Beauty and the Beast Mini-Review: Belle’s Wardrobe
The Blue Dress: okay so right off the bat we’ve got trouble. Her clothes have no form at all, and they’re layered awkwardly? It’s almost like the costume designer was trying to disguise the fact that Emma Watson wouldn’t wear a corset stays by layering vests and bodices on top of one another. The red elements stand out really sharply, and are frankly jarring to look at when you first see them onscreen. There are awkward side-lacings (I’m unsure if this is because Emma refused anything resembling corsetry or…?) that look very community theater. I don’t know who to blame for this one, but it looks bad. Also for like half of “Belle” her skirts are hitched way up on the side of her thigh to showcase the fact that she’s… wearing bloomers? Blue printed bloomers. I think the idea was to demonstrate that she’s Actually Wearing Pants You Guys (because pants are feminist, didn’t you know?) but all I could think was “why the fuck are you doing the shopping in your underwear??????”
Shoutout to the weird, TOMS-lookalike shoes she wears for “Belle (Reprise)” and to do the laundry. She was wearing boots for the first part of this scene. Where did they go?
Underneath the blue vest… thing… is a red floral printed white vest thing. It looks a little better? But not much. This whole ensemble is awkward.
The Red Dress: What in God’s name is your bodice doing and can you make it stop. It’s loose, and there’s a peplum, and hey look! Laces on the front where they belong! only… not like that. Okay in all seriousness. This is better? Sort of. You don’t look at her and immediately go “oh she’s wearing a bra”, but that doesn’t always mean better sometimes it just means you can’t see anything because your weird peplum bodice thing is almost falling off what the hell. It at least looks more professional? But I hated every second this thing was onscreen.
The Gold Dress: aka The Reason I’m Redesigning, aka What In The Iron Hells. In motion I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would? But that’s honestly because I couldn’t focus on the shiny cheap-looking fabric on her bodice, which (again) is obviously I’m Not Wearing A Corset Or Stays. The glitter-glue on the skirt is supposed to literally be magical decorations. Does magic believe in embroidery? Apparently not. Going down the stairs the fabric looked gorgeous, and there were moments when it seemed okay? But then one of those damned tiered flounces would fly up and I was torn right out of the moment.
Belle, why would you ride a horse in this dress. Why would you do anything in this dress, including dance, but why would you ride a horse in this dress. (She does - she doesn’t stop to change clothes, instead riding off into the night with loose tiered flounces flapping in the wind behind her)
Special shoutout to Belle’s Chemise And Fake Stays, which have about ten minutes of screentime! Yep, in this version, after she saves Maurice (and escapes an asylum transportation cart - long story), she goes riding back to the castle in her literal underwear. She takes the gold dress off and throws it in the dirt (hey look It’s A Feminist Point) and spends the climax of the film in a long chemise and this weird kind of shiny vest thing that’s obviously supposed to vaguely resemble period undergarments but really, really falls short - the side laces came back. I was no happier to see them now than the first time. Every time I saw this onscreen I cringed, ESPECIALLY at the end of the film when she and the transformed Prince (Adam? I’m calling him Adam.) come out to greet the villagers who are flocking back. Belle is still in her underwear. The whole town is going to think you two are going at it like rabbits, but I guess that’s not important because Feminism You Guys.
NOTE: I forced myself to stay awake last night to do this. As you will see from the body of this post as well as the tags. Mistakes were made. But worth it. ____________________________________________________________
It is currently 11PM but I decided to start now regardless. Because who needs sleep to be able to function at work in the morning? Right, me either. Therefore, tonight’s show folks:
CONTROVERSY. HOUSTON. DECEMBER 20, 1981. LET’S GET INTO IT.
Overview: Six short months after that friend of a friend’s concert in Paris in a 3000 person venue, here you are in Houston watching that same friend of a friend play an arena that holds 17,500. Why are you flying all over the world for this man anyway? Oh, because he’s STILL. FINE. And his band is EVEN BETTER. He’s traded in the bikini briefs for some nicely fitted pants, thrown some DEEPLY appreciated curls in that hair, and is putting on a show that is leaving you with several emotions you were unprepared to handle. And with the receipts he’s been throwing out all night across that stage, you have to resolve to just shoot your shot. You know SOMEONE’S gettin’ chose tonight. And it for doggone sure better be you.
Sorry. I’m focused ya’ll. I promise. It’s just…this show ya’ll. This show. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen it, and BOY was it great to be reminded about what a treat it was. Especially after having watched the Paris show in all of it’s unpolished glory. Next to that, this Controversy show feels like it is years apart in production, in sound, in vocals. If we knew nothing about boyfriend, we would be hardpressed to find out that these shows were in such close proximity to each other. But they are, and that is the beauty of the great talent that is Prince. How he could just level up, and ever so quickly, leaving us still reeling from the euphoria of the thing he’s already left behind. What a man.
In terms of Prince productions, clearly this one is still low on the totem, but in no way was it ragtag or even unpolished in my opinion (though I have no problem with unpolished). I know most folks will say that Purple Rain is when he boiled it all down to a fine science, but I’d like to argue that this show was a clear indication that he had already figured it out this early on. He was just waiting for the rest of the world to catch up to him and what he already knew about himself. His confidence and ability to completely captivate this audience that is literally more than 5 times the one from six months prior is remarkable. He’s interacting with the audience more, which was basically not happening in the last show. His band is audibly tighter despite changes in members (hey Brownmark!). He is a more defined bandleader in this show and I’m loving watching him be subtly instructional. And hearing/seeing the results of what I’m sure is hours upon hours of hard work on all their parts is giving me life at 1:15am. Bless.
He’s also figured out how to channel a ton of that energy that just came exploding out in the last show a lot better this time around. Some of the dances are still like “Prince….” (see what someone so eloquently titled his mating dance during Let’s Work) but they are met with an underlying, not yet fully blossomed swag that makes you say “…okay” as you watch on fondly and maybe slightly aroused? Who’s to say? (I am, I am to say). The shoulder shimmy is still here at times tho, thank GOD. Some of that energy is also channeled into giving some insane guitar performances. There was an interpolation of I Feel For You after Why You Wanna, and I promise I felt myself lift from my bed slightly.
Favorite Number: This is sincerely difficult seeing as how there wasn’t a single bad or boring number in this entire show. I mean, Second Coming took me to church, ya’ll hear me? CHURCH. And in the same breath, I will mention how he offered up several receipts during Head and Do Me Baby that I am not yet in a place to be unaffected by. And I am perfectly okay with staying in that place for the entirety of my life. Also, regarding Do Me Baby: GO ‘HEAD AND SING THE SONG PRINCE!!!!!! Insert as many of the handclap emojis you need to drive home the point.
But if I MUST choose, then I’m going Private Joy. The utter delight with which he performed that song made me smile soooo hard. It’s already a jam, so I think I will land there. Also, see aforementioned “also regarding Do Me Baby.” The boy was sangin’.
Favorite Outfit: I love Prince in some good suspenders as much as the next guy, but the animal print blazer with a vest and no shirt during the encore is a clear winner for me.
Still Would Rating: I used to sleep on Controversy Prince long, long ago when it came to considering the “still would” factor. Since then I’ve learned. And tonight I relearned. Because not only did I watch Houston, but I slipped up and turned on the Capitol Theatre show as I’m typing this. He’s asking me if I wanna close my eyes as pants are unbuttoned and hip chains are irresponsibly revealed. WELP.
Overall Rating: This show is such a good time. Energy is high, nothing but jam after jam, and you get to see Prince really step into his stardom (I think) even if everyone else hadn’t quite seen it yet. It’s definitely one I will have to make sure I revisit more often.
Do you ever wonder what Yuri and Otabek's wedding would be like?
I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT BECAUSE I AM SO DAMN SAPPY.
I feel like a wedding between Yuri and Otabek would be so fucking extra (a lot of it would be Yuri trying to out do anything Viktor and Yuuri had at theirs). Coming up with a theme, a place, a date, colors, ect….it would be stress city for both of them, especially Otabek given that I don’t feel like he is the best at planning. I see they would argue a little over what they want too–and who would wear white and who would wear the traditional black tux. Cake testing would be fun, though Yuri would want to be that person and have a different cake flavor for EACH layer.
Though, it would end up being Beka in traditional black and Yuri in this pretty white tux with an animal print vest on the inside. Maybe his long hair done up in a bun, yellow flowers wound around the circumference. It would definitely be an outdoor wedding on the beaches of Barcelona to represent the nostalgia and sentimental reasonings of the place that brought them to cross paths again. Everyone they know sitting in white chairs…and I can see shoes would be forgone due to sand.
It would be a touching ceremony, filled with tears on both Yuri and Otabek’s ends–plus from the crowd of their friends (and maybe family, if they choose to support them) and as they share their first kiss as husbands, doves would be let go from behind them and everyone would would be clapping and cheering (especially a certain pair of skaters that feel very paternal towards the wee kitten).
When Charlie calls the boys in to help with a hunt at Comic-Con, they aren’t expecting Cas’s coat to be such a hindrance.
It’s been an exhausting day, and they’ve gotten nowhere. Dean had had no idea that comic conventions could get so crowded, and with Charlie busy, she isn’t on hand to point them in the right direction.
“Look,” she’d said, when she called them in, “I’m pretty sure it’s just a run-of-the-mill ghost type problem, and I could totally take care of it myself, but I’m a guest handler this time, and I’ve been assigned to Gillian Anderson. So please, please, please? I cannot miss this opportunity.”
“We’ll be there,” Dean had promised, and so here they were, standing in an absolute sea of nerdery – and man, did Dean wish they had the time to examine some of the costumes, because wow – without any idea where to begin.
It doesn’t help that they can’t seem to go more than a few feet without someone accosting Cas to compliment him on his Constantine cosplay, although at least one person had called him the Doctor, someone had asked if he was something called Blacksad, and a couple of teenage girls, wearing a frankly alarming amount of plaid, had squealed and asked him if he was Castiel, while he stared frozen at them, like a deer in headlights.