified the Human Care Committee that their section on animal bonding does not apply to human subclass professional wildlife photographer

2

I want to inspire people to believe that there is no limit. There is no stopping, especially for an artist. There is no limit to artistry. No matter what you do, you do it your way, and you continue to do it however you want to do it. I want to be in these films that inspire people, where people can relate to my characters and fall in love with my characters, but at the same time I want to put out music and show people that you can tell stories through this art form. I want to pose for pictures. There’s no limits to anyone, that’s the biggest message I want to get out to people. I grew up believing that there were limits, but there really aren’t. The more these lessons are coming to me, the more I believe that there is no stopping point. And I don’t plan on stopping.

4

Tom was gorgeous and eloquent and wearing purple socks and best of all, he was RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME.

Other things:

He had a little tuft of hair sticking up, which makes me just itch to be able to smooth it.

The amounts of face-touching, jaw-stroking and hands - just hands - was egregious.

There was a lovely young gentleman beside us who was filming it for Radio Times, so I’m guessing we’ll get a video at some point?

No new news about S2. :(

Alistair Petrie made Tom laugh a lot, for which I am supremely grateful to him.

On Tom Hollander’s improvised molestation of him: “He didn’t even ask permission. I’m scarred for life.”

How good is this suit?! 

Purple socks.


**please forgive the absolute shit quality of these iphone photos, I didn’t bring my real camera and these are for posterity only!

5

So today when I took a walk I collected lots of tiny flowers and plants. When I got home I made tiny flower crowns with them. 

I suppose they’d be too big for like a five inch tiny but they work for bigger tinies. (they’re between 22 and 25 mm in diamenter) Here is one compared to my hand: