probs gonna get a lot of hate for this but oh well

the story of the underwear cockles op

y’all wanna hear the story of how @amazinmango and i got this photo op at phxcon this weekend?

PART ONE: BEFORE THE OP

so here’s the thing: n o n e of this was planned. it was amazing, hilarious, ridiculous kismet. 

mango’s had his birthday recently, and so i brought his birthday present with me to phxcon. part of the present was a pair of jensen’s underbears (i think the text i sent mango right after jib was, “we’re close enough that it’s not weird if i buy u underwear right????”) bc i thought that was hilarious from jib and mango is a huge jensen fan and dean!boy. so the original joke was just that mango could have the bear underwear. i also got him a second pair in orange, bc orange is his fav colour. this was as far as i thought this would go. 

so i get into phoenix thursday night and give mango his present. we didn’t know there were cockles photo ops until friday afternoon when we saw hard tickets for sale. i distinctly remember being bummed that my hometown con had cockles photo ops for sale online but phxcon, the one i was actually going to, did not. but obviously once i saw they were available, like. THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHOICE. so after deciding it was completely financially irresponsible when we have no money, i bought the op. 

i can’t remember when it occurred to us that we had both the underbears and a pair of lucky orange underwear for misha in our hotel room. we wanted to do something fun and funny for the op, and cracked ourselves up at the idea. but we were also aware that it could be, you know, kind of sort of maybe intensely uncomfortable to be like (a) i know what underwear u were wearing and (b) here i brought pairs of them for you to further laugh over. i have a T E R R I B L E akdslkjkas embarrassment squick, so we didn’t want to do anything that made us uncomfortable, and we definitely didn’t want to do anything that would make misha or jensen uncomfortable. we wanted them to have fun with us and play around with us. 

we ran our idea passed our roomie, who has some good con experience, to see if she thought it would fly or not. we agreed on judging our plan based on their mood on the day and asking them if they felt comfortable enough to do it was the best course of action, with a back-up plan ready to go immediately just in case, so j+m knew we were serious that they could totally pass on it if it was weird. CONSENT AND SAFE SPACE. we were hella concerned about this. 

Keep reading

V Headcannons

In ode of the upcoming V Route (since in some areas, IT’S AUGUST WOO) I’ve decided to address some V Headcannons that I personally think are completely plausible and holy fuck I love this man here we go

•He loves to cuddle. He’s not used to it, but he sure as hell loves it. Fight me on this I want my boy to be hugged and safe and warm and-

•V probably has sloth merchandise. He likes the way they live and finds them extremely adorable and thank the gods for this pure man and for these pure animals Jesus fucking Christ

•V’s pictures each have #Aesthetic names like, it’s canon one of the names are “Her Shadow” and another “Hope’s Beginning” so fuck yeah he’s aesthetic as hell

•V doesn’t really dislike any food in particular, so fucking imAGINE HIM AND JUMIN BEING BEST FUCKING PALS AND COOKING TOGETHER AND ENJOYING PANCAKES EVEN IF THEY TASTE LIKE SHIT BECAUSE THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS CUTE AS FUCK AND AH

•V wears a lot of overalls and sweaters while traveling abroad to take photographs. He likes the feeling and likes how he doesn’t need to wear a belt. I love this man holy shi

•He has a dream journal… if anyone read it they’d be weirded out smh this boy has some weird ass dreams lemme tell you

•It’s confirmed he has a sister (who lives abroad but sh) so you BETTER KNOW HE LET HER PLAY WITH HIS HAIR AND WAS THE BEST BROTHER AND LOVED HIS FAMILY EVEN IF SHIT WENT DOWN OR SMTH BUT PRAISE THE GODS FOR THIS PURE BEAN

•Remember how V tried telling Jumin he had terminal cancer in Baehee’s Route? Yeahhh I really hope he faked being sick so he could stay home sometimes during his schooldays. In those days he’d prob take pictures or stare at a wall and think about sloths or smth

•V used to have a cat when he was younger so maybe then he could finally get some pussy
Oh my fucking gods just pour bleach in my eyeballs now fucking hell

•When his sight began to fail, V bought so many sunglasses holy shit he probably has those steampunk sunglasses or even those cheesy five dollar ones with the bright colors and weird shapes. But he probably also has a small collection of fucking expensive as hell sunglasses that are probably worth more than my college tuition jfc

•V tips like a champ like for real he probably tried tipping 200% once and nearly made the waiter faint because it was a multi hundred dollar meal with Jumin who you fucking KNOW eats that expensive good good

•V’s phone battery is probably higher than your stoner cousin rn because he never knows when he doesn’t have his professional camera on him and needs to take a picture of like a flower (or a sloth)

•I stg V probably has read Harry Potter a fuck ton of times no joke and has merchandise and owns all of the movies. If you say a quote, he’ll probably tell you the book, chapter, page, paragraph, and sentence tbh what a dork

•I really hope V had an emo phase and when he first looked at Mint Eye!Saeran was probably thinking “yo what the fuck did Rika show you my old facebook account or what” even tho he’s too nice to say that shit out loud

•V hates chiffon cakes

•I really hope V likes camping for his photography. Like, you won’t hear from him for weeks (lol I bet whenever V goes AWOL the RFA just thinks he’s camping) and once nearly got mauled by a bear trying to take a picture of it (Yoosung’s favorite picture jfc)

•V uses contact lens and one time tore his right lens while swimming and started crying because that was his last right lens fucking hell

•V is such a fucking cutie when it comes to dates like holy shit what a gentleman. Like he’s vanilla af to dating (like do you really think he would date around?) so he tries his best to swoon the MC and it fuCKING WORKS TAKE ME

•He likes to wear eyeliner and once wore sparkly fingernail polish because he’s glitter af

•Doesn’t really watch anime that much, but probably has like a top ten that he likes. He once tried to watch Attack on Titan and nearly cried what a soft boy I love him

•He likes left Twix because Jumin likes right Twix and he thinks it’s funny what a cutie <3

•He likes planting flowers randomly in his house. One time he planted a sunflower next to his head and woke up to a butterfly on his nose aww
Long story short he sneezed -o-

•Alongside his sunglasses collection, you fucking bet your left titty that he has a flower crown collection. Rika tried getting rid of them while they dated, but he hid them and wears them while he goes camping. Smol flower boy uwu

•When he was younger he wanted a fantasy-like wedding but now our smol boy just wants to be loved by someone who won’t FUCKING SCRATCH HIS EYES OUT UHHH

•Used to be a crybaby when he was younger, now he knows how to cry on the inside more 
Someone please pet this boy’s cotton candy hair and tell him it’s gonna be alright ;-;

•You know those kids who would wake up hella early to watch cartoons?
…
V wasn’t one of them bye

•V wore reading glasses when he was little fight me on this

•V has a blog to help aspiring photographers and totally gives them #1 tips and is uber sweet abt it and holy fuck take my soul

•Once confused a fox and a cat while his eyesight was shit. He brought it in his house and everything. Jumin visited the next day and guess what he thought it was a cat too. It took a surprisingly long time for them to realize cats don’t look like foxes.
Hint he took the fox to the vet and found out after the secretary screamed

•Hates killing bugs but hates bugs

•V’s the kind of person who’s always buying lip balm but always losing them too like if you look under his couch he probably has like twenty down there

•Probably doesn’t take a lot of selfies, but when he does he looks bomb af and makes Zen reconsider his entire life

•Wanna bet my college savings that V has a really cute back tattoo?

•Once milked a cow. He asked permission and was uber polite to the cow, even apologized to it because he thought he was hurting it. Pet its baby and hugged the smol cow. V thinks cows are pretty.

•Once he came home after visiting Jumin and took a shower. Somehow his drain was filled with white cat hair.

•Once gave Saeyoung a kazoo. He regrets it.

•V is probably the type of person who leaves the empty cereal box in the panty and an empty carton of milk in the fridge. He means well but sometimes he just stares at it and decides somehow it’ll be easier to put it back instead of in the trash bin. He lives alone so it’s not like he’s being mean to anyone lol

•Cut his thumb with a spoon once (actually happened to me once, to this day I wonder how the fuck did I manage that) so V only has nineteen spoons now.

•Has a weird scar on his head from a shelf breaking while he was under it. Jumin had a professional interior designer plan out a “safer” living room for him. V was too nice to tell Jumin that it was silly and too embarrassed to admit that he’s just bad at installing things.

•Not a headcannon, just wondering. Do you think V has blue armpit hair?

•Has flower pillowcases but otherwise has plain sheets. Flower boy -3-

•Has a hobby of photoshopping Jumin’s face onto cats. He once accidentally sent it in a chatroom with Zen in it. Freaked the hell out of Zen and apologized, even though he found it kinda funny.

•Every once in awhile, he likes making cool shapes with his smoking pipe and shows them to Zen, smoking bros.

•He doesn’t play video games, but used to indulge himself in a few of Yoosung’s talks about LOLOL. What a sweetie

•Likes crunchy things, probably has like a lot of crunchy, dried fruits and vegetables in his pantry. Him and Zen snack between V using Zen as a model for photos. ZEN has V recommend him brands and his favorites.

•V tried chewing gum a few times, but always ended up swallowing it by accident so he decides he’d rather not. He also doesn’t like how sweet a lot of the brands are.

•A total dork and probably has a lot of movie dates with MC. They probably eat some of his crunchy fruits I mentioned above and drink champagne out of mugs. Once V got scared during a movie and spilled his drink on MC (and in the fruit but he doesn’t care about that) and offered to let her wear some of his pajamas. Nearly had a nosebleed when he saw (ha…) her

•Kinda wimpy when it comes to horror movies, but likes watching them in a big theatre so he knows he isn’t alone.

•Did I already say he is a cuddlebug? Yeah? Too bad, I love this dork and he needs cuddles -^-

That’s basically all I can manage rn if I have any typos it’s because I’m too lazy to proofread.

I learned something while writing these headcannons. It takes a special talent to write them, a talent I do not have but whatever they’re fun to write.

-Gelsomino

I was wondering if any [past or present] Jonerys, Pro-Daenerys fans like myself feel this way.....?

Firstly Id say please be nice i just enjoy analyzing the shit out of fandoms I like, (im a history/polysci major ((with an emphasis on Peace Justice and & Conflict Studies)) all i do is analyze and try to be diplomatic lmao) but considering all they petty drama between both ships as well as pro/anti Daenerys stans ON BOTH SIDES I’m going to be “That Person” and at least ask for people to be respectful/civil, I want to hear from everyone and their metas/what they think which is why i tagged like, all the tags, no matter if you love her/the ship or cant stand it, as long as everyone can keep civil

So firstly I’ve loved Dany both books and show from the beginning. She’s gorgeous, wants to be the best person she can be, and her hair/fashion style game is always ON POINT.  That being said, somewhere around season 5 i think i’ve found my opinion on her cooling a little bit, ep after ep, till now. Like I still like her bc she was my first character love on the show but I’ve def soured in my opinion on her. Maybe it’s because I love learning about the subject that im more baised (im hoping thats the case) but she just seemed to have no interest in actual governance, just the reputation (esp of being the ‘rebel queen’)/the awe/the power/the thrill of the adoration that went along with it to the point where I feel like though she still wants to be a ‘good queen’ or at least wants to be seen that way, she doesnt want to do much work for the title. Like yeah she freed all the slaves and that was a def progressive and awesome move on her part (major props! slavery is sin and im glad someone recognized that who had the power to do something about it) but she didnt handle that aftermath or ensuing problems well at all nor really mulled heavily on the subject to find the best solution. She just got fustrated with pretty basic/common (albeit complex in themselves) issues of standard governance and kind of went agh! fuck this! (obv not actual quotes but that was the vibe I got). And then ESPECIALLY after season 7 her character has kind of nagged at me in the back of brain which i hate but its inherent like its just a feeling i cant help it?? I just dont know why to be honest that Im feeling so negative towards this character i used to love.  The whole ‘ bEnD thE knEe ‘ thing w/ Jon and yet pinning it on Jon’s pride not equally on his and her own was more than a little hypocritical, when hon they can discuss it later like at that point they have two common enemies the WW and Cersei they both want to do away with, and then again with the Bend the Knee or Die bit w/ the Lannister soldiers. In fact the whole sequence before that point felt kind of villinous I dearsay, I mean  deliberately burning the harvest that most of westeros needs for the winter or even strategically not willing to try, and well, nOOt intentionally burn the food considering its winter, the harvest is over (so likely not much is gonna grow in the time being) when she has a G I A N T ass army of her own to think of feeding???? Like i get it is war shit happens soldiers die but the F O O D ? Was that an impuslive in the moment mistake or did she just not give a fuck? And back to the aftermath scene/Bend the Knee 2.0, her speech was again quite hypocritical…and burning dickon?????? not willing to keep prisoners???? either bend or die??? I actually am glad she did away with Papa Tarly bc he was an awful human, but dickon????? a young idealistic man about to loose his father??? the heir to a major ally/house???? And honestly that bend or die strategy is soooooo dumb bc now she cant trust any of them like theyre only bending the knee out of self preservation homie, no one wants to die. they bend  the knee to survive and now they all of the sudden think youre their queen? Nah fam, prisoners were better, all you got are spies in your camps or people willing to backstab you at the smallest promise of coin. And i dont want that for my girl

IDK the whole “im gonna BREAK THE WHEEL,,,,,,,,yet im stating my claim mainly on my housename (aka the predominant force of said wheel for a literal dynasty) and the fact that i can scare people who otherwise are unconvinced bc lets be real westeros has had a bad run of rulers a lot of which were Targs in the past couple decades, into submission bc ill burn you otherwise???” doesnt sit well with me nor does it feel like the character ive been rooting for the past five-ish seasons. She just doesnt seem to put into effort on understanding Westeros, why things go wrong, being self-critical or sharing the blame,thinking on what a “good” ruler would do…. anyone else feeling this way and if so do you think this is just shitty writing? D&D butchering her character? or a new arc for her? perhaps the way shes always been? She just seems like a tantruming child bratty and entitled idk (a beautiful child but still) 

As for jonerys…… im not gonna go into it much but how are other shippers happy????????? I honestly dont understand. I was SO looking forward to this season/this ship. like so much! But it felt so forced? And i know a lot of people claim its cause its rushed but tbh we’ve had a lot of romances in a similar time frame that felt like A C T U A L romances…..even Talisa/Robb who the Northerners will prob compare any of this too were so much better. THIS WAS MY EPIC SHIP DUDE. I feel the dany side of things (took a while but theres def heart eyes) and yet Jon???? He felt hollow. Still does even after sex. Im so disapointed but more than that I cant see the romance or the chemistry. He looks constipated. Hes never smiled like with his teeth around her the way hes done w others he cares deepily about (ygritte, toramund, sansa, even fkin gendry in the first scene they had together). He never reveals anything about himself. And between the “my queen” ep (and remember he was look warm when discussing her to toramund throughout it) and the previous the only thing that changed was that he saw the actual difference dragons made against WW. You could argue she saved them all too but that doesnt make you fall in love w someone out of the blue and also people have saved his ass before and??? Sansa w the vale anyone??? (Not an argument for jonsa js its happened) (though ill admit ive transitioned to loathing jonerys and loving jonsa more as a potential couple in the space of seven eps where if you asked me I wouldve been like PSH u cray. I never thought it would happen in a mill years but D&D ruined my ship and here i am! Shipping aside tho since its best too look at these things as neutral as possible).  Anyways the sigh of his after she left and when he pretended to be asleep…. idk. The only scene that felt genuine and where Jon smiled and it didnt look like a full on grimace and they actually kinda joked around was really nice and at the pit at the finale and if they do a LOT more of basic romance stuff like that I could ship it again but. It was followed by boatsex and boy. 

I was hoping boatsex might rekindle my like for the two together. I could see the chemistry the passion. I was hoping the passion would overwhelm me and make up for the rest. But instead……like there was no foreplay, it lasted 2 seconds, and it was overplayed by brans voice and a reminder of future conflict or at the very least major angst b/w the two. i didnt see the parallel between regear and lyanna playing alongside their scene as anything romantic or that it should be taken as such. and the look they shared…. I was hoping jon would bring it bc Dany’s look in her eyes is like soooo smitten and adorable and say what you will I still have a space in my heart for her and still dont want her to suffer, but again Jon looks like oh shit/constipated. And not in a good oh shit way either. 

There is a bunch more too but Imma stop there bc Im just tired at this point. 

So many things were just….off this season. And it cant all be blamed on the “rushed” time frame. I’ve read the undercover lover theory and hon it makes the most sense (not perfect sense but still, more than what we’ve been poorly spoon fed) but im not willing to believe it just yet. Still, maybe D&D are just butchering a lot of things like making the romance believable and stuff for the sake of time that could be true i guess. But they like to go AHA GOT U so 

Idk I dont find a lot of meta in the jonerys tag bc honestly (((((i think its bc the tag and ship are more popular and theirs more people both good and bad)))) it doesnt seem like snowballing theories is something all fans take really well in the tag at all. But whatever. I really want to know, is there any meta or theories im missing to either validate the icky feeling Im haveing about D or her “romance” or on the flipside anything that might make me change my mind about it? Theories, meta people!

I just want to reiderate im not trying to hate on anyone or any point of view and I will flag any comment anti one ship or person or another if its plain hateful or rude. I just want to understand it and see what Im missing, esp because of how much I was looking forward to her arc and jonerys’ dynamic and how much the words “falling short” dont seem to cover it. And to see if im not the only one to either have critique on the ship or her character [or even actually change ships]

Also i apologize for how much ive said “IDK” i just….. I DONT KNOW 

Friends to Lovers

A/N: these things always give me the damn butterflies and they’re just so! frickin! cute! I figured I’d try it out and see how it goes.

Pairing: Reader x Taeyong

Prompt: friends to lovers 

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings/Genre: fluff, pg-13, smut suggested towards end

Originally posted by nctaezen

  • warning y'all this got really long (oops?)
  • okay lets get this show on the road lmfaoo
  • so obviously you guys have to meet somewhere right
  • yeah so there’s this really good cafe downtown
  • it’s like a lil ways down the street from where your apartment is
  • and they’re having a free food tasting night, right?
  • and ofc you’re there bc
  • it’s free food man
  • who would turn that down
  • not you, that’s for sure
  • and you’re there with your roommate 
  • who also happened to be in a few of your college classes
  • since your friends were seniors in highschool
  • they were busy that night
  • but you liked your roommate so you dragged her along
  • and the night was going great so far
  • like there was so much foooooood
  • at one point during the night she slaps your arm
  • and nearly spits her drink on you
  • you’re like “uh wtf girlie?” 
  • and she’s like 
  • “look at the group of gods that just walked in”
  • and you turn around and nearly choke on the horderve in your mouth
  • bc damn
  • those men are hella fine
  • but one stands out in particular
  • the one with dark eyes and pink hair
  • and you’ve never been more intrigued in your life
  • so you being the nosy hoe that you are
  • you walk over there and say
  • “hi sorry to interrupt, but can i ask you why you have pink hair?”
  • and everyone laughs except you and pink hair boy
  • you stand there awkwardly
  • waiting for someone to say something 
  • and pink hair boy just slams down his drink and walks away
  • which makes his friends just laugh even harder
  • “I like her” said a guy with a pretty smile
  • cue more laughing
  • the really tall one was the first to calm down
  • “he just got his hair today, he’s not a fan either”
  • “oh no, I like it. But like???
  • why did he get pink hair if he didn’t want pink hair?”
  • “uhhh, it’s complicated?”
  • before you could further question them
  • your roommate pulled you away for a moment
  • but when you went back to look for them
  • they were all gone
  • flashfoward a couple weeks
  • and your friends are telling you about this band 
  • who they had tickets to go see 
  • and honestly you couldn’t even remember the bands name
  • but they were so excited 
  • so you were excited for them so
  • ofc you went with them
  • except you thought they were a little a lot crazy 
  • for paying soooo much $$$ for front row seats
  • anyways now 
  • you’re all in the seats waiting for the show to start
  • halfway through the first song you were like
  • wow these guys look kinda familiar
  • and holy cowwww could they dance
  • dancing kings 
  • so you had your eyes on this one guy who was like super good
  • hip thrusts for daysssss
  • body rolls for weeeeeks
  • but like out of nowhere his hat flies off 
  • and guess who tf it was up on that stage
  • pink hair boy
  • Pink. Hair. BOY.
  • and also his friends with the laughing problems
  • and your friends notice your sudden change and are like
  • “girl, what is it”
  • and your just like “sorry gotta pick my jaw up off of the ground”
  • they giggle
  • “yeah they’re so good right.”
  • “super good, what’s that one’s name” you ask
  • pointing to pink hair boy
  • and ofc he notices and immediately his looks at you
  • with the ‘i feel like i know you from somewhere look’
  • and then it hits him
  • how you/him could be so obvious???
  • and you’re both gawking at each other
  • your friends are oblivious to what is going on and are like
  • “omg that’s Taeyong, isn’t he sooo handsome, 
  • “he’s not my bias so you can have him”
  • and your just like “what’s a bias??”
  • god they made you feel old sometimes
  • and like the tall one notices you next and smiles
  • and during the break in-between songs 
  • tall boy comes back out on stage and 
  • he whispers something in one of the security’s ears
  • and he nods and walks over to your group and 
  • he looks directly at you and is like
  • “i was told to tell you to stay in your seat after the show”
  • and your just like “wut??”
  • and your friends are like having heart attacks and are 
  • sooooo so so confused like
  • “we thought you had no idea who these guys were”
  • “but you KNOW them?!?!?!”
  • and you’re like “I don’t know them really, I kinda insulted one of them.”
  • so you stay after like the guy said to do
  • and your friends are like 
  • “we want details tonight”
  • “all the details, don’t leave anything out.”
  • “don’t you dare leave me here alone!!” you hiss at them
  • but they’re like “sorry I got school tomorrow, sorry I got curfew.”
  • and you hate that your friends are two years younger than you
  • anyways its been like 10 minutes since the last fan left
  • and you’re debating if you should just leave or not
  • then fucking finally
  • some of the guys start coming back out and 
  • the tall one walks over to you first, 
  • “hi I’m Johnny. I remember you from that night when you made my friend mad”
  • and you’re like omg let me just dig myself a hole and die in it
  • “yeah…sorry about that?”
  • “ahh, no it was funny. we’re all gonna go get some food if ya wanna join?”
  • and you agree bc 
  • once again who says no to food??
  • anyways now you’re all chilling in this corner booth
  • at that really good cafe you like
  • and guess who you got squished between
  • pink hair boy and Johnny 
  • they were laughing over something ?Mark? said
  • honesty you’re still trying to remember names
  • you knew pink hair boy’s name
  • it was Taeyong
  • but you liked your personal nickname more
  • you even started to call him that 
  • “hey pink hair boy, pass me the fries.”
  • “HEY!” Taeyong shouted but secretly he liked the nickname
  • and the fact that you didn’t give anybody else a nickname
  • all y'all continued to talk and you really liked the guys
  • you loved making new friends
  • so ofc you exchange numbers with everyone 
  • so you can hang out with them again in the future
  • after all the food was gone you said your goodbyes
  • and Taeyong being the sweetheart he is 
  • is like, “can i walk you home?”
  • and you’re like sure
  • you guys talk on your way back but your phone keeps blowing up
  • and you completely forgot about your friends
  • and their texts consist of “omg are you alive” 
  • and “helloooooo give me the details!?!?!”
  • and Taeyong is like “is everything okay??”
  • you just laugh, “my friends were worried” 
  • but he just take your phone out of your hand and calls them
  • “Yes Y/N is fine, yes I’m walking her home now, yes she’ll tell you everything later, yes i will make sure we meet sometime soon.”
  • and you kinda just gawk at him 
  • like???
  • who tf does he think he is?
  • he just smiles at you and gives you your phone back and says
  • “what? were friends now, it’s fine”
  • and you both continued walking until you reached your apartment complex
  • “Hey! Y/N are you just getting back bc so am-” 
  • your roommate stopped dead in her tracks
  • and kinda gawked like you were earlier at the concert
  • “is….that….pink hair boy???”
  • flashfoward a few more weeks
  • Taeyong and you text like literally everyday
  • mostly y'all just send each other memes 
  • or pictures of the guys when they’re not paying attention
  • saturday nights are movie nights at the dorms 
  • which usually turn into a giant popcorn food fight
  • or pillow fight
  • these guys are basically teenage girls
  • one saturday night though
  • things were a little different
  • it started off with all of the guys 
  • but then it was just dwindling down
  • like until it was just you, Taeyong, Mark, and Johnny
  • then Johnny was like
  • “Mark! we almost forgot about that very important thing we have to do.”
  • and Mark is like, “what on earth are you talking about??”
  • but Johnny just gives him the look and he’s like
  • “Oh yeah we should probs go do that thing…”
  • you didn’t notice but 
  • Taeyong on the other hand
  • was pleading with his eyes for the guys not to leave
  • like
  • you both were cuddled up on the couch
  • and you were laying on against his chest 
  • and he was sure you could feel his heart beating a million times a minute
  • like how could you not hear it!!!???
  • but somehow you didn’t and the guys still left 
  • the movie was only halfway done
  • so you two were like
  • might as well finish it now
  • but towards the end your eyelids were getting really heavy
  • and you couldn’t help but snuggle in more
  • like Taeyong was so warm and comfy
  • you just couldn’t help it
  • and he kinda just let you fall asleep
  • there was no way he was moving
  • so now it’s morning, more like noon actually
  • and you and Taeyong were still passed out
  • all cuddled up together on the couch 
  • with a blanket half on your bodies
  • and all the guys were surrounding you
  • trying to quietly take photos of you two 
  • bc payback for all this pics you took of them
  • but they failed miserably at the whole staying quiet part
  • bc taeyong started to wake up
  • and the second he did the guys immediately froze
  • but they’re like
  • “we couldn’t help it you guys looked so cute”
  • “did you ask her out yet?”
  • and Taeyong is like !!!
  • “what are you talking about, we’re friends??”
  • “Oh sureeee.”
  • and they all laugh
  • causing you to wake up 
  • super confused and you’re just like
  • “i should probably go home now”
  • and Taeyong is to busy blushing to respond
  • so you just say goodbye to the guys and head home
  • when you get back, your friends are waiting in your bed
  • and they’re like
  • “you guys totally kissed didn’t you?”
  • “so are you two official yet?”
  • and you’re just like !!! bc
  • how did they know you had a crush on him??
  • you didn’t tell anyone
  • but you shake your head 
  • and just say, “we’re just friends guys…”
  • “but you don’t wanna be just friends…”
  • flashfoward a couple more weeks
  • it’s a friday night and the guys were throwing this party
  • and Taeyong is like
  • “you and your friends wanna come over?
  • you obviously said yes
  • secretly wishing he had asked you out instead
  • but you had such a good friendship with pink hair boy
  • and you didn’t want that to go away 
  • so you didn’t wanna tell him about your crush
  • bc what if he was really weirded out by it 
  • and then things never went back to how they were
  • you couldn’t risk that
  • anyways, you’re at this party now
  • and the second you found the alcohol 
  • you made yourself a drink
  • and downed it in less than a minute
  • bc you had just seen Taeyong and damn
  • did he look fine as fuckk
  • little did you know that the second you left the kitchen
  • Taeyong did the same exact thing
  • “my god, Johnny why does she have to look so pretty all the damn time” 
  • “dude just grow a pair”
  • Taeyong just glared at Johnny
  • so a few drinks later you were feeling pretty good right
  • and you made your way to the makeshift dance floor
  • dragging your girls with you
  • Taeyong was almost drooling at this point
  • bc no one told him you could dance like that 
  • so he waited for you to go back to the kitchen to make another drink
  • and once you did he followed you in there
  • and you’re a lil tipsy at this point
  • so you’re like 
  • “pink hair boy, I missed you all week, did you miss me? I thought of you a lot” 
  • Taeyong hesitated for a second
  • but then he gave in and walked over to you
  • and stood so close that you could see how dark his eyes were
  • but at the same time
  • you saw how soft they were
  • and how caring they were
  • and your heart is basically mush by now bc
  • one he smells great
  • and standing this close to him is driving you crazy
  • and you’re not really sure who initiated it first
  • but somehow you both started kissing 
  • and
  • it. was. wonderful.
  • like 
  • this was the kind of kiss that you wait your whole life for
  • and Taeyong felt it too
  • both hearts were beating like crazy when you pulled away
  • you just stared at each other in disbelief for a while 
  • until you heard
  • “Duuuuuuude″
  • you looked over towards the door and saw Johnny and Mark
  • and you kinda just freeze
  • bc you don’t even fully understand what just happened
  • and clearly neither do they
  • but then Taeyong is like
  • “can you give us a moment?”
  • and once the guys leave 
  • you thought you were gonna talk
  • but nope
  • this boy plans on giving you a heart attack or something
  • bc he grabs your waist and pulls you closer
  • one hand stays on your hips
  • the other in your hair
  • and he kisses you again
  • and again
  • and again
  • you feel as if the whole world stopped
  • as cheesy as it sounds
  • “Date me” Taeyong pants after pulling away
  • and you just are like !!!
  • bc he likes you???
  • when did this happen???
  • and then you realize you never answered him
  • “I guess..” you say pretending to not really care
  • but he know you’re joking 
  • so he just pulls you in for another kiss
  • but y'all get interrupted again
  • “Mark you owe me $20″
  • and at this point Taeyong is super annoyed 
  • so he turns back to you and grabs your hand 
  • and is like
  • “Lets get out of here”

here’s a long list of random prompts

-”hey dude? can you do me a favor and show me where i asked”
-”….spiders. of course it’s spiders.”
-”how the hell do you find anything in this place?”
-”what the hell is in your pants?”
-”you want me to go get what now
-”there’s no way in hell im working with HIM”
-”so you’re telling me, that out of all of our options right now, that is the plan you wanna go with?”
-”im sorry, what was it you said about vehicular manslaughter?”
-”it’s not stealing if he deserves it”
-”im sorry do you wanna repeat that
-”im not drinking that”
-”for the hundredth time, no
-”now is NOT the time for a selfie!”
-”that’s sick. how could anyone do that” “(just did That)….”
-”is planetary genocide really the answer here?”
-”yeah, about that…”
-”im sorry, but that’s pretty fucking cool”
-”that was the weirdest, scariest, most awesome experience of my life”
-”do i have to?”
-”i’ll wear whatever i want, thank you.”
-”dude are you okay? you look like you’ve got the plague”
-”this is fine, right? it’s probably fine”
-”how was I supposed to know that?!”
-”I didn’t know that was flammable..”
-”you’re kidding, right?”
-”we started at the bottom and somehow we’ve managed to sink even lower”
-”who the hell are you
-”this is a bad idea. this is absolutely a bad idea”
-”guys, maybe we shouldn’t go to this incredibly dangerous place- and you’re already gone.”
-”you can’t expect me to forgive you”
-”maybe i can’t hide, but i can sure as hell run”
-”you can’t just waltz back into my life like nothing happened!”
-”get out
-”is that blood?”
-”do i even want to know what happened?”
-”how the hell did you think that was a good idea?”
-”shut up, Satan”
-”i got my masters for this…”
-”im not supposed to be here
-”you can torture me all you want, i’ll never talk”
-”you’ll have to get through me first”
-”it’s my job to die for you. stop interfering with my work”
-”yes, im his guardian, unfortunately” 
-”well, you see, what had happened was-”
-”what the hell is that noise
-”you’ll never take me alive”
-”that’s the dumbest shit ive ever heard. let’s do it.”
-”i can’t believe you did that”
-”it’s a long story that involves a lot of blood, a couple squirrels, and one hell of a headache”
-”its dangerous” “but it’s so cute
-”have i ever told you how much I hate your guts?”
-”you ruined me.”
-”you’ll pay for that”
-”you can take everything, my possessions, my life, but please, dont take her
-”i’ll come back for you, i promise”
-”hate is such a strong word, i prefer extreme dislike
-”stop pretending to be a hero”
-”I may be a villain, but even i have standards”
-”forget the goddamn mission!
-”Im not doing this for you, im doing it for me.”
-”stay out of this
-”the devil is an asshole”
-”you got a problem with that?”
-”if you hurt them, so help me-
-”what is your damage
-”first of all, ow
-”…i forgot what i came here for”
-”are you sure it’s safe?”
-”thanks, i have anxiety”
-”sorry, but im not on the menu tonight”
-”you threatened who
-”if i wasnt incredibly happy to see you i’d kick your ass”
-”you owe me for that”
-”fuck off ghost!”
-”what kind of horror movie shit is this?”
-”oh, paranormal activity. my favorite
-”we were so goddamn close!”
-”permission to speak freely? that’s fucking stupid.”
-”how come everytime I turn around, you’re blowing something up?”
-”where did you get that
-”don’t look at that!”
-”who gave you permission to be here?”
-”hypothetically speaking-”
-”shut up you fucking nerd”
-”okay- who invited the bear?”
-”you won’t be laughing soon”
-”jeez, talk about a weird hobby”
-”dont you find that just a little suspicious?”
-”you won’t have to worry anymore”
-”i’ll take care of it, once and for all”
-”is there anything you wouldn’t do for money?”
-”fuck your eyebrows”
-”you’ve been playing this game for how long
-”could’ve went a bit smoother, but it still worked”
-”hey, we’re alive right?”
-”you didn’t bring me along for just my good looks”
-”how are you so confident about everything?”
-”oh yeah? if like to see you do better”
-”that’s not how this works! that’s not how any of this works!”
-”why are there so many dogs” “why not”
-”first of all, you ignored my dog in a bee costume, so fuck you. second of all-”
-”are you flirting with me?”
-”why do i find that hard to believe?”
-”why must i suffer”
-”SORRY I COULDN’T HEAR YOU OVER HOW HARD I KICKED YOUR ASS”

Dirty talk? Tree Bros Fic

Connor pulled the door shut behind him and shifted the grocery bag on his arm. He turned to head towards the kitchen and made eye contact with Zoe, sitting on the couch watching T.V.

“Oh. Uh hey I thought you had um…”

“Yeah no. Jazz band practice got canceled at the last minute today.”

“Okay.”

Connor continued towards the kitchen.

“What’s that?”

“Uh bread. We’re out.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

“No prob.” He called over his shoulder as he put the bread away, balling up the plastic bag and tossing it in the recycling bin.

He hesitated at the kitchen threshold. He and Zoe had sorta been tiptoeing on eggshells around each other as of late. Things had been better between them but there was still a definite tension. Finally Connor pulled himself from the threshold and ploped himself down on the couch next to Zoe, wincing at the way she flinched slightly.

“So what’re we watching?”

“Series of Unfortunate Events. The Netflix show not the movie. I’ve been meaning to get into it.”

“Cool.”

Zoe was about halfway into the first episode when Connor joined her. They were both enjoying it though Connor was asking her a lot of questions.

“Will you shut up and just watch!” She snapped.

“Sorry! I never read the books. I just know you were obsessed with them.” Connor drawled.

“I’m surprised you remember that.” Zoe commented. It has been a while since she had thought about her younger years.

“How could I not? You carried one everywhere you went.” Connor chuckled.

About a quarter way through “The Wide Window” Zoe caught Connor on his phone tapping away.

“Quit texting your boyfriend and pay attention! Maybe then you won’t ask me so many questions.” She smirked, tossing popcorn at him.

“Shut up! Evan’s probably coming over tonight so…yeah…”

Suddenly Zoe was struck with a definitely marvelous idea.

“You should totally prank call him! Like talk all sexy to him over the phone!”

Connor threw her a disgusted look as a blush rose to his cheeks. “Fuck no! First of all he doesn’t even like talking on the phone and second-”

“Come on ya pussy! Do it! I dare you!”

“Fuck off!”

“Come onnnnnn!” Zoe threw her arms around his neck and pouted up at him, giving him her best puppy dog eyes.

Connor hesitated. This had been going relatively well. He didn’t want this devolving into another fight.

“Uggggh! Fuck! Fine!” He growled and reluctantly began typing out Evan’s number into the phone app for the first time. Zoe grinned and nuzzled him to which she was promptly shrugged off.

“Put it on speaker!” Zoe urged and Connor reluctantly obeyed. He tensed as it rang. What was he even going to say? “Shit. How am I even gonna do this?!”

“Just talk dirty! It’s gonna be great!” Zoe giggled.

The moment he heard the click of the phone being picked up Connor spoke up

“H-HEY! Hey babe! I’ve uh…I’ve been thinking about you all day. Can’t wait for you to get over here. You…you hot little thing. Can’t wait to get my hands on you…uh-”

“Um…Connor? I-If you’re looking for Evan I-”

“HEIDI?!”

“H-hello dear.”

Click!

Zoe was clutching her stomach and laughing hysterically. Connor, enraged, shoved her off of the couch.

“Fuck you! I hate you so much!”

He jumped off of the couch and ran toward the stairs. “Connor c'mon! I’m sorry, okay?!”

Connor ignored her, stomped up the stairs and slammed the door behind him. Great just great! Now he had freaked out Mrs. Hansen and she probably hated him and would never let him see Evan again and it was all Zoe’s fault! He flopped back on his bed, buried his hands in hair and screamed in frustration.

He was so embarrassed he couldn’t even bring himself to answer the door when Evan came over. Zoe came to the door and was confronted with a very confused and embarrassed looking Evan. “Oh um hi Zoe I uh-”

“It was me alright!”

“Uh what?”

“I dared Connor to say all that stuff to you, he didn’t know your mom was gonna pick up the phone. It’s my fault, alright!? Just…just go talk to him okay?! He’s upstairs sulking in his room right now.”

“Ummm ok.”

Evan awkwardly shuffled past her and up the stairs. He hesitantly knocked on the door. “Uh hi C-Connor…I’m here.”

The door swung open and Connor stood there, not meeting his eyes. “Come to tell me your mom wants you to stay away from me?”

“I d-don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.” He said as he followed Connor to sit down on the bed.

“How do ya figure?” He asked.

“…W-well first of all because my mom loves you. Second b-because we had a loooooong talk about this before I c-came over. And third…she gave me these.”

Evan who was now very red in the face reached in his pocket and pulled out-

Yup. Those were condoms.

Now it was Connor’s turn to burst out laughing.

Vampire todo pt. 2

@bronze-sau-luoi  mwahahaha I’m continuing this ‘cas neuroscientist momo and vamp todo is in need of more hcs. Ty to @ionica01 whom I prob bore to death ‘cas we talked about vampire todo +friends for hours; im gonna do a izuocha vampire au hc soon but have this for now

READ PART 1 HERE


-when todo brought momo to see his family (they lived in a castle away from the city), momo was at first very, very nervous ‘cas hell, they’re all vampires! 

-ENDEAVOR HAS THE CRAZIEST FANGS, and Fuyumi is a total sweetie and wears modern clothes while Endeavor has a ‘way-out-there’ type of velvet red cape (when I mean ‘way-out-there’ I legit mean with ostentatious gems and gold trimmings). Todomom is really accomodating also and teases her son a lot about momo ‘cas momo is so darn cute. Turns out everyone’s preetty chill and they’re super happy that todo finally met his mate after 200 years of waiting.

-todomom: ”For a human girl, she is quite well-endowed, wouldn’t you say Shouto?” todo’s all red:  “…. STOP.”

-todo hates it when momo puts on perfume (”what but its Chanel No.5!!” “Momo, I don’t care what number that thing is. Don’t use it”) ‘cas his vampire heightened senses make him gag and he’d much rather have her natural smell around him

-todo tries really hard to not be swayed by the taste of momo’s blood but he always has an urge; momo lets him and he cuddles her for the rest of the night ‘cas he knows how much pain she goes through ‘cas of him

-momo is really into her research and she wondered if vampires have different brain activity than humans and she’s like “what do you think your EEG would look like?” todo looked perplexed: “what?” “oh, you know, electroencephalogram.” Todo actually took a step back: “I don’t like the sound of that” 

-momo took him to her Halloween work party (momo dressed up as hermione granger and todo is…well a vampire) and introduced him to her coworker bakugou and bakugou’s like to todo: “ your costume looks fake as fuck” and todo didn’t think and just went like: “ah yeah, I’ve worn this for a few centuries now so I guess it’s getting old. Damn it. I need blood”

-momo saw todo spit out the fruit punch that bakugou brought ‘cas he was like “PFFEHH, this isn’t blood? what IS this?” 

-todo doesn’t like the way bakugou talks though it sounds familiar? 

-todo: “bakugou, are you satan’s son.” Bakugou scoffed: “did you just ask if I was a spawn of satan.” “Yeah I did. You talk just like him.” “GO TO HELL” “Your father isn’t going to like it when he finds out that you’ve been roaming the mortal realm.”

-bakugou swore to God this guy was way too into his character and told momo that she needs to keep an eye on her ‘new boy toy’ ‘cas he thinks todo is secretly in need of a psychiatrist

-todo is really watchful of momo; whenever he sees that she isn’t comfortable with a third party, he’ll swoop right in.

-for example, this salesman in the mall tried to hardcore sell momo something. Todo saw and jumps in with a death glare: “what are you trying to do with my mate?” 

-momo freaked out and pushed todo away, “you don’t call me your mate like that in public! This is the 21st century you know?!” though afterwards momo didn’t blame him ‘cas todo’s been living in a castle for most of his life and lost track of time

-TODO MADE MOMO WEAR HIS CAPE (in the bedroom with fishnet stockings) and todo can’t even look at her in the eye ‘cas she is H E L L A enticing 

park jihoon as your older friend

(( AS REQUESTED! // jihoon scenario where you’re 2 years younger than him so you think he only sees you as a little sister but he confesses to you when he thinks you’re gonna date someone else bc he’s scared of losing you??? this is lowkey rly specific but THANK YOU!!! ))

  • ure used to hearing ppl talk abt how young jihoon is, and how hes so so so cute
  • of course, u agree with him
  • everyone does tbh
  • still, it makes u feel a little upset bc it seems like everyone who says those things are older than him, with jobs and life experience and history and Fancy Stuff like tht
  • so compared to them, u feel like a toddler

Keep reading

Mob Psycho 100 AU

I LOVE TAKING TWO WILDLY CONFLICTING SHOWS AND MAKING AUS FOR THEM.

Soooo in case you don’t know what Ajin is, it’s a psychological horror manga/anime about immortal humans (called Ajin) who revive no matter how many times they’re killed and can summon “black ghosts” that are shaped according to the Ajin’s actions. The ghosts cannot be seen by humans unless the Ajin has strong emotions towards a targeted human, like bloodlust, fear, etc. Ajin don’t know they’re Ajin until they die once. Then they are hunted down by a special branch of the government for inhumane experiments and all that lovely bullshit. Also, Kou is my fave lmao the poor idiot doesn’t deserve the shit he’s forced to go through…let him rest gdi

So I’ve been thinking about this AU for awhile now and I’ve come up with some ideas (warning, it’s late and I have shaky-ass fingers so if anything is misspelled or grammatically incorrect, blame my fingers):

Keep reading

"DON'T SHIP HARLEY AND JOKER!" you say?

First of all, I DO NOT FORCE YOU TO SHIP THIS. I AM NOT THROWING SHADE ON YOUR OWN SHIPS. I’LL RESPECT YOU AND YOUR OPINIONS IF YOU RESPECT MINE.

But here are examples of some hardcore Harley and Joker NON-shippers:

- omg i’m so done with these delusional ppl who ship these two together
- delete this
- she should be with poison ivy instead, i hate joker. he doesn’t deserve her.
- joker loves harley? but he keeps abusing her and trying to kill her? if that’s what love is then, fuck this shit i’m out
- let’s continue to romanticize and normalize this abusive af relationship. i’m totally here for it.
- don’t ship this!!! don’t ship her with her abuser!!! don’t put romantic lines to this toxic couple!!!

And here’s what I have to say:

1. some of the shippers already know that joker abuses harley, maybe even most of us already do. but why do we still ship them, i wonder? well, the answer to that my friend, is because we know joker loves harley too.

2. now, before you say, “OMG YOU’RE SO DELUSIONAL GET A LIFE FOR FUCK’S SAKE YOU SHOULD NOT SUPPORT ABUSIVE AND TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS.” my child, i know what their relationship is like. i’ve read the comics (and some of us probs hasn’t and has only watched Suicide Squad so they keep romanticizing this toxic relationship), but I DO KNOW IN FACT WHAT THE JOKER DOES: he hurts harley physically and emotionally, he throws her away to dogs like she’s just one of them, he even tries to kill her at times and he doesn’t care about her feelings.

3. I DO NOT IN ANY WAY SUPPORT THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP IN REAL LIFE. If you are experiencing this with someone you truly love and can’t let go of, you need help. Please get help or at least talk to me or someone else about this. Now, I know it’s hard. Because you’re afraid of what people would think of you, you’re ashamed of telling someone else that you fell in love with an abusive and demented person like this, but you need to save yourself. If you can’t do it for yourself, at least do it for the person you love. It’s for the sake of helping them, too.

4. but then you ask me, “WHY DO YOU SHIP THIS IF YOU DON’T ACTUALLY SUPPORT THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP?”, let us not forget harley and joker are fictional characters. shipping two fictional characters doesn’t mean you’re shipping them in real life. that doesn’t make any fucking sense? and child, if you think the fact that someone wants two FICTIONAL characters together means that they WORSHIP TOXIC AND ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, you’re clearly not mature enough to understand this. maybe you’re not even old enough to read comics or watch movies like this.

fiction: imaginary, fantasy, false, unreal, idealistic

reality: the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

Harley and Joker: fiction

Abusive & toxic relationships: real

Thing they have in common: they’re both bad

Thing they don’t have in common: fiction and reality.

Saying Suicide Squad made it okay for people to have toxic love is like saying this movie made it okay for people to kill their own families (ex: el diablo).

Stop being immature, it’s sad.

I hope I made that clear.

5. “JOKER DOESN’T LOVE HARLEY.”

This is the funniest because that’s a complete lie:

• the creators themselves said that The Joker has feelings for Harley but they’re not normal for him, so he feels scared and vulnerable, leading to him trying kill her.

proof: some part in the comics, joker sent harley to a rocket and explained to harley in a video about (exactly what the creators said). thus, he does have feelings for her but he just doesn’t want to have them.

• news flash, the joker’s insane. now, a crazy person does crazy things of-fucking-course. so instead of joker showing harley how much he loves her, he hurts her, just like he does to everyone else.

6. “Harley deserves so much better. Harley and Poison Ivy should be together.”

Okay, I don’t know a lot about PI and Harl but I do know a lot of people ship them and I can’t argue with that. I COMPLETELY RESPECT YOUR OPINIONS AND UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WANT WHAT’S BEST FOR HARLEY.

On the other haaaaand, are we Harley? No, we’re not. We can’t choose for her. She’s a fucking fictional character. The creators decide.

And as we’ve already seen, even when Harley has already been fucked by Deadshot, she still loved her Mistah J in the end even when he died. (I’m not gonna spoil more for those who haven’t read the comics yet.)

She loved him ‘til the very end. We can’t do anything about that. Even if Harley finds someone else who will treat her like the queen she really is, she’ll always have The Joker in her heart.

BECAUSE SHE’S FUCKING INSANE TOO.

7. No. Don’t force your ship on other else’s faces. No. Just no.

Do you see me going on Poison Ivy x Harley Quinn pages or Deadshot x Harley pages or Batman x Harley pages like:

MOTHERFUCKERS NO!!! HARLEY AND JOKER FOREVER!!! YOUR SHIP SUCKS!!! IT WILL NEVER SAIL!!!

Uhm, no. I DON’T do that. Why? Because it’s disrespectful. It’s immature. It’s sad. It’s just… NO.

You can’t force your opinions on other people. We have our own. We’re all different. This is the world we live in. Deal with it.

8. “DON’T SHIP THIS!”

Well, I do whatever the fuck I want. Bye.

In conclusion:

Think before you speak or type.

DO NOT force your ships on other people. If I did that to you, you’d get annoyed too, now, wouldn’t you? Maybe even more pissed than I actually am right now.

Shipping two fictional characters together doesn’t mean you ship everyone else in the real world who have the same type of relationship they have.

If you think the Suicide Squad movie made it okay for people to have unhealthy, abusive & toxic relationships to be fine and acceptable, you weren’t ready for this movie. You’re not mature enough. You do not understand what’s real from what’s not.

Hurting someone you love when you’re insane doesn’t make you love them any less. But it’s wrong. Seriously, you need to get help.

Don’t tell people to stop loving what they love. You can’t do that. If I told you to stop doing something you’re immensely passionate about, you’d say the exact same thing.

***

oh wait, i have something else to say…
there’s someone who told me to post about poison ivy and harley because they’re canon too as much as harley and joker are canon.

AND I JUST COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING AT HER STUPIDITY BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO A HARLEY&JOKER FAN BLOG?

It’s like telling someone who doesn’t necessarily hate horror movies, but is just not their thing, to watch horror movies.

Like ???

Please think before you say something.

anonymous asked:

what exactly is the crossover that nobody asked for but that you are personally offended doesn't exist (its gonna be good though everything by you is amazing)

Anonymous said: I read in your tags that you’re working on a crossover 👀👀 What’s it about? If you prefer to keep it a surprise no probs, I was just curious~

katanagatari + bleach crossover. shichika (katanagatari main character) is a swordless swordsman whose entire sword style revolves around the person themself being the sword. shichika dies and goes to soul society, and he is his own zanpakuto, effectively making him a self-wielding zanpakuto. 

some shinigami who shichika is suddenly fighting or whatever: your spiritual power… you must be a shinigami, then… where’s your sword? 
shichika, who has no idea what’s going on: ‘,:/ im the sword 
the shinigami: 
the shinigami: youre the sword
shichika: yeah im the sword 
the shinigami: you cant fight a sword wielder without a sword? are you stu-
shichika: [fucking clowns them]

and by ‘fucking clowns them’ i mean that shichika breaks their zanpakuto because his sword style has a LOT of sword breaking moves. he breaks swords. that’s what he DOES. which makes him a danger who needs to either be recruited or eliminated. 

i love the idea of shichika being a terror and a menace to anyone and everyone because he just. breaks so many fucking zanpakuto. they actually send a division to try and recruit him, or if not, to kill him, but shichika is just like “what? i dont know what you’re talking about. i’m pretty simple. whatever you’re saying is bouncing right off me” and breaks all their zanpakuto and leaves. 

another thing that i hope happens: 

kurotsuchi: i MUST get my hand on this intriguing specimen… 
shichika, who has no concept of soul society’s military structure, and even if he did, he wouldn’t care: kills him

then shichika just fucks off and does his own thing for a few hundred years. 

until the aizen arc comes along, at which point shichika sees orihime’s resolve and desire to protect… or something… the details here are a little bit fuzzy. but my point is that shichika sees orihime’s strength of character and it impresses him so he Picks her. she’s his wielder now 

orihime: um… i’m sorry… i don’t know who you are…? 
shichika: i’m the seventh head of the kotouryuu sword style, yasuri shichika. i’m going to help you kill aizen 
orihime: O-OH, UM… i don’t want to kill him! 
shichika: ok
orihime: …but i do want to defeat him so he can’t ever hurt my friends ever again… 
orihime: could you help me do that…?
shichika: uhhh yeah sure. is that a command
orihime: i don’t want to command you, shichika-san!
shichika: [frowns very hard, then shrugs and sits back] okay well i guess that’s command number one. i won’t kill aizen but i’ll do everything i can to help you defeat him 
orihime: it’s not a command!!! … um… but thank you for doing this…

thats the start 

Keep reading

420 Followers Special

the long awaited 420 followers special is here~
two things we
’d like to say first before anything else
first, from this follower special up to 666 followers special will be headcanons because we admins forgot keep track of our follower count and WE MISSED IT. so to catch up we
’ll be doing headcanons. sorry. 
second, you can and should now request for
 chirstmas specials since chirstmas is rolling around soon. 
also, we might so a shameless self-promo soon for our other scenario blog.
 


It was once again that time of day where everyone was finally free enough to log onto the chat room. You finally submitted all your final projects and the dreadful exam season has passed, now all that’s left is the even more dreadful waiting time for your results, but for now, you figured it was wise to give yourself a break. With your sleep deprived ass in tow, you logged into the chatroom wanting to tell everyone you’re free now so maybe you guys could hang. 

[you entered the chatroom]

you: helllooooooo

Jaehee Kang: Good evening. 

Jumin Han: It’s a beautiful evening. Tonight, Elizabeth the 3rd looks beautiful as well.

ZEN: -.- dude

you: I’m sleeeepy. I really need to sleep. I’ve only been getting five hours of sleep every night for the past two weeks. 

ZEN: That’s no good! You have to sleep properly or it’ll damage your skin!!

Jaehee Kang: I agree.

you: boooo. hypocrites. 

you: Anyways, I wanted to ask if you guys wanted to hang out sometime. I finished my exams and stuff and

you: I

you: AM

you: FREE

707: fffFREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

707: Hold on! I think someone is coming

ZEN: There’s no way someone’s going to log in just because you said so. 

[Yoosung★ has entered the chatroom]

Yoosung★: guuuuyssss qAq 

707: DENG DENG DENG

Yoosung★: i think i’m going to fail my exam

ZEN: OMG IT WORKED?

Yoosung★: what?

you: o shit whaddup

ZEN: you sound like Seven

Jumin Han: ?

Jumin Han: Is that a new greeting?

Jaehee Kang: Luciel, did you teach her that?

707: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

707: I didn’t know you memed (☞ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡°)

you: o shoot farewell

[you left the chatroom]

You logged out of the chatroom in panic. Yes, you’re a casual memer but you didn’t want to weird RFA out with your hobby so you kept your memes to yourself. Being sleep deprived made you kinda forget you were with RFA and your inner meme came bursting out. You threw yourself onto your bed and rolled around in frustration. 

Keep reading

GUESS YOU’RE MY EVERYTHING NOW: RvB Fluff Week Entry!

~Tucker is not prepared to serve bagels to asshole bureaucrats commuting to the city at three in the fucking morning. So before work, he pounds back a bottle of vodka.

Wash would like a bagel.~

ALRIGHT RENEE (@idontlikecoconut666​) I FINISHED YOUR STUPID “TUCKINGTON BAGEL AU” ARE YOU HAPPY

Words: 4,478

Characters: Agent Washington, Lavernius Tucker, Leonard Church, Agent Texas, Michael J. Caboose

Warnings: Canon-typical swearing, drinking, aftermath of trauma (sorry even when I’m being fluffy it’s still mean), gratuitous bagel puns

Ao3 link / @rvbficwars(ps im so sorry i haven’t had legit access to the internet all week and its grad week but i still wanted to do something)

GUESS YOU’RE MY EVERYTHING NOW

Five in the morning. Who the fuck schedules a military hearing for five in the fucking morning on a Tuesday?

Wash adjusts his uniform in the bathroom mirror for the millionth time, suppressing the agonized screech he’s been holding in for hours. It’s stiff. Too formal, suffocating, all the tassels and the badges. If he could just exchange it for a suit, or a button-up shirt, literally anything that didn’t make him feel as trapped as he already is, he might be feeling better about this.

But this is a military thing, and because it’s military, they want him to testify as the soldier he used to be. Not the agent he became. Which means a uniform—the stiff, dull, cloth kind.

Fuck. He doesn’t want to do this. Doesn’t want to stand before a bunch of military assholes for hours and let them dissect every second he spent with the project. Doesn’t want to sit on a train into the city in full uniform while civilians stare at him and wonder what kind of mess he’s gotten himself into. They wouldn’t be wrong to wonder.

Stalling for time, he sighs and combs his hands through his hair yet again—and as he does, his fingers brush ever so slightly over the scar at the nape of his neck and he freezes.

His hands fall to his sides. All he wants to do is get back in bed with his cats, lock every door in the apartment, and never leave. Maybe even scream into a pillow after cracking open a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. That’s his usual Tuesday night. But that scar reminds him why he’s doing this.

This is why he agreed to testify. So what happened to him doesn’t have to happen to anyone else ever again.

Wash sighs and turns off the bathroom lights, heading for the door. He’s going to miss his train.

He doesn’t feel that drunk.

Still, Tucker gets the gist that he’s fucking wasted when he hits Church’s car in the parking lot.

A part of him thinks that maybe he should back up and try again. But his foot isn’t part of that part, and it presses down the gas and eases into the parking spot next to Church’s now-beat-up jeep like nothing happened.

He can’t really pin down his mood as he gets out of his equally beat-up sedan and slams the door shut. Drunk, sure, but that’s not a mood, that’s a lifestyle decision. He thinks the right word is annoyed. Annoyed at being assigned to the graveyard shift when his son is supposed to be starting kindergarten in the morning. Annoyed that, because of work and that stupid thing called rent, he’s not gonna get to see his kid off to his first day of school. He’d dropped Junior off at Kai’s place last night, just in case this happened, which of course it did. He’s entitled to a responsible adult night alone and a bottle of rage vodka every once in a while.

He’s also a little giddy, which he can easily attribute to being drunk off his ass at two in the morning.

Tucker fumbles for his keys and drops them twice before finally getting the front door open. The Pastry Train Donut and Bagel Emporium is dark in the dining area, which is bad, because it means that Church expects him to turn everything on.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Where are the lights again? He hasn’t had the opening shift in months.

Once he remembers, he slowly maneuvers towards the power and flips all the switches, letting out a groan as everything turns on, all the lights, all the fridges in the front, all the really fucking bright things. Ow.

“It’s about time you got here,” Church says, emerging like the social gremlin he is from the bakery in the back. He’s got dough and flour all over his apron—at least he already got the first batch of bagels in. Church raises an eyebrow. “I, uh, heard some noise in the parking lot.”

Tucker rubs at his eyes. “Oh. I, uh, I hit…a…tree.”

“…Big tree. Loud tree.”

He just looks at Church confusedly for a second before, like a switch being flipped, he can suddenly hear the screaming wail of a car alarm outside. He can’t be that drunk, how did he not fucking notice that?

Church pulls his keys out of his pocket and presses the lock button, and the car outside makes the little chirp chirp and goes silent. “Apparently I drive a ‘98 Redwood.”

“…No, yeah, my car’s fine, don’t worry,” Tucker says. He thinks he says it coolly but in reality he just slurs it together like it’s all one word.

Church just stares.

And stares.

And stares—

“You’re wasted, aren’t you.”

Tucker takes a step back and puts a hand on his heart, feigning offense. “Me? No, no, you…nah, I’m sober.”

“Right, of course.” The sarcasm in his voice is burning. “That’s the smell coming off of you, it’s definitely sobriety.”

“Fuck you—”

“We open up for commuters in ten. You good to handle a register?”

They’re kind of just staring at each other for a few seconds.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, totally. I’m totally cool. Exact change? No problem. Each plain bagel’s a dollar.”

“Ninety-five cents.”

“Right, that’s, like, the poor man’s dollar. No prob.”

Church rolls his eyes and retreats to the bakery again. If Tucker squints hard enough, he can see Tex and Caboose handling the crates of groceries in the back like the fucking lifting machines they are. This is it? Usually he works later in the morning, when there’s a herd of hungry commuters and soccer moms buying breakfast for their kids and stuff. Then the whole team is in here, and it’s alive, and it’s honestly not that miserable. But this? This is kinda sad. Just an empty bagel shop by the train station at two in the morning. Sad.

Tucker sighs and throws his bag and coat in the storage closet, then somehow hops the counter without tripping, ignoring Church’s shout of hey maybe don’t fucking do that, dipshit, and after a couple tries manages to tie his apron on.

He glances up at the clock. 2:02.

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

He got weird looks from the cab driver. Of course he did. He’s wearing a full military uniform, cap and all, and he’s taking a yellow cab to the train station. What was he expecting?

Wash tips the guy extra and gets out of that cab as fast as his legs can take him. Probably feeling just as anxious, the cab driver speeds away down a side street, and just like that Wash is at the train station.

…What now?

His heart sinks as he checks his watch. 2:05. He’s early. Way too early, it’s a ghost town.

Wash sighs to himself and puts his cap into his side bag a little more forcefully than necessary. He’s taken the train exactly twice before—once for the preliminary hearing last week, and once to get back. He hated it both ways, the noise, the tight spaces. And even those didn’t leave at 3:03 in the morning on a Tuesday. 

Now he’s stranded here, waiting for that misery, for an hour.

There’s a bench not far away, and he’s still half asleep, so he walks towards it and takes a tired seat. God, he’s so tired. Hopefully he doesn’t fall asleep while being grilled alive during the hearing. That wouldn’t be good. Coffee, now that would be a lifesaver. Coffee with a couple pounds of sugar.

He looks around the station. It’s a fairly big town, and the station reflects that. Rows and rows of parking spots behind him, dozens of tracks in front of him, too many staircases and a bunch of closed stores and one really brightly lit place, gosh, and—

Wash does a double-take and looks back at the store that had caught his attention. That’s a bagel shop. An open bagel shop. Do those usually open this early?

His stomach grumbles, but he ignores it, purely because he’s riveted by the possibility of anything being open this fucking early in the morning. It’s literally the only source of light in the entire station right now. Even the moon pales in comparison.

He stares a little longer at the sign above the store. Pastry Train. The Pastry Train Donut and Bagel Emporium. The words are written in bright swirling blue on a white banner, which has been draped over the store’s awning, and on top of the shop is a statue of a big strawberry-frosted donut with an absurd amount of sprinkles that almost makes him smile.

The second time his stomach grumbles, he listens to it. He’s hungry. There’s a store right there. Food. Something to give him energy for as long as it takes for this thing to be over since it’s pretty obvious that he’s not gonna get another chance to eat until after the hearing.

He’s about to stand and go in there when he hears a loud crash from inside the building—and in the window he can see two people yelling over something, he can’t tell what, and just the idea of having to talk to people once inside suddenly keeps him firmly glued to the seat. He’s not very good at talking to people anymore. Before the project, maybe, but now

Nope. The thought of social interaction flashes red in his mind like a giant stop sign. Nope. No. No bagel is worth it.

…Except he’s really hungry. Almost nauseously so. And the more he stares at that ridiculously elaborate sign, the more he reads the words Pastry Train, the more he wants that bagel.

Nope. Nuh-uh.

Food.

No way.

Food.

Maybe they have coffee?

…Well, that kind of makes his decision for him. Coffee and a bagel. Perfect. It’s a combination just asking to be made.

Shouldn’t be hard, right? He survived Freelancer. He can survive getting a bagel.

Tucker doesn’t know how much longer he can survive and he’s been here eight minutes. Of course, he’s not quite lucid enough to keep track of that on his own. He only knows it’s been eight minutes because of the fact that, once every minute, Tex pokes her stupid blonde head out of the bakery to remind Tucker of how useless he is. She also reminds him of how long he’s been standing there, staring at the stove for no reason other than it looks shiny. Eight minutes.

But you know what? Tucker’s got who-knows-how-much vodka swimming around in his system right now, so he figures it’s better to be useless and staring off into space than handling money or making food that actual humans consume.

Tex pokes her head out and this time Tucker beats her to the punch. “Nine, I’m worthless, a bad father, drinking before the job is the same thing as drinking on it. Got it.”

“No—well, yeah, but…no. There’s a customer coming in.”

Tucker had been idly rolling a stack of pennies across the counter this entire time, but at the sound of a door opening he gets distracted and accidentally rolls it a little too hard and the stack flies off the counter towards the front of the store.

He lunges for the pennies a split second too late, and right as he does, the customer comes walking through the door and as if every existing god has decided to fuck with Tucker at the exact same time the stack rolls perfectly under the guy’s boot and there’s a sort of mild confusion in his eyes for an instant before he slips and falls backwards and bangs his head against one of the fridges. 

A sharp “Fuckslips from Tucker’s lips before he can catch it.

Tex pokes her head out of the kitchen one more time, looks at the customer, looks at Tucker, and goes back in. “Your mess.“

Shit. Shit shit. This is exactly why he shouldn’t be working at 2:09 in the morning. 

“Oh, man…” The customer moans and puts a hand to the back of his head, and some paternal-instinct-filled part of Tucker realizes that he should probably go check on him and make sure he didn’t actually get, y'know, hurt in any suable way or anything.

This time he ducks under the counter and approaches the customer, who’s looking less dazed now and way more embarrassed. His face, which Tucker thinks had been fairly pale for the split second in which the customer had been standing, is now a very vibrant shade of red, and it’s only making the splash of dark freckles over his nose more prominent, and his bright eyes even brighter and oh wow he’s actually pretty cute the longer Tucker looks at him—

The second that thought is even so much as a suggestion in his mind, Tucker is fucked. Irrevocably and utterly fucked. Once he sees it, he can’t avoid it, can’t look at the guy without acknowledging the fact that he is absolutely fucking adorable.

Having suddenly realized this, and being far too drunk to squash the sentiment down under some guise of professionalism, Tucker is instantly hyper-aware of how unable he is to form a complex sentence. “H-hey, uhhhhh…you, you okay?”

If possible, the customer looks more embarrassed, and he looks up at Tucker with what can only be described as pure shame in his eyes. That look lasts a few seconds before the guy starts to sit up, rubbing the back of his head again with a hiss of pain. “I…what just happened?”

I fucked up. “You, uh, you tripped. Totally. All you.”

That gets him a mild glare from the customer. “Did I?” the customer says in a voice that somehow manages to passively just bleed sarcasm while also sounding fucking dead inside.

I FUCKED UP. “Yep. It was pretty, uh, pretty weak.”

“…Really.”

“Uhhhhhh, totally, yeah. Tripping in a bagel store? Yeah, we—“ 

Tucker hears the pun as it forms in his mind, knows that it’s happening, but for the life of him he doesn’t know how to stop it and all he can think about is bagels and it just slips out.

“—ll, I guess you just weren’t bready for it.”

Tucker can instantly feel his face going hot, and the silence that follows might as well just be filled with Tucker’s internal screaming. What are these words coming out of his stupid fucking mouth? This is not how helping goes. This is not how flirting goes—is he trying to flirt? Is that what this ridiculous drunken pun bullshit is? Because right now, this is how you get a trainwreck, and so far, Tucker would really appreciate a train wrecking him.

The customer looks up at him with an expression that can’t really be described as just dismay. Dismay isn’t strong enough to describe the utter agony in his eyes. His mouth opens and closes a couple times, like every time he’s thought of something to say back, he instantly decides against it.

This is a fucking nightmare.

The customer is silent for a few more seconds, then looks in anguish towards the door like it’s screaming his name. “I-I should go. This was a mistake, I should’ve just waited outsi—“

No!” Tucker blurts out, and the guy looks back at him, perplexed, and gosh, that’s cute. Fuck. Tucker tries again. “No, I-I mean, you came in for a bagel, right?”

It’s almost painful to watch the struggle going on in the customer’s mind as he decides if it’s worth it to reply.

“…And coffee,” he finally mutters.

“Right. Well, we…” Do they have coffee? Tucker thinks they’ve got coffee. Gahh, too much thinking for the morning. Fuck it. “Totally, dude. We totally have coffee.”

The customer’s expression loosens up noticeably, which Tucker takes as a sign. Of what, he’s not sure—he just knows that the guy is apparently more relaxed and that that’s better than if he’s not.

“I…” The customer sighs. “Sure. Why not.”

There’s silence for a moment, and on some weird instinct Tucker reaches out for the customer’s hand and the customer takes his and Tucker somehow manages to pull the guy to his feet without both of them falling over each other.

The customer smooths down his uniform, which somehow, Tucker hadn’t noticed before. That’s UNSC. That’s military. He just embarrassed himself in front of someone who can probably shoot him if he felt like it. What’s a military guy doing here this early—what’s a military guy even doing in this town? This sleepy little hell seems like the wrong place to find a guy like him.

“Um.” The customer coughs into a fist uncomfortably, managing to bring Tucker back to the present. “You also said something about a bagel?”

Oh, right. That.

This is going well.

So this is going badly.

Wash’s head swims, but he’s not sure if it’s the headache or the embarrassment tearing through his insides. The exit door is a black hole, and every few seconds, Wash has to check it to make sure it’s still there, ready to suck him in the abyss in case he decides to end his misery once and for all.

At least Wash is off his ass and on his feet. Better than nothing. Easier to run that way.

The clerk, the guy with the awful, awful pun, turns around and—for some reason Wash can’t even begin to understand—attempts to jump the counter into the back of the kitchen, but he doesn’t quite make it and he ends up half-stumbling his way over the counter and almost faceplanting on the floor before catching himself.

Almost immediately, there’s a shout from the back of the kitchen. “Tucker, I fucking told you that was going to happe—”

“Eat a dick,” the clerk spits back. 

As if suddenly aware of Wash’s eyes on him, the clerk—Tucker—makes a show of straightening up and leaning forward over the counter. “What?” he says, and the way he says it, it almost sounds like it’s meant to be sharp, but it comes out tired and slurred and like he’s not really all there.

“You, uh…” Let it go, Wash, let it go. “Nothing.”

Tucker gives him a very suspicious look. “Okay,” he says, not at all sounding okay.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

There’s a really awkward silence again. Wash looks back at the door and waits patiently for a black hole to swallow him like he’d planned.

“Right,” Tucker says suddenly, whirling around back towards the kitchen. "Bagel. Hey, Church, uh, what’s the status on bagels?“

The same voice from before yells back, “Ten minutes.”

Oh, god. Ten minutes? Waiting here?

Tucker rolls his eyes, but at the same time his mouth pulls into a tight line and Wash immediately knows that it’s as awkward for Tucker as it is for him. At least that’s one thing they have in common.

Wash clears his throat awkwardly and shifts his bag on his shoulder, checking his watch. 2:11. Why can’t time just move faster?

He looks up and Tucker is staring at him, eyes narrow and confused. 

“So,” Tucker says, painfully awkward, drumming his fingers on the counter in an arrhythmic beat. “What’s with the suit?”

Alarms immediately go off in Wash’s head. Fuck. The whole Project Freelancer hearing is meant to be classified, but he hadn’t thought of a cover story before leaving the house in case people asked him about the uniform. And Wash is a very, very bad liar.

“I, uhhh—” Wash immediately blurts out the first army-esque thing he can think of. “Court martial.”

If possible, Tucker’s eyes get even narrower. “But isn’t that, like, criminal, or…or something?”

Yikes. This is uncomfortable. “W-well, yeah, but—”

“You a criminal? A bad dude?”

“No, I—”

Tucker scoffs. “Dude, I’m totally messing with ya. You, the guy who fell flat on his ass through no fault of my own, a bad guy? Doesn’t seed like it.”

Wash sighs tightly, thinking about the irony of what this guy’s just said to him— when his mind replays the sentence a second time and Wash hears it.

Wash looks sharply at Tucker, who’s just standing there, eyes wide open, mouth slightly agape, staring back. His face is turning red, bright and embarrassed like before—he knows.

“You did it again.”

Tucker looks broken. He knows.

There’s a raw agony in Wash voice when he repeats, “Doesn’t seed like it. You said seed—”

“I-I—fuck, it’s not like I meant to say it!” Tucker stammers back.

“Then why did you?!”

“I don’t know, okay?! It’s two in the fucking morning, sue me!”

Puns. Christ, Wash can’t fucking stand puns. They’re not even jokes, you’re just putting another stupid fucking word in the wrong fucking place and it’s not funny. He’d rather step in front of a moving train than hear another.

…Though. To be honest, Tucker looks like he feels the same way.

There’s complete and utter silence between the two of them as Tucker reaches for a coffee cup and forcefully holds it out for Wash. He motions over Wash’s shoulder at another counter, and Wash follows the gesture to see a couple containers of what he can only assume are coffee.

Oh, thank god.

Wash takes it without a word and moves over to the counter, avoiding the decaf one like the plague. He doesn’t look at Tucker, doesn’t even look up, just fills the cup with black coffee and then empties six sugar packs in, one by one.

Tucker makes a strange noise as Wash opens packet number seven. “Wow. That’s, uh, a lot of sugar. That for the court martial?”

Wash nods silently.

“Ah. Sweet.”

Wash’s hand slips and half the packet of sugar upends on the counter.

Again. Fucking again. First bread, then seeds, now sugar. Tucker has already ruined all three.

He checks his watch again. 2:15.

Let it go, Wash. Let. It. Go.

He swallows the shriek that’s currently developing in his throat and jams the lid of the coffee cup into place, sighing heavily, and goes back to his spot across from Tucker. Tucker, yet again, looks like he also would like to be anywhere that isn’t here. Good to know they’re in the same mental place.

“How much do I owe you?” Wash says, more of a groan than actual English. 

Tucker sighs and runs a hand over his face, glancing at the register. “I…fuck, man, nothing, just take the food. I’m sorry, I’m a piece of shit. Fuck.”

Oh. Well, that does make this marginally less horrible. Free breakfast. Well, not really free. Wash pays with his dignity.

Great.

Tucker sighs and leans back against the stove behind him, and Wash pulls out his phone, pressing the power button over and over, just to have something to do.

The minutes pass. One after another, after another. He doesn’t touch the coffee yet—too hot.

“What do you want?”

“Huh?” Wash says.

“Bagel. What bagel.”

“Oh. Oh, just plain.”

“…What, nothing on it?”

Nope. That means spending more time here. “Just plain.”

“That’s, uh, kinda—”

“Yeah, it’s plain, I got it,” Wash snaps. “It is a PLAIN bagel, and I am a PLAIN guy, and that’s the pun.”

There’s quiet for half a second before Tucker lets out a weird snort-laugh thing and suddenly he’s cackling, and Wash is just staring at him and the other people in the kitchen are staring at him and Tucker is just laughing ridiculously and for the life of him Wash doesn’t know why.

“…What. What?!” Wash half-stammers, half-snaps.

Tucker somehow manages to choke out words between gasps of laughter. “You—I just keep, I keep—making shitty puns and I-I can’t stop, but it’s bothering you so much, you look so good w-when you’re annoyed—”

Wash feels the blood rush to his head for a million different reasons. “I-I do not.”

He immediately knows that’s a mistake when a mischievous glint flashes in Tucker’s eyes. “Oh, really? You sure I-I’m not annoying you?”

“…I’m fine.”

“You sure I’m not getting on your nerves?”

“Yes—”

“I-I donut think you’re being honest with me, buddy.”

Oh my god.

“Please,” Wash starts, “don't—”

“What? Are my puns too plain for you?”

OH MY GOD.

Tucker must find this hysterical, because he’s still laughing, as Wash’s face continuously gets redder and redder. “You’d butter hope I donut keep going, because so far I haven’t even been using the pickup lines.”

OH MY FUCKING GOD. 

Wash attempts to feign ignorance and takes a hearty swig of the coffee. Still too hot. Better than this, though, better than all of this.

“I could use some coffee jokes too, maybe embarrass you a little, but I wanna try and keep it to a light roast. Listen, baby, you may be plain, but I’ll be your everything. You make my heart whole. You fill the hole inside my bagel, bow chicka wow wow. You’re adorable, can’t you seed? You’re my jam, though I guess, not everyone puts jam on bagels so that might not be your cup of tea. Ooh, ooh and this one! When I look at you, you make me wanna cinnamon—”

Wash snorts—he can’t fucking help it at that last one—but he does it so hard that he ends up accidentally choking on the coffee in his mouth and he breaks into a coughing fit. Tucker’s still laughing, but after Wash finally stops coughing, he settles to a giddy smile, like he’s trying to hold in all the laughter.

“So you do laugh,” Tucker says, in an awfully teasing way, leaning forward on the counter. “Of all the puns, I can’t believe the cinnamon one was what got you.”

One of the people from the kitchen comes out and places a small brown bag on the counter, and Wash lunges for it immediately and starts for the door. Oh, god. Oh, god, what the fuck just happened. What the fuck just happened. He can feel himself sweating, and not just because of the uniform, but from the crippling embarrassment flooding his veins. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

You make me wanna cinnamon. Cinnamon. Sin. Oh my god, what the fuck is going on. Was that an actual pickup line?? Was that just a joke?? Why why why why oh my god oh my god he needs to get out of here oh my god oh my god oh my god—

Wash pushes the door open, but he’s barely looked outside when he hears Tucker behind him.

“Hey, uh, so if you end up, y'know, wanting another bagel or something when you get back from whatever the fuck you’re doing, I’ll be a round. A round. Like a bagel. Get it?”

Wash slams the door.

gdesertsand  asked:

• Lovino and Antonio only know each other as fanfiction writers and not in real life. They were friends as writers but strangers in reality. So how things will go if one day Antonio catch a glimpse of what his favorite customer (he is a waiter in a café) writing about and it turns out it is the new chapter of his friend’s ongoing story? (Thank you again!)

This is essentially a text-fic! I didn’t know they could be so hard to write, but they are, man. With all that formatting. *Shudder*. But it was still fun and I’ve been meaning to write a text fic for AGES. 

tomato-turtles: Antonio
lovirage: Lovino
actual-prussian-badass: Gilbert
fancy-fucking-francis: Francis
actualsunshine: Feliciano

EDIT: I forgot to add, for the sake of this fic, let’s assume the two are writers in the Harry Potter fandom, mostly because Harry Potter is a well-known universe and it won’t confuse anyone. Also, let’s assume that they’re both Remus/Sirius shippers, because that pairing is cool. 


Antonio always dropped in his customary ‘good morning’ in the Tumblr chat. Lovi used to get super annoyed initially, but now he just played along. Antonio suspected Lovi looked forward to his good mornings. 

tomato-turtles: hi lovi!! how are ya

lovirage: hey tt. 

He always called Antonio ‘tt’, short for Tomato Turtles: his name on AO3, fanfiction.net, and of course, Tumblr. 

tomato-turtles: i reread your new chapter after you told me you were worried about it
tomato-turtles: and it’s so cute!! really youre such a good writer <3 

lovirage: thanks. 

tomato-turtles: why were you so worried about it anyway

lovirage: i got a fucking flame comment saying i needed to get hit by a bus and stop writing 

tomato-turtles: WHAT NO 
tomato-turtles: WHO IS THIS 
tomato-turtles: I WILL FIND THEM AND HURT THEM

lovirage: relax tt. i don’t really care, i deleted the review
lovirage:
but it still made me worried that maybe the new update for my fic sucked

tomato-turtles: IT DOES NOT. IT’S SO CUTE

lovirage: good to know
lovirage: hows your morning going
 

tomato-turtles: mmh the same really. getting ready for work
tomato-turtles: im putting in a couple of extra hours this week because i want to go on a roadtrip with gil and francis over the weekend

lovirage: these friends of yours, they seem crazy. theyre the same ones that got drunk and spray painted moustaches onto every fashion hoarding they could reach?                                                                                                           

tomato-turtles: they never got caught for that lol
tomato-turtles: what are you gonna be doing today? 

lovirage: idk it’s a saturday so i’ll probably just sleep some more
lovirage: maybe write the new update

tomato-turtles: A NEW UPDATE ALREADY? YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!

lovirage: calm down tt 
lovirage: i’m just keen to add a plot twist

tomato-turtles: oh god no

lovirage: what?

tomato-turtles: your “plot twists” always involve someone dying 

lovirage: that is not true

tomato-turtles: IN YOUR FIC “EVER AFTER” YOU BASICALLY GAVE SIRIUS CANCER 

 lovirage: BUT I CURED HIM

tomato-turtles: YES BUT YOU MADE HIM SUFFER. AND YOU MADE ME SUFFER

lovirage: *sends gif with evil laugh*
lovirage: …and my cute fic is going to become…dark

tomato-turtles: ughhhhh i hate you

lovirage: really now? 

tomato-turtles: ok no i love you tbh but like
tomato-turtles: can you let my children live in peace

lovirage: HELLO EXCUSE ME, but YOU wrote that fic “SPEAKING OF SUNFLOWERS” and you fucking tortured remus with crucio until he lost his mind and I was screaming and crying 
lovirage: CONSIDER THIS REVENGE

tomato-turtles: we write such dark fics
tomato-turtles: we should collab on something funny!! fluffy!! 

lovirage: good idea. maybe soon

tomato-turtles: anyway i gotta go to work! bye lovi have a nice day :D <3

lovirage: bye tt 


Keep reading

a saeran hc post

i know there’s a ton of these out there and this is SO LONG im sorry i dont know how to shut up lol, i want to update my fics but im in the home stretch of getting through this week of classes before i go on break ;;;; so uh, have this post of some kind of general hc’s and some thoughts on how saeran feels about each of the members of the rfa + some vanderwood

spoilers of course, also mentions of smoking and vague notions at abuse and stuff, also this is just super long and ridiculous and im sorry aha

Keep reading

prompt fill for that one cute hospital prompt that anon send

James had known he was gonna end up falling down the stairs the moment he’d seen them when he and Brett were apartment hunting.

“You’ll be fine,” Brett had said, hands on his hips and a proud smile on his stupid fucking face. The place was cheap, close to the office, and allowed pets. The only downside was that it was on the second floor and the stairs were old - crumbly, steep, and iced over in the winter.

They’d rented the damn thing, James needed to save money and Brett wanted to be close, and James had dealt with the stupid fucking stairs - until a swift October wind and an icy storm the night before had landed him exactly where he was now.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! Can you please do RFA+V and Saeran have to handle very drunk MC in public?

sureeee, hun! <3 


jumin

-calls driver kim straight away

-it’s super hard to keep you in check in the time till he arrives tho

-he’s just trying to distract you by hugging you and keeping your focus on him

-that doesen’t stop you from singing loudly tho,  cant help but let out a small chuckle

-will try and talk sense into you like

-“mc, my love, please be quiet, you can sing all you want when we get home”

-sweet jesus jumin, shes drunk she aint gonna listen

-when you fall asleep on his shoulder on the way home he’s just awestruck, aww his lil babe

-carries you to bed and tucks you in, makes sure that theres water on the bedtable, as well as a bucket on the floor just to be sure


zen

-okay he’d probably be just as hammered tho, singing loudly with you, and complaining just as loudly, whenever you playfully run from him trying to hug you

-he’d still be so so protective tho, drunk or not, preferable wants to have you right by his side, so he can be sure no one touches you without your consent

-calls a cab, and will be trying to make you stop jumping him in the god damn car, not that he doesent like the affection but 1. youre drunk and 2. its a frikin cab mc!

-has the best hangover cures, like this boi rarely gets hangovers, so he’ll be serving you breakfast in bed.


yoosung

-…..if this boi even takes a sip of your drink he’s out cold

-so he stays away fron drinking when you’re out together

-will try to act super protective and ‘manly’, but he also thinks your behaviour is really funny

-he’d probably end up calling seven to pick both of you up, because you were making a ruckus

-really loves how affectione you get, at the same time, he cant help but be super flustered about it.

-the other good thing is your small adorable hics.


jaehee

-mom mode^tm

-sends evil glares to anyone who looks at you just a tiny bit “wrong”

-is super flustered at your affectionaete and loud behaviour, and is desperately trying to shush you

-she’s multitasking trying to keep both you and zen in check

-eventually has to give up on zen tho, as you’re not feeling well

-will bring you loots of water to sober you up, and lots of salty chips as well


707

-…..that person who’s like “don´t worry babe i wont let you do anything stupid”

-but as soon as you step on stage to “ sing” karaoke, he’s got his phone ready

-obviously wont let you do anything that could bring you in danger, but as long as its all fun and gimicks, he’s going to record every single bit of it

-is lovestruck af, and almost tears up everytime you let out a loud laugh, your laugh is like music to his ears

-got cola and chips ready for your hangover and will gladly stay in bed with you all day, watching crappy kids movies


v

-has no idea how to handle it tbh

-is just trying to follow behind you, to make sure you dont trip or yell at strangers

-will probs end up asking jumin to call his driver to take both of you home

-will patiently listen to you ramble on about silly stuff, until you fall asleep


saeran

-????oh no???

-as soon as you start being loud he’ll place his hands over your mouth, bc this boi hates attention

-honestly probably just drags you home straight away

-he’s super okay with you being loud and singing at home, bc there’s not anyone else around

anon:answer - part1

Anon ask : please do theories from jongin’s perspective ;_;

Eyy there anon-nie, sorry for the very delayed reply (actually I had written my answer earlier, but my tumblr inbox crashed /cry blood/ bc apparently my gifs+nonsensewords game is too strong)

your eyes, prepare them *dundundun*

ADDED: SORRY, I have posted it earlier/yesterday but shit happened (the gifs/picts missing mannnn) and then I had to delete it /le cry blood again/ since im such a tumblr noob

[As always, this is how I perceive things* (*things = dem kaisoo moments), I am not a professional nor qualified nor certificated nor expert of “body language and all that jazz”. i do not know these boys personally, everything is based on things* I have found/seen on internet cuz I have no life, this prob will be weird and deluded af]

Note #1: even tho this is “from jongin’s perspective” my words are written NOT on the behalf of jongin nor kyungsoo. I don’t and never will claim to speak on the behalf of either of them. This is from deluded 3rd person/outsider/stranger’s point of view.

Note #2: I am a trash and I have no shame to remind it to y’all. So if u think shipping is annoying, kaisoo is annoying, kaisoo shipper is annoying and fking deluded and loud cuz they cant control their feels and apparently they are at fault too bc many people appreciate their works (such as fanfics and fanarts etc) –

tbh how can that even be their fault? Like u mad cuz other ppl get compliments, like honestly? r u for real? Like fuck logic, yeah? And you are angry cuz we are loud here in tumblr? Loud about kaisoo on kaisoo tag? Like what? I mean what? Just… I don’t understand? I thought we r all liberals here man. I don’t know that our freedom of speech is limited here on tumblr? Then where should we speak out loud then? where should we spazz and vent out our feelings then? on the street? Yelling like an actual crazy person? I thought dictatorial communism isn’t part of internet but I guess I am wrong, of course we have to follow you oh the mighty and glorious majesty, the ruler of the internet, of course we shall seal our lips, or more like tie our fingers, to stop us worshipping our holy ship. Of course.

– anyway, if you are one of those people, skip this post. Don’t ever look at it. Forget it exists. you can leave me a hate mail and I wouldn’t care – please be creative if you do though ahaha no.

Note #3: since I feel this topic has a really wide range (since there are so many things that had happened on this ship to be discussed), so im gonna separate this answer into parts (the reason is bc I don’t want to risk any thing again since this is my 2nd attempt already and if this thing becomes too long again and then shit happens, like crashed or the image wouldn’t load bc of my noob-ish-ness, at least it wont take such amount of time for me to re-do it…),

anyway, this [PART1] will contain: jongin’s “don’t want to eat with that hyung” moment that turned into “become the closest the fastest”, to how he smiles at soo, looking, touching, ‘cute&love’ associated w/ ksoo

again im crazy dont listen to me /hurr-durr/ 

Now lets get this started; just like with soo before, Im gonna start with “I don’t want to eat with that hyung”

He looked so guilty when yeol mentioned and then yeol mentioned they [kaisoo] became the closest in exo. Im gonna be honest here, I don’t have any conspiracy theory/delulu shit to say opinion on jongin’s part/action, since this event of misunderstanding was occurred bc of ksoo’s action and I think I have explained it enough in my first post about the reason that I believe why ksoo couldn’t look at jongin

still im gonna remind y’all why I take astigmatism as such a bullshit reason, bc:

1. no other members had complained about this “he didn’t want to look at me” about soo, it’s only kai, and as far as I know the only thing that lil bit similar to this was; (in some translation notes) lay said that “i thought d.o was cold but turn out he isn’t, he is friendly” ((?) not exact words but basically that was what he said, btw this is from magazine interview, I don’t remember what magazine),

yet (IMHO) this feels very far different with jongin’s “don’t want to eat w/ that hyung”, bc even tho lay thought ksoo was cold it didn’t have that much impact on him, lay only said this as his first impression (bc he said “I thought…”, meaning that he only felt like that, right?) and he didn’t push it any further, unlike jongin who seemed to take it – ksoo’s attitude – seriously (proven by him didn’t want to eat with ksoo)… well of course I mean jongin did say ksoo didn’t want to look at him (so it makes sense?) and unlike in lay’s case, “he felt/thought [ksoo was a cold]”, in jongin’s case “he experienced it [soo didn’t want to look at him]”, do u get what am I saying? can you already feel my delulu radiates from your screen? Hm?

2. Now let’s “pretend” that astigmatism was the real reason ksoo couldn’t look at jongin. then why only jongin? I suspect ksoo must have avoided jongin(‘s eyes) often in their early/first encounters, bc it left such a deep impression (that made jongin didn’t want to go out together w/ him), if it was only one or two times ksoo didn’t look at jongin when they were talking….

(why I assume “when they were talking” while the gif[‘s sub] only said “he wouldn’t look at me”? bc jongin knew soo didn’t look at him, meaning he looked at soo while soo doing this [avoiding his eyes/face], then why he looked at soo when soo did this? why he found soo’s action was rude? at that time they just barely met, if soo was idle or busy doing his own things, ofc jongin wouldn’t find it rude for soo not look at him. thus it makes sense to conclude that soo didn’t look at jongin when they were talking),

…then jongin wouldn’t have such an impression about soo (bc if its just once or twice, you wouldn’t think about it right? You prob wouldn’t make a big a deal about something that happened for once or twice that involves someone you just met, but jongin had such impression about soo, meaning this had happened quite a lot/in repetitive pattern for him to notice and took it inside his heart/mind).

I’m not that knowledgeable about astigmatism but what I know is this eyes condition mainly causing your vision to be distorted and blurred, so based on these two major symptoms, (imo) it doesn’t make sense that astigmatism caused soo couldn’t look at jongin’s properly while they were talking…. (if jongin said “ksoo stared at me a lot when we’re talking” or “ksoo often squinted his eyes when he talked to me” etc etc… then it would match [more fit/appropriate] with ksoo’s eyes condition, instead of “he [ksoo] didn’t want to look at me. i thought he was in bad mood…” being paired with “bc ksoo has astigmatism”, imo it doesn’t fit at all….but prob just me idk IM A TRASH OKAY, A BIASED TRASH, don’t listen to me)

And after this “didn’t want to eat w/ that hyung” incident happened and solved they became the closest. I cant make any speculation/delulu theory about how they made up, bc until this day there is no interview about it nor any other members *coughchanyeolcoughcough* blabber about it, so I assume that how the way they solved this misunderstanding is only exclusive for them to know (perhaps someone outside exo knows or maybe other members know, but like I have said before that maybe there is some sort of unspoken rules for certain things between other members…)

I suspect that this misunderstanding was solved w/ jongin as the initiator bc i had mentioned jongin is a blunt person (as it had been said by some members in a radio interview)  even tho he is quite reserved like ksoo in my prev post, 

so MAYBE he asked soo why soo avoiding to look at him or MAYBE this thing was resolved bc they were being paired in the same room in the dorm and sooner or later soo had to look at jongin (soo couldn’t avoid him forever) and then bam they became closer; prob bc they have same interests? Like movie, anime/cartoon; pororo, prince of tennis, one piece: [jongin’s phone stickers, soo imitated franky on the stage when exo in japan], jongin’s ‘crayon/pencil shincan’ sticker on his phone case… (I sound so creepy rn… don’t judge me mmkay, I gained this information once upon a time when I was browsing tumblr at 2 AM. my brain decided to burn this info inside my memory…) MAYBE is the key-word cuz I don’t know shit okay, im deluded af

I mean MAYBE, I am all wrong here, maybe all the things i have written are bunch of crazy bullshit, maybe we are all wrong here, and need to visit the asylum for seeing things, bc they could be just a pair of mere co-workers, nothing beyond that, it could be just how S.Korean men do skinship to show the over-flowing cares and attentions they have to each other inside their beautiful, blooming and wonderful friendship. what do I know anyway I’m just an uncultured ignorant swine

something interesting also happens between the members bc of this “don’t wanna eat w/ that hyung” incident bc they like to make fun of jongin about this matter, like why? why the other members love to rub this incident on jongin’s face? do they think this incident as something special, is it bc this thing is so ironic since now kaisoo is the closest? But don’t you think it’s a lil bit too much, I mean IF kaisoo just a pair of regular friends then why other members try that hard to remind jongin of his awkward misunderstanding about his closest hyung in front of the camera? Why do they enjoy it so much to put jongin in such flustered condition? Why?

I just love how chanyeol threw that topic, again, twice.

I mean look at him, his smile was so full of guilty… and the smile only lasted for few seconds…

“cant look bc of astigmatism”…  later on this guy stretched himself on top of jongin without blinking

Now lets move on from ‘don’t wanna eat with that hyung’ to ‘become the closest members’, as you may have known, after a while yeol moved in kaisoo’s room, in radio interview (I don’t have the link, nor I have watched it, I only saw the gifs or was it translation notes? Idr…) yeol said that kai always locks the bathroom door when he takes shower (I assume that each room in the dorm has its own bathroom, since if yeol was talking about shared bathroom, then why he mentioned this habit of kai few weeks later after he moved in with kaisoo then? why he didn’t notice this habit and then blabber it sooner before he moved in? hence I think he was talking about kai’s habit in their shared bedroom’s bathroom),

(Okay thanks to the anon who told me before, I watched the video again, so basically the lady asked kai (for dancing in the shower) bc D.O mentioned it first. It was around the minutes 35-ish. Exo Sina Interview.)

 the gifs above telling us that ksoo walked in when jongin was taking shower (and dancing too), why he didn’t lock the door when (as far as I know at that time) he and soo shared bedroom only for 2 of them? Hmmmm? yeah there is probability his habit of locking the bathroom door started bc of this event, BUT when he mentioned about D.O saw him, he didnt look, uncomfortable? ashamed? he giggled… like “lol hyung saw me”, so it makes me doubt he starts the locking bathroom door thingy bc of this BUT HEY THIS IS PERHAPS JUST ME SEEING THINGS FROM DELUSHIT EYES

Look at him changing his shoulders stance and then threw a damn smirk at the end. He was in ‘guarded’ position – his arms were placed in front of his body (according to some articles that I have read, if a person lying they would put something as a barrier; it could be their arms, purse, a cup, etc, between them and the other person / interviewer), so hommie aint lying about their pororo ritual bc he ‘unguarded’ as soon as he mentioned “me and kyungsoo…” (again this is just how I see things, also notice he gulped first before he spoke, his cheeks/jaw tensed and then his corner lips tugged up too. Before he spoke he was in hunched position, when he spoke he moved his upper torso, leaning it forward, like in “attacking” stance? Like um, proud of the words that flow out his mouth? IDK IM CRAZY YO PERHAPS JUST OVERNANALYZING THINGS

Many others (including me) have notice he often has a proud expression when he talks about ksoo (or when other praises soo, like when suho talked about ‘chart’, or when ksoo sings), and that damn smirk he gave after he said “[we] watch pororo together” was like a mocking? Idk like ‘bitch me and soo have special ritual and u don’t how sad ur life is /laughs/’. idk maybe this is just me ;__; /save me from this delusional state/

Also speaking of pororo I heard that jongin bought his niece a bucket of flower and a pororo doll /cue to scream like banshee/, the anon (not my anon btw, it was kyungsoosbumhole’s anon who said this) speculated that the reason jongin brought 2 gifts bc one of them from ksoo? Idk if it’s true but even tho im not sure but just thinking about it makes me giddily happy  

And I know this is about jongin now, but look at soo when jongin said soo was the tidiest and soo fucking bit his lips cuz he was so fucking giddy like “omigash jongin praises me AFHGSFDHLG” 

soo fucking folded jongin’s shirt and when he got praised by jongin he looked so giddily happy and it seems he only does this to jongin bc no other members said about this (like for ex other would say ‘yeah he folded mine too! He is so tidy!’, but no one did so)… again just jongin… /groan happily/

i’ve heard that soo helps around the dorm, I heard he cooks (the manager said he does this often on weekend, suho also said that ksoo helped him in the dorm – something involving cooking while if its cleaning, xiumin will handle it), he even wiped luhan’s sweat, he tied tao’s shoelaces and he helped yeol often too (with his mic, outfit, etc)

but when he does it to jongin, it’s different? I mean he blew jongin’s mic for fuck sake and always there to fuss over about jongin (jongin’s mic – the one that being hold and the one that being glued on their face/cheek, non-existent eyelashes, water bottles, clothes, etc), its like jongin gets special treatment,

also folding shirt is quite personal don’t cha think? like usually people would just nag and throw the shirt somewhere else if their just-platonic-hommie-bro-roommate being a pig, …or the hommies would be ‘like nah man just move it somewhere else I’ll deal with it later’, perhaps ‘they would say thanks dude for folding my shirt’ but will they show it off later to the world? Like ‘hey you know what? My hommie folded my shirt yesterday! He is so neat! … and also very cute and also he makes me want to coddle him, and he makes me smile all the time idk he’s just very cute, and his lips look so plushy too, I want to touch them while I feed them sweet, but you know, of course in the most heterosexual way… #no homo’

and this might sound sexist (I know this does NOT apply to ALL, so sorry in advance boys) but it’s rare for boys do this, especially do this for another boy’s sake; unless they are really really really close like so close they did eskimo kiss on the stage… and don’t give me, OMIGOSH ITS JUST ABOUT THE ANGLE OF THE CAMERA, bc no, man, no, they were standing straight right in the front of camera – if baek and jonghyun didn’t stand in front of them, we could see them clearly – so, what angle? Like what is this angle do you speak of? Is this angle the same creature as kim jongin’s non-existent fallen eyelashes that do kyungsoo picked off his cheek? I mean if its from the side, sure, but straight in front of camera? and they also pressed their cheeks together after that eskimo kiss, is that the magic of camera’s angle again??  Sure, hon),

ofc this is just camera’s angle playing trick to us

another version

THE CAMERA ANGLE IS CASTING A SPELL TO OUR EYES

there are many other moments about jongin showing off his love  uh-pardon me—i mean his very platonic best friend :)  soo to the world (or more like stage, just look how often he points soo when soo is singing) or showing off how close they are (like that “we watch pororo together”, “we created fake cinema, JUST THE TWO OF US, with popcorn too”, “he saw me dancing naked”, “I dun call him hyung cuz we’re close”, “he is not quiet you have to know how to approach him” etc…), it would make me write a damn book with sequel too if I decided to discuss about all of them moments, cuz there are so many…

now lets move on to how jongin always associate ksoo with cute, heart, and love… tbh I would like to simply just say ‘hommie is so whipped af’, but I think the asking anon wouldn’t be satisfied if I only answer with that

so again, IMO, It seems that jongin really adores ksoo,  bc the constant “cute” and “love” he keeps associate with soo seem sincere, I don’t believe this is part of fanservice… like when he chose that s.e.s – love song for soo, too subtle to be fanservice and when he called soo cute (when baek said soo looked dumb) he looked startled ((?) like ‘oh shit’) when he realized that there was a camera, or that “hyung should take care of his voice, I’m worried, I love you”, he looked really sincere when he said this, but what do I know I’m just a fucking trash

he mouthed gwi yeo weo  귀여워 , which means ‘you’re cute’, right?

yeol and luhan hesitated but jongin immediately pointed at soo

lol hyung so funny

look at jongin stopped smiling as soon as baek looked at his direction (and baek had his mouth clamped when he saw jongin muttered cute) 

in the video he didnt even laugh/grin when he said this, his face just straight (and then he dropped the paper and that was it)

Mind you that he said “i’ll only give you an unchanging love” instead of S.E.S – love (bc it was supposed to be a clue, I guess, so he couldn’t say the song’s title)

his name wasn’t even mentioned by soo yet people know it was him who wrote this bc;

1. He had said this to soo before and had associated the word love with soo before (showtime),

2. He grinned happily and had expecting eyes looking at soo when soo read the poem,

3. Soo didn’t mention any name and immediately talking about chanyeol’s poem, even tho the host said “ah the member who wrote this must be lovable/precious”, if it was nothing for soo, soo would tell  who was the one who wrote it [read out loud the writers name] after the host mentioned those words, but he didn’t. why?

The point is jongin never cracked a mocking grin or made an awkward face when he declared his love, he either said it seriously or he grinned happily (when soo read oranghae poem) and for the “cute part”, I think it’s obvious enough for us to see that kim jongin finds do kyungsoo cute. Maybe this is just me being a trash biased, but imo jongin looks at soo with so much adoration in his eyes /cry cuz it’s so beautiful/ and don’t give me that OMIGOSH JONGIN LOOKS AT EVRY1 LIEK THAT bc fuck no. has he ever followed the other members’ movement w/ his eyes like this?

Or has he ever turned around 180o so he could look at other members?

has he ever been immediately snapping his neck just to see them speaking? (look at his neck/nape/shoulders twitched when soo began talking)

idk this is prob bc im deluded af but near the end i see his neck/jaw twitched before he turned around to face soo, as if he already wanted to turn around but refrain to do so since he was still talking to suho

chanyeol talked again but he still looked at ksoo

has he ever ignoring ksoo’s speech so he could look at other members like this?

baek singing but nini still stared at soo

soo only spke 2 words, i remember watching this video, and i think soo said “thank you”, kris was speaking bc they were interviewed in english, anyway soo only spoke 2 words then kris continued speaking again and jongin still has his eyes at him

suho spoke, baek was in his own world, yeol stare at the cameraman’s soul while kaisoo stared at each other, look at soo gulping, he looked at jongin and then his orbs darted down and the corners of his lips twitch

Also I have seen in YT where ksoo beatboxing and sehun danced, jongin looked at sehun BUT he didn’t smile, yet we have seen jongin smiled when soo dances in front of him

near the end of the gif, he tilted his head to soo’s direction and then smiled

near the end, his body already wanted to move to the left (our left) to do hip-thrust, but his head still in ksoo’s butt direction

there is nothing to be pointed out bc clearly his eyes were checking out his bae soo

Talk about smiling, maybe this is bc im so fking deluded and biased trash but I notice that whenever jongin laughs, he often turns his head to soo, like he wants to see soo when he’s laughing, just check on pepero commercial for example and there are also gifs 

it was soo on the bottom, and tell me right in the eyes that he didnt stare at soo and smiled )later on he got distracted bc suho got up)

why he didnt just smile at yeol instead, and i notice lay (i think) spoke too, why only smiled at soo’s talking? HMMMM?

he stared for a bit, turned around but then soo started laughing (snorted) and he turned his head again to face soo and then grinned

And like before, I have read some articles about if someone turns their head to [face] another person when they’re laughing/smiling basically meaning that they want to share their happiness to that person, and also it indicates that person as the source of their happiness/joy/good feeling/etc – hence that’s why they want to look at that person when they’re smiling/laughing, unconsciously hoping that their smile/laugh will become contagious to that person. Plus I heard smiling is one of the signs of attraction…

BUT I AM JUST A CONDEMNED DELUDED TRASH WITH NO LIFE WHAT DO I KNOW ANYWAY I KNOW NOTHING

Erhm

lets move on to touching,

first I would like to point on how they always do this naturally, and it makes me thinking perhaps it’s a habit? And we have seen how they often do this backstage (when they aren’t performing, when there is no fangirl to be satisfied with “opparr playful gheiness”);

he could just tap soo’s clothed arm/bicep and then told soo to move closer, but noooo he decided to grabbed soo’s bare hand instead

pulled off soo’s hoodies then rubbed soo’s shoulder

he stared at soo and then moved his head closer (look at him treated soo like a puppy (honestly the way he stares/acts at soo remind me of how someone would stare at their kids/puppies/kittens/lovedones/cutestuffs, like awwwing, but idk CUZ IM DELULU TRASH)

/grab soo’s arm and dragged soo closer/ i wonder what xiumin thought

compared to chen, he only nudged chen lightly ‘OMG HYUNG THIS HAND’S MOVEMET IS SO FUUNNYY AHAHAAHASGHKHDK’

first pict, look at him grabbed soo’s arm

he dragged soo to be closer with him, and i notice there was a lady there, so either he wanted to speak/whisper to soo (but soo’s mouth aint moving tho, it could be he just whispered) or he didnt want to soo to get close to that lady

Second, how they touch these so called intimate area or erogenous zone

soo looked at camera and also rubbed nini’s hand

then arm rubbing stopped, jongin rubbed soo’s knee (bc soo’s arm looked free now/off jongins hand/ behind the bottles), broship much

soo moved back when he noticed there was a camera

sliding from nape to throat

why jongin ducked his head when soo stared at him, was he shy? jfc nini u had ur hand on his neck, u practically manhandled soo to stand closer yet u got shy when he stared at you? that male host tho

External image

jongin moved his leg so their knees touched, also it seems his leg placed under soo’s leg/calf

Anyway neck is one of the erogenous area, you could trigger a wet/bonner/both moment if someone caressed ur neck, or u prob will feel ticklish , or both (horny+ticklish) but soo doesn’t react about this, as if jongin is used to do this to him (and lemme remind u when chen and tao tried to touch him – on his thigh – he removed their arms, but when jongin did it, he didn’t. jongin put his palm on his neck, bare neck. Don’t u think bare neck is more sensitive than clothed thigh? and not just bare neck, but the front part – the soft and vulnerable part – of his neck, not his nape (bc I notice some ahjussi would put their arm on some youngster’s [clothed] nape or other members would do this to him too/each other)

Sure this can be seen as something playful (bc once upon a time when I was in HS, some guys did this as a type of joke – they would ewwwwww-ing and then laughing like a llama after they did it)

But this? THIS? most ppl would flinch/back away like “dude the fuck r u doing?” as soon as they see their mate’s hand flying directly to their crotch, but soo didn’t. he just stood there, as if it is NOT something surprising for jongin to do.. hmmmmmm.. and don’t give me that’s how S.Korean men skinship works bullshit /HONESTLY?/

Speaking of zipper, I also have something to say about this… this shit has been bugging me for a long time;

am I the only one who think that jongin was talking about soo’s belt? (bc I have seen this gif set couple of times in this site, yet the caption is always about “what do you mean jongin?” or “what?” etc) and what I mean belt is not the seat belt, but the belt around the waist, the belt that you wear on your pants.

jongin mentioned about soo’s baggy pants, meaning soo wears belt so his pants won’t drop (cuz it’s so baggy/lose yo), but why would jongin mention such thing then? it makes sense to wear a belt if your jeans/outdoor pants lose, so it makes me thinking that the “baggy pants” he mentioned was indoor pants, like sweat pants/hip-hop-pants/soft-clothed-material-pants, and then the belt perhaps the cloth-rope that usually loops inside part of the waist (hope I explain this correctly, me no speak English as firsteu language yo), cuz usually ppl would just wear the pants without giving a shit about that cloth-rope but perhaps soo adjusts and ties it around his waist? Idk

but my point is, does that mean jongin often sees ksoo wears pants? They shared a bedroom tgther, so yeah it’s not that big deal, it’s common, but then doesn’t that mean jongin not only just sees but pays attention to soo when soo puts his attire – especially his pants – since jongin was able to burn soo’s little quirkiness inside his memory and then unconsciously blurted it out to yeol + camera. And on the 3rd gif soo immediately froze and stopped looking at camera (he looked at yeol instead) and on 4th gif jongin was eyeing ksoo then he laughed it off like ‘nvm dude’ when yeol asked him “what?”

Now lets move on how they comfort/take care of each other, it seems that ksoo showing his care more behind the closed door/inside the dorm… 

(for ex folding his shirt, cooking, remember when he mentioned jongin couldn’t cook, or in exo showtime jongin said I expected more than this when he ate that burnt meat that was cooked for soo (does that mean he often taste delicious foods made by soo then if he commented like that?) or when jongin praised soo’s cooking in EXO ASK BOX –

– ugh speaking of EXO ASK BOX i just rewatched it bc of writing this, and I just love it when yeol answered that D.O as the member that he likes to prank but always fail (bc ksoo ignores yeol’s pranks) and then jongin was like ‘bruh I got this’ and then explained everything about how and why (ksoo ignores yeol) and then when chanyeol got question about ‘which movie u would like play/star in?’ sehun answered “horror” and then baek made fun of ksoo saying “horror kyungsoo” and then ksoo was like “this isn’t about me! it’s about chanyeol!” and other members made fun of him and then ksoo went to torture baek (which he didn’t do bc he went back to his seat again) and baek was like “I thought this is about you” and then others laughed and jongin immediately cut in “it’s horror for chanyeol too” like whaaaaat?

Did he just defend his baby? Or this is me just seeing delulu shit, bc I interpret “it’s horror for chanyeol too” as a form of defending soo bc ‘soo in horror = joke’, so he put yeol in horror too to equalize the joke/mock, and after he cut in the joke faded away and yeol was like “yeah it’s horror for me”,

also jongin laughed when baek joked “I heard you took cooking class” to soo, suho snorted while yeol and sehun were smiling a little, he was the only one laughed ‘HAHAHA’, it was short but loud like other members didn’t find it that funny –

– back to cooking thingy, when baek said “d.o makes good spaghetti” then jongin quickly added “he makes great kimchi too” like he wants to show it’s not only baek who knows about soo’s best dishes but he knows that too (PROB JUST MEANT NOTHING THO… im just a trash anyway),

… while jongin often shows it on stage/public – not in fanservicely manner – like he would put his arm around soo when soo nervous

their heads touched

Or when he defended soo

all other members sans yixing and jongin wanted to hit soo, yixing had his reason, bc he was told to heal soo later with his “power”, what was jongin’s reason for not wanting to hit soo?

Or answered for soo

soo was like “um…”

then after jongin answered for him, soo nodded and was like “ah yes that’s my unique trait”

Or when soo got embarrassed he went to jongin even tho yixing was right between them

Or when jongin asked soo instead of yixing

Or dis

lol trolled by baek

Or when jongin encouraged soo to step forward or “promoting” soo

/hides behind jongin/

“no my love, dont hide, stand beside me”

Now lets move on to his stare, above, I have mentioned why I feel his stare for soo is different (full of adoration and all that fairy tale bullshit /im a bitter person/) from the way he stares other members, and how often he gets caught staring at soo FOR NO REASON (while w/ other members, he stares at them when they speak/perform/etc) but with soo, he just STARES even tho soo doesn’t do shit (like other members are talking/giving speech but jongin stares at soo instead).

tell me right in the eye he didnt just look at the mirror to see soo’s butt reflection (while sehun looked at soo bowing instead)

he looked at soo biting the sandwich (?) and then he blinked and flicked his eyes on the right (not on soo anymore), also look at his arm, very subtle there mr.kim

Again perhaps this is me being biased deranged trash but I see kim jongin stares at do kyungsoo’s lips like he wants to kiss the fuck out of that man’s heart shaped lips

[zoom this shit if u dont believe me] sure this gif is SLOWED, but it didnt hide the fact that jongin flicked his eyes to soo’s lips then. meaning he did look at soo’s lips, also if this once/twice happened and got caught on camera, what makes you think that he doesnt do this off camera? and has he ever done this before to someone?

Sometimes you look at someone’s lips when that someone talks to make it sound clearer (according to some science program on BBC idk I don’t remember whats that show’s name), your brain connects your hearing sense with seeing sense, thus the brain will be able to retrieve more information and digest it so the result will be much more defined / clear. (in simple explanation : people talk - -> you hear = good brain reception; people talk - -> you hear + you see them lips moving so fine = better brain reception)

Also it had been said that if you’re engaged in interesting conversation you would stare at that person’s face (not only their eyes, but their entire face). does that mean jongin and ksoo often engage in such interesting conversation (I often see how other members cant get inside their bubble)? also does that mean jongin really wants to hear ksoo’s words, like he doesn’t even want to miss a single word? 

or was it bc he is intrigued by soo’s lips and makes him to want to kiss dem plushy  (remember he was the one who answered “heart shaped lips” as soo’s unique feature, while in showtime baek chose “wide-white-part-of-the-eyes” as soo’s unique trait), and I’ve heard somewhere u would often stare at your crush’ lips (idk if this is true tho), not necessarily u want to kiss them, but bc someone’s mouth often moves a lot (wetting their lips, smiling, talking etc), so when u stare at ur crush face u often will focus ur stare on their lips (beside their eyes too)… but idk

I think that’s it, I cut it and made it shorter than before – some parts that were originally here aren’t here anymore – I would add them later in the next part.

Once again, sorry for the very late reply dear anon; reasons: motherfuckingassignment, inbox crashed in the middle of answering /le cry blood/, my kaisoo stash folder is really fucked up and un-organized its very hard for me to find the appropriate gifs/picts, my nooby skill is over 9999 and I managed to fuck up and deleted the already posted/answered ask—which is yours anon—/le cry blood 2x/ bc the picts+gifs wouldnt load after that so i thought it better to delete and re-post (SORRY DUDES and DUDETTES)

And for the anons that had asked me about jelly!kaisoo, ill merge them together with the next part of this post

[below this is purely my 2 cents, there is no “theory” anymore, skip it if you prefer it]

kaisoo have become SO obvious it hurts I think my “theories” aren’t needed anymore? (and somehow calling it theory makes it sound snobbish and scientific, that’s why I always put this [“”] sign between them, to make it not to be taken seriously, just take this as the usual stuffs you found on the internet, like that quote : everything’s on internet is true – Abraham Lincoln )

I feel I don’t have to explain shit anymore since it’s already there in front of our eyes, ksoo practically kissing jongin’s ear on stage, I cant believe if someone still doubting them? like “I think soo and kai have something going on… but but im not sure, they could be just friends… friends as in platonic, I’m not sure… I ship them though, romantically, but im not sure

do your friend eskimo kiss you? do your friend kiss your earlobe? do your friend caress ur throat/thigh/ear? do your friend occasionally touch your lips? do your friend stare the fuck out of you like they want to kiss you, fuck you, and coddle you? do your friend get jealous if you speaking/being close w/ someone else? if they do, then lets have a moment for out fallen brother/sister in the friend zone… I mean how could you still be in gray area? after all this time – all these recent moments? how? does ksoo need to stick his tongue inside jongin’s earhole to erase those clouds of doubts of yours? his lips on jongin’s ear is not enough for you?

oh btw soo’s lips on jongin’s ears is not the work of glory magical camera’s angle, okay? have you seen how many fans posted the picts from different angles?

from jongin’s back (why yeol judging them?)

here from different angle, sure soo’s lips didnt touch the ear cuz of timing but it doesnt hide the fact that his nose tip did touch jongin’s ear, It’s either soo’s lips or soo’s nose that touched nini’s ear, so what now? wheres your god camera’s angle now?

“yixing is busy talking, this is my chance!”  /goes to jongin to kiss whisper to him/

jongin was like “huh?”  bc in the first gif he was busy feeling soo’s lips/nose on his ear instead of listening soo’s whisper

and it’s not like jongin is any different, (this was when they were in japan, if im not wrong)

the work of perfect camera angle. sure.

sorry for my rudeness, but in case u don’t know this answer also being posted as a retaliation post, (I know some ppl who come to this tag to have fun but then when they see somebody talks shit and burst their bubble, it would leave a sour taste in their mouth man, not everyone have blessed life, perhaps they have shit going on in their life and escaping to this side of internet gives them giggles, so please stop giving us hate/self doubt),

me lurking kaisoo tag just to have some fun but then there will be a post saying shit about thing that I adore so badly (the post had mentioned about “its not just kaisoo shippers who are talented” too. wut? jelly much? our fandom has many good fanfics, I know.. i know..),

and often posts/messages like this would be added with “…don’t ship too seriously. you’ll get hurt later”, like do you think we don’t know that? do you think we don’t know it’s risky for betting our feels on the idea of two guys – that we don’t even know how their real personas/personalities are, who live far away from (some of) us, who see us as another number of views in YT or sales in music store – being together and in love for real? do you think we are that dumb? we know it but we still do it cuz it’s fun… cuz it gives us feels to spazz over, cant u just let us be crazy in our little world?

Idk where this hate comes from, bc I see kaisoo shippers all about kaisoo~kaisoo~kaisoo~, they rarely complain about other ships (they even rarely bat an eyelashes to other ship, sure other exo ship, but that’s it, “yay ot12!”, etc no hate whatsoever). Sure we can be loud and be like “OMGKAISOOSOREAL”, ‘#realestshipever’, “why u don’t ship kaisoo? What hurt u in the past?” or posting ‘this kind of post’ for exmpl (in my defense I have said the warnings about me being deluded trash etc), 

so yeah I understand that we can come out as annoying,  but these things only exist on this tag, of course there are will be people that cruise this ship or even helicarrier it, so why even bother? why don’t just avoid kaisoo tag or unfollow ppl that post/reblog kaisoo, for your convenient sake. So much simpler than writing a rant and then get many random anon messages or being attacked passive-aggressively by a trash blog, yeah?  

(uggggghhh im sorry im very rude but this thing just makes my fingers itchy to write a rant)

I have seen a lot about SM ships KaiSoo and there are some who aren’t really fond of this idea, bc then their “realness” will be gone. Tbh, SM has my blessing to ship kaisoo, sail it SM, fucking cruise it, makes it fly to the moon, why? then kaisoo don’t have to play cat and mouse anymore, they could practically making out on the stage and ppl would buy “oppar just do fanservice!!1!” this is better than “covering them”,

I mean with recent incidents, the company couldn’t afford anymore scandal (or could they? perhaps they could still give us “surprise motherfucker” moments). anyway, as vulgar as it will sound, this group is their main ‘money milking tool’ right now. so I guess them playing along with this ship is more beneficial, since 1. It’s a trending, it attracts ppl, there are ppl who ship them first then get dragged along and drowned in exo world, casual fans bcme hardcore  = actually spending money than spazzing over them on internet since they are now tied/attached emotionally, 2. also: less works, less shit to deal with, less money to be thrown. It’s simpler and easy, 3. Both parties are happy (fans = nonshipper – don’t have to get jelly cuz oppar still single, shipper – YEAH BISH OUR SHIP RULES, nongiveafucker = meh, they can date whomever they want as long no other member will be out anymore; while the company = yay money! yay getting support to fight another company! *coughYcoughGcoughcough* yay popularity – gets aided by big/major brand *coughSAMcoughSUNGcough*)  

it’s indeed such a low and shitty move (how dare them play w/ our maidens feels??), but if SM values kaisoo’s interaction and see it as money maker, at least the pair will be given support, right? (yay for a “shield-card”) even tho I think SM doesn’t have the balls to push kaisoo that far… but we shall see it later. We shall see.

it’s fun and game until you realize how easy they could lift and stomp your feeling like snapping fingers.

Again you may feel that I’m talking like kaisoo is real and in relationship already, bc that’s how I FEEL (IM FUCKING DELUDED TRASH WHAT DO YOU EXPECT) 

A.N: I want to take a moment to thank to whomever up there for blessing this year with many “intense” kaisoo moments; aggressive soo + gentle nini.

fucking bless.

AGAIN IM CRAZY DON’T LISTEN TO MY DERANGED NONSENSICAL BULLCRAP YO

As always, sorry for my rudeness and my mistakes (wrong grammar, mistyped words/names, profanities, delulu shit). Bye /get swallowed by earth/

anonymous asked:

Any evak fanfics you recommend checking out

oh pal, you have come to the right place! all i do is read evak fic. i willl try to reduce this down but honestly its gonna get long strap urself in. (if there are any i have missed i’m so sorry! i only went through the last few pages of my ao3 history, i’m so bad at bookmarking fics so there could be easily ones that i’ve missed and it doesn’t mean i didn’t love your fic if its not here!)

wips that i’m currently reading:

you’re the only light i ever saw by kaleidxscope (so much tensionnnnnn but so well written and i personally love anything that has childhood best friends so this fic is gr9)

twice by intothewind (ok this isn’t just evak, its also josak and a strange mix of the three, which i previously never entertained the idea of. this fic is worth it though, it p much converted me cos its so brilliantly written and the whole fake relationship trope just gets me every time)

boom! by imsosupernova (my pal zoe is writing this fic! and its so adorable, despite being only on the first chapter, i have high hopes for what is to come!)

looking up and looking forward (there’s nothing back there for you or me) by evenbec (the future evak fic that everyone needs. it has evak with kids and its so good and i cry a lot (of happiness) when i read it)

are you lost? by nnooorraa (max is the BEST writer ok? the best. and this whole fic is just ahhhhh so perfect)

i didn’t mean to kiss you (you didn’t mean to fall in love) by tarjeiandhenrik (if youre like me and you can’t get enough of hate to love fics then u gotta read this, please, i implore you. read it. now.)

won’t stop running till we reach the sun by boos (a kikis delivery service au is something i never knew i needed until i read this fic, and its so good! and jonas as a cat is everything i’ve ever wanted tbh)

making new cliches by strangetowns (childhood friends! childhood friends! also is breaking my heart, but in the best possible way)

half blade and half silk by smokeshop (cause of death: this fic. my heart does a lil jump every time i see theres a new chapter, its so fluffyyyyy (even tho it can be a lil angsty at times) the interactions between isak and even are so perfect and healing and peaceful and warm. read this fic pls i beg of u)

oneshots/completed fics:

i kept running for a soft place to fall by grinsekaetzchen (listen, i don’t know shit about inception, but this fic was perfect and lovely and ahhhhh)

yeah, thats my love by eeyoreneedsahug, safficwriter, and boxesofflowers (actually a series of 5 works, but all 5 are the most fluffiest perfect things ive ever laid eyes on)

please know that i’m yours to keep by pressurerin (hogwarts au! hogwarts au! i love it so much! isak is just so cute in it and the bit at the end ahhhhh)

a transference of feeling by rumpelsnorcack (is this fic everything i’ve ever wanted? i think so. its just so well written, and perfectly combines the scenes that we know and love from s3 into this fic, and all the characters are so spot on. i am in awe, quite honestly)

love and condoms by evenbakkas (this fic is just… ahhhhhhh, isak is so perfectly isak and kassie’s writing is just not real okay? its just not humanly possible for her to be this good. i bow to u kassie. i bow to u.)

authors whose work u should just read all of (at least their evak fics, but honestly, i could probs be converted to other fandoms if i did read their other stuff because DAMN all of these writers/murderers are so good):

my awesome pal isi schedazzle who also does hcs on the tumbz and never fails to make me WEEP with them. all of her hcs are just so sOFT.

bellakitse (has the cutest meet cute series eVER i cry always, and also science buddies fic, SCIENCE BUDDIES FIC. so good so pure.)

cosetties (writing half of wlfa which, as everyone knows, is murdering everyone rn. also wrote the most perfect fake relationship au ever i cant handle how great it is and also telling u how many times ive reread it would be embarassing)

iriswests (is writing the other half of wlfa, also wrote true or false, and as we all know, childhood besst friend aus are the cause of my repeated death. everything that ceecee writes is the cause of my death actually.)

allyasavedtheday (i guess that is destiny doing it right is genuinely the most cutest most adorable most fluffiest thing ive ever read, the ending waas just… AAAAA perfect. also cut us out into little stars killed me. also just read everything that ciara writes. it is necessary for ur life)

also, cos i gotta keep on top of that self promo, here’s a cheeky plug for myself: my hcs | my ao3 ;)