I know everyone’s always talking about Bucky having a mass freak out when he finds out all the dumb shit Steve’s been doing while he was gone but at the same time I feel like the next time Steve jumps out of a plane with no parachute every single other avenger is gonna freak out while Bucky’s just standing there like
It’s gotten to the point in the Marvel/MCU fandom where I don’t even know what is entirely fanon and what has a basis in the movies/comics
has Thor ever eaten a pop tart?? did Steve really have his last rites done twice before he got the serum?? is Coulson really Clint and Natasha’s handler?? Does SHIELD even have a position called “handler”?? Did Bucky and Steve share an apartment before the war?? Did Bucky work “at the docks” while they shared an apartment?? Has Nick Fury ever said “motherfucker”?? did Steve have a job with the WPA?? does Coulson like SuperNanny?? Were ‘Bucky Bears’ ever a thing??
“Excuse me,” says the battle droid. R2 cannot roll his eyes, but he twitters in binary, something hard to translate but best summarized as:
you heard me arsehole [the literal translation here would be: human excrement funnel]
“I will shoot you,” says the other battle droid. B-1 models, flimsy in the face of a lightsabre – or a blaster, or a well-aimed stick – but more than a match for R2.
“No you won’t,” says the first one, “the General needs him.”
“Well at least let me threaten him a little,” pouts the second droid.
“It’s so –”
boring chips in R2 right, it’s boring?
“Yes!” says the first droid. And then he adds, more out of a sense of duty than any real conviction: “Republic scum.”
“It isn’t boring,” says the second droid. “Last week, Grevious killed my best friend. At least. I think he was my best friend. I can’t tell us apart, really.”
you have no names
“I’m B-1,” says the first droid.
“And I’m B-1,” says the second.
“Mass-produced,” says the first.
“Could be worse,” says the second.
I was mass produced, R2 says hurriedly. but Anakin takes care of me.
“What do you mean?”
I’ve never been shot for target practice, says R2, and I’m allowed a name and –
“It isn’t that bad,” says the first. Maybe the second. Hard to tell. “Anyway, you’re Republic scum and – “
The smack-shriek of a blaster. The first/second droid collapses, minus head. His companion says, “Never shot for target practice?” in a tone of voice that is, somehow, different.
never ever, says R2. my friends wouldn’t let it happen.
“Friends,” says the droid. “He wasn’t really my best friend. He just went on patrol with me more than the others and I got used to him. Familiar face, you know. When the General killed him – uh – I kind of felt….bad.”
wanna get out of here?
“Roger roger,” says the droid, with feeling. Then: “Roger. That’s a name, right?”
yup, says R2.
“Great. Great,” says Roger. Then he hesitates. “What’re your orders?”
I don’t order you – oh, fine, babysteps, look just get me out of here.
“And make sure that your Jedi doesn’t lightsabre me.”
Roger, roger, trills R2.
“Fuck you,” says Roger who, it seems, is a very fast learner.
pre-serum Steve Rogers as a talented forger with strong, Robin-Hood-inspired morals
James Barnes as a dangerous hitman with more warrants on his head than tattoos on his skin
and T’Challa as a brilliant cat burglar with a borderline obsessively sweet tooth
The three of them have exactly four things in common: their criminal records, their impressive reputation, their mark (a sleazy CEO named Obadiah Stane) and their shared interest in Tony Stark, a brilliant but under-payed young engineer at Stane Industries. The comic books weren’t kidding when they said leading a double life is hard, but staying on right side of the law when the most genuine person you’ve ever met keeps getting hurt because of it is damn near impossible.