-udają depresję by wzbudzić zainteresowanie innych
- tną się po to, by inni im współczuli
- mówią o śmierci, dlatego że depresja jest "modna"
Wiedz, że osoby z takimi problemami ukrywają to, bo nie chcą narzucać się innym, nie chcą nikogo obarczać problemami, nie chcą być dla nich ciężarem. One same cierpią i nie chcą, żeby inni przychodzili przez to samo.
Has anyone found a solution yet? Sometimes…well, most of the time, my shyness keeps me from doing things that I would like to do. I can’t even pick up a phone to order pizza or meet new people if I’m alone, and I have been dealing with this problem for all my life.
People expect that, since I do YT as my job, I’m open and social, but I really am not. I get amazing opportunities to write books, have my own program on tv etc…but I can never accept them. Don’t get me wrong, It’s not my dream to be on TV, I’m a simple person and I’m happy with my life, but I just wish I was able to choose what to do instead of always say “no”. Everybody tells me that it’s easy, nothing bad is going to happen and I just need to try, but to me, it feels like it’s impossible to go over this problem and I can’t live life completely.
I know that many of you, marzipans, deal with the same problem, so now I’m asking you if you have any suggestions. I want to know what you do about it and how it effects your life.
So the whole Susan situation was definitely not about femininity and discovering her sexuality and becoming a woman and etc. I find it so damaging when we have people like J.K. Rowling and a lot of people not in the fandom (I feel like everyone in the fandom understands Susan to some degree and understands that if her story had been continued we’d see an older Susan eventually restoring her faith in Narnia) just dismiss it all C. S. Lewis being “sexist”. Yes, Lewis lived in a time period where it was normal to put women down just for being women, but if he was a sexist man then why are Aravis, Jill, Polly, and Lucy girls that weren’t created out of sexism? Aravis was stubborn and self-centered and an all-around strong-charactered girl. Jill was brave and complex in the sense that she had fears but she could overcome them. Polly was cautious but adventurous. Lucy was known for her bravery and immense faith in Aslan and she actually participated in wars and fought alongside her brothers. There’s also the fact that we for the most part have very equal amounts of female and male main characters (Polly and Digory, the four Pevensies two boys and two girls, Aravis and Cor, and Jill and Eustace). I hate that a feminist-friendly female character has to be able to expertly kick physical butt, when a feminist-friendly female character should be a female character that is viewed and respected on the same level as a man and has complexity to her persona and isn’t seen as more than just arm candy that can choke-hold a man while looking pretty. Susan is complex. Susan is a relatable character. Susan is an equal to her brothers. She’s High Queen, for Aslan’s sake. If Lewis wanted to degrade her he could have kept Peter as High King and the rest of his siblings below him. But Lewis didn’t. He had the two oldest Pevensie siblings be the High Monarchs, both at equal levels with the other. Susan may have been known for not participating in wars but honestly, war isn’t pretty. There are people out there that can’t stomach bloodshed. War brings blood and deaths and it’s not for everyone and taht’s totally okay. Susan is a gentle woman who most likely can’t stand watching not only her own, but also other countries’, people fall on swords and spears and arrows. She knows that she’d be a better help staying back in Narnia and governing while her siblings were away fighting a battle. Besides, who better to take care of everyone’s responsibilities than the High Queen of Narnia herself?
There’s also the “discovering her sexuality” part. So in Narnia Susan never grew up to her late twenties and was sheltered away from balls and gowns and cosmetics? Kind of hard to believe. The Last Battle wasn’t the only time Susan became a woman. She had fifteen years in Narnia to became a woman and “discover her sexuality”. Not once during those fifteen years of her and her siblings’ reign did Aslan kick Susan out of Narnia because she preferred those “frivolous” things over war and bloodshed. Once again it all boils down to modern society’s belief that a “strong female character” has to be a female character that’s beautiful without knowing it and being able to suddenly do herself up all sexy and fight a man in 5" heels and a tight dress and write it off as “I have 12 older brothers”. Susan was beautiful. She knew it. Everyone told her. I don’t personally believe she was vain about it since her vanity is never addressed. She liked to go to parties. She liked “nylons and lipstick”. So what? Some girls like that stuff. Others don’t. A character doesn’t have to be butch, anti-male, anti-femininity to be a feminist-friendly female character.
The only real explanation for Susan being excluded has to do with The Chronicles of Narnia basically being an allegory to Christianity (even though Lewis denied it being a straight-up allegory, there’s so many similarities between Narnia and the Bible and Christianity in general). So, I don’t believe that from the very beginning Lewis pointed at Susan and said, “She’s going to stop believing in Aslan and Narnia,” and that was that. First we have to go to Lewis’ characterization of his other characters. The other Friends of Narnia wholeheartedly threw themselves into Narnia because they all had some strong connection to it. Edmund, Jill, and Eustace became better people because of Narnia, Lucy, Digory, and Polly discovered Narnia, and Peter was High King in Narnia and accepted his responsibilities as king. Everyone’s lives was very effected by Narnia – everyone except Susan. She was rather indifferent by it all, she believed when she had to and stopped when she didn’t have to. Simple as that. It would have been rather extraordinary to have someone like Lucy or Edmund or Eustace suddenly stop believing in Narnia. Susan was the best choice. Now, let’s return to the Christianity thing. Lewis had grown up Christian then lost his faith for a while, it’s something that very commonly happens in Christianity. There are people that used to follow a faith and then something in life happens (maybe a family membered died or they went to a new school that’s full of mostly secular people or they lost their job or something happens) that makes a person slowly lose faith in their beliefs; they start to doubt, they start to question, and then they’re gone. There are a lot of people that stay away from their old faiths for the rest of their lives or convert to something else, but there are also a lot of people like Lewis that return to their old faiths. I think Lewis seemed to relate to Susan. Maybe before, when he was younger, he only went to church because it was a family thing, it wasn’t something he had picked for himself, just something that he was told he was, he called himself a Christian but he was indifferent about it; like Susan who was in Narnia twice but was able to easily forget Narnia right after Aslan told her to (going back to not being entirely effected by Narnia). I entirely believe that Lewis was representing those people who lost themselves when he created Susan, and I am adamant in my belief that Lewis was going to have Susan become a Friend of Narnia again. Her change wasn’t going to happen in Narnia, it was going to happen b e c a u s e of Narnia, b e c a u s e of what Narnia did to her, not because of what she did in or to Narnia. She needed to see that everything that she took for granted could easily be taken from her. She took Narnia for granted, she took her family for granted, she took her friends for granted, and Aslan took them all, not because she forgot or because she became a woman or anything, but because it was her time to actually become a real woman and accept what had been real the entire time. She was going to finally be changed by Narnia, it just had to be through cold, harsh reality. Aslan knew that the only way to open her eyes was by using her world against her. Susan’s story didn’t end right there at no longer being a Friend of Narnia; Lewis said so himself. Her story was just going to take a little longer to tell because some people don’t always have these quick changes for the better like her family and friends were lucky enough to have, she has to go through so much more because that’s the only way she’ll learn and accept and b e l i e v e. For some people to finally turn to God, they have to be going through a lot, they have to be going through hardships that are difficult to handle alone and that’s when they ask for the help that was there for them from the beginning. God doesn’t help those if they don’t ask Him for help first. Susan didn’t turn to Aslan or go to Narnia willingly, she was dragged in by her siblings. She didn’t ask for Narnia, it was just handed to her and she took it for granted.
In conclusion, no Susan did not get kicked out of Narnia because of the “nylons and lipstick”. She was temporarily excluded because she had to willingly come to Aslan, and when she does that, that’s when she would return to Narnia and be reunited with her friends and family.