probably even better

CARCINOGEN.  hello amis, i am deathly sick and Dying™️. i’m 95% sure it was food poisoning from pasta puttanesca /weeps no more pasta puttanesca 4 parsons! i haven’t been this sick since i was twelve and ate seafood linguine in mexico ( maybe … i should not eat pasta … ever …  ). anyways, i’ll continue with the starters + drafts once i get better sdhjsk. my cat’s been trying to keep mi warm but i wanna puke every time he sits on me désolé Bl u can lay on the other half of my bed but don’t even touch me or i will Die. i hope you’re all much better than i am and don’t wake up four times in the middle of the night hunched over the toilet :’(

hahahahahaha when you start watching videos on bottom surgery and you get really excited like “holy shit one day i can have this and the technology/results will probably even be even better then and holy shit” and then you remember you can medically never have bottom surgery and you feel like something in you just died

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Hello and welcome to Griffin's amiibo Corner, I'm Griffin and this is the VR Zone, a beautiful virtual world that has proven to be an inescapable tormentor for this amiibo reviewer. It has been 3 weeks since my body and mind were surrendered to the harsh whims of the VR Zone, and I am beginning to worry that I may never see the light of the flesh world sun ever again. My connection to the outside world has been severed, leaving me stranded, adrift in a virtual sea that was designed for in-depth amiibo reviews but not for human survival. As such I have had to salvage the natural resources of this world to satisfy my life requirements, such as this lean-to shelter, which is surprisingly spacious and maybe even a little bit comfortable. This humble hut is home to me, and my only companion in this world; the Toad amiibo, whose paint lines were compromised in an attack on our hut by a swarm of Harvesters, a virtual menace that covets and seeks out foreign matter originating from the flesh world. Though my form is completely virtual I still desire sustenance. Obtaining food has led me to commit unforgivable acts of violence against the wildlife in the VR Zone, but such is the order of things, following a belief system that natives to the VR Zone call "The Great Wheel." My only other company in the VR Zone is the Dark Orb, which silently watches my endeavor to stay alive in this cruel environment. To touch the Dark Orb is to become one with the VR Zone and find peace in its endless quiet expanse, but to do so would betray my oneness and my human agency. Every day I greet the Orb like an old friend and consider its eternal offer. Every day I have refused, but I do not know how long my willpower can hold out, may The Great Wheel sustain me. This morning the Toad amiibo further gave of his body to aid in my survival. He forfeited his near-field communication chip embedded deep inside of his base, to help me attempt to establish a connection with my home terminal using this virtual machine, which is mostly comprised of wood, flesh, and teeth. In defiance of the Dark Orb's will, I will now attempt my escape, using this, my first and final lifeline. It seems to have worked! I can feel my home terminal's emergency protocols activating- wait, oh my god. Oh my god Toad, no. No please wait! Please god! Stop! Toad please! Come to me Toad! Please Toad no...
6

the raven ring: trips through the gangsey’s iphones → henry cheng

I think what I love most about Laurent and Damen together is that they don’t lose themselves, they become more like themselves instead. They become more like the people they were supposed to be. just because they’ve finally found the person who loves and accepts and sees them for exactly who they are. 

Damian was grounded. He’d lightly beaten some kids who were about to pull a prank on a disabled classmate. The shouting match between him and Bruce was legendary, driving Tim and Stephanie to the furthest corner of the house while Cass abandoned ship entirely. A few days later Bruce and Alfred had to leave town. No one else was available to “babysit” Damian – which really only entailed delaying his inevitable escape from the Manor – except Barbara.

“You know, Damian,” she said after a quiet dinner with the sullen teen, “I think you need to think bigger.”

Damian looked at her blankly.

“What’s his face, Michael Higgins? The ringleader? You know, there have been rumors lately about his dad’s company. If his dad went to prison for fraud, or embezzlement, or tax evasion, or whatever it is he’s doing wrong,” she waved a hand vaguely, “that would take Michael down a few notches, wouldn’t you say? They may not even be able to afford the school tuition after all those court fees…maybe he’d switch schools. Maybe they would have to downsize and move away.”

“And all these kids today have such a bad habit of taking technology for granted. They don’t secure their phones or clear their caches, y'know what I’m saying?”

She leaned across the table and pointed her ice cream spoon at him.

“Find out who cheated and how to prove it, without getting caught. If you have a hunch their parents are crooks, take them down. Find out who made that gross Fuck/Marry/Kill list of your classmates. Yes, I heard about that. Rat ‘em out – anonymously – for the their shitty behavior instead of getting in trouble for punching them like they deserve.”

Smirking now, Damian gave her an appraising look:

“You sound like you have some experience with this particular brand of justice,”

“Well, I’m not saying I got my class’ 'Regina George’ expelled,” she replied, pressing a hand to her chest with faux modesty, “Or that I exposed a pedo teacher. Or that I borrowed GCPD equipment to do it. But yes, I do.”

“The trick is no one can guess it’s you, or you’ll be in trouble anyway. But you’re Batman’s son, just think of it as training.”

“And it you ever tell him I suggested this, I’m coming for you." She plunked her spoon down into her empty bowl and smiled threateningly.

Tried drawing they toys’ responses to a couple of gifts you guys have given to Sproing…

The bow tie was a gift from @icetigerkitten

The sweater was a gift from @peachdalooza

8

I didn’t relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was I didn’t relate well to people period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain.”

5

This is me just trying to do some expression practice with @therealjacksepticeye thanks for being so expressive in your videos my dude

anonymous asked:

What if a strain runs into Fushimi and their ability lets the person they've affected hear what the devices around them are saying. (Computers, phones, etc)

Imagine Fushimi gets hit by the Strain power and the first thing he hears is this weird noise almost like a purr. At first he’s not sure where it’s coming from, it sounds like it’s nearby but there’s no sign of a cat or anything else, and the alphabet squad look at him like he’s hearing things when he mentions it. Fushimi finally realizes that the sound is coming from his PDA, he wonders if maybe it got a virus or something and as he’s fiddling with it the PDA gives this pleased little ’…love you…’ Fushimi almost drops the damn thing he’s so startled and vaguely disgusted. None of the alphabet boys claim to have heard that one either and then Doumyouji runs up to give him a report on the pursuit, PDA in hand. Doumyouji’s PDA immediately starts whimpering for Fushimi to save it because Doumyouji uses so much space on dating apps and stupid games and trash apps that would probably have installed trackers in his phone if Fushimi hadn’t coded the software Scepter 4 uses himself. That’s when he starts to realize that he can ‘hear’ anything electronic, like all the alphabet boys PDAs are suddenly clamoring at him. Kamo’s likes to talk about all the cute pictures of Kamo’s daughter and also trade sushi recipes, Akiyama’s and Benzai’s are mercifully silent and well behaved most of the time but every now and again Akiyama’s makes a comment about collars and leashes that makes Fushimi really hope that’s because Akiyama likes animals. Enomoto’s keeps up a steady stream of chatter about the latest anime movie or video game. Hidaka’s is perpetually talking about large breasts and Fushimi himself, Hidaka doesn’t understand why Fushimi keeps glaring at him all of a sudden. Fushimi’s PDA continues to love him though, because Fushimi treats it right and gives it so much attention.

So they all head back to Scepter 4 and the drive is a little rough because the van won’t shut the fuck up about the road conditions. It doesn’t like Doumyouji driving so Fushimi makes them stop and switch to Akiyama, the van likes Akiyama a little too much and that combined with the PDA’s collar comments makes Fushimi kinda side eye Akiyama a little, poor Akiyama has no idea what he did to make Fushimi mad and is very flustered about it. Fushimi also learns that traffic lights are assholes, they keep saying ‘stop’ when the light is green and 'go’ when it’s red and Fushimi almost makes Akiyama get them into accidents a few times by asking why he’s not going already at a red light. Fushimi also ends up with a headache from listening to all the chatter of everything around them, the cars on the road and all the phones everywhere. At one point he catches the sound of a small voice that sounds almost familiar trying to give someone a pep talk about making up with a friend and he looks outside to see Yata wandering along the road nearby talking to Kusanagi on his PDA watch. Fushimi immediately looks away and orders Akiyama to run a red light.

They all get back to headquarters and Fushimi has a splitting headache but he’s determined to finish his reports anyway. The vending machine keeps trying to literally sweet talk him into some nice canned coffee and a candy bar. He stops in his own room for a minute and immediately everything electronic in there starts with the purring, his computer is so happy to see him and even the handheld game system that he hasn’t played in years is making happy puppy sounds. Fushimi can’t handle the weird electronic inanimate object affection and goes back to the office to do some reports, it turns out the computers hate doing paperwork almost as much as the rest of the force does. But then maybe he overhears one computer making sad complaining sounds and saying it feels sick, Fushimi roughly shoves Fuse aside and starts fiddling with the computer, discovering that there was a complicated computer virus infecting it and Fushimi immediately quarantines and destroys it. Everyone’s so impressed by Fushimi’s intuition that he knew the virus was there, Fushimi just clicks his tongue and tries to ignore the profuse expressions of thanks from the computer itself.