problems in mental illness

  • me, at myself: so you have 231 unopened emails, 34 unread texts, 3 essays, 5 hw assignments, ur mom's calling, the dog needs to be let out, u haven't taken ur meds in 2 days,, showering would be nice, oh fuc it's dinner time-
  • also me *staring blankly*: yo u ever see shapes in the ceiling? there's like a lil bunny right there lol

me: I’m bored

what people think I mean: I’m too lazy and I don’t feel like doing anything or there’s nothing to do

what I actually mean: my disorder is causing me to go into a numb, emotionless void where I’m not just lazy, I literally don’t feel like doing anything. even if there’s something to do or even if I’m doing something I’ll still feel bored because it’s not your Typical Boredom, it’s an empty and terrible kind where I dissociate and not have the energy to do anything at all, nothing I do will cure the boredom

shoutout to everyone with bpd who tries so hard to maintain relationships with people, despite the ever present paranoia that no one genuinely cares about them; you are strong as fuck and i’m proud of you. know that most of the time those thoughts are wrong, people do care about and like you.