private farm

Zayn opens up about conquering touring anxiety, prepping album No. 2 – and why he’s been living on a farm

There aren’t many places in New York, or anywhere else for that matter, that feel as cocooned from the ­outside world as the live room in Electric Lady’s Studio A. Designed to Jimi Hendrix’s ­specifications, the curvy space is stocked with shiny vintage gear, faded Persian rugs and a cosmic, wall-sized mural. On this Sunday night in September, a little after 9 p.m., the room’s sole occupant is a slight, ­strikingly handsome 24-year-old, whose unique ­combination of global fame and acute anxiety can make life outside of insulated creative oases like this one ­challenging, and who is currently kicked back on an overstuffed leather sofa, pulling ­meditatively from a joint and watching the smoke curl toward the sound-­deadened ceiling.

For the last nine months, Zayn Malik – who in his solo career goes by his first name – has lived in similar womblike rooms in New York, Los Angeles, London and even rural Pennsylvania (more on that later), ­crafting the follow-up to his debut solo LP, Mind of Mine, which bowed at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 last spring and spawned the Billboard Hot 100-topping ­single “Pillowtalk,” which has racked up over 750 million YouTube spins. That album, with its Frank Ocean-esque ­moodiness, bedroom vocals and, “Pillowtalk” aside, resistance to radio-friendly sonics, demarcated a clear line between Malik’s grown-up second act and his beyond-famous first one.

Seven years ago, Malik was plucked at age 17 from a small city in Northern England, teamed up with four other boys as One Direction and ­tornado-ed into the most intense global teen craze endured by a crew of British kids since Beatlemania. The ­experience left him unmoored – he abruptly quit the group in 2015 – and as a solo artist, he’s devoted to serving his own muse. In the 18 months since the release of his debut LP, he has deepened his ­relationship with his supermodel girlfriend, Gigi Hadid, started taking better care of his health, corralled collaborators ­including Taylor Swift and Sia, and determinedly honed his sound. For an artist so shaken by his time in One Direction that he has yet to launch a tour, the intensely private star has found a way to navigate, even thrive, in his highly public life. Or, as Malik himself puts it, “I don’t do things that I wouldn’t buy into. I try to explain that to people and hope that they understand – it doesn’t come from a place of being arrogant or above anything.”

It’s probably not intentional, but Malik seems dressed to match the room in an ­outfit you can easily picture Paul McCartney rocking in the early 1970s: a dark-red cable-knit sweater that looks both cozy and off-the-charts expensive, a subtly ­patterned button-down shirt, earth-toned, jean-cut pants and a pair of black Chelsea boots. His left hand is covered in a ­mandala-like tattoo; his right is adorned with a pair of red lips ­billowing smoke. His hair, which evidently grows quickly, has already returned to an ­appealing fuzz less than a week after he made headlines ­worldwide by ­shaving it bald. He’s in New York to take some meetings and work on the album, but the trip also lines up with New York Fashion Week, which means that he and Hadid get to be in the same place at the same time. The pair, says Malik, “pretty much live together,” whether it’s at his homes in Los Angeles and London or at her pad in New York. “It’s actually not that hard for us [to line up schedules],” he says. “It helps that she’s really organized. Thank God! Because I’m really not, so she helps organize my ­schedule around seeing her.” (Hadid is also one of a small group of people, including Malik’s parents, siblings and management team, who get to hear in-progress music. “She’s in the studio quite a lot,” he says cheerfully. “She likes to cook for me and stuff – when I’m here late, she’ll come down and bring me food. She’s cool.”)

The new album, says Malik, mines two main moods: one more rhythmic and pop, the other more downtempo. “The last album veered into a much more nighttime kind of thing,” says Peter Edge, chairman/CEO of Malik’s label, RCA. “This one is more of a mix than that.” The young star has been back in the studio with ­his first album’s main ­collaborator, Malay, well known for his work on Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange and Blonde. Veteran ­producers like Timbaland and Rob Cavallo have contributed, and Malik also has made a bunch of songs largely by ­himself. He has been toiling away at the disc for months, blowing past deadline after deadline; ­originally slated for a late-­September release, the album now won’t be out until the first quarter of 2018.

I got a preview of two tracks in late October. The first, which is built around Malik’s velvet vocals, a heartrending ­melody and spare, sonar-plink sonics builds – and improves – on his debut album’s sound. The other, all synths and ­effortless vocals, feels directly aimed at pop fans’ ­pleasure centers. “What impresses me about Zayn is the vision he has for his music,” says Timbaland. “How he looks at it, takes his time with it – just really thinks it out.”

Most recently, Malik has been ­collaborating with a musician that his management declines to name, saying only that he’s “unknown,” from Brazil and that Malik met him through friends. “I think I’m like 90 percent of the way there,” says Malik in September of the LP’s process. “But I’m still working on stuff and trying to decide what goes on the album and what comes off.”

Cavallo, who worked with Malik and a killer crew of session vets to grow a spare, downtempo demo into a Michael Jackson-inspired funk-rock tune, was most impressed by the young star’s calibrated ear. “He kind of reminds me of when I was in the studio with Fleetwood Mac,” says Cavallo. “His instinctive impulse to know what’s good or not good is like an ­incredibly precise laser beam. He knows which lyric to sing, he knows when the guitar part is good, he knows when the beat is right. It’s all right there at his fingertips.”

In person, Malik is polite, friendly and willing to answer ­questions. But he’s not exactly a chatterbox, and he’s more likely to reply ­cryptically than with a concrete ­anecdote. Even softball questions ­sometimes elicit strange responses, like when I brought up a recent Instagram post of his that ­compared two images of Game of Thrones’ Iron Throne – one as it’s depicted in the books, the other as it is in the show – along with the caption “Tru.” (The throne is apparently described in print as taller and spikier.) So he must be a huge fan of the show, right? “Ah, I’m not too into Game of Thrones,” he says, ­shrugging. “I just put that picture up because [it ­represents] the difference between a book and a movie. The ­overproduction of things is always hilarious.”

There is at least one HBO series that he genuinely loves. “I watched Girls – the whole thing,” he says. In fact, one of the stars of that show, Jemima Kirke, appears in the action-blockbuster-style video for the new album’s lead single, “Dusk Till Dawn,” which features guest vocals from Sia and is more full-bore pop than ­anything on Mind of Mine. Malik thought Kirke seemed cool and reached out to see if she’d be ­interested in playing his femme fatale co-star in the video, which was directed by Marc Webb, who helmed the 2012 Spider-Man reboot. In its first day, “Dusk Till Dawn” got over 10 million views on YouTube. Malik was enthused by the ­reception, in part because he wrote much of the song ­himself. (The video raises another ­question: Does he have any ­interest in ­acting? “I do, yeah,” he says. “It would have to be a good script and something that was a bit ­different, like an art movie. Something people wouldn’t expect.”) Malik’s a huge admirer of Sia, not only for her talent as a singer and hitmaker, but also for the way she has ­navigated the perils of celebrity and figured out how to perform live, ­on her own terms.

Malik ­himself has yet to tour – or even play a single major concert – since he left One Direction. During the last two years, he has canceled shows in London, Dubai and Japan, citing extreme anxiety. “The band was like being in the army for him,” notes his manager, Sarah Stennett, adding that the last few years have been a time for Malik to recalibrate. “You lose your sense of intuition and instinct about what you really need, and what’s right for you.”

In Zayn, an autobiography-slash-photo book he published in 2016, Malik made it clear that his time with 1D wasn’t just ­stressful – it was damaging to his mental health. He opened up about having ­developed an eating disorder triggered by the endless grind and total lack of ­anything resembling a normal life. “I’d just go for days – sometimes two or three days straight – without eating anything at all,” he wrote. “Food was something I could control, so I did.”

Today, he insists that he’s in a much better place. “I’m taking things at my own pace, eating well, not going too crazy,” he says with a wry little laugh. “Making sure we have dinnertime.” (He’s clearly not on a rabid health kick, though. At one point a member of his team delivers a pack of Marlboro Lights, and he spends several minutes trying to get one lit by holding it in his hand and toasting the end with a lighter.) One of the ways that Malik has achieved a more serene mind space has been by ­spending much of this ­summer and fall in the last place any fan would think to look for him – on a working farm in rural Pennsylvania, with a private studio nearby. “[The farm] is just out of the way and feels grounded,” he says. “There’s not a lot of things around. I do a lot of farm work.” Really? “Yeah, yeah, I take the horses out and feed the cows and that kind of stuff. It’s cool. I’ve always been ­interested in animals.”

The farm reminds him, he says, of the countryside around Bradford, England, the town between Leeds and Liverpool where he grew up. A rotating crew of friends, family and collaborators – including Hadid – join him in Pennsylvania and listen to music and offer opinions. Zayn’s father, Yaser Malik, a British-Pakistani hip-hop fan, gravitates toward lyrically ­sophisticated songs. “He likes the more meaningful ones,” says Malik. “He’ll be like, ‘Read more, do this, work on this lyric.’” His mom, Tricia Malik, who ­converted to Islam before she married Yaser, “likes anything that’s clubby and upbeat. She’s hilarious to me. All of what I call my proper ratchet songs, she loves.” He cracks a big grin and laughs.

Malik isn’t the only ­prominent Muslim star in music – rappers from Ice Cube to Q-Tip share the faith – but his religion was one of the clear ­markers of difference between him and his 1D bandmates. He has made a few ­tentative political gestures around his religion (including tweeting the hashtag #freepalestine in 2014) but generally avoids the topic of intolerance in the era of Donald Trump and Brexit. He’s ­cheerful when talking about his father’s family’s culture, though. Malik understands Urdu, although when he speaks the language, it’s a ­hodgepodge of Urdu and English and slang. He has never been to Pakistan but is ­interested in visiting someday. And he’s a fan of Pakistani food, music, poetry and movies. “My grandparents would always have that going on the TV,” he says. “So I’m pretty in the know.”

According to Malik, he no longer has any contact with former 1D bandmates Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Niall Horan or Louis Tomlinson, all of whom have also released solo music in 2017. He says this without malice, and if he feels ­competitive with his old crew, he’s certainly not letting on. “Our relationships have definitely changed since we were in a band together, but I think that’s just life,” he says. “Everybody grows up; two of the guys have got kids now. But no, I don’t talk to any of them, really.”

It might help that he has edged out the others on the Hot 100, especially when you count “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever,” the No. 2 smash that he recorded for the Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack with Taylor Swift – another artist for whom he has major respect. He personally recruited Swift, who is tight with Hadid, for the track. “I worked with her because I felt like she was the right artist for the song,” says Malik. “And of course she’s also a massive artist, so that brings its benefits. I get to let her fans know that I’m doing this kind of music, and she lets her fans know she likes my kind of music – there’s no opposition, for real. Everybody can like everybody’s music.”

While nothing has been booked yet, Malik is planning on launching a major tour behind the new album. His anxiety around performing, he explains, wasn’t just a 1D hangover – some of it came from not ­having figured out how to do a solo show that felt natural, especially with only one album’s worth of material from which to draw. “Like, there were a lot of upbeat dance [songs on the album], and I don’t dance, so it would have required a lot of extra dancers and stuff going on, and I don’t necessarily want to do that.” (Fans hoping to hear Malik perform 1D hits, as they can on Styles’ recently launched tour, are likely to be disappointed.)

Part of the solution, it turns out, came from that session with Cavallo and ­seeing how one of his studio creations could take on new life with a great band. “It definitely helped identify in my own mind where I want to be as an entertainer,” says Malik. “For a long time I’ve struggled with, ‘Where is Zayn as a performer?’ I don’t want [my show] to be too eccentric or out there, because I’m not that kind of ­personality. I’m quite a reserved person, and I feel like [the vibe of that session] sort of fits me and what I want to do onstage.”

Near the end of our time together, I ­gently float an idea: “If there are any songs you’d feel comfortable playing for me,” I ­suggest, “I’d love to hear them.” Malik seems totally into it. “Yeah, of course, man,” he says emphatically. “Cool. I’ll play some stuff.” He gets up from the sofa and heads to the ­studio door. “I’m just going to get the songs off my manager.” I tell him I appreciate it. “No worries, bro,” he says, before he disappears through the door. And then, in probably the most Zayn-like move of the night, he never comes back.


Famous people of Basque descent

Buenaventura Durruti (León 1896 - Madrid 1936), was a Spanish antifa anarchist.

He’s better known for his role in the Spanish Civil War, where he gathered lots of militia men in what was later known as “the Durruti column”. These men were peasants and hadn’t enough weapons to free Zaragoza, so they liberated all the surrounding areas: they abolished private property, collectivised farms, and established communism with a huge popular support.

With more and more militia men in the column, he headed towards Madrid, where he was shot dead. His death remains a mystery even nowadays, since we don’t know for sure if he was killed by fascists, anarchists who didn’t like him, Trotskyists,… he sure had lots of enemies.

His surname, Durruti, comes from Iparralde. It’s the Spanish form of French D’Urruti, that is, “of the Urruti family”. Urruti means “far away” in Euskara.

Here’s a quote of his that can very well describe nowadays situation:

No government fights against fascism to destroy it. When bourgeoises see that power slips through their hands, they raise fascism to maintain their privileges.

We’re sure @serialcomposer loves this guy ^_~.


Some people are able to hurl themselves blindly into the unknown. I am not one of them, so here are some websites I’ve found invaluable.

  • Discount airlines (Ryanair, Wizzair, Wow Air, Easyjet): most of them have flexible date options showing the cheapest days for flights. Wow Air can get you across the Atlantic (Boston-Rekjavik-Destination) for as low as $160, and the others have flights around Europe from about €15.
  • Skyscanner: the only flight search engine I know that includes discount flights. Also lets you scan an entire month for flight prices.
  • Student Universe: a flight search engine that finds student fares for flights. It doesn’t include discount flights, but it does have a useful date grid showing the cheapest dates for round trip or one-way flights within a week.
  • Eurail: the Eurail Pass site, with all the maps and pass types and rules.
  • Drungli: the flight search to use if you’re feeling spontaneous. You tell it when you’re going or where you’re going, but not both. It will find you the cheapest tickets for that destination or date. This is the ‘I guess I’m going to Estonia this Friday’ website.
  • Hostelbookers and Hostelworld: the best websites for finding and booking hostels. Both have extensive databases of hostels, a lot of useful filters, and good review systems. Hostelbookers, in my experience, finds better deals. Hostelworld is a bit easier to use.
  • Couchsurfing: The couchsurfing website. You don’t need a profile to browse people’s profiles and reviews, but you do need one to see the descriptions of their homes. Signing up is free. If you do make a profile, fill it out as thoroughly as you can.
  • AirBnB: You don’t need an account to browse, but I believe you need one to make a booking. Signing up is free. It has a really useful map with a price slider you can adjust; only rooms within your chosen price range are visible on the map of the city.
  • Rome 2 Rio: An amazing A to B website. When you plug in where you are and where you want to end up, it shows you all the possible ways to get from one to the other. In the sidebar it lists options using every available combination of train, plane, bus, taxi, and ferry, as well as estimated times, distances, and prices. Invaluable for planning a trip. Not a booking website, but it can help you get some idea of your options, and the time you should expect to spend traveling.
  • Wikitravel: the most comprehensive travel guide you’ll ever find. Although it can be dry, it has articles for pretty much anywhere you could hope to go. It has the usual travel guide items like descriptions of culturally significant attractions and dishes, but it also has everything else you’ll ever need. For each city, it will tell you how to get to and from the airport, how to use the public transportation system, what scams to look out for, what behaviors locals find rude, local attitudes towards LGBTQ people, activities and cultural events off the beaten path, advice for attending school or finding work, and a brief history of the city and its regions. It has everything.
  • Who To Tip: an index of when and how much tipping is expected, broken down by country. If, like me, you’re terrified of insulting your nice waiter by tipping them (or not tipping them), this is a good website to have before you eat out in any new country.
  • Google Translate: wherever you’re going, try to memorize hello, please, thank you, help, and excuse me in the local language. It will let you mumble through a shocking amount of crowds, admissions, and restaurants. In most countries, the locals will appreciate it.
  • Workaway: A great option if you want to stay in a city or country for longer than just a few days, Workaway connects you with businesses looking for volunteers. In exchange for what is usually about 20 hours/week, you get free accommodation and often meals (what you work and what you receive vary by host). The jobs vary from hostels to farms to private yachts. I prefer this to WWOOF, because the review system and profile give a better idea of what to expect. Just two things: there is a $30 fee for a 2-year account, and for legal purposes technically it is ‘adventure tourism’ rather than a job.

Luctor et Emergo – Chapter 1

The Empire reigns over wizarding England, despite the resistence of many brave members of the Alliance. As Jyn Erso enters Hogwarts, she’s forced to choose a side: stay in the shadows and allow whatever her father is designing come to life, or stand against the atrocities of bloody purity and fight for what she knows is right?

[Hogwarts AU]

Read on AO3 / Below the Cut

Next Chapter 

(Special thanks to @valcain for the graphic and @wearesuchstuff1 for beta reading! Author’s Note here)

Keep reading

Over 25 horses died at a race track last night, and even more are dying of burn wounds as I speak. Me and my mom are rushing to the evacuation area with as many vet supplies as we can afford, and stuff for the people. There is 25 dead horses at the SINGLE RACETRACK, which means there are many more on private farms that we don’t know about. Please keep me and the horses in your prayers.

anonymous asked:

I work a full time job driving a medium sized truck delivering potatos to local grocers from private farms. So i'm a potato truck driver as a living, should i be ashamed of this?

Of course not, you’re providing a valuable service and improving the lives of all the people who now get to eat more local potatoes, which are objectively the best vegetable.

@gallows-walker look at this hero

hey in case anyone was concerned about the level of documentary realism i strive to provide in my fanfiction, pls be aware that zayn is in fact a working farmer who chills with cows

One of the ways that Malik has achieved a more serene mind space has been by ­spending much of this ­summer and fall in the last place any fan would think to look for him – on a working farm in rural Pennsylvania, with a private studio nearby. “[The farm] is just out of the way and feels grounded,” he says. “There’s not a lot of things around. I do a lot of farm work.” Really? “Yeah, yeah, I take the horses out and feed the cows and that kind of stuff. It’s cool. I’ve always been ­interested in animals.”

Santiago Canyon College felsefe bölümünden Brandon Rickabaugh'un hazırladığı film listesi

septisizm ve radikal aldanma

the matrix
waking life
the truman show
the thirteenth floor
vanilla sky
total recall
the city of lost children

iyi bir insan olma üzerine

vanilla sky
open your eyes
the matrix
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

estetik değerler-ahlaki değerler/sanatın doğası

the shape of things

varoluşsal /görevler üzerine

les miserables

determinizm, özgür irade ve ahlak

minority report
matrix reloaded
donnie darko
the manchurian candidate


the ballad of cable hogue

ölüm cezası

dead man walking
dancer in the dark
mr. death
the life of david gale

totaliterizm, gerçeğin bitişi

animal farm
we the living
fahrenheit 451
stolen years
eternal memory

bireysel kimlik

the man with two brains
the bourne identity
being john malkovich
dark city
who is julia?
total recall
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
ghost in the shell

hayatın anlamı

wild strawberries
stealing heaven
the fisher king
the meaning of life
ghost world
o lucky man
slc punk!
on the beach
leaving las vegas

günah ve kefaret

the fisher king

genel etik

breaking the waves
dead man walking
seven samurai
the confession
crimes and misdemeanors
the shop on main street
mr. klein
transport from paradise
private schultz
animal farm
groundhog day
high noon
quiz show
angel heart
the vanishing
the doctor
alexandre le bienheureux
a man for all seasons
the verdict
fort apache the bronx
boyz in the hood
do the right thing
angels & insects
the ox-bow incident
el norte
lord of the flies
after life
crimson tide


matrix revolutions
matrix reloaded
tüm bergman filmleri
mulholland drive
lost highway

din felsefesi

bruce almighty
the last temptation of christ
life of brian
what dreams may come
winter light
agnes of god
leap of faith
jesus of montreal
inherit the wind
day of wrath

inanç vs. sebep

inherit the wind
au hazard balthazar

nietzsche'nin ahlak şeceresi


dürüstlük erdemi

kate and leopold
lonely are the brave
the man who shot liberty valence
breaking the waves

bireycilik/ahlaki risk

spider-man 2

doğanın yazılı olmayan kanunları

lord of the flies
matrix revolutions

faydacılık ve uluslararası siyaset


görelilik ve gerçek

hilary and jackie
requiem for a dream

kötülük problemi

bruce almighty
the rapture
the seventh sign
dangerous liaisons
sling blade
dancer in the dark


tüm bergman filmleri
leaving los vegas
love and death
crimes and misdemeanors
rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead
the addiction
i heart huckabees

mantık/eleştirel düşünce

twelve angry men
the usual suspects

savaş etiği

the thin red line
saving private ryan
full metal jacket
kelly’s heroes
‘breaker’ morant
dr. strangelove
all my sons

aklın felsefesi

mind walk


what the bleep do we know!?

kavramsal düşüncenin önemi

rain man


quiz show
jacob the liar
extreme measures
crimes and misdemeanors

insan hakları

in the name of the father
the battle of algiers
schindler’s list

back-to-bassics  asked:

Pluto, Betelgeuse, and comet

Pluto: What time is it right now where you are?
Clock reads 19:39

Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about?
Willingly? That one time my friend almost fell off the stage and I was laughing to hard to help her right away
Unwillingly? When it comes down to it, I cannot save my loved ones, nor myself

Comet: What’s your big dream?
Dreams are whimsical things, so living up high on a mountain by the sea on my private farm in a cabin with my six generations of cats and 14,000 flutes (and others). Levi is there

anonymous asked:

First time Sole tells companions that they love them.

Here you go Nonnie. Enjoy <3


Cait had- for some reason unknown to Sole- wanted to go back to the Combat Zone. Sole told Cait that they had her back, and the pair made their way out through the Commonwealth.

Sole watched as Cait pushed open the heavy doors to the place she had once called her home. Sole watched a Cait slowly made her way inside, taking small but confident steps. The pair entered the Combat Zone, and made their way down so that they were stood in front of the cage. Sole felt movement next to them, and watched as Cait grabbed a bat that had been left leaning against a wall by a raider and started smashing her way through the build, causing complete destruction in her path.  Sole wanted to interrupt, to prevent Cait from being able to hurt herself, but knew that Cait needed to do this.

After five minutes of uninterrupted destruction, Cait threw herself to the ground, sobbing deeply into her hands. Sole slowly made her way over, rubbing Cait on the back, before kneeling down and cradling Cait’s head into their chest.

“I love you” It was soft and quiet, and Cait wasn’t sure if she had heard correctly. It was an unfamiliar feeling for Cait, she’d never had someone love her before. It made her feel slightly uncomfortable.

Anger she could cope with; she’d just smashed up the Combat Zone. Hostility she could cope with; she just laughed and moved on to the next person. But Love was different. It presented ideas of selfishnessless, of insecurities. It presented Cait with a future full of calm. A future full of Sole. and Cait was happy with that.


“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment”

Sole thought back to the days when they had English Literature as a subject in school. The class had received an assignment to find a quote from a book that they hadn’t quite understood and explained the reason behind it. Sole had found the quote and thought; love doesn’t just happen. Or does it?

They’d believed not, but one day had felt a shift in the relationship between themselves and Curie. It was as if one day they had woken up and the sun was shining at Curie. Pointing towards Curie. This is a new day: Curie.

Sole had felt the heartbeat. It throbbed in their chest, screaming at them. True love does happen. It happens accidentally. Sole crossed the room to where Curie was standing, grabbing her hand and pulling her into their chest.

“I…” how did it happen? It doesn’t happen remember. “I love you.” Sole was wrong. It does happen. In a heartbeat.


It hurt Sole to see Danse hurt. To see him upset. To see Danse think of himself as nothing more than the dirt on their shoe. To see him on Sole’s sofa, head in hands as he sobbed.

Sole remembered how their mother had sat them down one day when they had asked her what Love was. “It’s heartache…” she’d started. “It’s a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own” It didn’t surprise Sole. Sure, their marriage before the war had been sweet, and Sole knew that they had loved Nate/Nora. But this was different.

This felt truer, it felt purer. This love, so deep in Sole’s very being. All for one person, one person who hated everything about himself.

Sole took a step towards, gripping the sides of his head and bringing his face up so that they faced each other. Sole knelt down, resting in between Danse’s legs, before they brought their lips up to his face.

Sole began placing kisses across his face. First his eyes. “I…” his nose. “Love…” his lips. “You…” Sole pulled away, looking into his eyes. “I love you Danse”


Sole had once told Deacon that we accept the Love we think we deserved. Sole had told him this because they said their heart ached at the thought of Deacon believing that he didn’t deserve love.

Sole had told him that they would spend everyday for the rest of their lives telling him and showing him just how much they loved him. But they knew that Deacon would never think that he deserved that love.

Sole knew that the only way that Deacon would ever truly accept the love that they gave him would be for him to love himself. And the Deacon they knew now didn’t love himself. ‘How do you love yourself when you are at rock bottom’, he’d told them with a grin. If he’d had his sunglasses off his face then Sole would have seen the look in his eye. The heartbroken one.

One day. Sole had told themselves that one day, Deacon would realise that he was truly loved. But until that day came around they would show him. Everyday until the end of time.


When Sole was growing up, their mother had told them something. Something that had stuck.

“…As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soulmate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”

Their marriage to Nora/Nate had come about because they had ended up pregnant. Both their parents would disown them had they found out that Shaun was not planned within wedlock. So they had married, and put on an act of loving husband and wife, mother and father.

Sole had kept their head up and had kept smiling, even when it had got really tough.

Sole never expected that they would experience true love. And then they’d met some crazy knife loving ghoul named Hancock. What happened there, someone had asked Sole. But Sole wasn’t sure.

Sole knew that Hancock would never break their heart- he wouldn’t even try. Sole knew that Hancock wouldn’t because he had been the first one to say the words.

“I love you too…” And Sole had been the one to say them back.


Sole loved MacCready the most when he was asleep. He curled one of his arms up protectively over his head, the other thrown off to a side ready to reach for his gun.

Sole thought back to a book they had read pre-war. It had been an old book, and the particular quote they had in mind was “I fall in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once”. Sole had never thought they would take the quote so literally.

It wasn’t just the way MacCready fell asleep that made them love him; it was the sarcastic chatty backchat. It was the way that he always burnt the food that he made, and told them that he was ‘supposed to do that’. It was the way that he tried to outdrink them, never once had he succeeded, but he tried to. It was the way that when their limbs tangled together in a bedroll he would always snuggle (“It ain’t snuggling”) close to Sole’s body. It was the way his abs felt under their hand; now that was love.

But maybe the way he fell asleep was the best. Sole ran a hand slowly up his body to rest across his heart, whispering softly into his hair.

“I love you Mac” Sole didn’t feel the way that his lips raised in a smile, but sure, Sole would love that about him too.


Sole’s best friend- and by best friend they meant Marilyn Monroe- had once said that:

“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.”

Nick had lived his life trying to convince everyone around him that he wasn’t a real man. Look at me, he’d cry when someone would question him.

But whenever Sole was alone with him he’d kiss them lightly on the forehead. Or whenever a client would walk out a door he’d turn and just stare into Sole’s eyes, silently helping each other process the new case. Or at night, they’d make their way onto the roof of the agency, and Sole would watch as Nick would literally stare into space watching the stars.

It had been under the stars that Sole had admitted to him their feelings. The love that they had for him ran deeper that they had once thought, and they needed him to know. He was happy to admit that he loved them back.


Piper loved it when Sole would sit down with her and talk about the different types of books that they had in their time. Sole would tell her the plot for the books: there was this one book about a little man with a ring she loved, but her favourite was about a guy with no nose (So this guy whose-name-must-not-be-spoken was a ghoul but a ghoul before the radiation?) and and a lizard (no Piper, a wizard) boy.

One of Sole’s favourite quotes had come from that book, they had told Piper one night.

“What was it?” Piper remembers asking.

“Always” It had confused Piper. It was just a word. A word that was used in everyday conversations. She had asked for it in context.

Piper I love you…” Sole looked Piper in the eyes. “After all this time?” Piper understood.

“Always” Piper replied.  


Sole and Preston had returned to a settlement after eliminating a group of raiders that had stopped nearby (‘Near-by’ Sole had cried. ‘Near-by… more like on the fucking other side of the commonwealth’). The settlers had told them that they were grateful, and had offered the pair a bed in a private room of their farm.

They had shared a bed before. It wasn’t uncommon for them, there just wasn’t enough bedrolls for them to spare taking two out every time they left Sanctuary. Every time they were on the road, they slept in turns, one always on watch.

This however, was different. Sole had settled into the bed first, pushing themselves up against the wall, taking up as little space as possible. Preston laid in the space, his chest against their back. He held his arm stiff to his body, unsure of where to lay it, not wanting to make Sole feel uncomfortable.

He was unsure if he had heard correctly. One of the raiders had thrown a grenade that had landed close to him, so he did currently have a ringing sensation in his ear. But Sole repeated it again, reaching their arm over them to pull his across their side.

“I love you Preston”


“I have no idea why, but I bloody love you X6”

X6 knew what love was. He’d heard about it whilst travelling the Commonwealth. It was an emotion that left you weak and vulnerable. He knew that as a synth, he wouldn’t and couldn’t experience emotions.

The odd sensations he felt in his chest whenever Sole was in combat was… something unusual. The odd sensations near his heart when Sole had told him they loved him was… unfortunate… maybe he was malfunctioning.

Sole had once told him that he had the emotional range of a spoon. Each time it changed; once it was a wooden spoon. Once it was a teaspoon. One time, when he had blanked a whimpering dogmeat, they had told him he was a soup spoon.

As he looked into Sole’s eyes he realised that maybe, just maybe, the odd sensations in his chest were love. It played on his mind all day.


Over time, Sole had once told Arthur of this theory about there being multiple universes. It was a pre-war theory, they had told him. A theory that they truly did believe in.

There was already a universe that the Brotherhood had won the war in. There was one where they had lost. There was one where Sole and Maxson had married; there was one where Sole had danced at the wedding of Maxson and Danse.

Every universe has a different ending. It could be a large change, it could be small.

He had asked Sole many things about these other universes. Sole explained to him that they had no way of ever finding out. He wanted Sole to tell him which universe this one was.

Sole pulled him into them, kissing him on the lips causing the breath to leave his lungs, his mind to go blank. As he started to kiss back, they pulled away.

“This is the universe where I love you”


Des knew that she loved Sole first. She just didn’t have the time to admit it to them. So she kept it to herself.

When Sole and Deacon came back to HQ from gathering intel, Sole and Des had passed flirty looks and comments to one another. Des told Sole that Glory had requested them for a job, Deacon had looked aghast at losing his partner in crime. Des assured him that it was only a short job.

It was a short job. But it was a difficult one too. When Glory had returned, she was carrying a limp body in her arms, her shirt drenched in blood. It was Soles.

She carried Sole’s body over to Carrington’s medical table, and Des watched as Deacon ran over, a worried look on his face.

Sole’s eyes opened briefly, before they snapped shut. She mumbled something, over and over. By the time that Des realised what Sole was saying, every agent in HQ was staring at her. Sole was mumbling her name.

Des walked over and gripped one of Sole’s hands in hers; she’d never realised just how small Sole’s hands were before.

“I… L-Love you D-Des” Sole muttered, before drifting out of consciousness.

Hi guys! 

I’m moving across the country to Arizona within the next couple months aaaannddd there’s a little private farm I have access to with the CUTEST chestnut horses. 

I am excited.

Also, if you guys have any experience packing up all of your belongings and driving 3-4ish days please message me because I’m slightly terrified haha

archontem  asked:

absolutely tell me a story about the Chargers

wanna hear a story? | always accepting

“Don’t mind if I grab a seat then, ‘uh? – Your, er, Imperial Majesty.

“There was a group of scroungers infamous for wreaking havoc a few years back. Stole livestock and whatnot, that was what they’re known for anyway. “The Men of Scarlet”, is what they used to call themselves. Tore a path through the west half of the Free Marches, scaring the smalls off of farmers. Holding their kids hostage after burning their land to dust to collect a ransom. Put everyone in a real grip of fear.

“When a rich boy’s private farm got hit out in Perendale, someone finally thought they ought to do something about them. Took about half of us: me, Bull, twenty or so others, and we tracked them further west for a week straight until we found where they had been stashing maybe forty of the beasts they weren’t eating, plus all the prisoners that they hadn’t already killed. It was in a ravine, we had the advantage of surprise while they were cornered.

"We were in the process of ambushing the bastards when one of our packs ripped. See, I conditioned the Chief by then to know a cowbell means dinner time, yeah? Well, out tumbles the damn bell and the lad is scrambling to keep it from making more noise than it already has. Smacking it in the air like a cat with a toy, it’s clanging about, we’ve been spotted of course, but now the herd of druffalo those bastards took are all riled up. They’re thrashing and one sheers a bag of salt on its horn and is bucking about, tossing it onto a few of the unlucky marauders get it in the eyes. Plus, I can hear Bull’s bloody stomach growling from across their encampment.

“Having already lost the element of surprise, Bull goes and yells…” Cremisius’ voice drops into a gruff mockery. ““Start the as-SALT!” Battle was tough, yeah, but herding all those animals back was an experience. Couldn’t tell who looked more excited at the dinner bell: Bull, or those druffalo. He pouted for at least a week after. Think he bonded with the things. Sure I heard him grumble about keeping one as a mascot for us. ‘We could send it in first with a flag or something, Krem’.”

You were 28 when I was born,

Now you had 5 mouths to support

While finishing a degree too complex.

I don’t know as much as I should,

You hold in your emotions, your thoughts,

But this I do know: you love me.

5 brothers, one dead, one sister.

A farm, a private school, dreams of a doctor,

Glasses rest at the end of your nose.

You aren’t an imposing man,

But you fill the room with laughter,

Every thing can be solved like a physics problem.

The roar of the motor bike meant you were home,

You sat at the head of the table,

Looking over your kingdoms.

Now I am here and you are there,

But you will always be my father.

A. G - Dad

Tahiti Trip

Thanks to Tahiti Tourism Office we had the best VIP welcome ever in Tahiti with a group of local dancers.

Big thanks to Air Tahiti Nui for flying us from Tokyo - it takes some 12 hours, and you leave Tokyo in the afternoon and reach Tahiti Faa’a in the early morning hours. What I loved about Air Tahiti Nui was that you receive a fresh gardenia flower straight during boarding, so even during a takeoff in Tokyo you start feeling holiday mood.

Les grottes de Mara’a - Mara’a natural caves reserve.

Le Laboratoire du Formulateur (+689 87 77 37 64)  is a place where you can learn everything about moon oil, they produce moon for majority of French luxury brands, but it is also possible to follow a workshop (which we did) and create your own moon oil.

Here is how the bar of various monoi oils looks like. This oil has fantastic moisturizing proprieties on hair and skin and has been used by the locals for ages. It smells beautiful. Monoi oil is a tiare flower macerated in coconut oil. Tiare is a special Tahitian gardenia plant with beautiful white flowers.

Later in the afternoon we went to Intercontinental Tahiti to see Robert Wan pearl shop.

Tahitian black pearls.

This pearls are being farmed on private islands of French Polynesia, where the water is clear and without any traces of pollution. The pearls are created by black-lipped oysters. and carefully selected, the color is dark black or green.

The very first farmed pearls were made in Japan, where in 1888 it was discovered that if a foreign body is placed into an oyster, it will either be covered with layers of a substance called nacre, or rejected.

And in the evening back to Le Meridien Tahiti. The island life starts early and by 5pm shops close, apart from a few local bars and hotel venues. Many Tahitians go to bed around 8-9pm, and wake up very early to enjoy the beauty of the island during the daylight.

"He'll think before he Cheats" w/Colin Kaepernick and Justin Bieber For Katy...

Colin Kaepernick:

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Guest Starring: Justin Bieber

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Outfit (before):When he cheated…

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Outfit (After):you choose… You see him again…

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(Your Children):

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                You walk to you and your amazing husband of 3 years, Colin, looking for your water bottle and phone charger. You walk in to see clothes scattered around and a familiar smell, it smelled like cucumber melon and mango. You follow the path and it leads upstairs, you suddenly stop at your bedroom, where it is cracked open a little. Your eyes fill with tears when you see your best friend since you were in Kindergarten, naked and riding Colin, his head thrown back in pleasure while he is grounding his hips into her. The frantic moans break your heart piece by piece. You kicked the door open and cross your arms, shaking your head and giving off an evil smirk. They both jump off each other trying to cover their bodies; you look at your best friend to see guilt and pain written all over her face. While Colin looked sad and hanging his head in shame. No matter how hard they beg and how sorry they are, you will never trust them again.

“Katy, I-It’s not what it looks like…” The asshole speaks, he is looking at you with pain and you just shake your head and laugh evilly.

“It’s not, huh? So what she was naked and she slipped on your dick and she started moving up and down, Oh, please tell me what it looks like?” You spat with hatred and anger, you look at your friend to see she is crying and looking guilty.

“And you, I trusted you! You of all people that could do this! My best friend!” You yell crying softly while she shakes her head and tries to get up but is held down by Kaepernick. You looked shock and hurt.

“Katy, this isn't going to work out. I like Isabelle and you just got boring…I’m sorry, I love you but this ain't gonna work…” You look horrified and stare at him like he has a second head; you can’t believe how he just dropped you like that. All the late nights, all the extra practices, all the lies you believed was him with HER. You can’t look weak, you can’t break, you take a deep breath and you walk to the walk in closet. You grab as many clothes you can fit into two luggage and you walk to the bathroom to grab the rest. You have most of your stuff and walk past the sluts and put your stuff in your car. You walk back to the room to see Colin kissing Isabelle while she sits there dazed; when she saw you she immediately starts to cry. You ignore and roll your eyes as you grab your phone charger. He stops and looks at you confused, you take off your ring and toss it to her, she looks shocked and Colin looks hurt.

“Congratulations, you are now officially his new trophy wife. You get to have his pathetic, cheating ass, you get to wait up all night from his ‘late practices’, and you get to have the press calling you a home-wrecker. The one thing you lost is your self-respect, respect from others, and last but not least, you lost your best friend…” With that you walk out of the room with your friend pleading for you to come back and screaming how sorry she is. You are walking to grab a water bottle when you see a hammer, a crow bar, and some whiskey for Colin’s Jaguar, which gave you an idea. You take both of those and walk into the garage; you drive his baby out to an abandoned junk yard down the road. You get started and you blast Carrie Underwood, “Before He cheats,” on your iPod. You take your sunglasses and put them on, you take his keys and you walk to the side of his car gliding it on the sides numerous times. You smash his windows, tear up the tires, smashed both headlights, and finally you carved his name into his leather seats. You get back in to the car, making sure not to sit on glass, you drive back into the garage and you walk inside and write a letter to Colin hearing frantic yelling and screaming from Isabelle, that used be your best friend now, she is just someone you used to know. You call a cab and take it all the way to Los Angeles which is 5 hours and 25 minutes. You take your iPod out and put your headphones and listen to Carrie Underwood the entire way there…

Present Time: (2 years later)

                You are walking through the private berries farm with your close friend, Justin Bieber; you are his personal chef and friend. You worked for a large catering business and it has been booming since your divorce has been finalized about 7 months ago. When you met with your lawyers, Colin begged for you to come back, he apologized non-stop but you held your head up high and went on with it. His lawyers wanted to press charges over the car but he declined saying he deserved it and he was getting a new one. After you moved and got settled in you looked for a job and were the private chef for Justin Bieber and his friends, though his friends are barely there. Justin is a flirt and flirted with you non-stop and he made you laugh, though you are 23 and he is 20, he talked and thought like an adult.

“Hey, how do you know which ones are good and bad?” He asked trying to grab some blueberries of the bush. You laugh as you see he is making a face and is struggling to get some off. You look by the color and you see the perfect bush over at the end. The leaves are green and look healthy. You tell Justin you will be over there and he agrees, not before winking and kissing your cheek softly. You blush and run over to the bush. You lightly pull the berries off and you smile, after all the hell and high water, you are finally happy with your life. You get up and turn to grab some more when you hit a hard chest, you look up and you cringe in disgust but your heart swells with love.


“Katy…” He breathes and he looks a mess. He looks like hasn’t shaved in a month and you see he has dark circles and bags under his eyes. He looks so happy but his face fills with so much regret and you look away to stop the tears from building. You shake your head and look up at him with an emotionless face and ask.

“What are you doing here?” You sigh, crossing your arms over you dress to cover the cleavage. He looks taken aback but picks up his shoulders and his eyes soften.

“I’m here for a Camp Taylor event and I have to pick berries for the kids for their lunch tomorrow. I also came to see how you are and if we can talk about things.” He says taking a step forward and you take one back.

“There is nothing to talk about. You break my heart and it seemed like you didn’t even care, you slept with my ex-best friend, and now you have the nerve to come here and ruin my happiness with a bullshit apology?” You say with sass lacing your voice, ever since he broke your heart, you did things differently. You are still the very sweet and bubbly girl that many people know and love, but now if people mess with you, you are strong and confident and will tell how things are, unlike how you used to be: a pushover. He looks so guilty; tears start to well up in his sweet, brown eyes, making your eyes soften.

“I know I deserve that but please let me explain all of it…” You scoff.

“You fucked her and god knows how many girls behind my back for months? Years?” You interject and turn to walk away, he grabs your upper-arm lightly and you freeze. You gently pull away. At that moment you realize that none of this healthy and you want this to end between you and Colin. You want a clean slate and to end the constant bickering between you and Colin once and for all.

“Okay, I will talk to you but only to end this…You were clearly not ready for marriage and I was too naïve to see that. I want a clean slate and to stop the arguing and hatred towards each other.  I want to start a family, have a great career, to be happy without having that guilt and that sadness with you during that time of happiness. I will meet you today, at the park at 6:00, I will be all ears and you should be too. I forgive you Colin but I cannot be with you, I’m sorry…” You say, you lay a hand on his cheek and you feel a tear roll down your cheek. He leans into your hand and has glint of happiness in his brown eyes, he smiles and sighs with relief and joy. He takes your hand and shakes it firmly before leaning in and kissing your cheek softly.

“I will see you at 6:00; I understand Katy and thank you for your forgiveness.” He says and gives you one final smile and he disappears around the corner. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, you turn to see Justin standing there with a shocked face. He looks at you and gives you a quick hug and he pulls back, looking confused.

“You were married to Colin Kaepernick?” He asks and you laugh out loudly, making multiple birds fly away. You nod and take his hand and you guide him towards the check out. You think about that moment and you feel like that went better than it could been. You may hate what Colin did but you would never hate him, he was your 1st love and no one ever forgets there first love…

6:00 will be here in no time…