probs-never-will-be

I listened to the Bloodsucker Proxy Variant yesterday and what really struck me is how much Frank and Sadie seem to genuinely like Michelle–which, of course they would since her parents are two of the very few people in their very small circle. But I wonder how that would mesh with their virtual ignorance about what to do with children.

Like, Donna mentions to Sadie that Michelle’s birthday is coming up and it’s like:

“Frank, we simply must get a present for Michelle Henderson.”

“Sadie, do we know a Michelle Henderson?”

“Of course we do! Daughter of our dear friends, Dave and Donna Henderson.”

“Hmm. Rings a bell.”

“And, as a result, is half werewolf and half vampire.”

“Nearly there.”

“When she was teething, she helped us pop the cork off of a particularly tricky to open bottle of champagne with her baby fangs.”

“Michelle Henderson!”

So, of course, they have to get her a top shelf present which, to them, means a top shelf bottle of something alcoholic. 

Donna is amused but not very surprised to open the obviously bottle shaped present that arrives from the Doyles, two days before Michelle’s birthday.

The Doyles’ phone rings and it’s Donna.

“Good effort but Michelle is turning three.”

“I don’t understand the correlation.”

“Try something chocolate.”

The next day, another bottle shaped present arrives. Chocolate liqueur.

Phone rings.

“So nearly there.”

“Donna darling, why don’t you just tell me what she drinks?”

“Apple juice. She’s turning three.”

Pause. “Apple juice?”

“Yes.”

“As in the food?” Obvious distaste.

“Look, Sadie. I appreciate the thought but–”

“No! Stop it. Sadie saves the day. I’ve fixed everything, don’t you worry about a thing.”

Donna sighs as Sadie abruptly hangs up the phone.

The next day, around sundown, a deliveryman shows up with a package–not bottle shaped which is promising. Even more promising is the strong chocolate smell coming from the box. She opens it up and it’s four huge cupcakes, piled high with frosting. From some upscale bakery from the look of the gilded label which–incidentally–reads: Liquor Infused Chocolate Cupcakes

Sadie’s boarding school perfected handwriting is on the attached card:

Baby steps as it were. Consider this a raincheck until she’s old enough to have a proper drink with us in four or five years.

Love, Uncle Frank and Aunt Sadie

Donna makes a sound that’s halfway between a sigh and a snort of laughter. That’s gonna be one hell of an 8th birthday.

I finally watched the last Danmachi episode, I actually really enjoyed it. It was relaxing in a way lol, I never took Danmachi too seriously anyways since there’s no real main plot at least atm. It’s kind of like “days in the life of Bell Cranel” more than anything. I think that’s why I dig it, because it has a slice of life feel to me more than tryhard action most of the time.

It’s not amazing like “WOW 10/10 OMGGG” but I really like the characters and Bell is adorable.

anonymous asked:

Tayvin's relationship is so perfect and you can tell it's different...I mean in a lot of calvin's pics with aarika they aren't even touching while he's super touchy with taylor

I’m so proud of them I really am. A few years ago, I would never ever have thought anything like these two could happen. If someone asked me if I thought they’d ever get together a few years ago I’d be like “u wot she prob never heard of him lmao” but srsly I’m as happy as they are!

anonymous asked:

since we're sharing about 5sos look alikes, I work with a calum one!! he is asian and his does his hair the same way cal does and he even has a really cool older sister that I regularly hang out with! he's flirty and funny and cheeky and has a real nice bum :^) the only prob is that he has a serious gf so I would never seriously mess with him but he's quite easy on the eyes and a nice destraction for when I'm at work heehee

👍

Reblog with your sign in the tags

aries: the definition of a fuckboy but they actually have a soul. literally don’t give two shits about the haters and are some of the most loyal friends i’ve ever encountered. have very sudden growth periods. super dedicated to anything they put their mind to. ALSO OH MY GOD SO GOOD WITH THE TONGUE 

taurus: very eccentric, don’t really know how to deal with emotions. get flustered easily but it’s kinda cute. dreamy demeanor. will ignore the hell out of u if u fuck them over. are lowkey terrified of everything but will probs never admit that as they have some weird element of ego tied into that. 

gemini: really chill people when u get to know them but will scare the shit out of u for like six years if u don’t approach them. do not fucking piss them off as they will butcher yo ass with their tongue and hang u up for the rest of the world to see. probably has daddy issues. writers. really physically attractive and everybody is intimidated as fuck by it. dumb as hell in terms of love and will flirt with you incessantly. REALLY FUCKIN GOOD WITH THEIR HANDS LIKE DAMN. 

cancer: big hearts. fuckin adorable little water signs that are likely drowning in a puddle of their own tears. do not know how to fucking flirt to save their lives. their laughs are kooky as hell and i love it. probably smoke weed. u either love ‘em or want to kill them or are in some poorly balanced inbetween.

leo: okay y’all needa settle down a bit. fragile fuckin egos if i’ve ever seen ‘em and react hardcore if u piss them off. pretty over the top with everything. but damn, are some of the most hopelessly romantic motherfuckers i’ve met. will treat you like a fucking god(dess) if u let them. not super good at social cues tbh. good friends to have if u need to be validated. need quality time. 

virgo: y’all are lowkey hoes and give no fucks about it and it’s fucking great omfg. despite that, they maintain an endearing innocence and can be childish af when things don’t go their way but will love u until the end of time. great taste in music. super fucking smart but don’t show it off too often. 

libra: jesus christ okay i love u guys. super understanding and will always try to see all sides of a situation. probably have been through a lot. aren’t afraid to call u on ur shit and are lowkey emotional shawtys that are still trying to find themselves. make really wonderful parents. get crazy excited over little shit and it’s fucking adorable. 

scorpio: don’t fuck with these hoes unless u know urself first. will expose the parts of urself that u didn’t want to see. super gnarly in fights and will love u until the end of time. pretty standoffish and need time alone when emotionally unstable. keep themselves in amazing shape. are the loneliest fucks i know; be kind to them always. are probably in great shape (physically.)

sagittarius: craziest mofos out there. abandon all emotions before going into a situation and can be super impulsive. funny as fuck and always seem to be on another level. push themselves to the limit and usually forget to give themselves a break. ambitious and can get shit done when they need to. 

capricorn: talk about a ride or die. y’all are loyal to the grave and are incredible friends. until u get fucked over. will probably make ur enemies’ life a living hell, sometimes over-the-top about it. can be v athletic. good writers/artists. really interested in spirituality and the ethereal realms. u guys know what to do in bed and flirt hard af. also so fucking funny oh my god. 

aquarius: amazing friends. probably hate u. easily excitable. space cadets 4 life. rly good with animals and love food but probably restrict their eating habits in one way or another. a paradox in that they are fucking driven as hell to get shit done but give zero fucks at the same time. lowkey kinky af. want to kiss everyone. 

pisces: emotional shawtys through and through. physically attractive as hell. not good at romantic relationships. won’t forget about u for a million years. keep their friends close but will push u the fuck away if they get scared. insecure and just want u to stick around.

unused urls for people who want them

please take these otherwise they will be deleted without someone to even hoard them (unless bolded - those will be saved but are still up for grabs)

kittymerrick

revenqera

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rebelstump

kittyweekes

spxncersmith

therevengera

vesselvinyl

spencersmitn

nodncrb

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ryauross

ryanoross

completelyryanross

ryamoss

ryanrvss

xofranki

skelettonclique

skeletonjoseph

spiritstump

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ask me for any of them here!

see all of my hoarded urls

judge not lest ye be judged and all that but I just saw a sweaty shirtless man wearing the largest rosary I’ve ever seen