product pick me up

Giveaway is happening!! Maybe for Valentines day ❤️ I am slowly picking up products. I haven’t decided on how many winners there will be. It depends on the products I pick up. Follow my Instagram for updates!! You can find me at DISCO_DUST

anonymous asked:

hi, i come to you because i am currently writing a paper for college and seem to have the worst luck ever, my computer already broke down two times and my determination is going down by the minute. do you know any spells to help my situation?

Creativity, Energy and Motivation

Concentration, Clarity and Study

Anti-Anxiety and Stress Relief

Courage and Confidence

@natural-magics is my favorite place for spells which is why she is linked in my faq. I do hope this helps you out, sweetheart.

@akireyta @madilayn @duchessnibenhu-ofpyromania

whoa whoa whoa super rare picture of nav in the wild! today i got to do a workshop at the canberra glassworks and make a paperweight. i get to pick it up on wednesday, when there will be more pictures, in the vein of “here is a thing that i made, isn’t it cool”

the glassworks also run whole-weekend workshops on intro to glassblowing sometimes, and i will probably do one of them later in the year. bc yeah, have been high key fascinated by glassblowing since i was about five or so.

Icebound Land: Not such an innocent story

When I first read the Icebound Land, I was about 11 or 12. This meant that I was rather naïve and didn’t pick up on a lot of the subtleties that can be found in the RA series. Throughout the years, I have found more and more of them. Except for perhaps the most obvious one in the Icebound Land. So, if you’re like me and don’t really pick up on these sort of things, then I’m sorry to pop your bubble like this.

There are prostitutes in Ranger’s Apprentice.

Now, like I said before, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was the only one who didn’t pick up on this. But when Halt and Horace first arrive in Gallica at La Rivage, Horace notices three young women laughing at him, all wearing rather short skirts. They are not, as Halt had explained, Couriers, but prostitutes. In Medieval Europe, prostitution was a very profitable business. While the Catholic Church actively condemned all sexual activity outside of marriage, they tolerated it based on the idea that it stops other, eviler sins from occurring, such as sodomy and masturbation. Prostitutes and brothels were commonly found near ports, as there was a larger population of people ‘seeking relief’ from their time on the sea. While Flanagan’s description of the prostitutes wearing short skirts is historically inaccurate, it is a modern image connected to a promiscuous woman.

But that’s not all. After I had discovered this information, I remembered about the plants that Horace notices on their way out of the village. Originally, I had thought they were corn. Horace describes them as such: “large, broad leaves on stalks that stood as high as a man’s head were left to dry and seemingly to wither on the stalk before they were gathered”. When a specific type of corn called dent corn is harvested, they leave it to dry on the stalks. This ensures that the corn is fully matured before turning it into cattle food (or fuel and plastics in this modern age). Sweet corn (what is usually sold and eaten by humans) is picked a full month before dent corn when the corn is in early maturation. It is entirely possible that this is what Horace sees. Except for one thing: corn is native to the Americas. It wasn’t introduced to Europe until Columbus in the late 1400s. So what else could it be?

Marijuana.

Marijuana has been propagated throughout the world since the 3rd millennium BC(E). We know this as cannabis seeds have been found in a ritual brazier at an ancient Romanian site that dates back to this time. During this period, marijuana was used in medicine and religion. Marijuana plants have broad leaves and their stalks can grow up to 6 feet, especially when grown outside. When harvested, marijuana plants grow white hairs, giving an image of withered-ness, and their leaves can either be collected and hung to dry (as described in the book) or left on the stalk to dry naturally, which is known to create a far more potent product.

So if you were like me and had never picked up on this, then I’m sorry to ruin your childhood. If not, then I probably seem like a very naïve person (which I am). Join in on the conversation by either sending us an ask, or by reblogging this analysis and tagging it with your thoughts. Do you have questions or thoughts on future analyses? Please send us an ask or submit it to us.

If you are interested in becoming a RA Analysis writer or in doing a one off, let us know! We’d love to have you :)

May your coffee be hot and your arrows sharp!

Secret Love - Chapter One

She was an outcome of a night filled with pressure. 

You had only been together for two months, Mike constantly pushing himself on you, not showing any limits of boundaries. He was desperate to have you in an intimate way, but you weren’t ready.

He’d come home from work, hopping over to your flat for a visit, and each time, would try and push himself on you, until one night you gave in.

You remember the day like it was just yesterday…

Keep reading

closed with eclairegrey

It had been a long enough drive out to Arizona to drop some of her sister’s things off; from clothes to trinkets left in Claire’s house, there was quite a few objects to look through. Their grandparents house that Tasha lived at was growing less homely and more cramped with cramps, knick knacks, and other various objects always laying about. To help try and empty the house a bit, the mintette climbed up into the attic to clear room for the things they wanted to save.

“Gosh…” She coughed and tugged her scarf up over her button nose, hoping to avoid a triggering asthma attack from the dust off of old chests and dressers. Nothing too impressive she hadn’t seen before, aside from…a random backpack tucked behind a large chair? “What’s this doing back here? Tash, is this yours?”

The backpack had clearly seen better days, with patches and heavy re - stitch work scattered over its cloth skin. It almost looked like one of that fake vintage hipster fashion, with its gross olive green complexion and rusty-lookin’ orange patches.

It was a creepy little fucker, very Tim Burton-esque, for it looked as though one of Snow White’s little rabbits had a run in with the undertaker. Yeah, that’s right, it was a deformed little rabbit backpack, where one would unzip it’s stomach to store their own contents. It was empty, mostly.. empty. And it had been that way for years and years and years. So much so that the rabbit had lost track of how many days it had spent in confinement.

Er right, the rabbit had a memory, and feelings, and apparently a rather shrill cry that it let out once the green - haired chick had picked him up. He screeched until she dropped him on the floor, where he landed with an “Oof.”

“You!” He yelled, swinging a paw at her, “What are you?!” He hadn’t felt such strong energy levels since..since.. well he had a face and a name, but not a year; it had been too long since then.

On a typical day he laid down and accepted his eternal fate, but this, this was interesting. He didn’t encounter a human like this every day. While they normally were beneath conversation to him, this was something he just had to explore.

The girl stared at him, eyes wide and hands frozen into the position of where she let him go. No, no, there was no time for this nonsense.

“Cat got your tongue eh?” He asked, sitting up fully. “Normal human after all perhaps? What are you doing here?”

It wasn’t much to admire, that was for sure. On one hand, it met a hipster aesthetic side of her that she loved. This backpack would be cute in her studio, but wouldn’t actually have much use other than for decoration. But it would seem that all it did here as well. That is,

Until it talked.

Dropping the backpack as quickly as she picked it up, the freckled girl backpedaled away before tripping over herself and falling to the dusty floor in a loud heap. It was…being sarcastic with her? Did she inhale too much cleaner?

“I…t-this is my grandparents…uh…home..” Claire rubbed the back of her head in confusion, staring at the object with intense honey eyes. “What..are you doing here?”
The rabbit slowly shook its head and stood up- yes- Stood. Up. And then proceeded to dust itself off with a frown, quickly seeing it was counter productive.

“I’ve been here since a little brown mouse picked me up at a shop awhile pack. Can’t say how long it was, I don’t have much of a sense of time these days,” he shrugged his little shoulders and sat back down and the pile of boxes he’d be dropped on.

“Small lil’ mousey girl ya know, thin and whatnot, ya know her? She put me here in this box Im standing on right after buying me and forgot about me. I’ve been listening to rattling cars, jazz music and old people coughing ever since.”

It, he, he jostled his head back and forth a little, shaking the dust from his ears before he continued speaking. “Ya know I asked you first to be fair, why are YOU here invading my box, my sanctuary?”
How was this thing alive and moving? Or, well… Moving, at least. It looked like he was in pretty rough shape. So Tasha bought this thing?

“My sister? Short red hair? Why did she just leave you cramped up here if you can talk and move and everything?” She was dumbfounded, but incredibly curious. Crawling closer, Claire lifted one of his tiny arms before grinning.

“I was just going through their things, trying to clean out some room and everything… But..Well, I mean I didn’t expect to find a tiny talking backpack up here!” A honey sweet laugh echoed through the attic while she combed through green locks.
“I don’t talk to just ANYONE you know,” he said smugly, as if it should be obvious. He pulled his arm away from her grasp. “You can probably tell from looking at me what I tend to go through when I communicate with humans.”

He moved away from his cardboard perch and closer to her form, half circling her with tiny steps.

“I thought you were a witch for a moment, but I see now that’s not the case based on your reaction. You just have the potential of one is all.”

He shook his head in disappointment and tsked, “My mistake really, you can just go on your merry way and-”

“Claire? Where you calling for me?” A voice asked from below the attic. The rabbit immediately retracted its steps from her and fell onto the floor, playing dead in a sort of way.

She knew she probably shouldn’t admit to it out loud, but the tiny bunny creature was adorable. If it were up to her, she’d just scoop him up and play with his cutr little ears. But it seemed he wasn’t so kind and cuddly.

“A witch? Oh, because of my funky hair, right?” Claire smiled and twirled a curl around her finger before smiling briefly. What was this thing talking about? Maybe it was just messing around with her. The potential to be a witch? What did that mean?

When she heard Tasha coming up the attic ladder however, the mintette spun around and shielded the form with her body. If he didn’t speak to Tasha for a reason, then she probably shouldn’t know about what just happened…“Oh! Hey, yeah I just, I wanted to know if you took out those boxes to my car yet. I’m almost done rearranging up here so we can clean up a bit.”
“Oh,” she paused, “Yeah.. I’m good to go whenever you are. Everything is all packed back up outside.”

The bunny continued to lay motionless on the floor, well practiced in hiding his unusual “qualities” from human beings. He wasn’t mindless though, and as he continued to ease drop on their conversation, his own thoughts starting to circulate.

“She’s unaware of her potential.. I wonder if I could find that useful,” he thought to himself, “Maybe she’ll take me with her, or else I can somehow stow away-”

He was interrupted as Claire nudged his body with the back of her heel back towards the mountain of boxes. The mousey one retreated back downstairs, and he eagerly waited for a response.

“Awesome. I’ll see you in a minute, squirt.” Claire leaned over and ruffled up Tasha’s short hair before turning around to finish arranging things for the most room in the storage area. This…thing was a backpack after all. It wouldn’t be so weird if she just slung it over her shoulder to bring him home right? After all, he had talked! Something that amazing couldn’t be left up here to rot away forever!

The woman didn’t waste time scooping him up and adjusting the straps on her freckled shoulders before glancing over to whisper. “I’m sure you know, but I wouldn’t go talking down there. I’m gonna get you out of this dusty attic at least.” Claire stated before clearing her throat and lifting one of the chests that had to be sold.

It didn’t take long to pack up her silver car. Everything fit fairly well in the trunk, with the exception of a few items in the back and front seats. Saying her goodbyes to her family, Claire grinned and hugged her sister before setting the bunny on her passenger side. Should..he be buckled? Nah, he is a backpack after all. This is fine.
The bunny remained a statue until the green haired girl pulled onto the main highway, ignoring her small glances towards him for a solid half hour.

“So.. I thought about just being silent and making you think you were crazy for awhile, but I’m too concerned for my own whereabouts to do that,” he said matter-of- factly.

He slowly turned his head to her. “Basically I just wanna know where we’re going and what your plans are for me in case I need to start thinking fast.” I mean, this definitely wouldn’t be the first time and a backpack couldn’t be too careful.

The entire time of the car ride consisted of her watching the backpack and the road frantically. If he was trying to trick her or mess with her, it was working. But as soon as he spoke up again, the mintette let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Oh thank goodness! I mean, I know you were talking, but I was worried I broke you or something! Are you ok? You don’t want to go back, do you?” It dawned on her that she never even asked the backpack if he wanted freedom; especially by the way he was talking now. But she couldn’t help but give a small laugh once again.

“Who just..takes backpacks? I mean, you’re a cute little bunny sack. Noones going to hurt you. I mean, my puppy might sniff you and check you out, but I was just going to go to my apartment until I figured out what to do.”

“Oh no, it’s no problem, ” he said with a wave of his- er, paw. “Until you pass me on to someone else, you are now my owner. That’s all. I don’t suppose you’re familiar with the typical bonding contract speech, especially if you’re just a normal human?”

Claire just blinked a few times. “Of course I’m just a normal human, is it seriously because of my hair that you think I’m a witch? No, I don’t..I’m not familiar with your binding thing or whatever…” She drummed her fingers along the wheel, biting at her bottom lip. Was this for real?

The knapsack barked a laugh at her. “Ahah, no, your hair is nothing out of the ordinary for me I assure you. If you don’t know what I experienced then there is no reason to explain it to you..” He stretched out his little limbs.

“However, I will explain my contract to you, as I am required to through it.” He stood up and began examining her vehicle, unaccustomed to this newer model. “As long as you keep me, I am yours to do as you please with. I can complete any task or attempt to complete any task for you.” The rabbit fiddled with the air conditioning, ooing with interest.

“You can also release and stuff me back into this form whenever you choose - what you didn’t think I was actually a ruck sack did you?” He asked, catching her bewildered expression. “I have a form that will look like yours in this world so- er I suppose that doesn’t make sense to you either does it.. been a while since I’ve done this.”

Although they made it back to Claire’s house safely, she couldn’t help but tap the breaks a tad too hard when he mentioned having a form like hers. Did he mean he could look human? Oh shit. The backpack bumped the dash a little too hard, and once in park Claire scooped him up apologizing rapidly.

“So…okay, uh..Im..I’m trying my best here. So…you’re just-just trapped? As a backpack?” She asked, slinging him over her shoulder again as she started to empty her car and carry things inside. A bouncing black little lab stumbled about and barked up at the two of them upon arrival.

The backpack remained quiet until it was certain that there was no one else around. “I will tell you what I mean in a safer location, though I’m sure you are a person who talks to themselves, too much of that will be a cause for concern.”

He remained limp on her person until she had carried the last of her stuff into the apartment. Immediately he jumped to the floor and began wandering around his new surroundings, certain of his safety.

“I’ve been stuck like this for roughly 460 human years,” he called out to her as he crawled around her kitchen, “I pissed off a witch that summoned me and she trapt me in this. I was passed on through her family until they died out, and I’ve been kind of all over the place ever since. Pawn shops, antique stores, yard sales, ya know.”

Jasper was more than excited to sniff at and smell the new toy before barking excitedly and running all around the wooden flooring. Claire on the other hand just sat on a chair and listened, nodding now and then to show she was still interested.

“So..what, you’re stuck like this forever? I thought you said you could change to help me out.”

“Well yeah, but only if you tell me to,” he said, tilting his head. The gesture vaguely looked like an eye roll, but with sewn button eyes it was hard to tell.

“You have to be kinda specific if you want me to do what you want in a certain way, and believe me I wouldn’t tell you that part of it wasn’t required of my curse.” The rabbit crawled across the kitchen counters eyeing the dog warily, er, what seemed like it at least with the lack of facial expression.

“I’m also required to tell you that my curse wears off of me, at least appearance-wise, once a month, but I am not required to say when.” He wheezed out a chuckle and made his way towards the toaster. “And as for that forever thing, I’m not required to tell you all the details of my cursing, so I’m choosing to keep that to myself.”

Claire chewed her lip for a moment, wondering just how specific she’d have to be in her demands. Despite having something or…well, someone, she figured, around her house, she wasn’t about to order someone around unnecesarily.

How long had it been since this creature had seen kitchen objects, if ever? He seemed pretty wary of her puppy too. And if she wasn’t just misinterpreting him the wrong way, it seemed like this tiny little backpack was just a salty little man.

“Well I could choose to stuff you in a closet now that you belong to me, but I’m not mean to put you back in something like that. You help me out when I need it, and I’ll do what I can to help you too. We can work together, or you can stay a tiny little accessory for as long as I want. I just…I mean, what do I call you? Do you have a name? Or should I call you Bunny Sack? Sacky? Sack Attack. I like that one.”

“Okay first of all fuck you and fuck that sack nonsense,” he deadpanned, “The name you will have to use for me to do your bidding is Agares. I’ve been called a lot of shit but that’s the one that you have to use if you want me to listen to you.”

He finally hoped down from the counter space to engage with the four - legged fur ball, deciding that it was safe.

“Second, if you think that I haven’t spent what to you would feel like is an eternity in a dark and cramped space, I have news for you,” he stated, “There is a lot worse you would have to do to me than that, and since you own me now there really isn’t much of a need for threats. I am however, supposed to advise you that I am dangerous, and that you need to be very clear in what you expect from me, for I will always try to find a loophole.” He grumbled at the end of that, something about ruining all of the fun.

He huffed as he shuffled over to her now, circling her. “Think of me as a genie of sorts, I can’t exactly grant wishes, but I am capable of more than any human is. And like a genie, you need to be very specific in your wishes.”

Claire scoffed lightly before gripping her kitchen counter with her fingernails. This little shit was interesting, but if he was going to disrespect her, there would have to be something done about it. She wasn’t usually one to order people about, but…if that’s why he was made, right?

“Agares?” She parroted his name, letting it be burned into her memory. It seemed getting him to actually cooperate with her would be an adventure all on its own, but she was ready. Maybe it would be best to start off with little tasks, just to see if he would listen to her in a semi-respectable way. Glancing around her apartment for something for him to to, Claire folded her arms under her breasts.

“I want you to fill Jasper’s bowl with water, please.”


The backpack turned towards the dog and then slowly around the room until he saw the object that she was referring too. He quietly tapped over to the dish and picked it up with his little arms, carrying it towards the sink. He then tossed the bowl up into the sink with a loud and echoing clang.

“Now,” he said with a grunt as he dragged himself back onto the counter, “Depending on how nice I’m feeling will depend on how I handle your request typically, that I don’t have to tell you, I just am because I’m feeling rather nice. And as such, I feel that I should inform you that I-” he cut himself off as he reached to sink, turning the bowl the right direction to fill it.

“Unless you allow me out of this form I will be unable to get this down without spilling it. Small arms ya see. And I really must recommend that you remember that I didn’t need to tell you that for future tasks.”

The whole ordeal of watching him struggle and shuffle about was…well, comical to say the least. To have him complete tasks in such a tiny form made her feel a little better about him being such a grump. But Agares was right: he didn’t have to tell her such information about releasing him from this form, and she was lucky to not have a shit ton of water on her floor.

“Yeah, I guess I have a lot to keep in mind. So..how does this work? I just..you’re free to be out of that form?” The mintette waved her hand in a small circle as if it would help, watching his nubby arms handle the dog bowl.

A loud popping sound exploded in the room and Claire looked on in horror as the knapsack suddenly imploded and twisted in on itself- er, himself, leaving nothing but a small black hole floating above her kitchen countertop.

The room felt colder, and she quickly realized that it was sacking the air right out of the room, as objects nearby it started to shudder and slide towards its small opening. No sooner had she noticed the movement that it stilled, and a hand was bursting through the small orb of darkness.

Slowly but surely another hand appeared, stretching the hole further while the figure pulled its form out of the abyss. A crop of mossy green hair appeared, followed by the head and full torso of a pale, unaturally toned, and scarred man. He shrugged briefly to pull himself out of the aybss, the center of it drifting back up one nude leg after he released his first one, before it centered over where his navel would be and glazed over like some sort of gem.
Through the entirety of the transition he had been hovering above her kitchen counter, and once the orb solidified the force keeping him up disappeared, and he plopped down with a thud, bare ass in the kitchen sink.
“Oof, Not used to that anymore,” he said with a thicker accent than before. Was it British? No, his words were too Americanized. He pushed himself out of the sink and refilled the water dish, his antics causing it to spill anyway. He calmly placed the dish on the floor and clicked his fingers for Jasper to come over to drink, smirking with satisfaction as he did just that.
Agares stood up straight and crossed his arm over his bare chest, the orb glinting from the light on kitchen ceiling. His amber eyes seem to cast the same amount of light as he grinned at Claire ’s gaping expression.

“Anything else while I’m at it?”

The sight before her was something straight out of a science fiction film. Before her very eyes was a force of space sucking her possessions towards it, and even her green hair lifted up and pulled towards the black hole. But it was done just like that too, and just like that as well, a naked man in her kitchen.

…a naked man. In her kitchen. Flushing bright pink, the freckled girl squeaked before raising her fingertips to gaping lips. It wasn’t the fact he was nude; she was a photographer after all. But the fact a body had materialized from a backpack…

“Wow! You..wow…just…” Claire didn’t get much further than that. She was admiring Agares with a curious glint in her eyes as she rounded him, still doing her best to avoid making the situation more awkward. “So this is the real you, huh? Tell me what you can do like this.”

He smiled mischievously, “There’s a lot that I can do like this, the longer I’m left alone in this form.”

He raised a clawed finger to her throat, “I could get rid of you, but that puts me right back where I started and I’d rather stick it out and see what you’re capable of.”

He turned his attention on Jasper and snapped his fingers, when nothing happened other than the dog cocking its head in confusion, the man grumbled and snapped again, this time causing the mut to slowly float off of the ground. Agares slowly moved the animal through the kitchen and gently placed the now whimpering creature on the sofa. “Ahahah,” he chuckled, “That’s also something that I can do!”

He raised his eyebrows and pinched two fingers together before gently pressing them into the gem at his navel, it gave away easily, almost like a pocket, and he pulled out a pair of black pants. “And this I suppose.”

Despite the obvious danger she was risking herself in, (and with a claw at her throat, no less) she had to break into a smile when he decided to let her be. Maybe they would be useful to one another? Who knew.
But one thing for sure; her dog shouldn’t be hovering. Scurrying past the nude man, Claire scooped her pup up before turning to see a pair of black pants conveniently covering his lower waist.

“You just..can pull stuff out of there? Well…I mean that’s pretty useful I guess. You uhm, you should get dressed. I mean, get dressed. Now. Please. Uh..” A bead of sweat trickled down her temple.

The man laughed loudly, throwing his head back while his stomach heaved. “As you wish,” he said, bending over to slide the pants on, one leg at a time. “That’s kind of why I pulled them out in the first place, I am familiar human customs, and I know platonic nudity isn’t typically one of them in this country.”

He snapped the elastic fabric on his hips, with it clinging to his prominent v-line. “To answer your earlier question,” he began “I AM mostly just a knapsack now, an enchanted one at that, and it would be rather useless for my owner to not have access to my contents in this form right?”

He frowned as he reached inside of the orb once more. “It seems that I do not have other clothing in me anymore, so I have to ask you how you’d like me to address that issue?”

With a huff, Claire brushed a strand of hair behind her ear before sparing a glance at him. For a…backpack man…he looked better than most guys she had seen in her life. But he only came with a single pair of pants?

“Oh..yeah, uh, here! Come with me. I have some of Alex’s clothes here. They’ll probably fit you..” She mumbled more to herself than Agares; turning once to make sure he had actually obeyed her. It seemed if she just put meaning behind what she asked, he would do it.

Grabbing a white T-shirt and a tan blazer, she handed them to him before looking for whatever else he may need. Shoes? Boxers? Hopefully her boyfriend wouldn’t be…too angry.

“Mm,” he hummed, sliding the t-shirt over his dorito - shaped torso. It was a little tight in the biceps and rose a little bit on his stomach revealing the blackish - green coarse hairs of his treasure trail.

“I am perfectly capable of stealing you know, if you would find that to be an easier alternative. This Alex, will probably notice that these are missing,” he offered with a raise of his brows. He could sense the girl’s apprehension as she dug about her home and figured he might as well try to make things a little more efficient.

Despite the shirt not quite fitting him right, it would have to be good enough for now. Besides, he pulled it off well. And with the jacket over it, it was fine.

Raising her hands up and waiving them hectically. “No! No, you are not to steal anything. You hear me? No stealing.” Her honey eyes wavered as she held a glance with him before tucking the other clothes away.

“Well…I could use help cleaning my house. I have a lot of stuff to do, and with a second pair of hands, it would go faster. Literally you can do anything around the house to clean up, okay?” Pulling her locks into a messy bun, Claire sashayed into the kitchen before scrubbing the countertops.

The man sighed dramatically and shook his hair out of his eyes. Boring tasks, as per usual. He sniffed out cleaning supplies and set to work, though, not in the most useful sense.

She had said that he could do anything, as long as it was cleaning. After testing his footing against the wall of the hallway for a few moments, he felt enough of his powers within himself to make his move.

With a drenched mop, he casually walked up the wall towards the ceiling, mopping the walls as he went, over photographs, posters, etc. His hair stood on end as his reached his destination, and his shirt only rode up more as he worked while periodically walling back down to rewet his mop. The demon sniggered to himself and daintily spun on his toes as he scrubbed the light fixtures.


Even though Claire was cleaning and working in her kitchen and dining room, she could hear shuffling around somewhere in her apartment. ‘As long as he’s helping, I suppose.’ But as the mintette walked into the next room and slipped onto her plump bottom, she ended up in a puddle staring up at the ceiling in confusion.

“What…Agares! What do you think you’re doing!?” She squeaked, shivering as water dripped down onto her features. Was this one of his loopholes…? To be fair, she wasn’t exactly specific…

Groaning and climbing to her feet, she peeled off her wet shirt before folding her arms. “Get off the ceiling and dry everything you just got wet.” Her honey eyes narrowed.

“But if I come down from the ceiling, I won’t be able to properly dry it you know,” he reasoned, chuckling dryly.

He hopped off of the ceiling down next to her, his feet along with the mop combining to create a large splatter over her. The demon poked his tongue out of his mouth, grinning, and he extended a clawed hands towards her as a gesture to help her up.

With her green locks now clinging to her face in dark curtains, Claire couldnt help but laugh a little bit. She wasn’t one to stay sour or angry, no matter any situation. So after taking his hand, she squeezed out her hair before smiling.

“Well, I guess I can help you dry everything off. Otherwise…” Her voice trailed off when she noticed a damp photograph of three young children. Quickly slipping it out of the frame to save it, she exhaled loudly before walking into her bedroom to tuck it away.

Paying the girl no mind, the demon produced a large cloth out of his belly button portal of doom and began soaking up the puddles on the floor with it. He pulled out three more similar cloths, somewhat like a clown would pull handkerchiefs out of his sleeve to continue collecting water as it dripped off of the ceiling.

After collecting herself, Claire came back out wearing a comfy pair of grey sweatpants and a black T-shirt, her wet hair up in a bun. She helped dry Jasper off with a towel, making his fur floof up before he ran around barking. “Well…now that even my ceiling is clean, I don’t know what to ask you to do..”

“If you wait long enough with me like this, I can just *make* your home clean for you,” he said with a shrug, “I’m no genie that you humans are fond of, but I am able to make some things take care of themselves. Magic and all that.”

He sat down on the floor and stretched his legs out, humming to himself. Despite it all, he found himself enjoying the ache of a stretch after being used to feeling so little sensation-wise. Being cramped in small places wasn’t really an issue for him, as he didn’t need to move around in the rabbit form to keep his body healthy. The demon hiked up his pants legs and began scratching at the multiple scars circling his limbs, finding it oddly satisfying. It felt good to be reminded that he was in fact a real being.

“What do you mean, make my home clean for me? You mean like beauty and the beast stuff? Or fantasia? Becuase I certainly don’t need living objects, and a-a..a flood would..” Claire hugged her freckled arms and stared off at the wall with a hollow expression before clearing her throat.

“I can clean my house by myself. It’s fine. Just…stay out of trouble and don’t break anything. Don’t touch any photo equipment. That’s an order.” She frowned slightly down at Agares before going to the door and slipped on a pair of boots. “I have to go get Alex from work, so…just..just behave.” With that, she closed the door and started up her bike outside before speeding off.

The demon huffed and crossed his own arms at her as she spoke. He rolled his eyes once she changed her gaze and began to ruffle through his hair to entertain himself. He decided she was being a bit too dramatic, but chose not to say anything to avoid further squabbling as she readied herself for her journey.

After a rather harsh shutting of the door, he jumped to his feet and began sniffing and stroking random objects throughout the apartment like a bloodhound. The more contact he made with these items, the more he could learn about who owned them and what kind of life experiences they had. It was the best way to learn about human reputations, or demons for that matter.

He was sure to stay away from the photography equipment, at least of what he knew was photography equipment. A lot had changed in modern technology since he was last outside. But after touching a light stand, his “data” updated and he managed to stay away from the rest of it.

He found a few more of Alex’s things and wrinkled his nose in disgust and he inhaled his scent. Visuals flashed before him that made his stomach sink, and he decided then and there that he didn’t like that one too much. As to what to do about it, he knew he’d have to wait until he could learn more about Claire’s current reputation and emotional wellbeing.

It wasn’t that he had a soft spot for certain humans, he found them interesting sure, but overall their lives didn’t matter much to him. There were exceptions of course, the worse of a person that someone was, the more he enjoyed damaging their reputation.

It wasn’t that she was worried about the state of her apartment and Agares-…No, that was exactly it. Especially if he caused trouble once Alex would get home. The brunette didn’t seem to even acknowledge Claire when she picked him up. He made her move to the back of her own bike so that he could drive home.

Once they got back, he started complaining about how his day went, about horrible customers and how sore he was. Without any consideration to what she was trying to warn him about, Alex shoved the door open and shot a look to kill a small animal at the demon in her living room.

“So that’s it? You’re cheating on me with another green haired hippie freak?”
……….

Agares smiled softly, an expression that completely changed his demeanor, as he quickly stood to greet the intruder, er, new human.

“Oh I’m so sorry, this is a misunderstanding,” the demon said apologetically, “I’m Auther Agares, a graduate student from Munich. My housing plans went awry once I’d arrived and-oh, no excuses from me, I bumped into Claire, quite literally, outside the Student Affairs office today after an unhelpful meeting, and ended up explaining my predicament to her.”
The demon paused and reached forward to grab the man’s hand, shaking it enthusiastically and yet timidly to give the impression of an uneven power dynamic.

“You must be Alex,” he said warmly, “Your kind and generous girlfriend has told me all about you. I hope it’s not too much of a bother, but since you have your own apartment and there is a spare room, Claire has offered to let me stay here until I’m able to find proper housing. I’m looking for side employment starting tomorrow so that I can help repay any costs that I can, as I have yet to begin my research at the university.”

The demon kept his glowing green eyes locked on Alex’s, while his expression read as passive, almost pitiful, Claire could see his underlying predatory nature. Something about his hypnotic eye contact was keeping Alex unaware, and the defensive man’s shoulders slowly started to slump and relax.

“I do hope to be out of here in just a few days if possible, and I truly apologize for any inconvenience that this may cause you as well as Claire,” the demon said, I’m willing to do whatever I can to be a considerate guest.”

Exo Scenario: Waking Up with Yixing ~

Waking up with Yixing!

I love this “series”, not really a series but this trope because they’re all so comfy and cute and thank you for sending it in. Hope that you like this, and if you haven’t already, please check out my others (I have one coming up for Namjoon of BTS too):

Jongin, Jongdae, Kris, Minseok ~

Sleeping beside Yixing could have either been a pleasant experience or a complicated one. The boy liked to cuddle, but he also tended to take up a vast majority of the bed the two of you shared and you usually woke in the morning on the very edge of your side, with his arms and legs spread out around him, which only made you cover your mouth, laughing, and trying not to wake him.

This morning was no different, especially as the two of you were staying in a hotel, away from home for filming purposes. The studio’s staff had been sure, as always, to book a room with a King sized bed, mostly because they knew how Yixing slept and knew that you would need the room as well. But your innocent boyfriend still tended to take up just as much space, only sprawling out even more in the extra space of the bed, his sleeping mind not remembering that you were there as well.

You wondered how each and every night the two of you went from cuddling and holding one another to this.

Nudging his shoulder slightly, you moved in bed so that you were closer, moving his arm and having him stir awake, taken by surprise by the sudden movement of his limb.

His eyes turned to you, wide and staring, as he tried to remember where he was and what was going on. Usually if you weren’t there to wake him, a member of his staff would do so, or he would wake to an alarm, getting up on his own.

Still, it was entertaining to see his face just as he woke up. You would never get tired of seeing such a thing.

Leaning in and kissing his cheek lovingly, you told him “good morning” and then proceeded to get up from bed. He watched you go, eyes blinking several times before he completely processed everything, making him sit up and still stare after you.

Even when he was completely awake, he liked to just look at you. As if he were memorizing everything about you. He always did it, and it was something that you had originally been self conscious of, but were now more comfortable with, even loved now.

“What were your plans for today?” you asked him, wondering what his shooting schedule was and if the producers were going to come here to collect him or you needed to drive him to the point of production. Either way, you wouldn’t be spending much of the day with him. It was mostly why you insisted on sharing a room with him while he was filming. 

It was really the only time the two of you spent together. And you would take it whenever you could get it.

Yixing thought about that for a minute before he was rubbing at his tired eyes and crawling out of bed, his boxers low on his lips and his body displayed before you. Even early in the morning he looked good and you couldn’t help but ogle him, smiling at him when he caught your eyes. He grinned, too, though it was more subdued because he was still not completely awake.

He walked right past you to brush his teeth in the hotel’s bathroom, but when he returned, he wrapped his arms around you, a little more awake now after splashing some cold water on his face as well and kissed your neck.

However sensitive his was, you really liked it when he did this, especially when the two of you were alone like this, having just woken up, and getting ready for the day.

“The production team are coming to pick me up in an hour.” he murmured, words soft and almost fragile. He didn’t like being away from you for so long, but he also really enjoyed filming and the show that he was on. You liked the brothers that he worked with, too, just as much as he did, and they were all on a first name basis with you as well, treating you like a sister. 

Nodding, you shrugged out from under his touch only to grab a towel and change of clothes before dragging him into the bathroom with you, wanting to still talk to him as you got ready. He didn’t mind and the two of you were obviously comfortable enough that when you undressed for the shower, he didn’t blink an eye. He even took your clothes from the floor and put them away as you called out to him.

“Did you want to grab some breakfast before you have to go, or would you rather not?” sometimes Yixing didn’t like to eat so early, because he never knew what the show would throw at him the day of filming. It could have been rigorous and challenging, causing him to become a little sick if he ate before, or it could have been a puzzle game, making him use his mind more than his body.

He hummed along, trying to think as he stepped back into the bathroom, sidling up right next to the shower and peaking his nosy head behind the curtain, making you roll your eyes. You flicked water at him, but it only made both of you laugh before he was letting the curtain fall back.

“I could eat.” he managed to say after a little while, and then the two of you started talking about what he thought the crew would have him do today, what type of activities and whose team he would be on, if he wasn’t by himself like usual…

When the two of you were done getting ready, you ate a quick breakfast before he needed to leave for filming. You were standing in the elevator on the way down to the lobby so that he could go when you started pouting and holding onto him closer.

“Be careful today.” you murmured. Sometimes he hurt himself during filming, or pushed himself too hard and it made your heart hurt to see those episodes or receive a tired Yixing back from filming. It never did well to your patience or mind to see how much he overworked himself. 

He let out a soft whisper of a sigh, but nodded nevertheless and kissed you plainly on the lips, not a very passionate kiss, but most of your kisses were not passionate.

They were sweet and loving. Simple. And just the way you loved them - and him.

“I’ll try.” he murmured, kissing you again before the elevator doors opened and he was smiling, genuinely happy to be doing what he did. It made your own eyes light up with joy upon seeing his face and you loved the fact that you got to wake up to this boy nearly every morning, no matter how much space he took up on your shared bed.

You still loved him so completely, it nearly destroyed you all the time.

“Love you.” you said, waving as you watched him go. And you watched as he smiled at your words, that little dimple of his indenting into his cheek and his eyes staring back at you lovingly as he waved like a little kid.

“Love you, too.” he said back before he disappeared down the hall.

The Signs As Things My Friend Has Tweeted :
  • Aries: This vine is me
  • Taurus: sad:(
  • Gemini: I wanna go to the beach :(
  • Cancer: bless ur soul
  • Leo: boutta chef it up in the kitchen
  • Virgo: wait this is so weak wow
  • Libra: Hit it Fergie allthetimeiturnroundbrothersgatherroundalwayslookingatmeupanddownlookingatmyuhhhhh
  • Scorpio: lol
  • Sagittarius: so bored I think I'll go to bed
  • Capricorn: need to be productive today
  • Aquarius: someone pls pick me up and save me from my boredom
  • Pisces: Soming home ruins my day every time

|requested by anonymous|

|baby, came home today|

Y/n p.o.v

I woke up to someone running there hands through my hair, I groaned slightly as my eyes burned at how tired I was. Last night was eventful, Louis had came back home from tour and we had crazy sex all around the house and least to say, I was sore, he chuckled slightly as I gripped onto him tightly “babe…..we have to wake up and be productive”. I moaned “no we don’t, you were gone for 4 months, 4 months away from me, we don’t have to do anything” I argued. I seriously missed him and not having him with Me actually started killing me slowly, I lost some of my hair because of stress, I had grown used to sleeping with him so then I couldn’t sleep, without louis here everything was a disaster.

He kissed my forehead which I smiled to “well, how does my beautiful queen feel today?” He smirked slightly, oh this cheeky fucker. “Sore” I said giving him what he wanted, he looked down at me, and laughed once again. “I may be able to know a few 2 or 3 things, I could do to you so you won’t be sore anymore” I grinned, looking up at him, a mischievous look on his face “oh really? Like what?” I challenged. He smirked and kissed my shoulder blade “this” he muttered and then moved to my collar bones “and this” I giggled slightly as I watched him, he always managed to catch my attention.

His fingers ran down my belly and to my heat, he lingered his fingers over my clit, chills running down my spine, his eyes looking into mine like if he ever looked away, it would cost him his life. “This” he captured my lips in his, I parted my lips almost too quickly but louis didn’t mind, that was his goal, that I’d give into him and it was expected, I always gave into louis. I ran my hands through his messy long brown hair, he rubbed my clit in figure 8’s leaving me breathless while my back arched to his touch. He was so delightful, always know where to touch and how to touch.

He left my lips, a heavy breath coming from my lungs and leaving my mouth as he began butterfly kissing my chest, laying his tongue flat onto one of my nipples, I moaned slightly as again, I watched shamelessly, he went lower and lower, his kisses burning passion onto my skin as I wanted him so much, needed him so much and I didn’t have to ask for anything, Louis already knew this but the little fucker was a tease, oh what a fucking tease.

His lips hovered over my heat, his soft breaths fanning over it, making me whimper out slightly “louis….” I muttered, he looked up at me, his eyes wrinkling at the ends as he gave me a Cheshire cat smile “yes, love?” He asked politely, I whimpered one more time before I finally spoke “make love to me, louis…I need you” he smirked “as my queen requests”. He licked a long strip up between my lips, making me grip onto his hair, his tongue molding my skin as he made me become wetter and wetter, my juices beginning to moisten his tongue even more, the new contact leaving me a complete mess and now I just realized how much I actually needed him, I really needed him.

He sucked onto my clit, pulling onto it slightly with his lips before letting it fall back on its place, making me go crazy, he used 2 of his fingers to spread me up before rolling his tongue on me, over and over again, one hand gripped onto hair while the other gripped onto the sheets as I buckled my hips up into his mouth “louis….I want to cum…..please…let me cum” he listened to my words as he dipped his tongue deeper inside, I screamed out as that burning sensation, I knew too well became rising from my belly.

“Louis…fuck…don’t stop” I was so close and he wasn’t stopping and I closed my eyes tightly as I came undone onto his tongue, he slurped as he began to lick me clean, my sensative clit having no competition to his curious tongue. He came back up to me as he smirked “you liked that, babe?” I nodded as I let a breathless sight leave my system “good, because I’m not done yet” I whimpered at his words, he grabbed onto his cock and ran his tip into my walls, I moaned, this little fucker, knew exacly what he was doing.

“I love you so much” he groaned as I kissed his Adams apple, I nodded and looked into his eyes “I love you too, soooo much” I confessed, he smiled, he entered me, making both of us gasp, he groaned as he heald himself up by his forearms so he wouldn’t crush me with his weight even though I could take it, he Began thrusting in and out of me, he laid his forehead against mine and kept going, moans leaving both of ours lips.

I wrapped my legs around his waist as he groaned out my name “so fucking tight, y/n…..so fucking good…uh” he hid his face by the crook of my neck, his hot breath puffing against my skin, making me shut my eyes as pleasure ran down my body, he knew all the places to hit, as he found my g-spot, I couldn’t help but scratch his back, my claws leaving un patterned lines on his slightly tan skin.

“I missed you so fucking much! So fucking much” he groaned, his thrust getting deeper, more timed. I nodded as I gulped a breath left my lips “I missed you too, baby….missed you so much…uh” I moaned out loudly, the bed began to creek under us, our bodies began to become sweaty “fuck…louis…uh” I could feel my second orgasm reaching as I gripped the back of his neck as he thrusted faster. He took his arms and put them under me, bringing me up and going faster, making my body tremble with each trust, his pelvis rubbed against my clit “louis, I’m so close” my walls clenching around his groin. he smirked and kissed my lips “I can tell, babe” he moaned. He was close too, I could tell by the concentrated look he wore.

The veins on his neck began to become more visible and his groans got louder as I knew he was about to orgasm, he took his thumb down to my clit and rubbed it slowly, doing the opposite of what his cock was doing, I screamed as I shut my eyes tightly and a gasp left my lips as my legs became weak and my 2nd orgasm left me wasted, he came seconds later, loud groans and profanities leaving his lips, he slipped out and fell besides me, I cuddled up to his side, kissing his cheek as I admired his beauty “damn, babe…that was amazing” I giggled as I slapped his chest slightly “look who’s talking, you are great” I kissed his cheek slightly, “now let’s go take a shower and maybe, we will be productive today”. He raised his eyebrows and he rushed to pick me up, carrying me into our shared bathroom. He put the shower on as I giggled in his grip, he was so fucking mischievous.

He put both of us under the soothing warm water, he kissed my lips lustfully “louis, you can’t be serious, we just had sex, I’ve had 2 orgasms” he smirked and started with a whiny girl voice “it’s been 4 months, 4 months” I blushed slightly as he chuckled and he picked me up, pressing me against the white tiled shower “well get used to it” he whispered as if it was a secret. He entered me without warning making me moan out loudly.

He pounded into me quickly as the water cascaded from both our bodies, I threw my head back as I clawed at his shoulders, he quickly pulled out and turned me around and he entered me once again, moans slipped my lips, echoing through the bathroom doors, he grabbed the shower head and put it against my clit, my mouth fell open as I slipped my hands down the tiles, in pure extacy, I could his groans roaring from his chest, the only sound, the water running and our skin smacking against each other. It was going to be a long morning.

●hope you enjoyed●


Sorry this sucks, it’s short and like bad I guess, I’m not in tune with the death of my friend and I didn’t want to keep you guys waiting so I just wrote this so you guys wouldn’t be mad, thank you guys for the support, love you!

just a little something fun i wrote. i hope its not too bad. grammar isnt my strong suit. also, there may be some discrepancies as far as your hlwily timeline goes (ie; the kids’ age differences, when noah started calling niall dad, etc). and do brits have quarters? that i’m not sure about. but, i hope you like it, geena. much love xxx

Ring.
Ring.
Riiiiiing.
“Hi, you’ve reached Gemma Styles, leave a message at the tone, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.“ 
Niall hung up before he heard the beep. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” He cursed as he looked up to the daunting aisle eight. If he knew what he was supposed to be getting, then he could make a quick exit. But of course, Gem had been as vague as possible with just the word tampons written below eggs and above shampoo. Was he supposed to be a mind reader? Was this a test for how attentive of the details he was? Because he was drawing a huge blank as of this second and failing miserably. 
A squeaky coo brought him from his thoughts and he looked down at the sweet little face in the carrier propped on the buggy. “You’re a girl, Win. Do you know what I’m supposed to get?" 
She returned a gummy smile and kicked her socked feet, making Niall’s heart swell. "I’ll take that as a no then, but thanks for the input." 
"Niaaaall, can I have another quarter?” Noah came running toward him with a red-cheeked, breathless Everly in tow, trying to keep up with her much longer legged brother. 
“What happened to the handful I gave ye two when we got here?” He asked. 
“Everly never got the sticker she wanted, so we kept trying." 
Niall dug in his empty pockets, coming up short. "Sorry bud, I’m all out. Just stick with me now, we’re almost out of here." 
Noah rolled his eyes and kicked at the ground and mumbled out a defiant "Uncle Harry always has quarters." 
"Yeah well, Uncle Harry isn’t here right now.” Niall bent to pick up Everly, who was tugging at his pant legs. He slipped her into the buggy and a light bulb went off over his head. “Let me just call Uncle Harry and see if he can help." 
”‘Ello, what’s going on, Ni?“ Harry answered on the third ring. 
"Uh, yeah. What are you doing? You busy?” Niall busied himself with wiping a smudge of chocolate from Everly’s squirming face. ‘When did they get into chocolate?’ He wondered. 
“Nope, just dropped Jude and Finny off at Little Kickers. Darcy’s still in school. And Georgie and I are just killing time til we have to go pick everyone back up. You okay, mate?"  
"Is there anyway you could, uh, maybe stop by Tesco on your way home. I kinda could use your expertise." 
There was a pause before Harry answered him with "Sure, I’m actually about ten minutes out. See you in a bit." 
Harry strolled into thru the automatic entrance doors to see Niall in the main lobby with a cart full of groceries and three kids quickly losing patience. 
Harry pulled George, who usually liked to try out his newly discovered land legs, up onto his hip so he could walk a little faster to assess the situation his best friend was in. 
"Uncle Harry!” Noah cried and crashed into his legs and Harry let out an ’oof’
“Hey mate. Are you being good for Daddy Niall?" 
"Of course,” He chirped. “Do you have any quarters?" 
"Maybe on our way out,” Harry winked. “Let me see what Niall’s up to first." 
"Harry, thank God,” Niall walked up to him, ushering him closer to his full cart. 
“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” Harry hitched George up a little further onto his hip. 
“This! This is what’s wrong!” Niall shoved the crinkled, yellow papered shopping list at Harry, who immediately recognized his sister’s neat cursive handwriting. 
“Looks like an ordinary shopping list to me, mate." 
"No! There, see?” Niall thrust his finger onto the words on the paper. 
“Shampoo? I know you’re usually not into washing that mop of blonde mess but it’s a gel substance that folks use to cleanse their..” Harry teased but could see Niall getting visibly distressed. 
“C'mon Harry!  This is serious! Gem needs me to pick up her lady products!” Niall’s voice cracked. 
“Oh. Well that’s no biggie, man. Just grab whichever one she keeps in the bathroom." 
"That’s just it! I have no earthly clue what she uses. I’m drawing a blank. And she won’t answer the phone. And Noah hates me. And Evie didn’t get the sticker she wanted and I’m out of quarters. And this is so hard." 
"That’s what being a family man is, mate. But I can guarantee Noah doesn’t hate you. And we can certainly fix the rest. Now let’s go see what our options are. And if anything looks familiar, it’s probably because you’ve seen it in your bathroom.” Harry grabbed Niall’s shoulder in an effort to calm him down. 
George wanted to toddle around and as Harry let him slip to the floor, Niall scooped up a whining Everly out of the buggy to join George.  Harry drove the cart to make faces at the tiny Winnie cooing up at him with her wide blue eyes. “She looks just like you, Ni.”

“Really, I think she’s all Gem. But isn’t she ace? She’s absolutely perfect.” Niall smiled for the first time since Harry had met him at the grocery store.

The pair stopped in front of the various products on the shelf, in all different sizes, shapes, colors, all offering and guaranteeing a multitude of claims. All had a variation of words like slender, fresh, and one even offering whatever on God’s green earth a lock-guard center was. Niall was so glad he called in backup because he was definitely in over his head.

“Alright, well, Gem’s never been one for sports so we can eliminate some of these.” Harry joked.

“How about these here,” Niall picked up a black box with neon font. “oh it says here, perfect for first timers. Well we both know she’s well past her first time doing anything.”

“Oi, that’s my sister, can we keep the sexual innuendos to a minimum? At least while I’m helping buy her feminine products.”

“Yeah, sorry, sorry, let’s just get this over with.” Niall replaced the black box on the shelf where it belonged.

“Here, these are what the missus uses. I’m pretty sure this is a universal brand. Plastic not cardboard, variety pack on the sizes, this should cover all the bases.” Harry handed the box over to Niall who turned it over in his hands.

“You know way too much about this.” Niall tossed the box into the cart.

Harry shrugged, not taking it as an insult. “Eh, I just know the basics. And trust me, you’ll pick up way more than you ever wanted to know being with Gemma.”

It was then that Harry and Niall realized that the three kids had been uncharacteristically silent for the few minutes they had their backs turned. A giggle made them both turn to find George ripping open a package and handing a wrapped square to Noah and Everly shrieking with delight. A mess of paper surrounded their feet. Harry and Niall looked on in horror as all three children were sticking unused pads to one another. “Look at these cool stickers, Niall! Evie finally got one she liked.”
Harry couldn’t help but smirk, a dimple popping out on his cheek and looked over at Niall’s stricken face. “Welcome to family life, mate.” 

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THIS IS SO GREAT, SWEETNESS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME. I WAS SQUEEING IN MY ART HISTORY CLASS. THIS IS HOW I IMAGINE SOMETHING LIKE THIS GOING DOWN TO A T. I ALWAYS LOVE THE IDEA OF NIALL TRYING TO GO SOMEWHERE BY HIMSELF WITH ALL OF THE KIDS. THANK YOU SO MUCH, SWEETNESS. I MIGHT HAVE TO WRITE THIS. OMG. xx.

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anonymous asked:

Advice for making nice cream??

Of course! Here’s my Crash Course in Banana Icecream:

  • Have a high quality blender/food processor (I know this can’t be helped in most cases, but if you are about to buy a new appliance particularly for smoothies, nice cream, raw cakes etc. then I suggest you save up and buy the best one possible. I cannot praise the Magimix 3200 enough!)
  • If your blender cannot handle the jandal (or, frozen banana chunks, rather), let them thaw for five minutes prior to blending.
  • Do NOT add liquid, no matter how tempting it may be, because this will destroy the consistency and ruin the final product. Trust me, it will melt 10000x faster if you do - pick up that spatula and get scraping instead!
  • Blend past the point where you think it’s done - banana icecream is always better as fluffy as possible, and if you stop blending it too soon it’s rather dense. Fluff that thang!
  • If you want a flavour in it, ensure it’s in frozen or powdered form e.g. frozen or freeze-dried raspberries as opposed to fresh ones, matcha powder instead of a cup of brewed green tea. This will help to preserve the gorgeous blobby texture of the icecream
  • DO NOT REFREEZE IT unless you enjoy chewing on shards of cold, hard creepiness
  • Enjoy!