Harass my daughter on Minecraft? You can't hide from me.

So, my daughter, who was about 8 at the time, was REALLY into Minecraft (as most kids are these days). Also desperately wanting to join the Youtube/Let’s Play culture, I had installed some screen recording software that would let her make videos of the games she was playing so she could later upload them to Youtube.

Anyways, one day I’m minding my own business when I hear her quietly sniffling over on the computer. I asked her what was wrong, but she didn’t want to tell me so I let it go, but decided to keep on eye on her. A few minutes later I discovered what was happening; someone was harassing not only her, but also all the other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we’ll call him Little Sh*thead, or LS) was saying sh*t about how he was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time I had gotten my fiance involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little sh*t this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form.

I started by googling LS’s username. There were several hits immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS: he claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact info; it was literally firstname.lastname. I know your name now, you little sh*t.

So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing. Hmmmm. On a hunch I searched for just the last name, while narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until I find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SH*T.

So I sent him a message on Facebook, asking if he had a son named firstname who goes by his username on Minecraft. Dad confirmed I had the right guy. So my wife begins telling the dad everything that LS was saying to my daughter, and we sent him the recorded video as proof. Radio silence for a few days.

Then we got the message back: LS had his computer taken away from him for the entire summer, and had also been lying about his age (he was only 11, I think). His parents were f*cking livid with him, and he surely hated the next few months of his life.

No one f*cks with my daughter.

Pro and Con of Dating the Signs

Aries: Pro: Will defend you against anyone who tries to hurt you Con: SUPER defensive

Taurus: Pro: Will provide you absolutely anything you need Con: Clingy

Gemini: Pro: Playful and motherly. Makes sure you have a good time Con: Seems really distant 

Cancer: Pro: A sarcastic teddy bear Con: Mood changes very .2 seconds

Leo: Pro: Loves themselves and makes sure you love yourself Con: Wants to be the alpha in the relationship. Always.

Virgo: Pro: Super encouraging in whatever you do Con: Never stops talking about their problems

Libra: Pro: Very gentle around you, loves cuddles Con: Flaky. You don’t know when you’re gonna be able to spend time with them

Scorpio: Pro: Never leaves you on read, always makes sure to tell you that you’re enough Con: Trust issues

Sagittarius: Pro: Down for anything Con: Down for anything when they have time for you

Capricorn: Pro: Will hold you when you cry Con: Do you even have a soul

Aquarius: Pro: Once they open up, your bond is 10x better Con: You’ve got to keep up with with their crazy schedule

Pisces: Pro: Bakes you cookies and listens to you Con: Freaks out over everything

enemy reinhardt: unstoppable wall, whole team is standing behind him, shield never goes down but his hammer does like every five seconds, potg

me as reinhardt: shield made out of tissue paper, my team is on the other side of the map, soldier 76 is moved to pity by my friendless state and stands in front of me in an effort to shield me with his body

Your bad driving caused you to not get hired.

(warning: long story)

Background: I work for a construction company that has many divisions but I work in the new construction section. I’ve been working at this company for about 5 years but actually worked along with my Dad who had 30+ years at the same company. Because of his long tenure in not only the field but with the company I got a lot of inside perks. I created a lot of very beneficial professional relationships through him. My dad recently became very sick (suffering from liver and throat cancer stage 4) and had to stop coming to work. My Dad and I were the only office guys in the department, so once he stepped away I became number 1 guy in the department, making all the decisions. This detail will come into play later.

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