probably a stretch

a real ass guide to life

there’s a lot of shit on here about lighting candles and waking up early to see the sunset and if we are being hella honest, no one actually does that. u probably don’t own candles or if u do there in a closet and the only time you wake up early all year round is never. so here’s a guide to actual human beings.

-wake up when you need to. don’t wake up at 5 to “journal” and “meditate.” sleep is more important. if you have a class at 9, wake up at 8. it’s simple.
- eat something. it doesn’t have to be avocado toast. just have a bagel or a bowl of cocoa puffs.
- have ur meds if u take any
- attempt to look nice. at least brush your hair and your teeth. but honestly no one cares how u dress. if you wanna dress like a stripper, then dress like a goddamn stripper. honestly no one cares. (but if ur in hs try to follow the dress code a little bit?)
- wear makeup if u want, or if you don’t then don’t.
- ur probably not gonna exercise or stretch. who cares. i dont. your friends don’t. if ur feeling up to it then go jog 4 miles, but if ur not then don’t.
- actually try to have a plan of what ur doing for that day. attend ur classes, and do ur work. ur education is hella important. FUCKING DO IT. kill those grades, murder everyone else in that class, impress and surprise ur teacher, parents, and everyone else who thought u couldn’t do it
- attempt to be social. make plans with friends and try to go. it can be lowkey and only like an hr. eat pizza or go to a bar. just have fun.
- eat healthy. eat a hamburger when u really want a hamburger and eat a large pizza when u really want a large pizza but try ur hardest to eat healthyish.
- watch ya shows. who doesn’t love some amazing netflix binges? watch it. do it.
- actually read. books are honestly the best. at least try to pick up the first harry potter.
- go to sleep before 2AM!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡ sleep is hella important.
- shower. you don’t need to buy expensive bath bombs or candles and have a fancy bath and coat ur skin in so much lotion that you are a walking wet rag, but try to smell somewhat pleasant.
- do what u want. just make sure it’s legal. have sex, travel, learn how to code, be with ur family, have a family, marry someone nice, build an empire, be fierce, be strong, but most of all: be happy. you live once on this planet. live it to the fullest. and don’t let ANYONE bring you down. not a girl, not a guy, not a parent, or a so called friend. keep your standards high, and heels higher.

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we’re so sorry skeletons
you’re so misunderstood

drinking games and bets for the spookiest season with only the spookiest skeletons.

are u ready for a hungover time

i would like to dedicate these shenanigans to @jolie-in-the-underground and @tyranttortoise for continuing to fuel and inspire my desire to see these nerds in drunken scenarios. no regret, guys. no regret.

Humans in spaaaaace

Had this thought last night as I lay falling asleep. We have all these space-exploration-ensemble shows with a bunch of aliens each of which has some sort of super-human power, more or less. And humans are always given ~leadership~ as their special power. The ability to bring people together, to organize shit, and I always thought, like…what a shitty power. What a shitty colonial “you were a mess until we came in and saved you” power. Drives me nuts. Seems like if an alien species builds a got-damn ship that can fly through got-damn space they probably have their shit together, right? At least somewhat?

So then I figure, what is humanity got to contribute to all these super-beings? We’re just nonsense reckless critters careening through space. Seems like we’d be more trouble than we’re worth.

But what if…I mean, what if that’s us. We’re the universe’s huckleberries. We’ll run headlong into danger, and we’ll *laugh*. And what if…what if we survive and a weirdly abnormally high rate. Like any alien with two bits of math can put together that we should have wiped ourselves out a long time ago with the first set of “hold my beer, and watch this.” So what the shit, how are we still banging around the universe building shit and flying off solar ramps into the sun while doing some spaceship equivalent of an ollie while crushing beer cans on our forehead. Why. Why do we exist.

And then it hits me. We survive. We’re super good at it. Uncannily good at it. So much so that we…I mean, we actually bend probability in our favor. It’s absurd. And it totally falls flat if you actually tell us this (“Never tell me the odds,” said Solo, knowing full well that knowing the odds kills a human’s chances of survival).

So there we are. Careening around the universe. Joining alien crews because they know that with a human on board, especially a cocky human in some kind of leadership position, can warp probability to stretch success in their favor. And they can never ever tell us this. So instead they just pat our heads and tell us we’re just so good at ~leadership~ and that’s what makes humans special

But really…we’re just a bunch of space dinguses.

I don’t think we talk enough about how freaking beautiful Marinette is. Like seriously, she is super gorgeous. 

3

save him. 

So you know when you were in middle school and/or high school, and all the guys did this thing where they jumped up to hit the top of the doorway before they walked into a classroom?

I’m like 99% sure that the Voltron paladins would have done that while on the Castle. I mean, four of them are teenagers and we all know that Shiro isn’t above acting a little immature to humor them if he really wants to. And Allura and Coran would just watch them, because it happens every time they walk into a room. Eventually they think it’s some kind of weird human custom, and they end up doing it too. No one has to heart to tell them the truth.

instagram

From bubbls_slime on instagram!

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They look so weird with their coats off what is this-
XD

Chapter 3: Encounters

>Pages 166 - 167<

>Previous
>Next

>Beginning

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So last night I was watching Villainous and noticed that redheaded kid when Dr. Fung was running to shut off the security system for Black Hat. I was like “He looks really familiar…”

Then it hit me and I can’t believe Brief from Panty and Stocking made a cameo in this show.

So this is a comparison of Yuzuru’s routine before his short and free skate. Basically he did every step his routine with the same timing both times (and probably every other time >___< WOW):

  1. Stretch at the board
  2. Lift his hands when his name is called
  3. Make the cross sign with his hands (to remind himself to keep axis straight in jumps)
  4. Stretch his shoulder (imitate jump take-off)
  5. Put his hands togetherb

They even joke that though Yuzuru’s routine is the same, the cameraman’s routine (angle of camera) is not the same XD

“Who is that? Who is that!?” Junior barked. He was up on his hind legs as he pressed his face against the front window which looked out on Kent’s drive way. “Who is that?”

“Who?” Kit said lazily without bothering to crack an eyelid from where she was sprawled.

“Him! That guy!” Junior pawed frantically at the glass. “He’s with Kent. Who is he?”

“Are you really going to bark at everyone that comes to the house?”

Junior didn’t reply, and instead, scrambled down from the back of the couch and dashed towards the door just as Kent unlocked it. “Hey, buddy,” came Kent’s voice from the front hall mixed with Junior’s excited yips.

“I cannot believe you actually got a dog, Parser.” Kit frowned as she recognized that voice.

“What? You really didn’t believe me when I said I adopted a puppy?”

“Honestly, you’re weird enough that I half expected to find your cat dressed up in a dog costume.”

Kent’s snort was audible. “Give me some credit here, Swoops.”

“I am giving you credit.”

The voices faded as they drifted into the kitchen with Junior presumably following them. Kit rolled over onto her feet, debating whether she wanted to hide under Kent’s bed or in the unfolded pile of laundry currently in Kent’s closet.

Unfortunately, she took too long to decide, and Kent and Swoops came into the living room, each holding drink, before she could escape. Junior trailed after them adoringly. Kent, at least, stopped to scratch Kit’s head. She had quickly darted up the cat tree and was currently glaring at them from the top tier.

“So, let me guess, the dog’s named after you too?” Swoops said as leaned down to rub Junior’s ears.

“No,” Kent scoffed unconvincingly. “What would make you think that?”

“Your cat,” Swoops said dryly, “is named Kit Purrson.”

“His name is Junior,” Kent responded in mock outrage.

Swoops narrowed his eyes at Kent. “Kent Parson Junior?”

It turned into a staring contest between them, but it was Kent who broke first. “Yes,” he reluctantly admitted. When Swoops started laughing, Kent threw a cushion at him. “Fuck off,” he grumbled.

Junior had managed to scramble onto the couch with them. He had his front paws on Swoops’ thigh as he gazed lovingly up at him. His tail was an excited blur, not even caring that he was whacking Kent’s arm each time he wagged it back and forth. “At least your dog is friendly.”

“Kit’s friendly too,” Kent said, coming to Kit’s defense. He had been randomly flipping through the channels before landing on a rerun episode of a home improvement show with the host that Kit knew Kent had a crush on.

“Dude, your cat hates me,” Swoops said

“She hates you the least,” Kent reassured.

He was right though. If had been anyone else, Kit wouldn’t even be in the room. Swoops was the most tolerable of Kent’s raucous team mates. At least, he’d never drunkenly tried to roughhouse with her like a dog.

Their conversation drifted to other topics, and soon, Kit got bored and fell asleep. When she woke again, the living room was quiet. Yawning, she hopped down and padded quietly over the couch where Kent and Swoops were sprawled out on the sectional.

She had every intention of pawing her human’s face so he could get up and dish out her dinner, but stopped short when Junior perked up when she got closer. He was nestled next to a lightly snoring Kent, but made no move to leave the warm space.

“They’re asleep,” he whispered loudly, as if it wasn’t already obvious.

Kit snorted. “I can see that.”

Junior glanced over Swoops who was ungracefully drooling into a cushion. “I think Kent likes Swoops,” he said conspiratorially, as if it was some big revelation.

Kit rolled her eyes, and had to remind herself Junior hadn’t been around the last two years to suffer through Kent’s unsubtle, long glances and the unconscious smiles that lingered whenever Swoops came around.

Both Junior and Kit were quiet as they took in Kent’s soft expression. “I want him to be happy,” Junior finally said.

“Me too,” Kit sighed.


More Kit and Junior adventures here