probably not the first person to make this joke

anonymous asked:

In high-school, I'm stuck with a gay clique. And it's not that I have any problems with gay people, it's just that- they constantly make gay jokes and they yell about how gay they are. It's probably funny the first time you make a gay joke, but the eightieth time,well, not so much. And apparently I'm the 'Tolkien Straight Person' out of the group. I genuinely don't know what to do because they're good friends but they can be so annoying sometimes, really. - 💛

just take a break from them from time to time. sometimes we need that among our friends, just a little time to get away and have a breather

-Darastrix

-audibly winks-

… how are they jumping up like that?

it’s a mystery.

or it’s a bone-based op seesaw situation probably

Positive things about the signs
  • Aries: You have this positive energy and are a really fun person to be around. You make most people happy and you're great at complimenting people. Nobody feels bored around you specially because you know how to party and make everything super fun. You're really fun.
  • Taurus: You definitely give the best and most fun presents. You can make smallest things look so much worth it with all the love and time you worked on the present to make it meaningful and beautiful. Your doors are always open for those in need and you can make your home feel like home to others. You're really kind.
  • Gemini: You have a great sense of humour and make almost everyone around you laugh. If someone is having a gloomy day you can make them forget all their sorrows and misery with your jokes and charming personality. You're definitely the best first date (and ofc more dates ;)) for people because you can make awkward situations almost funny and make people forget that few minutes ago things were awkward. You have a great smile. You make people feel all fuzzy and warm.
  • Cancer: You're someone people find easy to rant to. Probably because you're a great listener and try your best to support people when they're feeling blue. If someone would call you in the middle of the night and ask you to come over, because they're not feeling so good, you will be there with ice cream and you're ready to let the person spill all what is troubling them. You don't judge people and try to give people a chance. You really do have a heart made out of gold.
  • Leo: You're really loving and caring to those you love. You're generous and try your best to make people comfortable. People find you soothing and super charming. You're just a big kitty who wants to hug everyone, except those who hurt people you care about, then you roar!
  • Virgo: If someone stands up for their friends that would be you. Nobody can hurt the ones you love, that's just not going to happen on your watch! You make people feel really secure and you bring people comfort. If someone wants to watch a movie you might not be all that interested in, you watch it anyway, but of course discuss it heavily afterwards ;). You have the ability to discuss about things without making it an argument. You're a peace maker.
  • Libra: You're great at comforting people and make them forget their sorrows, however people who hurt you or your friends you don't let go so easily. Nobody can get get away with being mean! You easily charm people and you show most people kindness and try your best to be understanding and forgiving. You're really sweet.
  • Scorpio: You're really ambitious, if you have laid your eyes on some specific goal you try everything in your power to make it happen, no matter what! Since you have such a strong will power a lot of people look up to you and admire you. You're loyal to your friends and family and almost nothing can change that. You're sort of like a fluffy ambitious dog!
  • Sagittarius: You're almost always in a good mood. Like wow all Sagittarius' I know are always smiling! Everyone around you will sooner or later start smiling because you bring such positive aura. You stand up for people even those you don't know very well because you believe in justice. And you can be really convincing let me tell you that.
  • Capricorn: You're really passionate about things you love and give it your all into almost everything you do. You're really friendly and people flock around you, it's really hard to not like you.
  • Aquarius: You're really smart, like a wikipedia woah! If it's about a random fact you'll know about it. You love teaching people around you and people really appreciate you for it. Almost no one sees an Aquarius mad because you almost never are. You're really chill and people find it cozy to be with you.
  • Pisces: You have a really strong personality. It's hard to forget about you. Just like Scorpio you are very ambitious and try to make it to the top. You'll definitely succeed in everything you put your heart to because you're really strong. Don't forget that!
The Types as I Know Them

The list isn’t complete but still :^)

ISTJ: They’re really quiet and more awkward than awkward at first but once they get used to you, they don’t really shut up and they talk to themselves when you’re around to make it seem like they’re having a conversation with you

ENFP: They’re really clingy and they do a lot of developing while you know them and they kinda disappear without saying anything for a while but they come back like nothing happened which is pretty chill and also contradictory

ENTP: Gets high and drunk a lot, like, a lot a lot but loves everyone while they’re under the drunk affect. You’d sort of expect them to be the dictator type because of their egoism but they’re really not. It’s sort of like their egoism is a little card they play a bit too much

INFP: Can literally write paragraphs about how awesome you are when you’re feeling down. Or just when they’re happy about something. They write a lot of positive paragraphs

ENTJ: Really bad at understanding jokes like they take them too seriously and try to understand the meaning and if it’s a joke about them, they’ll say “Is that really a problem with me? You should’ve told me earlier before announcing it, gosh”

INTP: Probably the most extroverted introvert like they can easily rap in front of a stranger when asking a question but get so exhausted after a few hours and need like 9 hours of sleep but they can also be like a monkey when they’re hyped but they never actually sleep so yeah, your local mad scientist with issues??

INTJ: They’re really hard to communicate with at first but once you get under their skin enough, they’re one of the best people to sit around with and do almost nothing

ESTP: They can make anything seem funnier than it really is and they repeat the same short joke all the time and the joke doesn’t seem to lose its worth. And they never forget things really so they’re probably the best people to have inside jokes with

2 Statements On Each Sign

Aries: Drags everyone they love. Emotional but doesn’t always express it constructively (tbh never does).

Taurus: Secretly the momfriend, but doesn’t want anyone to know that. Might use you with ulterior motives, but is grateful for you nonetheless.

Gemini: Well-known, but whether they are adored or hated depends on the person. Secretly emo trash, mostly for bands.

Keep reading

Seventeen as shit my teachers have said
  • S.Coups: "We must sit in an unusual way to write the exam. I will call by number, in alpha order. Seungkwan you are first, enter the cave, we'll see if you survive."
  • Jeonghan: "Haha, joke's on you. Since I took a bath in the River Styx, I'm basically immortal."
  • Joshua: "QUIET. The next person to speak has detention. . . Now, does anyone know the answer to question 3? Yes, Hansol?"
  • "I think it's--"
  • "sIkE, NoW yoU've goT DeTentIoN."
  • Jun: "So now I have over 10 years worth of sketches of The Underworld stacked inside my house. . . I framed two of the sketches because they were so pretty. I'll probably make a patchwork quilt out of the rest."
  • Wonwoo: "No homework? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over my two PhDs."
  • Hoshi: "I could do this in kindergarten."
  • "I didn't even know what a number was in kindergarten."
  • "Well, it was senior kindergarten."
  • Woozi: "That was a very interesting comment. You know what would make it more interesting? If you kept it to yourself."
  • The8: "You're going to kill your son, and God will laugh at you because you're stupid."
  • DK: "I finally get the number B."
  • Student: "So Mr. Kim broke 2 bridges?"
  • *CRASH*
  • Mingyu: "Oops."
  • Seungkwan: "Even I look at it and think OH SHITTTT."
  • Vernon: "YOLO price for 10 dollars."
  • Chan: "Haha, doesn't my pointer stick kind of look like nunchucks?" *continues to swing around pointer stick and make pew pew pew noises*
Some Facts About Ginny Weasley

She’s a good Quidditch player. She’s a strong player from the start who enjoys the game, and is easily the best chaser on the team in HBP.

She’s principled. When Ron/Harry are discussing their lack of dates for the Yule Ball in GoF, Ron gives her an opportunity to go to the Yule Ball with Harry (“Ginny, you can go with Harry and I’ll just-”). Ginny, despite her crush, says she can’t because she’s already spoken to Neville. She could have dropped him, but didn’t.

She’s independent. She doesn’t hang around waiting for Harry. She goes off and lives her own life and dates other people. When she dated Dean, she disliked how he felt the need to help her into the common room as though she couldn’t do it herself. Though she was obviously upset at Harry breaking up with her and later leaving to go after Voldemort, she never tried to convince him to stay with her.

She’s well-liked. After a rough first year at Hogwarts, she slowly builds up a social circle. She gets asked to the Yule Ball by Neville (who must consider her a friend if not a potential love interest), starts dating Michael when she’s 13 and gets together with Dean when she’s 14. She appears to have more male friends than female friends (which makes sense since she was raised with brothers).

She’s kind. She forms a friendship with Luna and Neville, neither of whom are exactly the most popular people in school. She also sticks up for Luna to Ron and to other students. She’s almost certainly the person who invited Luna to come to the first D.A. meeting. At the beginning of OP, Luna asks who Neville is and Neville responds “I’m nobody,” but Ginny is quick to snap “No you’re not” and introduce him.

She’s “fun.” She has a good sense of humor, and shares jokes with Harry even pre-HBP. She’s probably closer to the twins than any of the other Weasley siblings. She makes Harry and others laugh with her jokes and impressions. Harry is so happy with her that he describes it as “like something out of someone else’s life.”

She’s not afraid to call people out. Despite her crush on Harry, she’s not afraid to call him out at Christmas in OP. Nor is she afraid to call Harry out when he tries to get her to stay behind in OP. She’s quick to defend Luna and Neville. When Ron catches her in the corridor with Dean, she gives as good as she gets.

She’s determined. The twins make a comment about her being surprisingly good at flying, and Hermione matter-of-factly informs them that she’s been breaking into the broomshed to borrow their brooms since she was 6. When discussing the “weapon” in OP, George says “Size is no guarantee of power” and then uses Ginny/her bat boogy hexes as proof.

list of nhl players who have (probably) accidentally called sidney crosby ‘dad’
  • BEAU BENNETT
    • was the first person to do it. sid took it in stride, laughed it off, made a joke about how old he was, but beau still couldn’t make eye contact with him for a few days. didn’t stop him from making the mistake like 10 more times.
  • derrick pouliot
    • sid took him out to dinner and spent the whole time giving him advice and at the end sid picked up the check and our poor pooh bear said “bye dad, thanks for dinner,” then froze until sid spilled that beau had already called him dad twice that week
  • olli maatta
    • actually makes this slip up a lot, but he says it in finnish so no one chirps him abt it bc they don’t understand what tf he’s saying
  • CONOR SHEARY
    • definite repeat offender. at this point if sid hears someone say ‘dad,’ he turns around, assuming its shearsy
  • bryan rust
    • overheard sheary calling sid dad, so he started doing it too as a joke. then one time conor wasn’t around and sidney handed bryan something and bryan said, “oh thanks dad,” then immediately said, “please don’t tell shearsy.”
  • connor mcdavid
    • after that interview they did together (u kno the one) sid was giving him all sorts of advice and his hand was on his shoulder and he kept calling him “kid,” so, really, it’s not connor’s fault that he said, “bye, dad,” when it was time to leave
  • matt murray
    • IT WAS AFTER THE CUP WIN AND HE WAS DRUNK, SHUT UP, FLOWER
  • james neal
    • “nealsy…we’re the same age…”
  • NATHAN MACKINNON
    • at this point if nate ends a call with “bye dad, love you,” the avs honestly aren’t sure if it’s sidney or his actual father
  • tyler seguin
    • actually said “daddy”
Dating Tom Holland would include - part 2

Originally posted by stallingdemons

Writer: Jess

[part 1]

  • Tom holding your face with both hands whenever he’s kissing you goodbye before a trip you can’t go 
  • But usually him pulling you by your neck for a kiss
  • Basically he likes to kiss every single part of your body
  • Lips, cheeks, nose, forehead, knuckles, back, chest, neck, shoulders, etc
  • Accidentally telling you a lot of spoilers
  • “SHIT, I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST TOLD YOU THAT”
  • Learning how to take good photos with his brother
  • Taking a lot of photos when he’s not looking at you
  • Tom also taking a lot of photos of you
  • Having a little personal photoshoot
  • Him giving you massages whenever you’re on your period
  • Especially when you have cramps, he will be so good to you, oh my gosh
  • “It’s okay, just a sleep a little bit, I’ll be here when you wake up”
  • Having absolutely no shame and nudity becoming a natural thing for both of you
  • Also having no problems with putting your hands on each others body, doesn’t matter where
  • Him liking to rest his hand on your butt sometimes, while cuddling
  • Spending weekends on his couch watching Friends
  • Making him watch Star Wars
  • Tom not knowing how to cook, so he asks you to teach him a couple of things
  • Him avoiding crying in front of you because he knows you will get sad and probably cry too
  • But sometimes when he’s just really sad, he can’t help it and the tears starts to fall down his face and you just hug him and let him cry on your arms until he falls asleep
  • Borrowing his shirts but never actually giving them back to him
  • Tom making tons of silly jokes just to see you laugh 
  • Him supporting your dreams and being your #1 fan, it doesn’t matter which career you wanna follow
  • You being the first person he calls whenever he gets cast on something
  • Long talks on the phone and Facetime when you’re not together
  • You wearing a necklace with a spider web as a pendant 
  • Fangirling over tons of bands with him
  • Listening to Ed Sheeran and dancing together while cooking as “Give Me Love” starts to play
  • Him knowing your favorite snacks and buying them for you
  • Late night conversations about the future - moving together, marrying, maybe having kids
  • Whenever you two have a serious argument, none of you being able to stay mad at each other for more than three days
  • Having special nicknames for each other
  • Filming him while he’s at the gym and posting on your Instagram
  • “You can do it, Thomas”
  • Playing with Tessa and Tom’s little brother Paddy at the backyard of his parents’ house 
  • Him smiling at that sight, with a beer on his hand and thinking “I’m fucking in love with her”
  • Playing games with him and his brothers
  • Being everyone’s favorite couple
  • Robert Downey Jr. meeting you on the set of Infinity War and being like “Tom, I’m gonna steal her from you”
  • Fangirling over the Marvel cast and Tom teasing you for it
  • Holding his hand all the time when he takes you out 
  • Giving each other nice little gifts like a bracelet, a rose, a necklace, your favorite candy, the blu ray version of his favorite movie, etc
  • Getting to know the world together

Come celebrate my birthday with me! (: - Jess xx

anonymous asked:

How would Zico, Dean, and Simon D react to a friend walking in on them and their girlfriend during sexytimes? Thanks so much! I love your blog, btw! :)

Zico: would clearly give the stare of death and yell at the other person to get out and close the door, all while trying to shield you from view.

Originally posted by nyaaaaaw

Dean: Would be extremely embarrassed to get caught in the middle of the act, two-fold to be exact 1. for being caught by his friend 2. For letting his girl go through that embarrassment. To be exact Dean would be mortified, after about a week or so he’d probably make it a little inside joke with you.   

Originally posted by thedeantrbl


Simon D:  His first action would be to cover his girl with the bed sheets as best as he can. Kiseok would be really pissed off, just picture him screaming with that thick manly Busan accent; hollering all sorts of things, like “knock next time!” “You can’t just walk in into someone’s room like that.” 


Originally posted by sky4nn

anonymous asked:

um. victor lets something Really Personal slip during the Summer of Excruciating Mutual Pining. yuuri wants nothing more than to pull him into his arms and make him feel loved, loved, loved

Yuuri’s still mortified that the first time he actually did something about it, it was about food.

It has, for some time now, become increasingly likely that when Victor’s joking, he’s probably, mostly not. ‘It’s so funny to have someone to talk to after practice! Besides you, Makkachin!’ ‘Roommates? You know me, I’d be impossible, ha ha!’ And every time Yuuri doesn’t say something, he always wonders if it was the right call.

The last straw comes when they visit the local izakaya together. It’s a tourist town, so there’s an English menu, and Victor is just utterly charmed by all the choices. “Two pages, Yuuri! Just for the fried things! Amazing!”

Yuuri smiles into his straw. “You must get to try a lot of food.” When Victor’s face goes briefly blank, Yuuri adds, “Traveling?”

“–oh!” His smile comes back quick, the one Yuuri has learned to recognize as bright and shiny and empty. “Well, you know. You order what they tell you you can order, right?”

Yuuri does not actually make the conscious decision not to let this stand. The next thing he knows, he’s placing their order.

He’s placing enough of their order for at least five people.

“Um,” he says, as they’re left alone again. Victor’s eyes are wide. “Most of that isn’t on my diet plan. But it’s good. You should eat it.”

Victor blinks. His smile comes back, slow and a little crooked. “You’d really abandon me with all this delicious food, Yuuri?”

Yuuri’s not always good at picking up on an invitation. But this one is all he needs.

years & years (1) - m.dl.c x reader // j.a x reader

Summary: a fight over a sandcastle sparks the beginning of a beautiful feud.  
Warnings: mentions of violence.

**

you’re five years old, and a boy with tan skin and a mess of dark brown hair kicks your sandcastle down on the first day of kindergarten. he laughs, right in your face, towering over you in khaki shorts and a dark blue polo shirt. when he turns to walk away, you stand up, taking up your plastic shovel, and crack it across the back of his head. he stumbles from the shock, and then bursts into sobs. of course, this would be when the teacher looks over - and you end up in the time out chair, arms crossed, scowling. in the corner of the room, the boy is snivelling as the teacher checks the back of his head carefully. much to the disapproval of the teacher, your father had to bite back his laughter when she rats you out at home time. as he apologises to the boy’s mother on your behalf, the boy glares at you from the safety of his mother’s side. you’re only children, but it’s the start of a war that will span years and years to come.

**

you’re eight years old, stepping up to bat for your team in a game of rounders in gym. justin foley is throwing the ball - you hit it, hard, adrenaline soaring through your veins as it flies across the field. you begin the journey around the bases, your team chanting your name the whole way. grinning wide, with the sun on your face and the wind in your hair, you feel so powerful, on top of the world - until a foot goes unnoticed, stuck out in your path, and you trip, crashing to the grass on all fours. glancing up, you meet the self-satisfied smirk of Montgomery de la Cruz, eyes shining maliciously. Getting to your feet, you’re only a few yards away from a home run, when zach dempsey touches the base with the ball. you’re struck out, and shove your way past your enemy fiercely as possible. ‘you’ll regret that,’ you mutter, stalking off the field, watching him take his spot as batter. he gets a home run first try - and is sure to throw you a triumphant smirk.

**

you’re twelve years old, just hitting that awkward stage of not-quite a child and not-quite a teenager. you’re just discovering make-up and kitten heels, alongside your best friend Sheri. these things aren’t exactly regulation, but you manage to get away with some mascara, foundation, some red lipgloss that tastes like strawberries and smells even better. you wear it into school exactly once – and montgomery hollers across the courtyard that you look like a clown, he and his friends collapsing in peals of laughter, the sound magnifying and shattering your confidence. sheri puts her arm around you and tells you not to listen,  that he probably just has a crush on you – and that in itself almost makes you laugh. because the idea of that one boy, liking you? was downright hilarious. the whole day he sneers and jokes at your expense. you keep your head held high, ignoring him, but when you get home and wipe away the makeup, tears burn and spill down your cheeks. it’s not the first time he’s made fun of you, but it’s the first time it’s felt personal.


**


you’re fourteen years old, a freshman at Liberty High. it’s an exciting time, nerve-wracking, but exciting. you feel so grown up, with a fresh backpack, plain black, a clear pencil case packed neatly with three biros of different colours, clean notepads stacked inside your locker. for the first week or so, it’s all so daunting, that you forget about montgomery de la cruz, and he seems to forget about you. you’re both busy settling in to this new and foreign enviroment, signing up for extracurriculars, making new friends. the weekend of your first high-school party is a game-changer, and it’s held at bryce walker’s house. neither you nor sheri can even believe you’ve scored an invite – bryce is a whole year ahead of you, already favourite for varsity captain, a sports legend in the hallways. you tell your parents you’re going to a sleepover at sheri’s, and the two of you sneak off in the darkness, headed towards the sound of music and fun. it’s at that particular party you meet jeff atkins, baseball player, and level ten hottie. he has the brightest eyes you’ve ever seen, and one flash of a sweet smile has you completely entranced. the majority of your night is spent in the kitchen, chatting with him, connecting on a level that is entirely new to you. nothing happens, per say, but simply standing there, feeling like it was just the two of you in that crowded room? it was almost perfect. almost, because montgomery had taken it upon himself to drag his ass over and accidentally on purpose spill his drink all down your top, nudging jeff with his elbow while making some crude joke you don’t even register. your cheeks are flaming, embarrasment swallowing you whole – then jeff shakes his head and offers you his jacket, to cover the wet spot, telling montgomery off for his actions. the look on the other boy’s face is priceless – like he’s just swallowed a lemon whole, lips twisted in a snarl, gaze heated and furious on you. jeff guides you away, and you spare a glance back at the boy who once kicked your sandcastle down, all those years ago. he’s changed, in more ways than simply getting taller– his stance is tense, eyes on fire, a muscle twitching in his jaw. he’s angry, and for a moment, your heart hurts for him. but then jeff is holding your hand, and it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world, and you forget everything that isn’t him.


a week later, you and jeff are officially dating. he waits for you outside your classes, walks you to and from your locker, loops his arm around your waist when you sit together at lunch. you’re walking on air, floating contentedly through your daily life. the one stain on an otherwise perfect tapestry is montgomery, who’s words had become sharper as he directed them towards you, nasty, awful things, that wind jeff up. they end up fighting, and it stuns you, how violent montomery could be. his fists don’t stop until zach dempsey and justin foley are hauling him back, jeff’s lip split and bleeding, montgomery’s eye already beginning to swell shut. before the principal drags them both to the office, montgomery catches your eye – there’s a moment, a strange second, where you see something you can’t quite explain between the pitch-black fury in his eyes. then, he spits out some blood, and walks away. after that, he pretty much leaves you alone – as weird as it sounds, you miss him. you miss the daily banter, the not-quite friendly, not-quite nasty feud that had been cultivated over almost ten years. you didn’t notice until he was gone, how much of a presence he’d been in your life. it saddened you to think of that stage of your path as over, but eventually, you accepted it. you were happy with jeff, your grades were steady, and soon enough, montgomery de la cruz became only a person you used to know.

Sidney and Geno are friends, ok?

Would you call Sidney a friend?

Geno: Why not? I would. We have a good relationship. We go to restaurants together and spend a lot of time together on road trips. Crosby is teaching me new words.

Swear words?

Geno: No, normal English words. I see something written somewhere and Sidney explains through gestures what it means. Crosby is a simple and sociable guy. He doesn’t think he’s a hot shot. Although Sidney is one of the faces of the NHL.


  • What was your relationship [with Crosby] like after the unfortunate game against Canada in Vancouver?
  • MALKIN: Canadians won fair and square and I can’t consider them enemies because of it. Moreover, Sid is a sensible person. If he started making jokes about it, I would’ve probably stopped talking to him. Thinking about that game is still painful and Sid understands that. We know what it means to lose, we’ve lost Stanley Cup finals together.
  • How easy is he to talk to? Are you friends or is your relationship strictly professional?
  • MALKIN: We are friends. We live near each other. He helped me a lot during my first few years in Pittsburgh. He showed me around every day. You could call him at any time and he would pick up the phone. Look at what he’s achieved and his good character hasn’t changed. His parents are very kind people. […] I’ve never heard him tell a nasty or vicious joke

“We’re pretty tight,” Malkin said. “He’s a nice guy. Sometimes guys with talent like Sid are a little bit different, but he’s friendly, his family is real friendly too. I’m glad to have met Sid and we talk a little bit more about his life, my life. He’s really open to talk every day.”



 SENSE OF DUTY Page 5/??

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Next:  Page 6

Hello, here page 5, I really loved how this page was at the end. By the way this story is just my own conception of what would probably make the characters in these situations, so, I do not worry about the canon of the personalities lol. And if I love to make suffer to my favorite characters wuajajajaja ok no, it’s a joke, even my heart breaks when I draw things like that. But hey, I hope you enjoy this story. The translation of this page was made by a friend of mine, his name is Cris, although he does not belong to the fandom but he is the one who usually sent him my first sketches (Besides he was the one who got me the wacom tablet). See you later

p.d:.I do not know about you, but I love the contact photo of Chief Bogo.

The Greek Gods AU Literally Everyone Wanted

@ifdragonscouldtalk thanks for letting me write the greek god au this was literally the best thing that happened to me all day i love it. (Tony=Persephone, Bucky=Hades, Sam=Poseidon, Steve=Zeus, Rhodey=Demeter, Pepper=Athena, Natasha=Hecate, Clint=Hermes. Thor is Thor, you can’t change crap like that. He’s too godly.) 

Bucky was in hell. On most days, that was a good thing. It meant things were running smoothly, souls weren’t arguing over whether or not they should be placed in a different section, and Thor sometimes talked about how he did a better job than Thor’s screwed-up niece Hela. (She was weird, Bucky tried to talk to her and she started talking about the End. Lmao, Bucky’s not messing with that.) 

But today? Hell was in a totally different context. First off, there’s this soul named Sitwell who keeps bitching about the hellish part of hell, and how he should be in the Field Of Elysium. Bucky has to explain that since Sitwell is such a terrible person, he doesn’t get to go there. 

The dog won’t settle down. Cerberus, as Bucky named him, was whining. Probably because Sam gave him smoked meat treats, and Bucky hates the fact that Sam can make his dog like him more than Bucky. (Bucky hates Sam, mainly because he tried to flood the Underworld, and that can’t be done, but no, Steve said that Sam was “just joking.” Just joking, Bucky’s ass.)  

And finally, he has a dude just…covered in flowers wandering around talking with the dog. He pinches the bridge of his nose, and walks over. People aren’t supposed to get out of their death sentence, but some, on occasion, do. 

“Hello Dum-E,” the man coos, scratching the dog under the chin. Bucky stops, noting that the man seemed to have named the dog. 

“Did you…name Cerberus?” Bucky asks awkwardly. The man whips around, and…holy hell. Bucky is gonna be in trouble. The guy is covered in flowers, some making a small wreath around his head. His sandals are the color of grass on a cool summer’s day, and his chiton seemed to be stained with the color of small flower petals. Bucky knows who he is. 

Tony. 

Or, as the Greeks like to refer to him, Persephone. 

“If you named him ‘Spot’ so help me gods,” Tony says. “That head is Dum-E, that one is U, and the last one is Butterfingers. She dropped her treat after I handed it to her. I love them.” Bucky just stands awkwardly. 

“Um, okay? What are you doing down here?” Tony blinks, before scratching Cerberus–U–behind his gigantic ears. 

“I heard the barking! Also, I noticed that there is a severe lack of flowers in your home, and i understand aesthetic purposes, but you have no skulls for the arts. Natasha would be disappointed.” 

“You…you know Natasha?” Bucky chokes. If he knows Natasha, then that means that he’s in potential danger. She likes her friends, especially the soft one. (Given that Clint, (hermes to the mortals) usually trips on his face and took a wrong turn into Germany, she likes him a lot.) 

“I think I’m going to like it here,” Tony decides. “But you need more flowers.” Bucky is helpless as Tony starts decorating and talking to Bucky about something other than death and destruction and chaos. He’s talking about the new strand of Hyacinth that was just in today. 

Over time, Bucky actually looks forward to the talks that he and Tony have. Bucky learns how to plant herbs so that his throne room doesn’t smell like total death, and learns all about Tony’s friends. 

What Bucky doesn’t know is that Rhodey and Pepper, Tony’s absolute best friends, are looking for him. And they are tearing up the earth, searching high and low for him. 

“He was picking flowers for Bruce’s party,” Pepper grumbles. “Because he had that new cup decoration to try out.” 

“I thought it was because of his new threshing tool for me,” Rhdoey said. “Look, Athena, could you maybe get in an appointment with Zeus? Everyone knows he trusts you best.” 

“If you call me Athena again, I’m suing?” 

“Do we even know what that concept is yet?” 

“Not sure, humanity is unclear. We’re going up and seeing Steve, though,” Pepper says, grim determination all over her face. “Come on, Rhodes.”  

Steve, naturally, is terrified of the force that is Pepper and Rhodey. Rhodey on his own is fearsome, but combined with Pepper? Oh dear gods, that is the day that Steve hides. 

So, they send Clint. It’s a disaster, but no one else will voluntarily go down and see Bucky calmly besides Sam, but Sam always tries to convince Bucky that Steve likes him more. (It’s a travesty.) 

Clint walks in like he’s walking through Natasha’s closet looking for the purple toga that brings out her magic. 

“Hi Tony!” He says cheerfully. “Pepper and Rhodey made earth suck because they couldn’t find you or get to you!” Tony blinks, another geranium poking out of an eye socket. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Clint says. “I can’t go anywhere without putting on, like, six overcoats. Also, all the flowers died.” 

“…I wanna stay here, Rhodey knows how to make flowers,” Tony says stubbornly. “Bucky has, like, no flowers.” Bucky gapes. 

“It sounds like your Pepper and Rhodey have made a mini hell.” Clint, by this point, has grown bored, and already flown up to tell Pepper and Rhodey the news. They do not accept. 

“Tony, flowers and stuff is your job,” Rhodey explains. Tony wavers. 

“Bucky has portals!” Pepper and Rhodey are still on the fence. 

“Tony,” Pepper warns. “You know how scatter-brained you are. You forgot to give Athens asphodel flowers for three weeks.” Tony pouts. 

“Well, I’m gonna marry him,” Tony says decisively. Bucky chokes. 

“When the hell did you decide that?” 

“Two seconds ago,” Tony says. 

By this point, Natasha, Steve, and Sam are all in, but Steve only heard the word ‘marry.’ 

“You’re married him?!” Steve asks, shock written all over his face. 

Look: Tony doesn’t make the best decisions. He wasn’t the one who caused the Trojan War, despite what Pepper said. (She was jealous, alright?) So when he heard Steve, he thought that he was going to ban Tony from being in the Underworld and having some good times with Bucky. 

So he shoves a whole pomegranate in his mouth. It tastes bitter, but also sweet, because he’s been working hard on them. Even if Bucky wouldn’t let him taste them. 

“TonY NO!” Comes the collective shriek. 

“Tonee yesh,” Tony replies, red gushing down his mouth in dribbles. He practically gargles the pomegranate juice. 

“A-are you choking?” Bucky asks. “Babe, you okay?” Tony nods, spitting some of it out. “Sweetheart, I love you, but why? Why did you try and jam an entire pomegranate into your mouth?” 

“To stay with you!” Tony says. “I didn’t want Steve to take me away!” 

“No offense, but Steve is as harmless as a baby goose.” 

“Yeah, but he hisses like one,” Bucky says. “Nah, I’m god of the dead. Dead trumps sky.” Steve rolls his eyes. “So, you still need to do your job, spend some time on earth with Pepper and Rhodey. Are you okay with the system of portals?” 

“Yeah,” Tony says. “Sorry Pep, sorry sugarbun.” His friends, totally understanding what it was he was trying to do. “So, I’m thinking summer for the wedding. Everyone’s expecting spring, but it rains like a bitch during spring, and I like flowers in the summer.” Bucky just decides to do whatever the hell Tony says. 

The wedding is beautiful. They get Thor to preside over the ceremony. (He’s a different god, he makes weddings more important. Also? Thor is a fun guy.) Sam makes beautiful fountains, Steve makes sure the sun shines, and Rhodey is in charge of catering. Natasha and Pepper plan the whole thing, although Natasha also makes sure that the Underworld stays as is. 

Dum-E, U, and Butterfingers are all flower-dogs, and ring bearers. Butterfingers is wisely the flowergirl, as she would drop the rings. 

“I love you,” Tony says, pecking Bucky on the cheek as they dance. “But I’m decorating your throne room with flowers.” 

“Babe, I have to keep a reputation.” Tony snorts. 

“You married the goddess of springtime and flowers, don’t kid yourself.” 

shikikira  asked:

Really loved your last few headcanons, and I'm so glad to see that requests are opened again :) How do you think the RFA would react to a naturally overly busty MC? Or if you only want to write one, how would Jumin react to the pajamas he bought MC being too small for her? Can't wait to see your take on this! Hope everything is going well for you!

Th-these are both good! Time to combine!

Yoosung
- Admittedly, at the party, he didn’t notice right away. He was so focused in finding you, showing that he was okay, showing that he was finally mature. He just wanted to see you after all of that hell.
- And so after your lips met for the first time, your lips tasting vaguely like chapstick, he finally noticed the pressure against his chest
- And could. Not. Look. Away.
- Granted, some of the painkillers he was on for his eye might have drained some common sense away from him, so you didn’t say much, but Zen surely gave him a small thwump on his shoulder to pull him out of it
- He sheepishly apologized, and tried focusing on your face, but he was pretty tired….and they looked really soft…
- Futher into the relationship, he would desperately want to rest his head on them, leave lewd marks all over, but it would take him a while to admit that. In the mean time, he’d love when you two were cuddling and he felt them against him.

Zen
- He was a gentleman!!! A gentleman!! But oh my god
- Were you testing him?
- The whole time you were over, helping him cheer up about his leg, he was sweating bullets. He wanted to be romantic, suave, caring, but god damnit if you bent over one more time and they wibbled like that again–!!!
- It was hard. He avoided skin contact, thankful he was concious enough to only risk glances when you weren’t looking. He just desperately wanted to stuff his face right in—- Nope, nope, time to calm down, Zen!
- When he was finally opening up about himself, and the two of you held hands, and he got to feel how soft and warm your skin was- Well, now there was a very good reason to send you home early.
- In the future he would love groping them, squeezing and teasing- Don’t even get him started on how they bounced when you rode him

Jaehee
- Oh my…
- She was so flustered every time she talked to you. Granted, hers were a decent size themselves, but seeing that on another woman…
- She was trying to mentally cool off during the whole RFA party.
- Wasn’t it a bit weird to be staring at another woman’s breasts??
- If you were wondering why she was drinking a bit too much at the party, well… there’s the answer.
- Once the two of you were in a relationship, she’d love playing with your nipples so much. Tweaking them, pinching, pulling a bit- They were so fun and she felt so filthy for getting so turned on by them!

Jumin
- At first, he didn’t notice. He knew it was rude to stare at a woman’s chest, so in trying to be polite, he made sure he didn’t gaze at your body for too long.
- But when you came out trying to wear one of his button-ups to bed, it was so hard not to stare. In fact, he was sure he was being pretty obvious about it.
- He coughed a bit, clearing his throat, before promptly forcing you to turn around and directing you to where his robes were. He wasn’t used to such urges springing forth so suddenly, and he was hellbent on holding the both of you back.
- (the image did keep him awake much longer that night, though)
- Later on in the relationship, he would love biting/pinching them, kissing trails right over the curve of one and refusing to touch your nipples to make you whine. They were very useful to tease, because it made you beg for him quicker.

Seven
- No shame
- Okay, maybe a little. At first he thought your pictures may have been photoshopped, but when he sees you in person, it’s so, so, hard not to stare.
- In fact, for a good thirty seconds that’s exactly what he does, before realizing with a bright flush what exactly he’s doing.
- Probably added a bit more into a reason of pushing you away from him for the next few days
- But oh my god later on he would be teasing you so much. Making silly jokes, whining to use them as pillows- Everything silly (as long as it didn’t upset you)
- In the bedroom, however, his mouth and hands would hardly stray from them until you were begging for his cock. He loves teasing, possibly even putting clamps on your nipples, and don’t even get him started on when you use them to help give him head. One hit K-O!!

Introduction to Nekoma:

Okay so these guys are Nekoma. They specialize heavily in defense. Though none are geniuses like Kageyama, they are a well rounded team and have great teamship (is that a word?). Don’t let the kanji fool you. They DO represent cats. Nyan~

Kuroo Tetsurou. Captain. Major science nerd. Hot piece of trash. Really bad bedhead. Bros with Captain Owl(Bokuto). Makes his team chant “We are the body’s blood-flow smoothly and circulate oxygen so the brain functions normally.” Totally in love with his childhood friend/precious setter Kozume Kenma *points at Kenma* I mean who looks at someone platonically like that. He calls Kenma their brains, backbone and heart. Is really smart but can be an idiot. Made sure Kenma didn’t quit volleyball. Expert Kenma Reader ™. “Oya Oya Oya?”

Kozume Kenma. Precious precious child that needs to be protected. Socially Awkward cutie. Gamer geek. Probably plays Dramatical Murder. In Love with his childhood friend/captain Kuroo Tetsurou. Dyed his hair blonde cuz Taketora Yamamoto, their ace, told him he’d stand out with long dark hair. Has never failed anything because Kuroo tutors him do they actually study *coughs*. Good friends with Sunshine Child Hinata. Analytical as hell. Number 1 Cat Bae.

 Taketora Yamamoto. Basically Tokyo’s version of Tanaka with a mohawk. Cannot-Talk-To-Girls and is actually a softie. A very good ace if you look past his idiocy. BFFs with Tanaka. Crushes on Kiyoko as well. Forms Kiyoko Protection Squad with Ryuu and Yuu. Has cute sister named Akane.

Yaku Morisuke. MY BEAUTIFUL LIBERO CAT MOM. Adorable to the max. Extremely high-caliber libero. Short, but don’t tell him that. The mom. The MOM ™. Once cried tears of joy over Kenma making friends. Smacks Tora and Lev into place when needed. He’s so cool when receiving. He isn’t paid enough to deal with this crap. Can be very dorky when he wants to be. Nishinoya idolizes him alot. Posed seductively in a trash pile once.

Lev Haiba. Tol Idiotic Russian Lampost  ™. Comes in later. Thinks he’s the ace (note the word thinks.) Pisses off Yaku, Kenma, Tora and Kuroo more often than needed. Can be a real sweetheart (mostly in the manga though, he’s pretty annoying in the anime). Learning, but learning quick! Probably has a crush on Kenma. Swings like a Whip. Has a very pretty sister named Alisa.

Kai Nobuyuki. Other Mom. Coolest Senpai ever. He’s so nice it’s to a fault. Apparently kinda scary when playing poker. The poor guy was stuck in the middle when 1st year Kuroo and Yaku were still bickering. Peacemaker dude.

Inuoka Sou. Literal Angel. Dog in Cat Team. He’s so enthusiastic and sweet it hurts that Lev took his spot as a regular. But he’s so sweet he ain’t even salty ‘bout it, just vows to work harder and is literally the only one who bothered to encourage Lev to be a regular, even though it was HIS spot getting taken. As quick as Hinata and gets along with him just as well. Gets along with KENMA, that’s how sweet he is.

Shibyama Yuuki. Cinnamon Roll. Yaku’s apprentice. Really shy but really cute when he gets comfortable with a person. Asahi scared the heck outta him when they first met. Can actually get along with Lev. Yaku believes in him alot. Must be protected.

Fukunaga Shouhei. He’s so cute seriously. It’s a running gag that he never says a word so his speech bubbles are literally just blank bubbles.Gets along with Kenma as well, probably because they’re both kinda awkward. It’s canon he’s actually really funny and makes jokes in his head but doesn’t tell anyone and laughs to himself instead. Tora tells him to “Talk more, c’mon”. Really Precious.

And there you have it!