probably because it's shit

do you ever think “fuck it, i might as well give this fic a try,“ and then like three paragraphs in you read a phrase so horrible that you know it’s just gonna echo through your fucking subconscious til the day you die

4

100 Days of London Flat Memories → (61/100)

Dan and Phil react to Teens React to Dan and Phil

a not-entirely-earthling stinky boy

2

tag yourself i’m gay and kokomeme

Scary Game Squad: Jack's 55th Birthday [BONUS]
  • Davis: I'm taking you to a concert.
  • Alex: A John Mayer concert?
  • Davis: Yeah. You and me.
  • Alex: I'd rather not go.
  • Davis: If I got us... two sweet box seats and a cheese plate.
  • Alex: No, I'd go. I would go. You don't have to upsell with a cheese plate.
  • Davis: But I know... I know that your weakness is a cheese plate.
  • Alex: Yeah, that's a good-- It is one of my many--
  • Jesse: Are you two just asking-- like on a date right now?
  • Alex: He's just trying to invite me to a John Mayer concert.
  • Davis: I'm taking him to John Mayer. I just want him to hear the one song. Once he plays Daughters, we're out. We're gone. It'll probably be towards the end because its one of his hits.... Shit... what if he's bold and plays it at the beginning to get the crowd going.
D&D Horror Cooking w/Arella

I want to take you all on an adventure.

Yesterday in @dungeonsdonuts Curse of Strahd D&D game, my bard chef Prianna found herself inside Castle Ravenloft, tasked with making a delicious treat for a vampire queen now residing there. The vampire queen also happens to be the Queen of Hearts (yes Wonderlandy Queen of Hearts). High standards must be met.

I *actually* make recipes for Prianna. If I can’t come up with a recipe for it, using old-school cooking methods and DM-approved ingredients, then she doesn’t make it. I like the added challenge.

Boy was I given one.

I feel like I’m on the most extreme Master Chef episode ever.

Originally posted by randomweas

Join me on this journey as I attempt to craft a dish worthy of a queen with limited ingredients, body horror, and a lot of government eyes watching my google history.

Keep reading

Portuguese!Grantaire

Okay just bear with me my fellow trash

 - He isn’t portuguese technically. His grandparents escaped from Salazar dictatorship to france as everyone did back then. His own dad was born in france. So yeah he is french. But he still has that hot portuguese blood and lord help us all.

- He used to go to portugal every summer when he was little. His own dad speaked portuguese in his house because that’s what happens, we are assholes and speak our language in our homes and then go back to our country and speak french just because we are lil shits. So yeah Grantaire knows portuguese. His vó would kill him if he didn’t.

- When he is stressed he starts talking in portuguese because other people can’t understand him and that makes him feel safer. 

- When he hurts himself he just screams “caralho”.

- No one of les amis knew that was exactly cursing and they thought it was a beautiful word. Till R is like “you know that is like the most normal portuguese cursing word right?” And everyone starts using it as well and its adorable.

- He actually knows a lot of portuguese history and when marius is being an idiot about Napoleon he just clears his throat and be like “Well my people kicked his ass 3 times he ain’t that great”. (also enjolras screams there that that aint the point that Napoleon was bad because he was bad).

- The only time he was vocal about a cause it was about the immigrants and refugees. No one ever saw him like that. He was talking with everyone and defending that cause and one night Enjolras comes to him and aks why its so important for him and Grantaire just smiles and says: “My grandparents escaped from the dictatorship. They were refugees in France. I can’t let that be forgotten.” So yeah Enjolras kind of fell in love with him a bit more.

- HE CALLS CORAÇÃO (heart) TO EVERY LES AMIS BECAUSE PORTUGUESE PEOPLE ARE THAT AFFECTIONATE.

- First time he calls “amor” (love) to Enjolras, he almost dies. Because that sounds so much better than in french and he loves french. But the way Grantaire lips move when he talks portuguese is something that makes Enjy weak.

- He just curses in portuguese. Forget french. He is just caralho, merda, puta que te pariu, filho da puta, cona, cara de pila, etc. 

- And everyone thinks that is beautiful.

- He likes to say shit like “oh in portuguese you dont say ____ you say __(something that has nothing to do and its probably a dirty joke)__. Because he is an adorable liltle shit.

- HE KNOWS HOW TO COOK PORTUGUESE FOOD AND COURF LOVED IT. AND HE LOVES TO COOK TO EVERYONE AND GET EVERYONE AROUND A TABLE BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY AND THAT IS A TYPICAL SUNDAY WITH THE FAMILY.

- He loves the beach and gets cranky in summer because the sea calls for him.

- He loves Fernando Pessoa so much. So so much. Cause hey no one was more emo than him.

- Sometimes he sings fado and everyone is looking at him and awe because damn R voice is amazing but in portuguese??? They can hear something more even if they dont understand a third of the words.

- just portuguese!grantaire

best friend taemin
  • yo his face literally has ‘little shit’ written all over it
  • check out my little shit tag lmfao
  • he’ll literally drag you to the depths of hell, but he’s also caring
  • if you’re having a bad day he will make sure to listen to you
  • but then after he’s back to being the punk ass he is
  • if you’re just being emotional though he’ll give you the hardest time about it later or even during the moment
  • ‘do you remember that time you cried because onew accidentally threw away the chips you didn’t finish yet’
  • ‘shut up’
  • ‘or that time–’
  • ‘i said SHUT UP’
  • he’s literally the older brother you never asked for
  • ‘i have a date this friday’
  • ‘with who’
  • ‘some dude’
  • ‘who’
  • ‘just some dude from class’
  • ‘ok?? do i know him??’
  • ‘taem leave me alonneeee’
  • he’ll ask you to come during his practice hours to watch him dance
  • but also because he wants you to bring him food
  • because boy is hardworking and hardworking boy needs fuel
  • he’ll teach you some of his routines too
  • he doesn’t talk much about himself, but the practice room is probably where he talks the most about his feelings
  • sometimes he’ll feel really down because he feels like he’s not accomplishing what he needs to accomplish fast enough or it’s not up to his standards
  • and you guys will just sit in there til past midnight talking it out
  • and he’ll appreciate you a lot even though he doesn’t really show it
  • you always pull out your phone to document the shit he does because he’s fucking wild
  • your phone is like filled with all the faces he manages to pull
  • and you guys will sit there and laugh about it for hours on end
  • ‘i can’t wait to speak at your wedding, i’ll have these pictures playing on a slideshow in the back’
  • ‘don’t you fucking dare’
  • ‘try me’
  • sometimes you guys will just sit and stare pointlessly into space together
  • like he’ll walk in and see you just sitting there staring into the air and he’ll just sit and join you because why the hell not
  • taemin is just taemin and you love him
  • 20/10 would be his friend

anonymous asked:

my boss just sent out the schedule email for the week and was all 'i dunno if everyone will recieve *this day* off who requested it off because 5 people requested it off' and i am FUMING because if i dont make it to my brother's fiance's bridal shower (who i am a bridesmaid for) i will feel like a piece of shit and probably just go no matter what because its not my fault he won't hire more than the bare minimum numbwr of employees needed to run his store.

9

tagged by: @finex09

In order: Carrot cake I baked for the sig. other, pecan + nut pies I felt like making one day, a fresh syrnik manifesting from nothing, a dovecote in a restaurant, last selfie taken of yours truly (apr 17), a collared dove in the garden, graffiti on the chalk cliffs near where I live, my cattes, room fulla herbs and ~aesthetic~ belongings from a wetland centre we went to sometime ago.

(Literally all I have in my gallery are cats and birds I’ve stalked and stuff I’ve cooked with the occasional scenery lmao I’m not that interesting. I get the feeling that with ‘describing yourself with what you have in your gallery’ you’re not just meant to post a selfie and be done with it but I had so little content that I had to cheat I’m sorry
Also it’s like past midnight so I’m off to bed. No tagging anyone today  ;_;)

anonymous asked:

What is your pet peeve?

Shit like this:

Come on, I don’t burn everything.

…But I did burn his entire front yard. And four or five cop cars. And the cops. And a bit inside his house.

I probably traumatized his parents, but fuck them, they were assholes. Cat was cute, though.

anonymous asked:

Are you planning to post anything soon? I miss your stories. <3

I assume by ‘anything’ you mean fic-wise, yeah?

Short answer, yes.

I have four things that I will be posting/updating over the next few days.  Expect two tomorrow and the rest on Monday/Tuesday.

  • “The Phenomenal Menace” update
  • “Shelter” update
  • “By Def” repost (just the first chapter/two?  Dunno yet.)
  • “Before A Fall” (also just the first chapter for now, I think)

I have three chapters each of “Before A Fall” and “By Def” done, but I’m also kind of starting to hit burn out (I’ve written nearly 100,000 words in seven weeks between the “Spin” rewrite and the rest of these stories), so I’m going to pace myself a little bit so as not to get writer’s blocked or suffer a case of the fuck-its.

Anyway, that’s probably more answer than you wanted, but there ya go.  Thanks for the question.