Breaking Broken Hearts [Jin Angst]
THIS IS PART 1, FIND PART 2 HERE!
Genre: Pink Princesseu sadness and angst and tears and a lot of heart breaking moments.
“If the heart is the strongest muscle, then why does it break so easily?”
Nothing hurts more than realising that no matter what you do for him, he’ll always make her his number one. And no matter how much you wished it was the other way around, you were always going to be his second choice.
It was his Jin’s birthday. A day where you could show him how much he actually means to you. A day where it was supposed to be perfect with only the two of you, hanging out. A day that was supposed to make him realize that you would do anything and everything for him.
It was supposed to be you and him. Not you alone, in this dark room.
Jin had promised to come home earlier. Even though it was his birthday, the boys still needed to perform their new song. It was just good since you knew all the fans were looking forward to it. And you had time for yourself to get everything ready until he got home.
You prepared his favourite food and made the kitchen look nicer than usual. It was tiring and you almost burned yourself several times while cooking. But what didn’t you do for him?
It was past 8pm when you started to get nervous. What if he forgot or couldn’t make it?
You picked up your phone, dialed his number and pressed your phone against your ear as you waited. Your call went straight to the voicemail making your heart drop.
Did he just ignore you?
You sank down on the chair and looked down at your hands. You knew where he was. You knew really well what he was doing.
Her. He was with her. Of course he was with her. Of course he would celebrate his big day with her. He still loved her after all.
You felt stupid, pathetic, hurt and crazy for loving a boy you knew would never see you as a girlfriend. You felt like breaking down, right there. Because it hurt more than anything. Because you knew the truth since the begining but kept hiding it from yourself. You knew everything was just a dream that wouldn’t come true. A dream that you’ve dreamed of since the two of you were in kindergarten,
Getting up, you started to clean the kitchen. Taking down the decorations and cleaning the table. Once you were done, you felt empty. Your heart felt empty. Empty but at the same time heavy. Could that even be possible?
You were tired, exhausted. Was your heart even able to stand more pain?Because you seriously wanted to give up. You wanted nothing but leave. Not only was you acting like an obsessed love sick idiot, but you were too naive to realize that you were blind because of love.
Maybe you really were dumb for being in love with a boy you knew was impossible to have
It was past 1am when you heard the front door open. You heard his voice, he was talking on the phone with her. He was laughing at something she was saying.
“She’s probably asleep, I’ll talk to her tomorrow” you heard him say as he came closer to your shared bedroom. You got a hard grip on the duvet and shut your eyes hard.
“Yeah, good night. I’ll see you tomorrow. Yeah, I love you”
You pressed the duvet against your heart and shut your eyes harder to prevent the tears from falling.
You heard Jin walking around the room but you had no idea what he was doing until you peeked up at him.
He was packing. Packing his clothes. He was leaving. He was leaving you for her. He finally got her back and was leaving.
You shut your eyes again and pressed your face into the pillow that started to get wet because of your tears while cluthcing your heart and keeping your mouth shut.
That night was one of the hardest night for you. As you laid there, beside him with the thought of him leaving you the next morning hurt. It broke you apart. The thought of not being able to wake up next to him after today killed you. It made your heart beat slower and extremly painfully.
As the morning came, you woke up after him. You wanted to stay there and stop the time. You weren’t ready to let him go although you knew it was the best thing to do for the both of you.
You found him in the livingroom after that you had brushed your teeth and got ready, with the suitcase beside him as he looked down to his phone, his fingers typing on the screen. He was still looking down at his phone when you came closer before he realised that you was there and placed his phone away.
“Hey” he greeted you and patted on the couch beside him. You gave him a small smile and sat down beside him.
It’s the last time I can sit this close to you, you thought.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come home last night… I got invited to a party and… Nana was there. You know I can’t say no to her, she’s my best friend. I hope you understand that” he explained and looked at you.
You nodded once.
“And I have something I want to tell you”
It was now. He was going to say it.
“Maybe… maybe we should break up? I’m not sure if I love you as a girlfriend. I see you as one of my closest friends. I’m… I’m in love with Nana. I’ve been in love with her since day one. You already know that… but now that I know that she loves me too, I want to make it work. I want her” As those sentences left his lips, you just felt your heart break into thousand of thousand pieces. You felt like your lungs were being ripped away and that someone was stabbing your heart with a knife every living second.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry that you had to hear this. I know how you feel about me. I know you like me and that you care about me and I’m thankful for that. But I honsetly can’t control whom I fall in love with” he said and grabbed your cold hands in his big, warm ones.
You nodded again while tears streamed down your face. You haven’t been able to look at him at all since you first saw him on the couch earlier. You haven’t been able to open your mouth and tell him how you feel.
That you don’t like him, that you love him. Love him with alll that you had.
“I’ll leave this house since it’s both ours. You can stay here, everything is yours from now on. And… please, try to forget about me, about us” he said quietly and squeezed your hands before letting them go making you finally look at him.
“I will leave. It’s your house. It was never mine to begin with. Please, stay here” you said quitely, afraid that your voice would break.
You stood up and I walked to the bedroom where you closed the door, locked it and sank down on the floor with your back pressed against the door. It was there you completely broke down. Letting the tears run down your face.
You knew this day would come sooner or later, but you didn’t expect the pain that would come with it. You didn’t expect your heart pounding so slow and painfully. You didn’t knew you had more than a heart. Because everytime you thought about it, it felt like your heart was breaking over again. Love was making you go insane. You didn’t expect it to rip you apart.
Because that’s what it was doing to you. It broke you, completely.
You started to pack your things while wiping away your tears every 3 seconds. You stopped when you heard that you got a message. Picking your phone up from the night stand, you saw it was from Nana.
From Nana 5/12-2015 10:16am:
“Who won? Guess he still loves me, don’t you think?”
And then another.
From Nana 5/12-2015 10:17am:
“I told you to give up. It would be a lot easier for all three of us.”
You clenched your fists and sat down on the bed and started to write something back before sending it.
“I love him. I didn’t give up because I love him more than anything else. I’m not angry at him. I’m just worried that he will get hurt, because of you.”
To be honest, you were never angry at him for loving her. You knew from the start how much she meant to him and how many things he has done for her. You three was best friends since kindergarten. It has always been like that. You loving him, he loving her, her loving another.
You still remember the day he showed up at your doorstep, drenched because of the rain. He looked so broken, so hurt and so lifeless. All because of her.
Will you even be able to forget about that night? Will you even be able to protect his heart from getting hurt again?
You knew that Nana’s talent was to break hearts, you didn’t want her to hurt Jin’s heart again. But was he going to listen to you? He was blindly in love with her, just like you were in love with him.
Were you going to let her break him apart again? Were you going to let that break you apart? Were you going to let broken hearts break again?
HI MY BUTTERFLIES! It’s been over a week since last time and oh gosh, I’ve missed writing soooo much!
I know you missed me.
I was supposed to post a scenario on Jin’s birthday to celebrate his big day with you guys, but I had so much to do. This week has been very hectic and I’m so happy that it’s over.
2 more weeks and then I’m free from school. Caaaaaaaan’t wait!!!
So back to the scenario. What did you think of it? Did you like it or nah? I honsetly don’t know since I’m totally dead in the head since BTS MV.
Oh, now that we’re talking about the MV. WHAT. THE, HECK?!?! I know I’m not the only one that has the biggest “wtf?” in my head rn. It srsly was soooooo good. It was perfect. But whyyyyy did they do this to us? I was so freaking confused and I don’t know what theory I should believe…
I’m honestly strating to get a headache because of this again lmao.
Please let me know what you thought of “Breaking Broken Hearts”!
I love u all and thank you so much for reading! And thank you for 500+ followers!
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(The traffic dance gif is not mine. Ctto)