priority resolutions

Caring for your ENFP

Ask lots of questions. 

     Because of the auxiliary Introverted Feeling function, ENFPs often have a difficult time expressing deeper emotions. Many times this is due to not wanting to burden others with their problems or feeling as though they should be able to work through things themselves. This tends to create great internal conflict between the need to communicate (in order to process) and the need to guard (in order to avoid conflict.)

    ENFPs use their dominant function, Extraverted Intuition to brainstorm and process information, because of this, they often use speaking aloud as a way to formulate new ideas about what they are dealing with. This is a coping mechanism that helps to work through anxiety, worry, doubt and insecurity.  

   If you have an ENFP in your life that seems withdrawn, sullen or struggling to get something off their chest a great way to help them “deal” is to ask probing questions. 

    Create time and space to listen to your ENFP, asking questions to help them get to the bottom of the situation, and remember that body language is just as important an indicator of engagement as verbal language. Your ENFP will not open up to you if they feel the conversation is not welcome. These are deep personal feelings we are talking about here… not the fucking weather. 

    Unexpressed emotions lead to unresolved emotions (fears, doubts, worries, insecurities, etc…) which can lead to long-term inability to communicate, resentment, and a host of other toxic elements within their personal relationships. 

   It is important to remember that ENFPs want, more than anything, for our fears to be dispelled and our anxieties to be proven wrong, so we are ALWAYS open to new ways of looking at a situation. Often, ENFPs with a well-developed tertiary Extraverted Thinking function can work through tough issues rather quickly with the help of an interested friend. 

  If you find yourself at a loss with your ENFP, if they seem as though they are all over the place and you can’t seem to figure our what the fuck their problem is… it’s because you haven’t asked. 

2017 New Year’s Resolution
  • stop hanging around people who make you feel left out
  • value yourself, you’re smart talented and beautiful!!
  • rather than complaining, create change
  • don’t worry about finding love, live your life
  • stop worrying about what other people think about you
  • if someone ignores you unless they’re feeling lonely then it’s time for you to cut ties and find better friends
  • read more books! i know school is tough but reading is the best thing in the world
  • ignore people who create unnecessary drama
  • take charge of your life and don’t take shit from anyone
  • stop giving your love to people who don’t return it
  • maybe work on your procrastination
  • people change, and you won’t stay friends with the same people forever
  • enjoy the little things, they’ll be gone before you know it
  • take more pictures of everyday things, you’ll thank yourself in a year
  • tell people what you really think
  • take the time to remember people you don’t want to forget
  • don’t feel guilty for walking away from people who take you for granted
  • study hard and don’t stop until you’re where you want to be
  • challenge yourself and be open to new ideas
  • work on yourself before working on others, you are your own priority

Thoughts on New Years and New Cycles

I found myself, yesterday, thinking a lot about cycles. The wheels give us many messages; they tell us: “Okay, it’s time to rest. It’s time to work. It’s time to reflect. It’s time to harvest. It’s time to drive forward.”

These patterns are constant and visit us like clockwork. They take many different forms, but in this particular instance, I’m not talking about January 1st or November 1st. I’m not talking about the full or new moons, nor holidays, solstices, or equinoxes.

I’m talking about the every day occurrences that can make the beginning or the end of an era in someone’s life. I’m talking about anniversaries, I’m talking about graduations, initiations, days of remembrance. And in particular, I’m talking about birthdays.

I’ve had a few days to think. My birthday this year was not as I’d hoped. I didn’t get to see nearly anyone I wanted to, we were all too busy to meet up, and after work and education was all said and done, I’d barely had time to eat dinner before sleeping for 5am work the next day.

But I’ve always viewed my birthday as both and end and a beginning. A point to look back at all I’ve done and still hope to accomplish. Setting priorities and drawing resolutions shows me that I am in control, regardless of my restrictions. Counting the years I’ve amassed makes me realize just how lucky I am; knowing that the time I have is borrowed, and is more than most people get.

I make goals for my witchcraft and I breed magic in every space I can. And most importantly, I use my birthday to inhabit my space as a witch, and to expand my self further and further outward.

And that is something that can be done regardless of time.

Why don’t we view our birthdays as something more? As its own sort of Sabbat? For me, the message my birthday sends is:

“Yes. I made it. I am still here.
And I am thriving.”

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