anonymous asked:

Could you do a skeleton with a ball-and-chain, except the chain has a skull for a ball, and the skeleton has the ball for his head? please they'll take my wife if i don't give them this incredibly specific image

That’s the third time this week. Tell those bastards in the Yakuza that they can just commission me if they want these pictures so bad.

Ti riconosco dai capelli, crespi come cipressi, da come cammini, come ti vesti, dagli occhi spalancati come i libri di fumetti che leggi, da come pensi che hai più difetti che pregi, dall’invisibile che indossi tutte le mattine, dagli incisivi con cui mordi tutte le matite, le spalle curve per il peso delle aspettative come le portassi nelle buste della spesa all’Iper, e dalla timidezza che non ti nasconde perché ha il velo corto, da come diventi rosso e ti ripari dall’imbarazzo che sta piovendo addosso con un sorriso che allarghi come un ombrello rotto. Potessi abbattere lo schermo degli anni ti donerei l’inconsistenza dello scherno degli altri, so che siamo tanto presenti quanto distanti, so bene come ti senti e so quanto ti sbagli, credimi.
—  Caparezza, Una chiave.
Yekaterinburg prison  zoo

An inmate of a prison in Yekaterinburg with raccoon Semen that is living there since April of  2015 and is a part  of the prison’s zoo. Semen loves eating cookies and sleeping in a sport bag. But the most important Semen passion is chilling in water and it created a conflict between Semen and another prison animal, crocodile Lacostic that  lives behind  bars since 2012.

Semen loves prison’s pool so much that he would live there if not for Lacostic. Strangely enough, Lacostic is the one who is afraid of Semen, not the other way around. Prison staff and inmates use a septum to separate angry and ready to fight for the  pool Semen from scared and frustrated Lacostic.

In October of 2016, Semen’s bachelor  life was over when he was joined by a female raccoon Bella that shared his love for the swimming pool.

Other prison animals include rabbits, aquarium fish, parrots, squirrels, hedgehog, cats and turtles. Prison officials believe that the animals help to rehabilitate the inmates.  

Imagine person A of your OTP is in prison for a reason of your choosing. They’re quite charming, and use this to their advantage with the officers around them, flirting and teasing their way into extra privileges.

Person B is a police officer recently transferred into that section of the prison. They are unintimidated by A’s charges and unimpressed by their charms, which makes them the easiest person for the bosses to put in charge of A.

Bonus: everyone is shocked when, as soon as B is put in charge, A’s usually confident and suave demeanour becomes awkward and nervous because dammit they really like B and they’ve never met someone who makes their mind go blank and their mouth go dry and they suddenly have no idea what to say or do and that is terrifying.